Mike Rinder's Blog

Something Can Be Done About It

Thursday Funnies

By 107 Comments

 

This is an Ideal Org Event

They rounded up all their 20 public and staff…

 

Epic…

No doubt Clive Rabies has a whole lot of new news. Not.

 

Oh, the glorious prose…

Well, a few words that sort of rhyme about being hung up on.

 

He is back again…

Seems like they only have one guy in Columbus

 

Imagine a drug free planet…

Somehow Trout Run does not really factor into this

 

This is what it takes?

A few old white people in togas

 

Only minorities need apply?

How weird is this? The almost exclusively white Flag Land Base has a business pageant for minorities. Smacks of mint juleps on the porch while the hired help have their annual picnic.

 

What a game…

You win a wooden anchor in honor of the Freewinds. A wooden nickel would have been better.

 

An ideal org

What happened to the 10X within months of “going ideal”? This place has been “ideal” for more than a decade. I guess the first 9 years they didnt do much. Even 3 times their production has not gotten them to St Hill Size… And look, they might have 50 staff!

 

Another young one falls prey

Just sad….

 

PR and prosperity

Gavin Potter is now the PR expert? Dave you need to grab him and get him busy on your PR as it went down the drain a long time ago….

 

Conquer your future

Harry Potter is also going to tell you how to harness your potential.  If this guy is so good at everything WTF is he doing holding seminars for 5 people at a time? How come he isn’t packing out arenas like Tony Robbins?

 

Trekkies…

Forget the togas. Spock is going to save the day.

 

Unleashing Abundance

Wonder why the Freewinds cannot unleash its own abundance?

Comments

  1. Those graphs are hilarious. It looks like someone just grabbed a pen and scribbled a (very similar looking) line on every one. All of them going sharply up of course. And where are the axes? Never seen graphs like
    that!

    Reply

  2. Sometimes the Funnies come from below the line in the comments. Two people today have mentioned “foot traffic” vis-a-vis Idle Morgues. The delusion that Exes carry around about the placement of orgs and that they have to have foot traffic is, to me, more humorous than the promos. I’m going to write this in easy-to-digest short sentences as their own paragraphs, with the possibility that maybe this will sink in and drive that LRH-ism out of your minds once and for all. And, yes, I am going to be offensive to your intelligence, because your intelligence is offensive to me when it comes to foot traffic.

    The Current Year is 2017 here on Teegeeack.

    In 2017, everyone carries around the Internet in their pocket with Google a couple of finger-presses away.

    Thanks to the Internet, everyone can find out the truth about Scientology within ten seconds by doing a Google search and finding sites like this one, xenu.net, even a certain blog I’m banned from.

    Thanks to those sites, no one is going to pass by a Church of Scientology, look at the window displays, and walk in looking for whatever it is they’re looking for.

    Foot traffic therefore no longer exists.

    “But what about body routing?” I hear you say, trying to keep any vestige of Hubbard’s “wisdom” regarding orgs alive and well. Again, the Internet is in people’s pockets.

    But don’t they send out the hottest-looking people they have in order to attract people? The Internet is in people’s pockets. And, as Avenue Q put it so well, the Internet is for porn. Who needs to see hot-looking people in Sea Borg uniforms when you can see hot-looking people naked with a couple of finger-presses?

    So body routing doesn’t work either.

    That means they can put their orgs anywhere they want. You can be critical of the Idle Morgue philosophy and execution on so many levels, and you usually are. But placement of orgs shouldn’t be used as an argument.

    Miscavige knows that this vestige from the Sixties doesn’t work anymore. The world has changed. So he’s removed foot traffic and body routing from the criteria on purchasing buildings. It may be offensive to you Exes, but in this instance, he’s right.

    And as for why they still do body routing? Anyone who’s ever been in any military anywhere knows the answer to that: you do certain stupid things when you get it because when your superiors just got in, they had to do the same stupid things. Consider body routing a hazing ritual.

    Reply

  5. I’m always interested to look at the language in these – typically, as it is used (and abused, re-defined and manipulated) in order to try to spin their abysmal, declining statistics into something positive.

    But today, I can’t help noting that the headline in the first piece is talking about:

    The Last Event at the Church

    That leaves me wondering if somewhere in the tortured, cognitive dissonances of their subconscious, they’re not aware that the end is near and that the day will inevitably come when their org finally has to close its doors for good.

