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Thursday Funnies

October 19, 2017 By Mike Rinder 114 Comments

 

Africa’s Winning

Bet nobody realized that… including whoever wrote this.

And what “historic victory” are they trying to be part of? That LRHED was written about Portland in the 80’s. Seems they have a bit of a “comm lag”

 

Epic

It’s always EPIC.

And they got the Energizer Bunny or Energy Driver or something who is going to bring the lightning or something.

The only important thing – do not forget your wallet.

 

That’s a lot of stuff

Successful. Empowering. A party. Launch to Freedom and Ability. Open House. Phew…

 

Freewinds Seminarist…

Sounds vaguely vulgar. If she can make the impossible possible, why isn’t she back on the Freewinds helping them to get out of their doldrums?

 

Promoting scientology…

All these people are looking. Yeah, at their TV on Tuesday night.

 

Big pitch

To volunteer for a Haunted House??

 

Sounds Amazing

Just don’t forget to bring your credit cards. All of them.

Ideal California? There isn’t even an org in Bakersfield. Or Riverside. Or Palm Springs. Or Palmdale. Or, or, or…

 

The BBQ is the thing

It’s ALL about the food… Poor old Barbara Dews doesnt hold up to the excitement of a hot dog.

 

THE Cliff Woods?

The former Int Finance Policeman who raped and pillaged numerous missions… Yep. You can learn from the best.

 

Grammar/typo City

I guess it’s all over in Houston

 

They actually think this…

 

That photo…

OMG. I wonder if this is blackmail? Give us more money or we will publish that photo…

 

6 Years of Futility

And what sort of flourishing activity holds a “celebration” for its members and makes them bring their own food?

 

Some serious rebelliousness here…

 

It’s a tongue and cheek thing

 

The state of scientology

Really sucks in most of the world except Taiwan it seems

 

It’s a Milestone!

Dave is starting to pay for his ideal orgs whether they raise the money or not. It’s getting desperate out there.

 

Pirates of Purpose?

Seriously?

And a knife throwing contest??

 

Our Hero’s… 

These guys have a typo/stupido in a 6 word poster?

 

This is good news?

Look at these completions… they have so few they announce people who are not completed but are “on” stuff to try and pad their feebleness.

 

It’s all about the money…

 

Halloween is the perfect scientology day…

Spooky. Dark. Scary. Skeletons who have been stripped to the bone.

 

More money

They got their ideal org but they didnt get all the money from their people yet.  Let’s milk them some more.

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: funnies

Comments

  1. JBX says

    October 20, 2017 at 8:30 pm

    What’s an energy driver?

    Reply
  2. mwesten says

    October 20, 2017 at 7:30 am

    You’ll do a drill where LRH says “You can do this daily. It will make you look and act younger.”

    The drill is from the VM handbook: “Sitting somewhere near the center of a room, close your eyes and “contact” the two upper corners of the room behind you. Then, holding those corners, sit still and don’t think. Remain interested only in those two corners. You can do this for two minutes (minimum) or two hours, always with benefit. No matter what happens, simply hold the corners and don’t think.”

    Examples of results can be found at http://bit.ly/2yEjfbd, https://tinyurl.com/yayco6su and https://goo.gl/fz6nQf

    Reply
  3. secretfornow says

    October 20, 2017 at 1:51 am

    The NBS RAW game got me. I’m SO glad, SO VERY GLAD that this can mean nothing to me now. I don’t have to play that game, there is No Worry Ever at any moment in my life, as to whether or not I’ve sold any amount of books to raw public.

    I don’t have to worry about stats.

    I don’t have to do a battle plan.

    I don’t have to write up my condition.

    I don’t have to go to product conference all prepared.

    I don’t have to be to post on time.

    I don’t have to worry about any of that ever again.

    …………….

    ….think I’ll make some popcorn…………..

    Reply
  4. PeaceMaker says

    October 20, 2017 at 1:14 am

    It’s bizarre to see under the Illusions and Reality seminar, “do an exercise to make your own ideas & imagination stronger than the realities & facts in life.” That sounds to me like a recipe for self-deception and delusion, rather than just a bit of more normal positive thinking.

