Another report on the glorious wonderment of flag and its incredibly impressive statistics (unless you actually think about them rather than just read the exclamation points and assume it’s “amazing”).
The clubbed seals are applauding loudly.
This dose of donkey droppings presented as plum pudding comes from Sabine Peschken, once the CO WISE International. She fell from grace many years ago, but I had not heard of her until she reappeared as a Flag money-grubber in Australia.
Here is her gibberish, followed by some comments:
THIS IS THE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
OF THE FLAG BUILDING OPENING
Exactly one year ago Chairman of the Board RTC pulled the ribbon of our new Flag Building and sent us soaring into a world where the results have been exponentially extraordinary.
Within just the first month of Flag Building delivery, 4,000 Scientologists started on a service.
Which made for a total of 1.3 million student points a day!
30,000 well done auditing hours…
60,000 hours of delivery from all of Flag’s services…
And the realization that we are on the brink of a new civilization with the doors now open to LRH’s vision for World Clearing!
First of all, there’s what the Golden Age of Tech Phase II is really all about:
One year of Training delivery in the Flag Building has meant…
–More than 500 Student Hat completions,
–Nearly 300 Academy course completions…
–And most importantly, fully trained and perfectly standard Flag Auditors who CAN audit!
Let’s go to August of 2014 where we saw the very first co-audit TWINSHIP to both travel through the NED Auditor Course and CLEAR each other along the way!
But in total, the Flag Academy has taken this first year of Golden Age of Tech Phase II Training and blown it out the top.
Because they have now completed 310 Grade Chart steps with Academy auditing and already made 9 Clears in time for this celebration!
And with all that, Scientologists continued to flow up the Bridge in the Flag Building HGCs:
Every 5 minutes, it was another Grade Chart completion…
And all towards the glorious state of Clear.
That’s why it was no surprise to see waves of Clears being made, at a rate of more than one a day…
And the grand total of Clears surpassing any previous highest ever in Flag’s history.
467 Clears made for a tidal wave which stretched over to the Flag AO, where the number of Clears and pre-OTs staying at Flag until they are on Solo NOTs doubled in six months flat.
And with the Golden Age of Tech Phase II delivery in the AO course rooms and the OT Meter in full use by Flag’s Solo Auditors it made for a boom at the upper levels.
In which a staggering 1,149 OTs were made and a total of 422 New OT VIIs just since the Flag Building opened and the Golden Age of Tech Phase II was released!
And so we come to what the Flag Building is all about, and that is:
The delivery of the Flag-only Rundowns.
L’s delivery reached an entirely new range and saw a full 38 Ls completions in a single week. The Ls HGCs are on an absolute roll, because they’ve already completed their one-thousandth Ls completion for this anniversary celebration.
The Cause Resurgence Rundown likewise kicked into high gear. Scientologists from 49 nations and speaking 18 languages arrived to experience the first spiritual therapy on the whole track.
Together, they have made for over 90,000 hours of spiritual therapy… And completed over 900 from the rundown in this first year alone!
And if all that wasn’t enough, there are the rundowns which put World Clearing within reach.
By September, not only had 100,000 hours of Super Power delivery commenced but 50,000 perceptics drills were completed – and —
10,000 Super Power rundowns were now a total DONE.
And in the here and now, it all amounts to this:
The first 1,164 Scientologists are now DONE with Super Power…
All in the first year of Flag Building delivery.
Just this past week alone, we had:
–Affluence training completions at 114 and highest ever auditors made…
–No less than 22 SRD completions…
–A full 30 L rundowns completed
And another staggering 16 Scientologists achieving the State of Clear…
And this concludes your update of the Flag delivery and what is being accomplished in our new Cathedral. You are all invited to come to Flag. If you are in and around Sydney, come and see the Flag World tour on the 20th of December and find out more.
Flag Service Consultant
ANZO & Africa
Based on the first lie she foists off — that there were 4,000 people who started on service in the first month of the building being opened — there are some curious things that follow.
The grand total result of the 4,000 starts (*assuming that not another single person started for the entire year) was 500 Student Hat Completions and 300 auditor completions (of course ALL the auditor completions HAD to be student hat completions).
So, 500 of the 4,000 are accounted for.
They made 467 Clears (though a bunch of those probably also completed the Student Hat).
We can ignore the OTs and OT VII’s because they are at the Sandcastle, not the SP Building.