    The Minnesota org is one that went “ideal” about 6 years ago, and that is probably now moribund and obviously not going to live up to promises. It’s also the one where just a few months ago, a man identified as a member tried to set the library on fire – interestingly, that incident seems to have been swept under the rug after initial media reports.

    Reply

  6. Gavin Potter, not that dope. . . again?!?

    I wouldn’t trust him in care of a garden hose and a shrub for a few minutes.

    You’d come back to find your house has burned down, your wife has left you, your kids have disconnected from you, and your credit cards have all been maxed out with suspicious increased credit limits.

    Yeah, that is the kind of trust people place in scientology and their key note speakers these days.

    Yuck.

    Reply

    • One wouldn’t even want to contemplate the fate of any pets in the above scenario. Pets are DBs to Scios!

      Reply

    • Is it just me, or is there a kind of fright-flick creepiness about Gavin Potter’s expression? Sort of unreal, like Chuckie, someone/thing like that.

      Reply

    • Well, I would think that Fox News will take Greta although she is a bit long in the tooth for their brand of journalism But i’d bet that President Trump will overlook the fact that she’s way past her shelf life.

      Greta, here’s some advice: you’ve got plenty of good years left as an experienced journalist, but never mind that. To qualify as a newswoman at Fox who’ll be interviewing President Trump, here’s what you do: grow your hair longer, do it blonder, get another face lift, and, last but not least, get yourself a good boob job. But for God’s sake, make sure you’re not bleeding or anything from all your surgery if Donald runs into you anywhere. You know how he has this thing about blood. Just keep your TRs in, Greta.

      Reply

  8. A few comments:

    1) “How weird is this? The almost exclusively white Flag Land Base has a business pageant for minorities. Smacks of mint juleps on the porch while the hired help have their annual picnic.”

    I think the minorities will find out just how welcome they are at Flag when they are told to use the back entrance.

    2) “Look who just joined staff at Stevens Creek.”

    This place has really gone downhill in the last 10 years; all the key staff have left. Truly pathetic. The move to the “ideal” location is in an industrial area and nowhere near foot traffic. It’s a wonder that they can keep the lights on. The only new people joining staff are the children of Scientology parents who can’t afford to pay for their college, so they have their kids join staff. The “alternative” is to have them join the Sea Org and never see their kids again.

    3) Slightly off-topic, but there is now someone named “COB” posting on Marty’s site in the comments section. Granted that anyone, even COB, can make up a screen name, but given Marty’s recent betrayal after trust, one has to wonder if the real “COB” is now officially a troll on Marty’s site.

    Another thing that’s hard to understand is why Marty would leave all the postings that are highly critical of COB and expose the criminal and unethical behavior of COB on his site. Perhaps OSA realizes, based on past experience like alt.religion.scientology, that it is pointless to try to delete these postings because once something is on the Internet, it’s virtually impossible to get rid of it for good.

    Reply

    • Howdy Jethro. I noticed that Cob post, too, also that it brought most of the other posters to a screeching halt. Gosh, I already miss AssKarma. Lol. I think it was at ESMB, someone figured out from the domain name change, that the blog now belongs to COS. Major weirdness going on.

      Reply

    • Jethro, if COB is really the SOB Miscavige, great! Why would he hide from a debate?

      I’ll always give someone a shot at defending their side of an argument.

      As a matter of fact, I challenge David Miscavige, right here, and right now, to post your honest feelings, your honest fears, and your honest regrets on Mike Rinder’s website. This is not a flippant post. David, you might discover that people will treat you with respect, if you man up and talk to people.

      Reply

  9. Bridges have brakes? What, are they afraid someone might steal it and drive it away or it will roll off down the road?
    Why in the name of Dorkenstein Monstrosity’s evil pompadour would you have a “EPIC ANNOUNCEMENT” flyer then hold it behind closed doors (minds?) and invitation only?
    I actually thought the line “Who look and don’t sit” read “Who look and don’t shit”. Then after going back and actually reading the whole hideous attempt at poetry decided that my version of that line sounded better.
    Saint Hill Size Newsletter; for starters how did they fold, let alone print, something the size of 59 acres (239,000 m²)? I see the drunken slug has been wending it’s dazed way across several pieces of paper again.