    And more “dissemination made easy” – talk about beating a dead horse, how many decades have they been touting that, as it actually gets harder to promote Scientology while Hubbard’s 1950s ideas get increasingly stale, and the organizations insanities and abuses are increasingly exposed? But wait, wasn’t SuMP supposed to help with that? I think that the people who were supposed to bring SuMP on line however long ago, discovered that it wasn’t so easy – and that their ideas & imagination weren’t stronger than the realities and facts of what it takes to actually run a modern broadcast facility.

    It’s very telling that their attitude about PR, is “doing good works is not enough, one must publicize it to gain cooperation or agreement.” Their Freudian slip is showing, revealing the underlying belief that the point of good works is to gain cooperation and “agreement.” Plenty of churches, organizations, and individuals do good works for the sake of doing good, and don’t believe publicity is essential. For instance, because of an old family connection, I’m aware that the Mennonites do a lot of good work everywhere, and are hard at work providing real help in Puerto Rico right now – and yet almost nothing is heard about them, because they do nothing to draw attention to themselves. Come to think of it, the Mennonite Disaster Service almost certainly a relatively larger relief force than Scientology’s Volunteer Ministers. Mennonite volunteers are still at work providing needed help with rebuilding efforts from the almost forgotten weather disasters of years ago.

    It’s interesting to see Boston even making a showing. I’ve seen reports that they could once get 200 to 300 people at events, but when I looked up the venue they’re using for this, it’s maximum capacity is 100 – 150. They are one of the orgs that seems to have foundered and broken up over a tortuous, excruciatingly drawn out attempt to go “ideal” – that included selling a beautiful long-term home on Beacon Hill near where this event is being held, and ending up stuck in what was supposed to be short-term rented space. It’s indeed still a mystery as to whether they can actually complete a deal to sell the white elephant historic property that they got stuck with on their first attempt to go “ideal,” and have enough money left to renovate the newer property that they have now been sitting on for a couple of years. I see that that haven’t posted anything to their Facebook page in over three months, and a search doesn’t turn up much about any current activity, which tend to be signs of orgs that are down to a small number of staff and public probably just in the dozens, and struggling just to keep the lights on and the doors open. And they are in one of the country’s largest metropolitan areas, with a high concentration of colleges and universities, and a lot of high tech and service industry growth.

    Reply
  5. Gloria Anima says

    October 20, 2017 at 12:18 am

    What do all these vague posters mean anyway. Surly they are not targeted for never ins. What a bunch of convoluted crap. I didn’t even make it to the end it was so meaningless.

    Reply
  6. Teen says

    October 19, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    My needle just did a rock slam…

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      October 20, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      You are in SO much trouble.

      Reply
  7. Kronomex says

    October 19, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    “It’s time for Africa!”
    “To what?”
    “It’s time for Africa to start forking over their cash of course!”
    “Oohh…can I leave out the exclamation point?”
    “Gasp! You must put it in or I shall have to write you up!
    “Sigh…I mean…Oohh!!”

    EPIC – Excremental Profiteering Insufferable Crap.

    Walk in the door of any $camology building and you will be haunted, or is that hounded, forever and ever and…

    All the rest of the flyers, etc, rate the usual yawn.

    Reply
  8. TashaJ22 says

    October 19, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Thanks for the Thursday funnies! Two questions:

    1. Did L.Ron Hubbard have any official stance on holidays? I see a lot of Halloween fliers – do Scientologists usually celebrate all the holidays?

    2. Is anyone else having difficulties posting replies, or is it just me? (I think it’s just me) I am using Windows 10, Chrome browser, any suggestions for getting my replies to show up under the post I am responding too, instead of at the top?

    TashaJ22

    Reply
  9. John P. Capitalist says

    October 19, 2017 at 6:51 pm

    Turns out that the 2016 Australian census data came out recently. Tony Ortega mentioned in a post yesterday that the number of Scientologists in Australia dropped by 21% in the last five years, from 2,163 to 1,684. I did some more work on the detailed data, particularly looking at the number of non-citizens in that 1,684, which is a reasonable proxy for staff members brought in from other countries. Turns out that the number of Australian citizens who are Scientologists dropped by 23% in the last 5 years.

