All you know from this poster is they will be asking for money…
The point being?
Give us your money of course.
Better off sticking with the first 5 words
After that, it’s just about taking your money.
It’s vitally important news
You need to give us more money.
Not so much…
But REALLY concerned about whether downtown Clearwater has any future at all
How to be unstoppable
Brought to you by the people who cannot get anyone to come to their ship even though it’s the only place in the universe where the first “real” OT level is available (unless of course the lucky thetans on Target 2 already have an ideal org…)
That’s very sad
He paid good money to run his 77 year old body around a pole all day.
Administrative Masters of the Universe
By Popular Demand?
Wonder how they define that…. You can bet the crowds will be flooding in.
Nothing is free, they want you to pay them money.
Book Yout Tickt now
You can have a camera…
Still going on the files…
Wow, that’s a good reason to give money. Ortega chili company is from Ventura.
They are apparently serious about this.
Seems to be a trend started with Orlando. Unfortunately, Venture doesn’t have much to offer.
And I guess the affluent community of Santa Barbara is no longer going to have an org at all?
I apparently seemed to always have a “button” on the following statements made directly to me:
“You NEED to……”
“You have to…..”
I always seem to have a mental same question to these statements…….
1. how do you KNOW I …. (need,should, have to, etc)?
2. Are you exhibiting my life in some fashion, and know my thoughts of my own needs, and wants, and shoulds, and musts?
on a side note, I wish they would stop “movie degrading” good movies, for their own “advertisements” and promos….. to quote “hook” -> “It’s bad form”.
Jane Dough says
The Freewinds “How to be unstoppable,” seminar is being done by the Senior Service Consultant. Isn’t that the same as Registrar?
Sounds like it to me. Jane D
dungeon master says
I’m SO glad they were able to get some more use of that S.H.E.I.L.D. helocarrier! (Ventura Org bldg)
(I am not confident that link/picture will work.)
Link works, showing a Helicarrier. If it would be a Sea Org carrier it would be called a HELLicarrier;-)
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That second flier almost had me choking with laughter. In Australia “pulling” (depending on your frame of mind at the time) has a whole different meaning so seeing “Pulling Together” got the desired reaction from me.
“Know who you can trust” –
Read “Can you tell the difference?” then go up to the previous paragraph and you just know that $camology is the completely untrustworthy fifth person who will rip off anyone off and vanish their money that they warn you about. Rather self-defeating flier when all is considered.
“Master Chef Night” – if you are going to make a dish then it should read “Master Potter Night”.
Perth Central Files – (pardon the French) Oh, for fucks sake! Their levels of childishness are reaching new lows in drivel.
That’s a really nice camera, too. If the 5D and L-series lens (24-105? 24-70?) belongs to the staff member, she must have owned it before joining staff. No way she could buy it on staff pay.
It’s also interesting that someone Photoshopped out the lens marking, but left all the Canon logos intact on the body and strap.
It belongs to security. Gotta have good pics of SPs!
I doubt staff would have anything nice left, that they hadn’t sold off. Scientology media staff must have some very nice equipment, and I recall seeing that they had supplied each org with a camera setup and even training so that they could be sure to get good photos should any PR opportunity arise, like a convenient disaster to roll the VM van and a couple of people in yellow shirts out to.
I wonder if there’s a chance that it’s some sort of special, customized lens for the distorted shots they take to make the crowds at their events look larger?
In Scientology you can have it all… except for a repayment. And you also can’t have the truth because you can’t handle it until you do OTVIII, all three L’s, and reach the level of IAS Patron Doormat. We in Scientology need everything you have in order to achieve Planetary Clearing. Factually, as shown by actual survey, you can have virtually nothing in Scientology. A slice of pizza per 50 hours of work in CF. This is why the Havingness of Scientologists is so low. We just say “you can have it all” as it sounds good.
Thanks Dave. All I want to have is your head on a pike.
+1000 to that.
Computer Guy says
“IAS Patron doormat”. That is hysterical AND true. ?
Flunk LRH ?
J & D ing works and brings the tans up tone ?
Haha, you can be given a camera to photograph all the SP’s for us!
I’m not going to knock Perth because, IMHO, I don’t think ANY org is able to keep its CF in present time. It seems like every time I read Thursday Funnies, there is some promo piece about getting some org’s CF in present time. I guess these orgs can’t train a competent enough CF Officer to handle things correctly.
And now, I would like to dedicate this song to David Miscavige:
“I love The Leader, The Leader is love!
When I’m not near him I feel like a shlub!