    Reply

  11. O/T Heard news there are recent escapees from Int and the Hole. Hope they are getting to Mike and Leah right away. Then sleep. Then write up some more details. Eat/Sleep. Repeat. Somewhere inside your decompression weeks, I urge you to read from this article, especially the two selections I’ve noted. There are important legal definitions of what a cult and human trafficking group is and is not. I learned several new factors of human trafficking that I think all members of Scientology and former members alike would find enlightening. Might be a useful bookmark to use when deciphering what is an “informed choice”, types of coercion, including subcategories of psychological and economic methods, “free to leave anytime” arguments, “but I wasn’t beaten so….” issues

    Recent escapees – timing is everything so I do so hope to see you in Season II of The Aftermath. I wanted to help by throwing you a link to a crash course in “WTF happened to me and WTH do I do Now?”. Best wishes and steady as she goes.

    I would also suggest contacting ICSA for additional information and resource help. I hope that whatever lawyer(s) Mike and Leah consulted are aware that this is another willing resource for them including recent legal changes as well as challenges. There is a new model emerging for prosecutors to employ existing human trafficking laws when dealing with cults. Both Robin Boyle Laisure and Prof Steven Kent (you lucky dog!) are speaking at ICSA’s Annual Conference, Jun 29-Jul 1 in Bourdeaux, France, so any responses may be delayed.

    “Employing Trafficking Laws to Capture Elusive Leaders of Destructive Cults.”

    https://law.uoregon.edu/images/uploads/entries/Laisure.pdf

    B. Cults Compared with Human Trafficking Rings
    B. Suggestions for Expanding Resources to Identify and Support Cult Victims

    “Human Trafficking: Emerging Legal Issues and Applications”
    https://www.lawyersandjudges.com/products/human-trafficking?variant=34577575814

    Reply

  12. “Single men and determined groups have been the only makers of space in which man could walk free.” LRH 1956

    Say what?

    Reply

  13. This is off topic but I wanted to share with you 2 quotes I read on MSNBC’s internet news this morning:

    “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power”.
    Abraham Lincoln.

    And then, in reference to Lincoln, from an 1884 essay by 19th century jurist Bob Ingersol:

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you want to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having absolute power, he never abused it, except upon the
    side of mercy;”

    I’m blown away by this!

    Once more, thanks so much to Mike Rinder, Leah, Tony O and so many Ex-staff and SO, for all that you do, and thanks to all of you here and elsewhere, reading/lurking/sharing/contributing.

    WE are the Dream Team.

    Ragtag as we are, under-funded certainly, prone to disagreement and infighting as we are, still, WE are still the winning team with the winning strategy.

    We’ll win, not because we are bullying others to bend to our will, but because, via peaceful and legal activities and the power of the pen we are supporting the many positive uses of power and protesting its abuses for thoughtless, cruel, selfish and dishonest purposes.

    Winning team, winning strategy. That’s us.

    And one last thought, if you don’t mind:

    I’m glad to be on the winning team. Especially if its true that we live life after life – and, frankly, I don’t know! I really don’t! – but IF its true, I’d REALLY hate to be on the wrong side of this!

    Thanks for reading, and have a great day.

    Reply

    • Aqua, good quotes. I recently watched The Stanfield Prison Experiment, Netflix. Really good! The experiment explored the dynamics of power, collective mentality, and some but not enough, imo re: voyeurism. Made me think of other incarceration situations..

      Reply

  14. I dispute the LRH quote where he says that ““Single men and determined groups have been the only makers of space in which man could walk free.”

    There’s been some married men who have chipped in quite marvelously on freedom-giving efforts all along the time track! And, also, plenty of women; single, married, or otherwise!

    Not wanting to cause a commotion here, I won’t get into the modern requirements to mention LGBT and the various new genders that we are being “educated” about lately. The quote is from the late 50’s, so I will cut LRH some slack on that. (wink)

    Plus, within the next few years we’re likely to find out that various SPs sabotaged all the previous book projects, and we’ll find that all LRH writings were years ahead of their time, and we’ll find the original writings finally published, and they’ll all be politically correct, gender non-specific utterances.

    Then we will all get to pulp the last revision and buy “the basics” all over again!

    I can’t wait!

    Reply

  15. Sweet baby Jesus reading that “poem” was worse than reading my 9th grade Journal of Poetry, and that thing is pretty damn bad! Well with the exception of one I wrote about a boy I had seen driving a cool Chevy truck and the only reason I like it is because I ended up married to that boy and we still have the truck! But the above poem should be a reminder to be kind to high school poetry teachers, this is the kind of junk they get to suffer through!

