Assume the position…
Arms crossed, three quarter profile is proven to get more recruits than anything else they have ever done.
This is what they call “effective dissemination”…
No wonder they are dead.
BBQ is big…
But hate to break it to you — as a staff member you won’t have money or time to enjoy it.
Oh come on guys…
Are you serious with this one?
61X X Humanitarian
What the hell does that mean?
Still hoping…
This is like the 10,000 Solo NOTs target.
A dream.
And even if they achieved it they still wouldn’t qualify as a drop in the bucket.
Our Commodore is L. Ron Hubbard
Erm, no. He is no longer at the helm. He abandoned ship long ago.
Last one of the month…
Wow, better get in while you still can. Only July Seminars really work. The ones in August are lame.
“Certified”
By who?
They’re really hoping Eventbrite will up their attendance…
It’s the new “thing.”
Lucky for you
A repeat. How epically monumental.
Only 200 Rand
But that ALSO includes a “free” booklet and course!
They must think their targets are pretty dumb…
What if you could predict the future?
Why would you still be doing seminars at $35 a head?
Acted on what?
What is this about?
More Eventbrite
An “interactive” love life workshop? Sounds almost kinky…
Janet Weiland raised from the dead
She used to be in OSA Int?
An “inside briefing”
Yeah right.
And that is some serious hype: “Public awareness of Human Rights increased 40%” thanks to her.
They’re still pitching these
I am sent a few every week, but they’re so routine I usually don’t bother.
But they have apparently hit the bottom of the barrel now…
Epic NEWS: There is now IDEAL KARAOKE!
It’s the best. It’s got the biggest microphone. Easiest to read, specially designed scrolling text. Speakers used by the Rolling Stones for their live concerts.
Idealiness has officially jumped the shark.
And they have Nashville hot chicken too…
Cambridge Goes Jurassic?
Why?
Are they going to have a Cambridge Goes Piltdown the following week?
Hey, SuMP take note…
You might want to listen to this guy because you are definitely struggling to get website traffic….
Sorry for the belated, and if it’s a repeat: “something” can surely be done about it!
R-U-N!
As fast and far as you can.
I keep reading the 6IX as an emphasis on six, perhaps yet another demonstration that if you have to work that hard to LOOK cool, you will never BE cool.
WHO the “F” cares about BBQ? It’s not as if the staff there will be able to afford any of it from all those restaurants. Maybe they can con any of their visiting family to take them out for diner before they’re turned over to the reg or recruiter. That’ll ensure their family be estranged, making the necessary disconnection less noticeable.
“effective Dissemination” leads to a “bookstore” [book nook, really] completely devoid of people; not even someone there to neaten the space up.
61X X means 61 X Squared and the expansion will be enormous.
I got a kick out of that last one by Mike Mitchell.
“we can help you and your business to flourish and prosper at a very low rate.”
Homeless Guy #1: How’s it going?
Homeless Guy #2: I’m flourishing, but it seems to be at a very low rate.
Homeless Guy #1: That’s the same level I’m prospering at.
And it was good to see some truth on the “Power Up Your Life” flyer, because surely the 7 PM gathering on July 31st was indeed the last workshop of the month, although that was probably the only true thing on the flyer.
GAT 3 will solve it all. Honest!
Your fingers are crossed.
GAT 3??? I thought GAT got ‘er done, and GAT II just put a bow on it.
Do you suppose the crossed arms in Assume The Position are to hide the fingernails bitten to the knuckle on Thursdays before 2:00??
I’d bank on it.
I always find it funny that they post all these attractions in the cities that are about to go “Ideal”, when will anybody on staff have the time or money to visit them?
Yes, it’s dumb. Staff members look down on all those activities, because they’re not on-purpose. The other factor, of course, is that they don’t have any money and couldn’t partake.
Stop nattering. More barbeque joints than any other city in the US? This is so…theta. Just relocate and join staff at KC already!
These orgs keep saying “we’re going Saint Hill size”. Has ANY org gone St hill size and maintained it for any length of time? I don’t think so. Maybe these folks should come back down to earth a bit and set a more realistic target. Here’s a good one: The main target for Scientologists should be; “Do everything we can do to get the general public to not hate us so much”. I admit that is a tough target. But one that should be worked on.
Imagine the shock we would feel and alteration in opinion we would have if L’i’l F**k breached protocol and publicly cancelled the Disconnection policy. That would defuse so much of the enmity towards them.
“Getting people to stop hating us” is an admirable goal.
Admirable but unrealistic and out-gradient. “Getting people to think somewhat unfavorably of us” would be a realistic goal for the cult.