I love The Leader, The Leader is love!
When I’m not near him I feel like a shlub!”
My recollection is that all the promo pieces have been about getting the orgs’ CF in proper shape for their “ideal” facility opening, as apparently everything is supposed to be ship-shape by the time that happens. But in the case of Perth, and also Orlando, they failed to get that done, and so are still at work at it even after the opening.
That every org’s CF have apparently been left to pile up for years, does show that the orgs seem to be consistently unable to keep up with them.
I have hope that once the idle org opens they’ll be able to keep up due to the hard crash in stats. No courses to record, no new contacts…it ought to be easy to keep up now!
Computer Guy says
((((((((Attention )))))))) all $cientology mORGues
Come to PT
You are stuck in an incident of long duration. ?
Fighting battles no one but L Ron the Con Hubbard & David Miscavige understands !
They ($) might have JT’s permission to use those images to hawk the Perth Files Project, but do Harvey Keitel, Uma Thurman, and Samuel Jackson want to be associated with/give their endorsement to – the Cult? It’s clear that this is the closest they ($) are going to get to an actual testimonial from JT, but does He have the advertising rights to this film? Further, I doubt Steven Spielberg would be very pleased to know that Indiana Jones is being shown as a proponent of the Cult (he fought the Nazis, didn’t he?) Some enterprising individual would do well to start taking inventory of these trespasses, reach out to the associated copyright holders, and propose/organize a class action suit comprising any/all individuals being presented as supporters without their express permission. $ should not be allowed to continue getting away with false advertising, misrepresentation and (in My opinion) character assassination. Nail them!
I don’t think anyone gives a damn – it’s free advertising.
Good points you make, Marne! And that pic of John Travolta in the ad is creepy looking. How can that be good for business?
Nah Marne, it is fair use.
If they can’t do it, then neither can we (the good guys). I am grateful to be able to see all of the “copyright” trash produced by scientology all over the internet to get it the ridicule it so richly deserves.
I Yawnalot says
It truly is the Church of Stupid. I don’t know what else to say.
Old Surfer Dude says
How about the, Church of the Super Stupid.
Peggy L says
LOL, and you said it in 25 words or less!
Jere Lull (37 years recovering) says
TRUST! This week’s equivalent to OBEY! That poster of couse is leading the viewer to trust Scientology! Where all that list of bad things will happen to you. BUT of course it’s all for a good cause: Your total enslavement.
David Bates says
I always thought that brunch was supposed to be a breakfast /lunch time meal. But in Clearwater I guess midnight is the proper time?? Then we go to England. Yrs,land of fish and chips and best jive band alive. Oh pardon, we are serving some kind of foreign food and Iraqi jazz music? These things get weirder each week. Not to mention the mystery location to be announced ones.
London is a global hub of multiculturalism. Nothing in this city is considered “foreign”. The event is to celebrate the end of Ramadan…so more likely it’s an NOI lovefest/fundraiser. Hosted by a “church” that claims Islam is nothing but the deluded ramblings of a common thief, implanted by ancient space fascists as a form of enslavement.
The NATION of ISLAM, a religion which scripturally has nothing whatsoever to do with Islam,
The CHURCH of SCIENTOLOGY, a “church” which preaches that Christianity is a mental implant caused by extra-terrestrials eons ago and that Jesus Christ never existed.
Need we wonder why these are attracted to one another. FOS birds of a feather flock together.
No insult to birds intended.
The fact the Co$ believes Christianity is an implant doesn’t bother me at all. It’s that they lie about it. The hypocrisy and deception inherent in holding these religious themed events, whilst the all-knowing OTs chuckle to themselves in the background, is truly abhorrent.
Yes, exactly, mwesten, Its not the beliefs, its the lying about the beliefs. The cynical positioning of themselves with the world’s two most popular religions, NOI with Islam and CO$ with Christianity, for marketing purposes only. Deceitful and vile. Slinging some Scientologese, here, its no wonder NOI and CO$ “have an affinity for one another” That’s no accident.
The double standard is the most baffling. The NOI are clearly entrenched with the Co$ yet its members continue their antisemitic, racist rhetoric with seeming impunity. Does Freedom Medal winner Tony Muhummad or Power FSM Rizza Islam get hauled into Ethics for publishing their “out PR” jew-hating, black separatist conspiracy theories? Where the eff are their Non Enturb orders? Are they shown the references on “mixing practices”? Are NOI dianetics groups licensed via IHELP and do they pay their commissions like everyone else?