There are 1000 L’s completions — but many of those no doubt completed MORE THAN ONE L, and most probably also completed the Student Hat and a good percentage were counted on the Clears. So, just for the hell of it, say there are 300 people that completed one or more L’s that did not ALSO complete Clear or Student Hat. So, that leaves 3200 unaccounted for.
There have been 1164 SP completions, though no report on the Running Pgm. And again, plenty of these are duplicative. But even if we count the entire 1164 there are STILL half the 4,000 that apparently blew off and didn’t complete anything in a year.
1164 SP completions is 22 per week. For a $200 million dollar building this is a pretty bad return. And they have only gotten 1,000 or so out of the claimed 10,000,000 scientologists through the “most important rundown vital for world clearing.” That is .01%. Or to put it another way — at this rate it is going to take 10,000 years to wrap up the existing scientologists on SP.
And THIS is the good news. Put enough exclamation points and explain how amazing/incredible/monumental it is and they apparently buy it.
But the truth is that the “good news” they disseminate these days is the best evidence of the continuing fail that is the church of scientology. Their OWN FIGURES constantly hoist them on their own petard — but they are told they are raising Old Glory and stand around saluting….
And it is not just the staff who spread this disease of self-deception. The public are contaminated and they are encouraged to spread it to others.
I don’t know what Kristin Toth’s native tongue is, but you can get the gist. The same “good news” stats are given to the public to put on Facebook.
Tell them it’s plum pudding and they eat it up as fast as it drops out the back of the donkey.
If it is the first year then most of the completions will be the people who donated for it years ago. This will be the backlog working its way through. It will only settle down to a normal flow in 2018, when those who donated early can face this rubbish and have gotten through it. In 2018 I expect that to very very low flow and by that time the cult might be gone.
I predict 2015 to be the “Year of the Whale” in the Scientology religion (2016 as well) as they tap the whales for expansion-donations big-style for the money to keep them surviving from day to day.
You know Mike I must say, you turn out these articles faster than LRH pumped out his pulp fiction back in the day! Being a new subcriber, I’m in awe of the volume of good journalism, punchy wit and satirical humour thrown into the heady mix known as post scientology apocalyptica!
Your underground network that supplies thee with all the counter intelligence fodder must be in overdrive! CIA operatives wet dream! I wouldnt be at all interested in it unless I wanted want you want, the utter annihilation of DM’s church! I too have dear friends and family locked behind the bullshit curtain!
Everytime I read your posts I belly laugh and feel certain the end is near for the church. So thanks for that!
P.s. any news on latest high level deffections from the church is most welcome, I wanna know how wormtongue is squirming right now! If he doesnt RJ45 himself at the end I would love to see him behind bars sharing a cell with a 6.8ft gorrilla man named Bubba! Getsomme!
” And so we come to what the Flag Building is all about”
I thought it was all about the Hokey Pokey.. Gee.. Who Knew?
More laughs – you’re on a roll, today, Baby.
Correction: a staggering 1,149 OTs were re-made.
Although how you supposedly make someone into something they allegedly always were beats me.
“467 Clears made for a tidal wave…” Tidal? I think she meant toddler wave in a kiddies blow up paddling pool.
“and another staggering 16…” I nearly choked on my coffee when I read this bit of bs because I can imagine them staggering out in a daze and (hopefully) wondering where the money in their bank balances disappeared to..
Off topic: Just back from Tony’s and have to laugh at the legalese of Team Miscavige in communicating,
“Gosh, Judge, we need to keep Rinder out of the courtroom while Mike Ellis is being deposed, because Rinder knows so much, you see, and that could make our guy nervous so he flubs all the lies we’re drilling him on right now, which could even cause our guy to be asked questions we don’t want him to answer, and, well, look, its kind of a long story, you know, but Rinder there could just ruin everything for us, Judge, so please help, OK?”
And of course I had to write that I had heard Scn Chanting with their Lawyers..
” RED ROVER ..RED ROVER WE DON’T WANT MIKE RINDER TO COME OVER! “
I am so confused!!!!! Is she counting from day 1 way back in the 50’s? Does it make sense? I hated the new math, (was exposed to that shit in junior high back in the 60’s) and it still does not make any sense.
I know, this is an example of Florida education. Sadly I had kids that attended school in this state…..total lost cause;(
Peggy let me clear this out to you..