In Europe too. Scientology is not disliked, ridiculed, frowned upon like before.
Now it seems universally hated. The brainwashing followed by disconnection, human trafficking, fleecing is much more known than a couple of years ago.
It is not the 40 or so books that came out(just in English)It is is right there in Wikipedia for anyone to see.
Imaberrated: Tubby already tried that one Dwarfenführer’s stuck with trying to make it sound true despite what’s there on the printed page. “fair game” IS cancelled, but that doesn’t change ANYTHING about the way we treat people we THINK we might not like.
An amusing notion, but from a PR and marketing standpoint, it’s actually a sensible suggestion. If their mktng execs were operating in the real world like everyone else, these steps would be first on their list.
Step One: Survey why they hate us.
Step Two: Stop doing those things.
Step Three: Survey what we could do that then people would like us.
Step Four: Do more of those things.
It’s not rocket science.
Its not rocket science to you, Chris, because you’re not a delusional idiot.
Chris, your approach would possibly WORK, if it weren’t for Tubby’s requiring all scientologists to do the EXACT same things as always until the desired result magically happens instead of what’s been happening.
Overrun, not even St Hill stayed St. Hill-sized.
An “X Humanitarian” is a person who was once a humanitarian. But alas, they join a cult where they are indoctrinated that this is the wrong idea as it is out of exchange.
First off, the use of a quote talking about public divisions buzzing and showing an empty public division, uh WHAT? Plus, they conveniently cut off the rest of that sentence.
Here, for anyone who cares is the entire sentence from that ED.
“The Public Divisions would be buzzing with effective action and new people and furnishing a torrent of new names to CF.”
In case anyone cares and hasn’t read the LRH Ed about what he considered to be an Ideal Org lately, here’s a link.
http://www.wiseoldgoat.com/papers-scientology/popup-windows/scn_lrhed_102_700520_the_ideal_org.html
Let’s guess how long its been since a “torrent of new names” have gone to CF. Compare this ED to what David Miscavige has created and calls Ideal Orgs.
Second, does Ideal Karaoke require an Ideal Microphone? How much does one cost?
I’m opening the Ideal Audio Store (IAS) and can get you a platinum standard model for $1,775. Cash or charge?
I understand that you can secure me an additional line of credit on one of my already maxed out credit cards. Have the reg start working on that right now. And I do not want a standard model *pfft*. I want the platinum idealus Maximus model. Why spend $1775 when I can spend 10x that much?
Question: if said microphone is Ideal, can it double as an e-meter? That way, the performer can be sec checked while doing the karaoke, with immediate reg cycle following to extract every thin dime.
Can Lebanon Hall seat six people?
They’ve replaced the burly SO manning the exit doors at events with the T Rex dinosaur. He doesn’t let anyone out!
Can it sit 4?
Yes, but they all have to be Lebanese.
Damn!
So-called “Volunteer Ministers” aka Mandatory Cult Service Minions (with no experience) do not get any kudos for interacting to disaster zones from miles away only long enough for staged photo ops and propaganda purposes.
The stupid, it burns…..Same old, come on. Who would fall for this crap time and time again? It is comforting not to see Gavin Potter or Micky Chan running their ‘prosperity seminars’. They must have been put out to pasture, chew those cuds boys, if DM left you anything to chew on.
Yikes! A text from Jon von Gunten. He has been in since the 1960’s. I left after 15 years…. and he is still in after 50 years?
Scary to contemplate what happens to a mind on Scientology for 50 years 24/7.
Cambridge Alliance Event.
‘Are they going to have a Cambridge goes Piltdown the following week?’
OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait to meet Piltdown man! I’ve heard so much about him!
Old Surfer Dude, I have a treat for you. I located a photo of the elusive Plitdown Man!!! He is shown here at the 2:30 mark along with his body routing partner, Scientology OT and Homo Novis, our old friend FOOLproof. I’ll let you guess who’s who.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nggqe-L9ZQ8
I knew he was alive! I just knew it! And all that time people said he was dead. HA! The Piltdown Man is alive and well & living by the beach.
I think I went out for dinner with him last Saturday night.
Is he everything I hoped it would be? And you got to go out to dinner with him??? Damn!
Everything you hoped, and more, was Piltdown Man. An interesting dinner companion, certainly. Lots of interesting stories to tell. He did experience some confusion though. He thought the waiter, and I, and anyone who happened to pass by our table, were part of the dinner. Long story, but I got away with just a bite mark on my wrist when passing the breadsticks.