It’s safe to assume the rules are bent for the purposes of money and influence, but whatever happened to “the most ethical group on the planet”? I wish $cn celebs were asked about the NOI’s involvement and how they reconcile NOI statements with Hub’s fluffy PR beliefs.
Also, it would be great to see how Leah and Mike dissect this d/alliance on a future episode of Aftermath…! ?
“…amazing…that the people writing that…don’t see the irony.”
No worries. They see the irony, alright! They understand all too well what bullshit they’re spouting.
Jane Dough says
“This is not for you” ad, is like the LRH question, “Do you still beat your wife?”
This ad sounds like reverse ser-fac psychology.
Jane Dough says
Wow! For the next 7 Saturdays, you are told to keep these dates free for org events, even though they have not been fully finalized? Or else what…you will receive a KR because you knew about the events in advance? This is far too much control over your free time, choice, and self determination.
A few years ago, you’d get a KR for going to personal engagements over an org event and accused of being a dilettante, middle class PTS, other fish to fry, off purpose, POS. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse than that…
So true Ms Dough. I was called once by some biddy chasing confirms who didn’t pitch, except when I was called I was there. Weird. This is in the same vane as KRs or being accused of being ‘other intentioned’ and all that crap.
Chris Shugart says
I have to admit that the “Pulp Fiction” mash-up was an amusing diversion from the melodramatic, deadly serious posturing the COS often inflicts on their public. They should make more ads like that–have a little fun with the material, you know?
one of those who see says
Something New! I’m out of the church but under the radar. Just received an Ethics Chit for not attending Scientology International events. Anyone else get one of these? It ends with ” The Maiden Voyage Events are upcoming in July, and it is anticipated that (my name) will attend as part of being a Scientologist.” She signs it ML (much love). She should have signed it “Yes this is a threat.” Ha!
Consider the ethics chit ethics shit and discard accordingly.
So glad to read an insightful comment from a UTR. Thanks for sharing this.
So you got Ethics chitted for blowing off Int Events, eh. Well, well done for having managed that! You’re getting a Commendation from Us!
Ooooh how I wish I could receive one of these “invitations” again so I could respond by sending my regrets for being unable to attend due to already having firm plans to wash my hair those nights and because it always takes SO long to dry and of course I wouldn’t DARE risk going out with a wet head or I might catch cold and not be able to go on course – something completely nonsensical and annoying like that. What fun that would be.. If only they’d give me the opportunity but alas, I’ve been deadfiled. Oh, and end to my written response with, “No love at all” – a complimentary close (stolen from Alcoboy) that I’d give YEARS of my life to be able to use in a note to them.
I’m a proud woman. I’ve always had too much pride to push myself where I’m not uninvited or not wanted BUT
About this I have NO pride left. I’m begging you. BEGGING that you please write to me and invite me to something. Anything will do – a briefing, Int Event, fundraiser, anything. PLEASE! Now, don’t worry, I PROMISE I’m not going to accept. You have my solemn word as a Bitter, Defrocked Apostate that I WON’T be there. Just invite me. So I can just say no. That’s not a lot to ask, is it? Please!…Pretty please?’
Thanks ever so,
I would imagine a hell of a lot of those veiled threats are going out these days to plenty of Under the Radar ex-scientologists.
Eid? That’s odd. I thought Muhammad was just “a small-town booster” from “Kansas, Middle-East”. That guy who created the Kaaba Stone based on an ancient behaviour modification device…
Mary Kahn says
What a LOAD! All of it: Maiden Voyage events, more events (Fundraisers), Admin Scales, Ideal Orgs, Seminars, “Having it All”…. – all of it in an attempt to push the right button and get its talons into you so IT can have your time, your family and more money. There are people in the church that are there because they want to help people but the overall intention of this church and david miscavige is to lure you in and own you.
Miss Q says
Does somebody feel like ‘splaining the “running around the pole” thing to this never-in? Did any of you exes actually do it? The mental image Mike conjured up, well…I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. And the guy’s daughter is so proud of him for finishing it! Aghghghghgh
Just Hummin' Along says
I think they literally run around a pole for some reason known only to themselves, thankfully. I wonder if “finishing it” is code for his funeral is on Friday.
Too bad Foolproof’s not here. He’d give you the tech on it.
“trusting the wrong one can cost you your life savings embezzled away.” Their agenda hidden in plain sight.
The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them – L. Ron Hubbard, Technique 88
The stats will go up
Got no bottom dollar
Hope I’m paid!