    And they’re looking at putting together an Ideal Org in Perth. In all of Western Australia, there are just 195 people who consider themselves Scientologists. Most of them are in the Perth metro area, with only 16 outside it. Yeah, that makes almost as much sense as opening a new Ideal Org in Dublin, when Ireland has a grand total of 90 Scientologists per their most recent census, and only about 30 people who actually come in and do anything.

    Reply
    • Jens TINGLEFF says

      October 20, 2017 at 1:55 am

      at 150 – 200 staff members per idle mOrgue, that’s all about to get a little different.

      Reply
  10. hgc10 says

    October 19, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    Cliff Woods, holy Xenu, what a cretinous creep. Find the ruin on anyone, everytime [sic]? This guy is teaching up-and-coming bloodsucking ghouls how to probe trusting people and find out how to make them feel bad enough about themselves to turn over their money. Or, I should say, how to turn their heads so that you can get your teeth into their necks.

    Reply
  11. Sharlene Prosk says

    October 19, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    O. T. Up to 8
    Question
    Does O.T. Have a name
    My Knowledge of O.T. Is
    Old Testament..

    Reply
    • W Dunn says

      October 19, 2017 at 7:58 pm

      O.T. stands for Operating Thetan levels. On the Bridge in Scientology there are 8 levels of Operating Thetan. From 1-8 , the numbers represents religious knowledge/achievement/ personal achievement which is done through auditing and an e meter. Often requiring many auditing sessions and necessary study materials. This is referred to as tech in Scientology. Together it generally costs $500,000 dollars to achieve OT8 level and hundreds of hours of auditing and thousand hours of study.

      Reply
      • Peter Norton says

        October 19, 2017 at 8:50 pm

        And that study gives you information and knowledge which is unusable in the real world. But their certificates are pretty. LOL

        Reply
        • I Yawnalot says

          October 20, 2017 at 2:14 am

          And don’t forget DMs lifestyle requires a consistent flow of huge amounts of money, otherwise Tom just might feel a little betrayed.

          Reply
  12. Bonnie Johnson says

    October 19, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    It’s a shame that when people are being drawn in with $100 free gifts and pot luck dinners there isn’t someone there to show them this video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq47tYwgZSQ

    Reply
  13. Amy Flynn says

    October 19, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    I don’t know how Scientology can be called a church.. a religion. You are charged for “ religious help”! How much per session? That’s the same thing as the Catholic Church charging each parishioner for the Eucharistic Wafer!!

    Reply
    • Lilsky says

      October 19, 2017 at 10:01 pm

      Except the koolaid is far more expensive.

      Reply
  14. Harpoona Frittata says

    October 19, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Fire up the Way Back Machine, ‘cos it’s time for another blast from the past!

    I like to keep loose tabs on the few remaining OG Sacramento $cilons that I used to hang with way back in the mid to late 70’s, when being a $cilon at an outer org was still pretty fun and $cilon girls were oh so easy 😉

    Take a look at the Sac Org Oatee Committee flyer, touting all the incredibly epic wins of folks connected to this powerhouse org . Now, scan down to the second paragraph, where the folks who’re currently on the Stud Hat are named and you’ll note that among the lucky thetans who’re learning how to study is one Cyndee Plasket, who was there with her hubby, Gary, when I was learning how to be a 100% flubless Dn auditor, all those many years ago.

    Cyndee was a course supervisor back then and must have completed the Stud Hat sometime before then, so can someone please tell me WTF is happening here? We’re in the year 2017, which is just about four decades (that’s 40 years!) after she completed the same course for the first time!

    One wonders: Was she snatched by aliens and only recently returned by them to Teegeeack? Did she have an unfortunate accident which left her in a coma for all those years, until finally waking up from it only recently? Was she caught doing the wild thing with her lesbian lover, then stripped of all her certs and required to retread the entire training side of the bridge? What could possibly account for her, now, in 2017, being further down on the training side of the bridge then when I knew her, some 40 years ago!!?

    We may never know, but it sure does make you wonder what all those years in $cn, and all that money spent on cult activities add up to, if you just end up further away from your goal the longer that you’re a Scilon!