    Reply

  16. Join the Church of Fools and prosper no more. The vulture culture welcomes you with open claws, a pseudo smile and no where to run, except around and around to bankruptcy. Want to be even more miserable
    than you could ever imagine, guaranteed, join staff or take the big plunge, sign up for the SO and take the full brunt of the most stupid decision you’ll ever make. Insanity is the first cousin of stupidity after all, just a couple of stupid thoughts mixed up with dumb actions made repetitive, Scientology can get you there, quick as a flash. They even have dress up events to groove you in.

    Reply

  17. I still get their propaganda in the mail and its been years of it, just because my Uncle tried to get me to take the first course 20 years ago. I even watched their CD they sent me and I didn’t know whether to laugh or be creeped out by the people advertising their gains.

    Reply

  18. Women in business award. Should my Mother get is, she was a very successful business woman. She gave all of her money to Scientology.

    Reply

  19. “Highest EVERS across the boards…”

    Once again, they don’t need no stinkin’ Wog grammar! That’s just for DBs.

    Reply

    • Highest EVERS??? I thought the the Cof$ was against drugs? Well there ya go…maybe that’s why they have so many dress up, bring your own muchie nights?

      Reply

      • I have something that will mellow them out. They won’t even care about Scientology when I get done with them.

        Reply

        • You going to deliver ’em a batch of Oat Tea cupcakes then? A new special blend of Old Surfer Dude’s secret recipe. That’ll redefine their idea of crashed stats for ’em. Muster mull up at 1pm till late… for the more traditional types who are off sugar.

          Reply

  20. I certainly hope London doesn’t really have 20 “brand new public started on service every week.” My guess is that “started on service” means they came in for a tour, except I’d find even that hard to believe.

    It’s also possible my certitude about the cult having almost no new members (aside from legacy kids) is wishful thinking.

    Reply

    • costermonger, one of the things that I look for in these funnies, are periodic clues about just how much Scientology is stretching words and meanings to produce claims of counts and statistics. I’ve learned quite a bit about how to parse these claims that imply expansion, when they are actually contracting.

      I would guess that the “service” that “brand new public” started was probably just a personality test.

      I’ve also seen them apparently trying to claim each course a person is doing, as a person starting a new course – so they could have had a dozen people do personality tests, and one or two sign up for a couple more courses as well.

      “Brand new public” could also mean Scientology internal “public” new to that particular org – and again, possibly starting multiple courses.

      They also count courses that new staff members are required to do, so if they could find a way to claim those people as “public” when first doing some of that, it could count towards that stat of starts, too.

      Scientology has not merely made the truth into rubber, they have turned it into liquid latex that can be poured into any mold of their choosing.

      I’m starting to think that the CofS is going to end with one lone person at the reception desk of a huge empty building, wearing 300 “hats” (assigned job duties) and enrolled in 400 courses, claiming that their org is the first to stably achieve “St. Hill size.”

      Reply

  21. Conquer sanity? What…they only want people who are insane? They’ve already done a pretty job with that!

    Reply

  22. In the Saint Hill size newsletter, the photo of the VERY enthusiastic members..reminds me of what a Class VIII auditor told me 30 years ago. That their enthusiasm could also be “glee” which is a form of insanity.

    Reply

      • I’m a Jedi Knight myself. Make believe is fun! Scientology makes believe that it’s members can attain magical powers. Whew! These people sure do pay a lot of money for make believe powers!

        Reply

      • That photo is like a train wreck . . . cant.turn.away
        It’s also quite funny. . . are they trying to make inroads into Boston’s rather large gaming community (because of all the universities) ? Or all the sci fi fans in Boston? But sci fi and gaming don’t necessarily go together. Maybe their doing a Star Trek LARP (live action role playing) . . . but why wouldn’t they do a Battlefield Earth LARP. Honestly trying to figure out that flyer is providing some enjoyment for me.

        Reply

        • Actually that flyer is perversely fun. I’ve been gone several weeks to be with family. Put flowers on my cousin (an ex-Scientologist) grave and once again give sympathetic (and agreeing ear) to his parents, and other aunts and uncles anger at how they feel CO$ screwed him up and amplified his problems. I didn’t know about Marty until I got caught up last night and was so angry I had a hard time sleeping . . . I need the laughs

          Reply

      • I’m not able to read this link: “The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in.”