My name is Baby and I tell you that I am an international movie star / model I am 5′ 10″ and weigh 120.. I am drop dead gorgeous and am 24.
I have been talking to you on line for 5 years.. All is fabulous in my world.
But Shoot ya see me in Flag and I’m an Old Chubby Lady who eats too much. You Know, but ya know when you go back to Paris Ya can’t tell anyone about me.. and have to keep up the ruse.
and of course no one can use the computer to find out about the real me.
So Yep ..that is Sciloons real Math.. But shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don’t tell anyone.. Nope..
My fake stats 40 22 36 are as fake as Scn.
What a brilliant analogy 😀
“This dose of donkey droppings presented as plum pudding” just for this phrase Mike you’ve won an invitation at a very good restaurant around the “Gare de Lyon” in Paris. I just loved it and it couldn’t be more precise. So next time you are in Paris with your wife I’ll take you out to the restaurant we used to go to in OSA when we were doing our job with VIPs who needed to know about LRH tech. You are doing a great job Mike keep it going!
” –More than 500 Student Hat Completions.
” –Nearly 300 Academy Course Completions.
” –And most importantly, fully trained and perfectly standard Flag Auditors who CAN audit!”
(AUDITORS WHO CAN AUDIT! THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN AT FLAG, SABINE!)
Er…by the way, Sabine, as regards these “fully trained and perfectly standard Flag AudItors” , how many of them exactly have been made by Flag this past year?
You neglected to include a number for this particular statistic, dear, which would be helpful.
No rush on this, though. We understand.
Abi Ja says
FACT 1 – Elron (shit)H(ead)ubbard ?!?characterized?!? Scientology as a religion, and in 1953 he incorporated the Church of Scientology.
FACT 2 – Apple was founded by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne on April 1, 1976.
Even after 2 decades apart, Apple has far more success to show than Slappy McShorty, – Not counting the “hole” which does not exist !!!!
If CO$ / COB is so popular, I wonder why iphones (not counting Mac and iPads) are more popular then CO$ ?!?!?!?
Don’t you tell me that apple is a business and Hubtard crap is a religion – if this is your best defence than read up what religion means !!!!
Slappy McShorty has made this cult a laughing stock !!!!
Robert Almblad says
Flag has the most sophisticated and successful “free” money extraction system in the world (the routing form to IAS and other “free” money stops is scientifically designed to suck every dollar from you). So, any reduction in the NUMBER of people arriving or departing will depress Flag’s income.
I don’t think this Flag service consultant is actually trying to sell Flag services. She is not selling L’s or OT levels. She is just trying to get anyone to go to Flag so they run the R/F gauntlet…. and fewer and fewer people are taking the bait.
Misleading or lying about stats, like “10,000 Super Power rundowns” is a desperate attempt just to just get people to arrive at Flag. Of course when they get to Flag it is like a ghost town with very few public (I drive through it twice a day and all the public places, parking spaces and stores are emptier than I have seen in 30 years.) but by the time they get there and see the ghost town it’s too late. Now they are on the Flag R/F and it’s only their wallet that will save the world.
“but they are told they are raising Old Glory and stand around saluting” Whose underwear are they saluting? Numbers and $cientology do not get along. From graphs with discernible axis to the repeated use of 47X, you can’t believe anything the clams say. It is all about the new speedier ‘climb the bridge’ courses. But only at Flag, everyone else is a semi-colon idiot. A truly poor investment is GAT 2, but then as everyone can re-re-complete ‘courses’ that they previously took, it is such a deal. Why doesn’t anyone mention that everything is easier the 3rd time around? Except for the regging, regging is never easier, no matter how many time you are regged. My apologies to anyone named Reginald.
Exponentially extraordinary=egregious emetic effluvium
Hallie Jane says
“And the realization that we are on the brink of a new civilization with the doors now open to LRH’s vision for World Clearing!”
Actually, this is a little more serious than I thought, Sabine.
In addition to a good 8 to 10 hours of sleep tonite you’ll need a hearty breakfast in the morning followed by a long walk. Really look at things. Then have a full lunch with plenty of protein, a salad and some fruit for dessert. After lunch, take an afternoon nap. Dinner should also include plenty of protein, some quality carbohydrate, and a cooked green vegetable. Throughout the day, drink lots of water and take vitamins. After dinner, go for another walk in the fresh air, then turn in for another good nite’s sleep.