    Reply
    • jim says

      October 19, 2017 at 10:09 pm

      Harpoona,

      To which they might reply………… number of times through the materials equals certainty. Equally, overrun produces a sad effect (apathy).

      Personally, from the 1970’s onward, I told them thus: I went to college and got a degree. THEY never said my degree was no longer valid, thus I would re-do Levels 0-4 only if given for free. End of discussion.

      Being employed and employable kept me from ever thinking that I could only make it as an org auditor.

      Reply
    • Snake Thompson's Ghost says

      October 19, 2017 at 11:23 pm

      Sounds like you had already earned your “Stud Hat” at the Sacramento Org “way back in the mid to late 70s!” 🙂

      Reply
  15. I Yawnalot says

    October 19, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    What tickled me this week, ‘find the key to successfully finding people’s ruins.”
    Geezer’s that’s a misnomer of a sentence, join Scientology and they’ll ruin you quicker and more effectively than you can ever do it yourself.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      October 19, 2017 at 7:17 pm

      I admit, I do have a ruin: exceptional red wine.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        October 19, 2017 at 8:12 pm

        That’s not a ruin in my book Dude.

        Reply
      • Harpoona Frittata says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:08 pm

        When they find my ruin, I hope they’ll be courteous enough to make sure I get it back!

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          October 19, 2017 at 9:55 pm

          🙂

          Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 19, 2017 at 11:56 pm

          Oh! My bad! I’ve been holding it for you.

          Reply
        • Joe Pendleton says

          October 20, 2017 at 4:02 am

          I found my own ruin near Naples last year … Pompei !!!!!!

          Reply
        • Badafuco says

          October 20, 2017 at 4:23 am

          They told me if I started my Life Repair we would find my ruin. I was 13 years old! How much repairing did I need at that age. And, how the hell would they know what my ruin is if I hadn’t even been ruined yet?

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 20, 2017 at 11:42 am

            That’s Scientology!

            Reply
    • Lilsky says

      October 19, 2017 at 10:11 pm

      When I saw that, all I could think is that if they don’t find one, they will create one (or more).

      Reply
  16. Aquamarine says

    October 19, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    Six years as an Ideal M’Org and celebrating this they can’t even afford to feed their guests. I’m betting their public is tapped out too and the pot luck toted to this thing will be long on cheap starch and sugar and way short on green veggies and protein.

    Reply
  17. Aquamarine says

    October 19, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    Off Topic: Inspiring quote:

    “Live like you’ll die tomorrow, work like you don’t need the money, and dance like nobody’s watching”

    -Bob Fosse.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      October 19, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      Truer words were never spoken.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 19, 2017 at 8:55 pm

        You like this quote, OSD? It always gives me a lift. Plus I’m a huge Fosse fan.

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 19, 2017 at 11:57 pm

          Me too!

          Reply
    • Peter Norton says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:55 pm

      He lived it, too. Marvelous talent.

      Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      October 20, 2017 at 2:27 am

      Just add alcohol and that’s me!
      Nice quote Aqua

      Reply
  18. Doug Parent says

    October 19, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    Bring a dish to share at the pot luck. And maybe a VHS copy of Saturday Night Fever and Top Gun. And maybe Battlefield Earth. Then after eating our sandwich tray (that you buy for us from Costco) we will sit around reminiscing about the good old days before half our staff and public were declared and we could afford Air Conditioning and toilet paper. Much Love.

    Reply
    • #1 Son says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:32 pm

      AMEN!

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        October 20, 2017 at 11:46 am

        Shouldn’t that be A man. A men just doesn’t make sense.

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 20, 2017 at 2:57 pm

          My bad. It’s a religious term.

          Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:56 pm

      🙂

      Reply
    • Peter Norton says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:59 pm

      You ACTUALLY were in an org which had TOILET PAPER????? Back in the mid 60s through 70s, anytime I visited an org I brought a roll of toilet paper. It NEVER failed to be needed!

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 19, 2017 at 10:01 pm

        OMG, Peter, I used to bring my own TP also! When I was doing a course and at the org a lot, I carried a large purse and always had a roll in there. Sometimes I’d get curious looks if I was in a store, rummaging thru my bag to find my wallet or credit cards…:)

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          October 19, 2017 at 10:04 pm

          And this was in the 80s, 90s and early aughts, so apparently orgs were still TP Free Zones.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 20, 2017 at 11:47 am

            Once again, that’s Scientology!