        Reply

        • If the link expired, go to Facebook and look up Steve Hall and read it that way. I wish he’d post it on Mike R’s site. It’s that good. Also I wish he’d write a book about his time in the church and his escape. Or did he already write a book? Anyone know?

          Reply

    • That’s true, livelong. People who are drunk or high can look like they’re very enthusiastic too. What they actually are in this condition is numb. Pain goes away for a while; feels good.

      Reply

  23. I am surprised they could find even four people in the Columbus Org pic. As a Buckeye, I have been following with interest the “growth” of the Columbus IO.

    In a search of scientology in the Sect. of State’s website, there are only three active scientology entities in Ohio; the Cental Cleveland Mission, the Greater Cincinnati (the building is actually located in KY) and the Cental Ohio location in Columbus. In twenty years, I don’t think they would make ‘ideal’ size in Columbus, given the lack of scientologists in Ohio as a whole.

    Couple of things I noticed:

    The representation of the Columbus Org on their individual website shows a beautiful building, grounds, fountains; a really beautiful place . The reality is a storefront on High Street. However, this location would have the potential for a lot of foot traffic from OSU srudents. Given the current view of scientology in the digital cyber world and the media, it is doubtful the Org would draw in these young people.

    There is virtually no info on the Cleveland mission, which is actually located in Parma Hts. Other than a phone number, there’s nothing else. The mission doesn’t even come up on the CoS main website when you do a Zip Code search. I did search FB for one of the listed Directors of this mission. She lists herself as ‘self-employed’, but no reference to being an auditor or anything else connected with the church. However, she does have David Minkoff as one of her FB friends.

    None of this info is earth shatteringly important. Just a few facts to illustrate the misleading nature of the CoS PR.

    Reply

  24. LA Org promo:Gavin Potter: International Keynote speakers and Officers from the Freewinds.

    At La Org they have nothing to do except write knowledge reports on each other.Oh,nearly nothing.
    Some Olga from Stalingrad or whatever shows up and they all have to come out cheering.
    Couldn’t those crusaders for World Literacy learned something from their KR writing?
    Or is the IQ of the last ones in approaching room temperature.

    Reply

    • “Everyone contributing”.

      Yep, that’s what it takes, so VERY well done, Orlando, you’re ALL contributing!

      All eleven of you.

      Reply

  25. They are now targeting people who don’t use the internet or, if they do, view nothing but “reality show” type material (illiterates).

    Reply

    • 90 % of the population uses the internet. In some form..or close
      Except for ppl living under a bridge …

      Reply

      • Shirley, not in the 3rd world. Also, in the lower class/edu levels of the USA many know nothing more than what the Kardshian’s are doing…

        Reply

    • Mike, you mean to tell me that “reality shows” are not real? Boy, did I waste a lot time.

      Reply

    • Ha ha ha! Yeah! The Cult of Scientology’s new “publics” – illiterate, dirt poor Americans or foreigners without internet, or semi literate low-brows from every socio-economic group in the world. This is funny!

      Reply

  27. Ok I write poetry, and read poetry
    Kipling he is not!!! LMAO,
    Second I think they are paying people off the street to come in and sit through that and their aren’t many,
    Mike you’re such a good man, helping people, yeah I know you were harsh to alot of people during your cult days,but you’re making up for all of that, remember to forgive yourself too!!!
    Last question who’s the Creator of Regraded being ? It’s hilarious!!!! Yingling on a string.. Bahahaha
    Take care Mike Rinder!

    Reply

    • LOL – excellent. I thought the same thing – doesn’t take much to qualify well as long as youarent porr, homeless, or disabled. Sucha lovely cherch right?

      Reply

    • You can still be a staff member if you’re a corpse. They just prop you up in a chair outside.

      Reply

      • Didn’t the French Foreign Legion avoid and hence win a battle that way once. Propped up corpses with guns under their arms on parapets and scared the enemy off. Scientology operates as a dead organisation anyway, ideal morgues is a good name.

        Reply

  29. Another poignant Thursday Funnies. And for some reason two things stand out which I believe other have mentioned but have really struck me this time:

    1) The special, private, by invitation only meetings for certain people within $cn. I grew up Catholic, went through Catholic grade school and high school, participated in many meetings, church get togethers, etc. While some were about physical items such as financial planning, etc. which were for the small group of parishioners, there were no ‘secret’ meetings just for high up church members when it came to spiritual matters. The entire public (meaning anyone who could walk in) was invited with the hope they too would become part of the congregation and ‘earn their salvation’. $cn’s philosophy is to keep the ‘real teachings and way to redemption’ contained under lock and key, that is, at least until you are so captured by the cult mentality you will give up your financial well being to continue reaching for the stars. Catholicism has some difficult to grasp ideas, I know, but these articles of faith are available for perusal prior to you joining.