The following day should find you feeling a lot more like yourself, and much less compelled to write like this. Good luck, hon.
Mike Rinder says
Best advice I have heard for a long time….
Idle Morgue says
I don’t think anyone with half a wit left would believe this anymore – seriously – it is beyond belief – the LIES!
Please watch the History of Hitler…on National Geographic.
You will see quite a few similarities between David Miscavige and Adolph Hitler.
Hitler killed himself on April 30th. David Miscavige was born on April 30th. Coincidence?
What really sunk in deeply after watching everything about the Life of Adolph Hitler – was how ONE man got so many other people to do such heinous and evil crimes against humanity. This reveals the vulnerability of the human mind. The fact that our Government in the United States does not protect citizens of Mind Controlling Cults is criminal in and of itself. The humabd IT CAN BE CONTROLLED and we were all victims of it. Thank God we got out!
Anyone still in Scientology contributing to the bankrupting, fleecing, extortion, bribery, manipulation of members and destruction of families – is insane.
I believe that the common trait of all Dictator’s is they eventually take themselves out.
“People – the end is near” infamous quote of Tony Ortega
Stick a fork in it – It’s over for Scientology.
I wonder how David Miscavige willl kill himself is the big mystery to me? This will happen if History repeats itself?
Do some research on the life and death of L Ron Hubbard – he did NOT drop his body willingly to go off to Target Two.
Read everything you can about Hitler’s Propaganda Machine and see what Hitler fed the people while living a double life. It was amazing! IT is exactly how Scientology Keeps Working…well, except for the sleazy attorneys and private investigators paid by donations to the IAS by members…
Cooper Kessel says
” I wonder how David Miscavige willl kill himself is the big mystery to me? This will happen if History repeats itself?”
You can rest assured He will be experiencing a massive case if indigestion on or about the 25th of January. You know he will be dying to see the new documentary on the cult that previews that day. Perhaps He will cleverly disguise himself as a CICSOHB and worm his way into one of the showings in Utah. He could pretend that He was on disability with Tourettes Syndrome which would explain away his outbursts!
Whaddya say good buddy? You gonna hitch a free ride with Tom and cruise out to Sundance for a fun evening on the town ………….maybe take in a show or two?
Old Surfer Dude says
Hey Coop! Maybe we should meet them at Sundance and hang out! If the dwarf gets on Davy’s shoulders, he’ll be as tall as I am.
Idle Morgue says
Cooper – I LOVE your posts!! Thank you. They make my day~!
Katniss Everdeen says
I am a postulating a small fender bender in Park City, UT on January 25th that results in Der Dwarfenfuhrer running through traffic naked screaming “I am an OT!!!!!”
Don’t go North Korean and threaten to terrorize all of the Sundance theaters. Maybe Sony can give you some advice.
“…exponentially extraordinary”… Sabine, dear, you need a good night’s sleep.
Kristen Toth be trippin’. Is that what Scientology does for you, because I think I’d rather eat glass than learn to spew that kind of nonsense.
Robert Almblad says
No matter how much they “say” they are delivering, more and more of the public knows them for who they really are: a money extraction system that delivers nothing or some squirrel tech.
This is sooo typical of the church attempting to overwhelm with “facts and figures”, which on the surface have a WOW factor. But when you actually try to make sense of what it means you are almost immediately mired down with conflicting data or unqualified data points, so that it is impossible to determine what the hell actually happened. The clue is the omitted details on how the stat is measured or what it actually comprised of, this leaves the reader to dub-in what it “means”, which may or may not be true.
It is apparent that Sabine considers these figures to be very significant and important, and assumes that the reader values such a thing. In her stat-fuelled reality, it makes no difference if 400 individuals completed one grade chart action or 4 individuals completed 100. What is important is 400!!!!!!
Jose Chung says
The fantastic news is always put out thousands of miles away from where it is supposed to be happening.
It’s only when you spent the money and arrive that the truth hits you.
In addition to the padded stats Sabine has copied the lexicon DM uses during his bombastic events; she uses words as: staggering, in the brink of, exponentially, etc, unless Shermanspeak wrote the report for her.
She forgot to mention that when “the ribbon was cut and they were sent soaring” they collided with a helicopter flying just above them which was flown by a great pilot and co-pilot. Tsk..Tsk..