            Reply
  19. Aquamarine says

    October 19, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    What’s with the rectangular charcoal colored smudges on the cheeks of this Missouri Org rebel man and woman? Is this a Southern Civil War Rebel thing? Or are they face painting to dramatize the Ancient Picts?

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      October 19, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      Got something to do with football doesn’t it? I’ve seen those marks on the faces under the helmets. Probably has something to do with eliminating glare. Why those two would do that… well, why does a Scientologist do anything?

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:12 pm

        Oh, right! Football. Yes, I ‘ve seen those on those players sometimes. But WTF…but then,as you said, “why does a Scientologist do anything?” 🙂

        I mean, have you ever seen a more unappealing, ridiculous- looking collection of older adults?

        Not only are they being milked for every dime they have,, but they’ve thrown to the winds all poise and charm…this is not “spirit of play” – they’re just purposefully making themselves stupid looking and ugly. Spirit of Play…God. How Miscavige must laugh at them over his nightly scotch.

        Reply
    • W Dunn says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      In football, players use blackout anti glare so that the ball is easy to be seen when in very sunny or highly lit night games. Other sports use it as well. Since the couple are wearing the name of a Kansas City professional team in the NFL, I assume it is blackout anti glare on their cheeks.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 19, 2017 at 10:06 pm

        Thanks, W Dunn.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          October 19, 2017 at 10:11 pm

          If I were ever invited again to a Scientology Fundraising event where I have to wear a costume, , I’ll go in a monk’s habit with a garlic clove necklace and carrying a wooden cross.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 20, 2017 at 11:49 am

            I’ll come with a torch & a pitchfork…

            Reply
    • cs says

      October 19, 2017 at 8:27 pm

      They’re trying to look like football players. The black streaks supposedly reduce glare when you’re out in the field under the hot sun. I don’t know if it works. No one in the US does this except for football players. It’s basically part of the uniform and tradition at this point. It doesn’t mean anything more than that.

      Reply
  20. WhatAreYourCrimes says

    October 19, 2017 at 2:30 pm

    I wonder if the Edmonton Pirate party will crack double digits in attendance. Aiming for ten or more people is a lofty goal, even by scientology standards.

    Reply
  21. T-Marie says

    October 19, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    New Orleans and Baton Rouge missions…I guess because they’re officially still open, barely.

    Reply
  22. Sandrine Suppressive HotDog says

    October 19, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    The copyright list at the bottom of the page always makes me wonder why the religions didn’t have a copyright on “god”, “jesus”, “virgin “… Those scientologists really know how to run a business. Soon they’ll do it with you Mike Rinder, you won’t be able to use your own name. It happened here in France…

    Reply
  23. Mark Granger says

    October 19, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    The real winner of the books game is eBay. I bought all 16 of the Ron series for $49 shipped. There are tons (literally) more for sale. eBay sales of Scientology books must dwarf the entire world wide sales of all the orgs combined. That’s easy to do when you offer books in brand new condition for just pennies on the dollar.

    OK you are wondering why I would buy the Ron series? They are lovely to flip through. Something crazy on every page. None of the authors names are disclosed. Total propaganda and a wonderful artifact of this “religion” that will soon become only a historical footnote.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      October 19, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      The “author” is Dan Sherman. Every word of frothy foolishness.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        October 19, 2017 at 7:21 pm

        Frothy Foolishness…does that come with cherry?

        Reply
        • I Yawnalot says

          October 19, 2017 at 8:15 pm

          Or a warning label?

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 19, 2017 at 11:59 pm

            Or both?

            Reply
    • Cindy says

      October 19, 2017 at 3:30 pm

      Mark, I’m selling my Les Dane books, “Big League Sales Closing Techniques” and “Surefire Sales Closing Techniques” both are the same book. The latter was first and when it went to reprint he changed the title to the former. Want to buy them? They’re valuable within the cult cuz everyone wants them. But I’d sell them to you too if you want.

