Here is an entire page from the latest International Scientology News reporting on the wonders of the “25th Anniversary” MV Cruise for the math challenged.
Dear Leader seems to have outdone himself with his presentation of big lies and small stats to “support it” — yet the “small stats” are REALLY small, but just hyped as being “big.” It is really quite bizarre how they can break down stats into “completions per hour” and make the most pathetic appear to sound big and “booming.” And it seems nobody EVER does the math to see what is really being said.
Everyone else is obviously out of step with Dear Leader making announcements about 5X expansion since GAG II. By his calculation (is there any other?) it is actually 47X.
Now that is an interesting figure and is his BIG LIE, apparently pursuant to the statement attributed to Hitler: “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it and eventually they will believe it.” Every time you turn around there is another person making statements about the massive international expansion “since GAT II.”
Miscavige’s number is by far the biggest I have seen. But what does his big lie represent? Obviously it is not 47X the number of orgs. There have been two new orgs in the last 20 years and 4 or 5 closed down or “consolidated” and certainly NONE since November last year.
Or Missions — there aren’t any new missions appearing anywhere in the last year either, though it appears some have finally given up and closed their doors.
And it’s not 47X the number of people who identify themselves as scientologists.
It’s not even his favorite — 47X square footage of church owned property. But he does include THIS impressive stat that occupies a full third of a page:
A million square feet “space planned”? Oh come on. And if the “space planned” had been made any smaller it would have disappeared entirely. I wonder how long it will be before he starts talking about “x million square feet of ideal orgs approved to purchase” (Orlando and Santa Barbara would have counted)?
But back to the 47X — it’s definitely NOT completions on services as you will see below.
It must be 47X completions on the Running Program by public since it was released, assuming there were 2 or 3 completed before the release. Or 47X completions of Super Power by public since its release.
Or perhaps it is 47X the number of exclamation points used?
Or 47X the number of ridiculous modifiers employed to try to convince people there is expansion happening?
Or maybe it is 47X the number of full page photoshopped images of Dear Leader appearing in church promotion and magazines?
There is just nothing anywhere that reflects 47X global expansion. But he just comes right out and asserts it. That nose of his must be the only thing experiencing straight up and vertical expansion in scientology.
Now for the other stats, which I have taken at face value (likely untrue, but it doesn’t matter):
One academy level every 5 hours equates to 20 per week (believe me, when Marc Yager does these silly breakdowns, “every x hours” means every 12 hours because orgs are only open 12 hours a day — even if they counted it as a 24 hour day, it would only double the amount and not really even change the order of magnitude).
20 per week is 1040 per year. There are 150 orgs worldwide. That is an average of 7 levels completions per year per org. Or ONE CLASS V AUDITOR PER YEAR PER ORG.
Bring on the dancing girls and set off the fireworks!
Student Hat Completions are “highest in history” — astonishing feat. Do you know if you ordered everyone in scientology, no matter where they are on the Bridge to do the “new” Success Through Communications Course and made it a prerequisite to ANY further auditing and training, you would have HIGHEST EVER STCC COMPLETIONS!!!
They are getting one Purif Completion an hour — that is 30 per YEAR PER ORG or a lot LESS THAN ONE A WEEK PER ORG.
But they are only getting 10 Objectives Completions per org per year. That is a loss of two thirds of the public from Purif not going on to complete Objectives.
Even the most “impressive” sounding stat, one release or clear every eight minutes breaks down to 220 “releases or clears” per year per org. That is 4 “RELEASES” A WEEK PER ORG. And the percentage of clears in that number is less than 1% of 1%. And you know those releases include people completing AN OBJECTIVE process.
These statistics are HORRENDOUS and prove exactly opposite of what is being asserted.
Apparently nobody notices.
Good thing they send out their videos and magazines to the bitter defrocked apostates on the fringes of the internet as it seems we are the only people who can use a calculator.
Just for fun, here is some of the woodchip word salad he fed the clubbed seals in his “opening address” — it is really getting stranger and stranger. This MV (which he could not be bothered to conduct at all last year, the real 25th anniversary of the maiden voyage) he explains “…you are in for as memorable a crossing as any in nautical history — or for that matter, Whole Track history, because from here on out, there is nothing except the infinity of adventure and a voice from the shell of time — the one you might have heard up the gangway, repeating that phrase again and again: ‘Welcome to our Whole New World.'”
Self-importance, pompousness and an ability to lie without embarrassment are apparently three of the primary qualifications for holding the position of “ecclesiastical leader of the scientology religion.”