Just thinking about
Clears away the cob-webs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!
When I’m stuck
Here with Dave
And l get beaten,
I just stick out my chin
The police better come
So I gotta hang on
Come what may
I love ya
The day I’ll be free from Dave!
LoLoL! My earworm for the night! Great going, Visitor 🙂
Dave is Daddy Warbucks sans soul.
Todd Cray says
Interesting! They actually mention the concept of “embezzling one’s life savings” in a flier. Somebody tell Dan Sherman that this is a subject for his next biographical talk on Hubbard:
“Remember, boys and girls, the time that El Are Eitch took off with Jack Parsons’ life savings (he’d already stolen the man’s girl prior to that)? And what did he do? He bought himself a boat, that’s what! What a card!”
Many a life savings has collided with scientology since then. There has yet to be a case where the outcome was positive for anyone but the cult’s coffers.
Julia St.john says
The “Indiana Jones “ poster isn’t that a copy right on the lettering and “ fake image”?
Such ridiculous marketing.
It is a pity that Lron didn’t jump on the Gluten free bandwagon long ago. Not that diet that is needed by less than 1% of the population is a fad, no it is not a fad.
You know you’re in for trouble when a ‘briefing’ includes dinner. You won’t be getting out for less than $100 per person.
Perth has been ‘Ideal’ for just over 30 days and they are already behind on the Central Files? What is an ideal morg to do when it can’t take care of its basic function?
Keep on leaking these Clam Ads fearless leakers. They are illuminating and funny and give Mike Rinder an easy day.
zemoo, Hubtard DID say that those things that have gluten are bad for you
“Fearless leakers”. Cute!
Ammo Alamo says
I wonder if those famous actors and movie producers know that Scientology is fund-raising using their likenesses? Of course, in the CoS, trademarks, service marks, and copy rights are sacred religious artifacts, very special, so subject to lawsuit if used without permission. But when the issue is the rights of someone besides the CoS, even if they are in the CoS, then its all free use because… well, just because.
The Pulp Fiction images were painfull.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen the quote about “new buildings” as “exclamation points” – that one at least sort of seems to justify the “ideal” org building program, though of course the overly large size, extravagance and costs of the buildings clearly seem to violate other Hubbard edicts. There’s also the problem that he writes about walking up to the door of orgs; I’m seen increasing reports that orgs are keeping their doors closed and locked, without necessarily even a bell for visitors to ring, a retreat to what I’m calling “fortress Scientology” – which
It’s interesting to see Perth still struggling to finish the CF project that was supposed to have been done before their new facility opened. I suspect that, as Orlando’s staff photos suggest, they also did not succeed in the big staff-up that is supposed to be another requirement for an opening; while I haven’t run across any staff photos for Perth, I’d guess that if they really had a lot of people there even temporarily, that they would have put them to work getting the CF done by now.
The building they bought in Ventura is ugly – and so must have been cheap – and their renovation isn’t going to improve its look much. I’d guess that the folks in Santa Barbara are having trouble finding enthusiasm for giving up their attractive mission-style building downtown, for that monstrosity in an office park a half hours’ drive or more away.
Scamology is OBVIOUSLY the Road to Insanity.
Old Surfer Dude says
Hasn’t it been the Road to Insanity from the very start?
It has, and it’s a roundabout.
xenu's son says
Scientology 2018.Hitting new levels of insanity previously not seen in this sector of the universe.
Peggy L says
How to be unstoppable
Wow, I thought this was going to be about Leah and Mike’s A&E documentary 🙂
God, there’s just so much to choose from with all these fabulous events and announcements. Truly earth shattering. Unfortunately I’ll be on another planet and won’t be able to attend, but like LRH, I’ll be up there in the grandstand cheering them on. I sure hope they fake it, er, make it!
Know who you can trust. Because “trusting the wrong one can cost you your life savings embezzled away.” I suppose after that, once you realize what happened and disconnect from that untrustworthy person, they’ll ensure you are “…liquidating because [they’] destroyed your company.”
Wow, you just can’t make that stuff up. The most amazing thing may be that the people writing that, approving that for pub, and printing it absolutely do not see the irony.
Todd Cray says
They don’t see the irony because they are too busy fighting for human rights, combating human trafficking, listening to money management advice from impoverished staffers and attending lectures about how a con man who bilked his marks for gazillions of dollars was a true humanitarian.
xenu's son says
As Gotti in what is shaping up da wost movie this year woudve sed:you can’t get meatand milk from da same cow.
Yes you can. Just not at the same time.