      Reply
    • Idle Morgue says

      October 19, 2017 at 3:30 pm

      Mark Granger –

      Heh – did you get the “Ron the Nut” series? ?

      Fascinating stuff!!!!!!!!! ?

      What about the “Ron the Con” series??

      It is EPIC!! ?!!!!!!!!!

      How’s about the “Ron the CRIM ” series? ?

      Mind.Blown !!!!!!!

      Let’s not forgot “Ron and the Suppressive Semi-Colon”?

      And the story on how “See Oh Bee” ? Uncovered it?

      And shattered it – termidely!!!!!! ?

      His stats – straight up and vertical – baby ?!!

      Reply
      • Peter Norton says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:03 pm

        Just consider that “vertical” has TWO ends and DM has chosen the wrong one.

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 20, 2017 at 2:59 pm

        LOLOL, Idle!

        Reply
  24. Murray Luther says

    October 19, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    I must admit that the COS, with all of their buildings, does create an impressive illusion of expansion. Now if only David Copperfield would step in and make those buildings disappear.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      October 19, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      Or make the people they need appear 🙂

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        October 19, 2017 at 6:43 pm

        Cardboard cut-outs might help.

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 19, 2017 at 7:23 pm

          I was a cardboard cut out once. But people kept walking all over me. That ruined my self esteem.

          Reply
          • I Yawnalot says

            October 19, 2017 at 8:20 pm

            Didn’t anyone ever tell you to stand up? Then again, perhaps yours didn’t have ears.

            Reply
            • Old Surfer Dude says

              October 20, 2017 at 11:52 am

              You try standing up when you’re cardboard cutout! The least little breeze puts me on my ass.

              Reply
  25. Bonnie Johnson says

    October 19, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    I love that third poster it says: “Unique desirable Source [[gifts]] for $100 contribution”. Webster’s dictionary: “#2…. Gift: “Something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without [[compensation]]. Nuf said.

    The 28 Sept. 2017 Christina Wysocki thing. I live in the greater Houston area and watched many, many MANY hrs. of news footage about the flood. As a matter of fact the news stations in Houston had nothing but that on for at least 2 or 3 days and it’s odd I never saw anything about the CoS doing anything.

    Reply
  26. CO$ Money Doc says

    October 19, 2017 at 11:50 am

    “16x power FSM”??!! Gawd, enough with the pseudo-exponential nonsense! What does this even mean? Sounds like they’re describing a telephoto lens. Is he 16x, what, taller, wider, gassier, more obnoxious than your typical obnoxious FSM? There’s never ANY contextual baseline, datum, point of origin, X-Y graph coordinates – nothing – in Scn’s supposed “performance” pronouncements, rendering them nothing more than meaningless drivel. And will someone please get those idiots in KC a map ffs! Mt. Rushmore is in the Black Hills of South Dakota! My mom was a South Dakotan, and this ignorant coopting gets my goat every single time I see this! Lastly, is offering a package on how to effective execute Public Relations the height of irony? Physician, heal thyself comes to mind…

    Reply
    • Bruce Ploetz says

      October 19, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      16 times Power FSM means he lied convincingly enough to be awarded the status of Power FSM sixteen times. No math involved. To be a Power FSM you have to successfully talk a whole bunch of folks into mortgaging their houses and maxing out their credit cards to pay for Scientology stuff, and rake in the commissions. Enough that the powers that be award you the condition of Power. It all makes sense if you don’t think about it.

      Reply
      • CO$ Money Doc says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:17 pm

        Bruce, the irony being its so f’ing bizarre, it makes Scn to all the more interesting to contemplate! Thanks for this!

        Reply
        • Joe Pendleton says

          October 20, 2017 at 4:10 am

          Money, I think they’re using Mt. Rushmore because of the FOUNDING humanitarian angle … They probably don’t know that Lincoln and TR were not founding fathers .

          Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      October 19, 2017 at 7:53 pm

      I6 might refer to IQ maybe or 16X is the amount of times he’s done the OCA and finally learned to answer the questions so as to get the line above the centre. But FSM certainly classifies and is indicative that the recipient of such a designation is a thief.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:33 pm

        Or maybe its a remake of that old Tennesse Ernie Ford song, “Sixteen Tons”.