Hallie Jane says
Wow, its been a while since I’ve read such exponential bullshit…where to begin?
This one caught my eye: Every 5 minutes, it was another Grade Chart completion…
60 minutes per hour
10 delivery hours per day = 600 minutes per day
7 days per week = 4200 minutes per week
52 weeks per year = 218,400 minutes per year
218,400 minutes/5 minutes = 43,680 Grade Chart Completions
That’s a shitload of certs 🙂
Or a payload of lies.
“Exponential bullshit”. Still laughing.
Rick Mycroft says
“Fully trained and perfectly standard Flag Auditors who CAN audit”
Heh. Really? But I thought that Derpy had trashed the Saint Hill Briefing Course. LRH had some pretty harsh things to say about what happens when you do that in 700802-1 A Short Briefing of Guardians Office Technical Personnel.
Ms. B. Haven says
Sabine Peschken sez: “Exactly one year ago Chairman of the Board RTC pulled the ribbon of our new Flag Building and sent us soaring into a world where the results have been exponentially extraordinary.”
The only thing I remember soaring exactly one year ago was a certain someone in a helicopter over Clearwater.
My spirits have been soaring ever since.
Ah yes, Apostate Airways 😀
Orc Bored says
😀 😀 😀
This email is already in Shermanspeak. How convenient !
Mat Pesch says
I spent plenty of time in the SP building before the interior walls were built. Imagine standing in an empty, open concrete to concrete floor of a building the size of a city block. Now imagine multiple floors of this. The place is HUGE. Spend $200 million dollars on the place. What does it produce? 20 Super Power completions a week! Completions that were supposed to be made at St. Hill over 30 years ago.
Add to that the fact that Flag only has about 3,000 active public that are not on OT 7 and thus eligible to do Super Power. At 1,000 completions a year the future looks even more grim…..
3,000 active public? I doubt it.
Mat Pesch says
When I was the Treas Sec FSO in 2002 I was asked to do a computer print out of everyone with at least $1,000 of activity on their account over the previous 3 year period. The print out was almost exactly 5,000 names. This was checked and rechecked as the number seemed so small.
I’m estimating about 2,000 of those public being “somewhere” in the middle of OT 7 as this is a key public for Flag.
Hallie Jane says
I know Mat. I was also wondering…..what would be the “nut” for this building. Considering taxes, utilities, maintenance, it’s got to be a huge sum just to run the place. The percentage of these “products” sounds like about .0001% of the monthly costs. Dm better open up the coffers.
Cooper Kessel says
I think 3000 is the number of meals of rice and beans that gets served up daily in the basement to the zombie seals.
I think a lot more than 1164 are “done” with sooper power. Just like they are “done” with scientology.
If 10,000 Super Power rundowns are done and 1,164 people are done with it that means they each did 859 rundowns.
WTF? Am I reading this correctly?
Mike Rinder says
They count “one” for each “perceptic” drill. And then multiply by 47X.
Thanks. Now I get it. Lolololol
I Yawnalot says
Another dose of statistical diarrhoea from the mecca of technical inadequacy.
You deserve some sort of award for actually reading and analysing that drivel Mike. It makes my eyes hurt!
Howdy, Mike. “Delirium” comes to mind. My dictionary defines that as “an acutely disturbed state of mind that occurs in fever, intoxication, and other disorders and is characterized by restlessness, illusions, and incoherence of thought and speech. • wild excitement or ecstasy.
ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: from Latin, from delirare ‘deviate, be deranged’
I noted that over on the Bunker today, your potential damage to Miscavige in the Garcia suit has them very much frightened. Good work!
“This dose of donkey droppings presented as plum pudding” says it all. The people still “In” just eat this up and say it’s yummy!!!!!!
When I first read “The Emperors New Clothes” as a child, I thought the author was just being clever but thought it ridiculous that anyone would EVER agree that the clothes were even there, much less that they were beautiful clothes.
Says so much about the power of a cult.
OMG Mike, I haven’t even read your article yet but just had to laugh out loud on the picture of the clapping seals you put up. That is so funny I almost fell off my chair. Your sense of humor comes out in the pics you post with each title of the articles as well as in the writing within. Where else but Mike’s blog can you spew coffee all over your computer and still laugh about it? Thank you for the humor!
I have to add… I always enjoy scientology math.