    2) These charts that are presented to prove how effective a Org is (‘the stats’). These rapidly accelerating upward line graphs mean nothing without a SCALE to see what is going on. Your 12 ‘clears’ in three years, on a vertical scale of 0-100 looks very poor, but on a scale of 0-15 will be phenomenal; where do I join?

    Then I calm down when I consider this fact: These two examples would not be much discussed from 1950-1980 as information, video, newscasts, just did not have the bandwidth for people, who may have been interested in $cn, to see the fallacies. Although we all are now inundated with so much data with the Internet and 24 hour news streaming, at least people have the ability to do investigative work outside $cn first before being piled on by staff.

    I feel much better now!

    Reply

  30. What is astonishing, is that there are individuals somewhere making these promos. They have to know deep-down that what they’re putting out there is all a bunch of fluff and BS.

    I understand that they “hope” that planetary clearing will become a reality (a very noble, albeit misguided, notion). I know they may “fear” being “down stat” for the week and having “lowered conditions” and/or losing their job, berthing, meal plan, family, etc. I’m sure they want to keep their social network of friends because they provide them with their own little “comfort zone”. I get that for some, they may be “desperate” to get more money in just so they can actually afford some basic necessities.

    But at some point, after all of the PR pieces they put out there, which they just have to know is a bunch of BS they’re peddling just so they can keep people “enthused”, they have to think to themselves “What the hell is going on here?”.

    Perhaps I’m too much of a rose-tinted optimist, but I seem to be unable to accept that most of those people still-in are completely and irrevocably “brainwashed”. I believe their mentality has only been temporarily compartmentalized, and the core of who they are as a person is still in there, just tucked away and overcome by their scientology “reprogramming” at the moment. Just look at all of the individuals who were just as deep into this mindset in the past and who have come out and rediscovered who they really are as a person. They seem to be some of the most intelligent, kind-hearted, and determined individuals you will ever meet.

    There simply comes a time when a tipping point has to be reached in their minds and these individuals must realize that this “game” that they’re playing is nothing more than that……just a game. And the deck has unquestionably been stacked against them, because there is, and always has been, only one winner, the guy at the top of this entire pyramid scheme.

    I have a very hard time believing that most of them have not reached that tipping point yet, and I have to believe that most of them have come to that realization within themselves (although very quietly for obvious reasons). Unfortunately, even if that is true, they’ve also likely come to the realization that they will face severe consequences should they question anything or discuss what they must know, somewhere deep down, to be the truth and the dark reality of the fate of their “church”.

    For most any big change in life, the first step is always the hardest one to take. Those individuals who are able to access outside information (public, celebrities, whales, OSA, etc.) are now at a point where they have a choice to make. They either must take that first step to true “Total Freedom”, or keep desperately clinging on to what is now obvious to be a swiftly sinking ship full of lies.

    Reply

    • I think they stay bec they always want to know “what’s next” even though have gained nothing so far. They keep going for the dangling carrot that keeps moving away from them.

      Reply

    • Mick Roberts, I agree with everything you’ve just said; in particular with what you’ve opined in paragraph 6.

      Reply

  31. A couple whoppers in the “Narconon Trout Run” ad:

    1. Narconon Trout Run doesn’t actually exist. They were denied a permit and, last I heard, were still duking it out with the county.

    2. It says that 1 in 6 people are being treated for drug addiction. That’s saying that 55 million people in the US are currently in rehab/recovery. That’s off by at least 10x and probably closer to 50x. If 55 million people were sufficiently impaired by a drug habit, the economy would have already collapsed.

    Reply

    • Are there actually trout there? It’s got to have a use for something one can only hope.
      Your point 2 is somewhat stunning. Not very bright liars are they?

      Reply

      • $cieno math uses a lot of imaginary numbers. I suspect that actual population of $cienoLand is the square root of -1.

        Reply

  32. Where are all the new young members. Scientology is scavaging the few people still drinking the koolaid. Who wants to be in a cult that takes 30 years or half a million dollars to make it to Oat Tee 8.