        I went sixteen times and what did they get?
        So many years older and deeper in debt.
        Oh Davy please be nice to me ’cause well you know
        You got my soul, I’m forever your ho.

        Reply
        • Cece says

          October 20, 2017 at 9:13 am

          🙂

          Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 20, 2017 at 11:55 am

          Aqua, it’s, Another year older & deeper in debt.

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            October 20, 2017 at 3:01 pm

            Right 🙂 Thanks, OSD.

            Reply
  27. hgc10 says

    October 19, 2017 at 11:50 am

    I can teach that Dissemination Made Easy course, right here in the comments section.

    THE FIRST REQUISITE when you tell people about Scientology: Spike their drink with LSD.

    THE FIRST APPROACH when communicating Scientology to someone: Don’t mention the world “Scientology” until after the LSD has kicked in.

    WHY YOU HAVE TROUBLE in trying to tell people about Scientology and the remedy for that trouble: Scientology is a by-word in our culture for insane cult, and you are deeply embarrassed to let wogs know that you are in it. The remedy involves self-hypnosis and the shedding of normal inhibitions against shameful behavior.

    THE POINT OF ENTRANCE on getting a person to understand what Scientology is all about: Instruct them to turn around and bend over. There’s the point of entrance.

    Reply
    • bixntram says

      October 19, 2017 at 2:20 pm

      Hgc10, LSD is not good for this (I know; I took a lot of it way back when). Doors of Perception and all that. Better: those date rape drugs, whatever they’re labeled. Failing that: good old nembutal from an earlier era, quaaludes from the ’70’s, or hell, just get them liquored up.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        October 19, 2017 at 8:10 pm

        Can sure see you’ve earned your stripes. Vodka is a real gem in the right hands but it can also end up very messy and often getting a slap in the chops is the price you pay. Oh geezers, how life has changed. The parties of the 70s… pre alcohol breath testing… ohhhh boy!

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      October 19, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      “WHY YOU HAVE TROUBLE in trying to tell people about Scientology…”

      You mean, aside from the fact that they recoil in shock and horror?”

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        October 19, 2017 at 9:55 pm

        Be like telling people you shoot kangaroos or deer for a living. It’ll pretty much mute any conversation hey?

        Reply
  28. Alcoboy says

    October 19, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Okay, on the Freewinds, one guy completed an ‘auditing program’ and some lady completed her objectives.
    Isn’t the primary purpose of the Freewinds to deliver OT8?

    Reply
  29. Razz says

    October 19, 2017 at 11:30 am

    Money, money, money. Don’t forget to bring your credit cards. Oh and free gifts for a hundred dollar donation. What a crock perpetrated by the church of scamology. How pathetic they are. This has nothing to do with religion or helping your fellow man. Just see how much money they can get out of people. Disgusting. Do they not see important people in the church disappearing. Where is Shelly M? Still no answer there.

    Reply
  30. Wynski says

    October 19, 2017 at 11:10 am

    Ya know ONE unadulterated FACT always shuts down a Ronbot. No matter how many Oat Tea levels and “wins” from them are obtained, the recipients can NEVER list and show, ANY objective ability gained that the average “wog” doesn’t also posses. DESPITE the Grade Chart being FILLED with “objective abilities gained” that ARE more than the average person has.

    Now people, why would that be?

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      October 19, 2017 at 2:35 pm

      Ummm….because there’s no such thing as Super Powers? There never have been Super Powers. There never will be either. It’s just all make believe. But, hey, I’m still a Jedi Knight! For those of you that are still in, May The Farce Be With You!

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        October 19, 2017 at 6:59 pm

        Aww gee… you mean the theta universe has expired? Quick put another quarter in the slot!

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          October 19, 2017 at 9:47 pm

          Your’e all so inspiring tonite. I’m feeling romantic, so with an apology to Rogers & Hammerstein:

          We could make believe
          I’m Oat Tee
          Only make believe
          You’re Oat Tee too,
          Others find peace of mind In pretending –
          Couldn’t you? Couldn’t I? Couldn’t we?

          More later. This is a work in progress.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 20, 2017 at 11:59 am

            C’mon, Aquamarine! Let’s pretend we’re both Jedi Knights! It’ll be fun! And we won’t have to pay for it.

