This is the first in a series of postings giving some insight into “Life Is Good After Corporate Scientology”. In this case, it also acts as somewhat of a Declaration of Independence for Phil. He is well known in the Denver field as you will see from his write up. Future posts will provide updates on how life is going for some others who are well known to many as prominent former church members. It’s part of the program to help those who are under the radar or in doubt to see that there is life, a happier and more fulfilling life, as a former SO member, staff member or reg bait. Mike Rinder
My name is Phil Colson I came into Scientology in 1983 my first session in the Denver Org was a Book 1 session that blew me out for a week and handled my major ruin in this life. This was life changing. I would drink enough whiskey every night to put me to sleep, but it was three months after this session that I realized I had not had a drink and did not desire to. I was sold, Scientology works, and I am going up the Bridge. By 1990 I had achieved the status of OT8.
I loved the lower grades and had many wins. These were done in Denver. I then started going to Flag. The auditing I did at Flag plus the services there always left me with question marks. The truth is I hated Flag and always felt rather dirty during and after my trips. I used to tell people who I could trust, “It takes me at least 6 months to get myself back to normal after visiting Flag.”
After OT8 I had a huge crash. I went back and forth to the Freewinds off and on for the next 6 years. I spent approx. 12 to 14 months living on the ship trying to get my life right. Probably the biggest gain I got from all this time on the ship was having Tom Supak as my auditor, this guy was what all auditors should strive for. It was safe to comm with him, he was never in a hurry, we were a team in session. He had perfect TRs, he was not rigid he was natural. You just wanted to tell him everything. Anybody else who had him as an auditor felt the same way, I know because I talked to them.
I heard he was put on the RPF and is probably still there. He was too STANDARD !
I did many OT hatting courses on the ship plus KTL and LOC. I was treated very good on the ship it was actually a very theta place. Plus I finished training to class 4 at my local org in Denver. I found auditing others to be a real joy and easy. Auditing is simple if applied correctly plus I saw what real TRs and proper auditor attitude was from Tom Supak. I love this man, he is a true Scientologist. The last time I was on the ship was 1996 and have heard it is no longer theta.
I went back to Flag in the winter of 1996 to get back onto OT7. This was the most horrific 3 months of my life. It is not a friendly place! My back went out, I caught a miserable cold, I couldn’t sleep. I wonder if I was PTS?
I finished the first part of OT6 and was not invited to go onto part B of the course. That was fine with me I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I left and 6 months later I was back to normal but I made a decision that was life changing and that decision was that I was going to be “KIND” and treat people like they are important from this point forward. The reason I made this decision is because people ARE important and should be treated as such. Later I was told that I was a security risk and was not welcome at Flag or the Freewinds. This was actually a relief: I was done! This was all Golden Age of Tech. I lost my desire to become an auditor and now I know why.
Two years later I was convinced to do my certainty courses at the Boulder Mission by the mission holder. Within a year I was getting trained as the course sup for the mission and did this for the next 11 years. I was not your perfect course sup like they train at Flag. I did not write a lot of pinksheets or harangue my students with unnecessary spot or meter checks. What I did instead was get in comm. with them and find out what they wanted to get out of their time on course. When I would sit down with someone who had a confusion I would listen to them tell me what was going on with their study or whatever else was happening. Then I would do what was needed to handle the situation. This might be word clearing or just listening and they would say now I understand and then I would leave them alone. I once did a rehab on a student who had just returned from the ship and had lots of BPC,( Standard upper org product). She was blown out after the rehab and it was done without a meter. Many of my students gave me gifts or would not come to course if I was not there etc. It seems I always felt like I was not quite doing things standardly and I should be a better course sup, but I had a hard time being dogmatic in my approach so I had my own BPC as a sup and every so often would try to be more standard. So I always felt like I was somewhat of a failure on this post.
In November of 2011 I went to AOLA and I was given my objectives again by a class 9 auditor to the tune of $65,000.00. I hated going to any upper org because of the vulture attitude of the IAS and the many other regges. I had wins but I was PISSED and felt like I have just been ripped off again!
I had to fight to get out of there, I really felt like the only thing they really want is my money.
After this trip I started my normal 6 month recovery when I read Debbie Cooks letter. I decided to look further. For the next 4 days I read everything I could find that was so called “entheta” on Scientology.
In those 4 days I blew so much charge and had such resurgences of purpose, knowingness, I quit feeling poor, I started making new plans for my future, I then spent time with an independant auditor and realized I could get real case gain and there was nothing wrong with my case. I even posted my opinion on Marty’s Blog. Then I sent a request for a refund to AOLA. I was told I would be declared. My response was, “I look forward to it being official”. I WAS DONE! I WANT OUT AND WANT THESE PEOPLE TO LEAVE ME ALONE, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! I had truly disconnected from CofS. It was not quite complete. It took about 6 months for the church to disconnect from me. When this came out I did not get a copy and have not heard from anyone it was all through the grapevine. My families in Scientology disconnected from me, I lost my job because I worked for Scientologist.
I started a new business and am now making 5 times the income I was getting before. I know now who my friends are and who I can trust. I have finally reached the EP of OT7 (cause over life). My postulates work! I have let go of all these stupid fixed ideas put in by my association with the CofS. I am dreaming of my future again. I realize I was doing a very good job as a course sup and I was not WRONG in so much of what I disagreed with in all aspects of my dealings with Scientology. I have lost a lot but I have gained many times what I have lost. I tell people the 2 smartest things I have done in this lifetime are: 1. Getting into Scientology and gaining an understanding of it and applying it. 2. GETTING OUT of the church! I also realize I am in control of my eternity and I will truly be fine. I really believe mankinds future will be very good, there will be bumps.
There is so much more I could relate and the cognitions could go on for hours. I have thought about writing a book. I have truly become pan-determined and my future is truly bright again.
Thank you for allowing me to speak (write)
all my love,