    Reply

    • Obviously, Brent Grantham whose pompadour rivals that of Miscavige. Come to think of it, so does Gavin Potter. Neither should risk standing anywhere near His Royal Doofus. LOL

      Reply

      • This is possibly the real reason the Royal Doofus doesn’t hand out the awards at Int Events – not because its beneath him, but because he’s beneath them. Literally.

        Reply

      • “The Women in Business Pageant” at the Flag Land Base. Hmmm…the contestants are all attractive and appear to be under 35 years of age. Now, if Flog could see their way clear to incorporating a swimsuit competition into the pageant I’ll bet they could persuade President Trump to suspend his golfing at Mar-a-loco for a little while in order to make an appearance. All in the name of good relations with the religious and African American communities, of course.

        Reply

        • And, if per good chance he goes off on an rant about how unfair the press is to him, the staff at Flag can heartily agree, and some koolaid drinker there can get in his face and say, “Mr. President, Scientology can help you with that”.

          Reply

    • “Where are all the new young members.”

      They’re going on Google and realizing that Scientology is scam.

      Reply

    • Brent Grantham is 3rd generation of hardcore Scientologist interconnecting families of the California persuasion. He’s caught in the Grantham/Lindham/Stokes web. Quite a history there. You will find them all as current or former staff, all heavily invested in mind, spirit and wallet in the Scientology trap.

      I saw a photo of Brent holding his Purif certificate from 2014. When did Scientology management start allowing children on to the Purif as regular practice? There’s an Aftermath Episode for you. These kids’ so called success stories reveal they have intentionally been inflicted and infested with a terror of everything from water to the very air they breathe. My head, plus other parts, explode when I see these photos. There is no current medical study on the long term effects of this brutal Purif quackery on minors health, both physical and mental. If not abuse, neglect.

      Brent Grantham was Shirley Grantham’s grandson. Now Brent is just another stat on some Scientology staff’s clipboard, just another slave in the making. Wash the brain clean from imaginary monsters and pour in the toxic waste of a mad man. Siphon off the pure oxygen and joys of childhood and hole them up in a dark, cold lobby of display screens. Filter out the slideshow of family picnics and friends’ adventures to pictures of graphs and sale charts and threatening Thursdays.This IS the pure truth of it. And nobody knows that truth more than Shirley.

      Because Brent, and all the other Brents. THIS is Why.

      Reply

      • “When did Scientology management start allowing children on to the Purif as regular practice?”

        From the first day is was released to the public TheHoleDoesExist.

        Reply

    • Yes, BKmole, the graying of Scientology is progressing with no new ,young, raw public to ask annoying questions or otherwise gum up the works.

      I’m looking forward to the photos of The Sheeple in 5 -8 years, all tricked out and Spirit of Playing in their pirate and chicken costumes, on their walkers and in their wheelchairs.

      Really, I can’t wait, it will be such a hoot.

      (Btw, I’m a senior citizen so I can joke like this.)

      Reply

      • The attrition rate for seniors in Scn is high. I think in 5-8 years they will be gone. Empty halls, empty HGCs, empty course rooms.

        Reply

        • Yes, that’s true. While the rest of us are aging chronologically but staying younger and more vigorous, for Scientology’s senior citizens, “60 is the new 70, and 70 is the new 85”.

          Bad health, frequently dying in their early 60s, wassup with these upstats?

          You’d think that their upstatness would give them some ethics protection, right? But, no deal.

          And I can just hear the EOs dismissing them with a shrug, “Well, they pulled it in, somehow”.

          nd I would agree with that, but not for the reasons the EO would cook up, i.e. “OTVII not flat”, or “Didn’t get right onto OT Levels after going Clear”.

          Nah. I’d say it was that the stress of living a huge lie that was very harmful to their health.

          Simplified, I’d say the ongoing pressure and stress and anxiety of pretending to know what they don’t know, and pretending not to know what they do know are what do the Scientology senior citizens in way too early.

          My opinion.

          Reply

  33. Hahaha an anchor that floats. This reminds me of one of my Gpas jokes. I went to town and bought me a wooden whistle. Guess What? It wouldn’t whistle.

    Thanks for the funnies Mike. I hope you do some smiling today, too!

    Reply

  34. “With a career like none other YOU MAY QUALIFY”. Shouldn’t that be: “Earn a pittance like none other YOU WILL QUALIFY”? 😉

    Reply

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