            Reply
            • Aquamarine says

              October 20, 2017 at 3:26 pm

              OSD, please stay on topic. This is a blog for Suppressive Ex-Scientologists and their Enablers. There are plenty of Jedi Knight blogs for your other whims and caprices. And besides, who said anything about paying? We can all go OT Free on the internet now, remember? 🙂

              But until then:

              We could make believe
              We’re Oat Tee
              Only make believe
              We’re Oat Tee Three
              Others find
              Peace of mind
              In pretending –
              Couldn’t you – couldn’t I – couldn’t we

              Make believe we’re in volcanos
              ‘Sploding into ten billion Bee Tees
              Might as well make believe ’bout Xenu,
              For to tell the truth
              We do.

              Reply
          • I Yawnalot says

            October 20, 2017 at 12:12 pm

            Very good. Operating in Scioland eventually makes you realise it’s all make believe and coming to realise the truth of it is similar in nature to where a three year old first suffers the indignation and compete unacceptance of having their ice cream fall out of the cone and splat on the ground. Complete and utter disbelief prevails mixed with sheer terror.
            Oh, the comedy and tragedy of it all!

            Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          October 20, 2017 at 12:03 am

          Damn! Let me put some quarters in the slot. Are you feelin’ it?

          Reply
          • I Yawnalot says

            October 20, 2017 at 12:22 pm

            Hubbard said you can’t as-is the truth. Perhaps that’s why he lied so much. Geezers, didn’t he accumulate a BIG stack of quarters tho?

            Reply
            • Old Surfer Dude says

              October 20, 2017 at 8:07 pm

              The biggest in the world…

              Reply
  31. Golden-Era Parachute says

    October 19, 2017 at 10:39 am

    More money, ‘more or less’, hidden behind a facade of social justice. Sums up this list of good people working for financial predators. ED and above push the financial stats. FSMs go whale hunting. Reg’s do the verbal harassment while you’re uptone with the org. #MoreOrLess

    Reply
  32. Sarita Shoemaker says

    October 19, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Cliff Woods was my twin in Messenger TRs. He hit me with the newspaper in the head over and over and over until I could keep my TRs in.

    If you know him: he is a BIG man and I was a 15 year old kid.

    All so I could HOPEFULLY become an M on D and serve L. Ron Hubbard personally. I dreamed of filling out the M on D logs and planned to be the best Messenger ever.

    Reply
    • Golden-Era Parachute says

      October 19, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Sorry to hear that you were a victim Sarita. I detest violence of any kind, but especially violence against a child.

      Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      October 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      Sarita, did you ever get the urge to slap the shit out of the guy who was hitting you with the newspaper? I know you were just 15, but that would have been classic!

      Reply
    • Idle Morgue says

      October 19, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      Poor old Cliff Woods ?

      I am afraid that he dons Permanent Purple koolaid stains on his ? Mouth

      That old $cientologist will, unfortunately, sink …..with the $cientological ? Ship!!

      ?

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        October 19, 2017 at 7:27 pm

        Is it still woman & children first? Or did the dwarf take over the ship?

        Reply
        • Bonnie Johnson says

          October 19, 2017 at 10:05 pm

          ROFL, You know the reason DM hangs out with Cruise is if you hang out with short people you don’t look so short! LMAO

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            October 20, 2017 at 3:01 pm

            I wonder who carries around the peach box that the dwarf uses.

            Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            October 20, 2017 at 3:36 pm

            That’s true. And all the people in his movies are usually short including his leading ladies – Renee Zellweiger, Penelope Cruz.. I guess he made an exception with Nicole Kidman because he was in love with her.

            Reply
            • Cindy says

              October 21, 2017 at 3:59 am

              After Tom and Nichole divorced, she was on the Tonight Show and told Jay Leno she was relieved because now she can wear heels again.

              Reply
    • Spike says

      October 19, 2017 at 7:46 pm

      Sarita, what is an M on D? Messenger on Duty?

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        October 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm

        Madman on Drugs? Hey! I took a shot!

        Reply
        • Spike says

          October 20, 2017 at 8:03 pm

          OSD, you’re on fire tonight!

          Reply

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