However, the waiter lost a finger while serving him his profiterole…Pilty tipped him really well though so in the end there were no hard feelings and the manager told us to come back anytime.
I saw his cousin, the Pillsbury Doughboy once at a supermarket grand opening. He was a soft touch.
Ooooooo…Nice!
“But they have apparently hit the bottom of the barrel now…”
It was just a matter of time. And time IS on our side.
‘An “interactive” love life workshop. Sounds almost kinky’. If we’re talkin’ kinky, COUNT ME IN!!!
I increasingly notice Eventbrite listing Co$ events, so as a former Eventbrite user, I sent them the following on their website’s support comm channel:
“Introduction: I’m a former Eventbrite user when I was webmaster for the annual conference noted in the supplied url – it’s now serviced by a web development company. I was always impressed with the outstanding support given by the Eventbrite team, and your company’s high standards.
That being said, I’ve become aware of Eventbrite’s listings of Scientology events, and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt concerning Eventbrite’s Standards & Practices team understanding who you’re dealing with when you are involved with any Scientology entity. I give you this current blog posting as an example: (link to recent Underground Bunker Lori Hodgson post)
Scientology is a multi-headed criminal organization desperate for legitimacy, establishing a plethora of seemingly innocent front groups to disguise their true intentions: (link to Wikipedia Co$ Front Groups listing)
Now that you’ve (hopefully) reviewed the above, as well as performing your own due diligence, I sincerely hope Eventbrite will “protect your brand” from being blackened by association with the breathtakingly evil enterprise that is Scientology.“
I hope your email is read by a person, not a robot. Well done.
VaIR,
Thank you-I used the tech support contact form on the Eventbrite website, so based on past experience, I know it’ll be read by one or more staff personnel.
I just read this article…a CULT who “holds members against their will, confiscates passports, doesn’t provide children with a proper education & neglects children etc…..sounds all to familiar
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/south-korean-cult-leader-shin-ok-ju-jailed-for-holding-followers-captive-in-fiji/ar-AAFaYNe
Yep, it does, Balletlady.
Become a MASTER in personality evaluation? L. Con Hubtard was the WORST person I’ve ever heard of when it came to that. He hired almost ALL SPs at St. Hill. He worked extensively with and promoted people like DM and Mayo into the highest levels of management.
Any Hubtard enthusiasts that are lurking care to explain? Explain; not troll or spout insanity.
Here’s an example of my incisive and perceptive Personality Evaluation Service.
You’re stupid. Next
Your’e boring. Next
You’re an asshole. Next
You’re an idiot. Next
You’re delusional. Thanks for coming.
And I do it all free of charge. I’m always happy to help.
But, what about me, Chris! I want to be delusional!
You’re delusional.
You’re welcome. That’ll be 5,200 excl VAT please.
Will you take a check?
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/donate/
😀
Chris, MUCH better than Hubtard’s “scale”
Not only free of charge, but tactful and charming to boot, Chris!
I would certainly recommend you 🙂
I would also like to know how it is that so many people of great import, going back to tubby’s days through to today, end up being discovered to be SPs.
Were they always SPs, and the great luminaries of Scn couldn’t see it?
Did they become suppressive after reaching their lofty perches, without anyone noticing?
Was the close proximity to these Big Beings not enough to keep them on track?
Why didn’t the Oatees they were surrounded by detect the first signs of this and handle them at once? Why can’t COB see the SPs in his midst?
But of course, Tubbo couldn’t see enough of the future to make sure he didn’t die living in a trailer with a rump full of psych meds, so…
I wish this argument would work . But it doesn’t at least not on my sisters who disconnected from me. The justification system is so well in place , or the iron curtain that drops in front of their mind’s eyes is in working order and keeping them from inspection.
I tried to ask the question , why nobody detected the sp .
Or maybe they are just stupid but that’s a tough one . Probably a combination unfortunately.
You paint a gruesome picture. But, that’s what they deserve.
They had hidden semicolons on their case so Ron put period to them.
🙂
Also – Perth going St Hill size – lol.
How many orgs have 200 on service & are pulling in $100k a week, let alone what $100k/week would actually be today? ($300k/week or so)
I’m underwhelmed.
I’m under you.
Over to you good buddy.
*sigh* Why does the song stuck in the middle with you keep going through my head while reading this witty repartee?
Which of you is the clown on the left and who is the joker on the right? (and isn’t it wonderful to be able to make fun of things without fear of repercussion?
That song has been permanently etched in my brain after seeing Reservoir Dogs.
Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Where’s my horse?
Well, an Ideal Barbecue, with an Ideal Karaoke at an Ideal Mission…oh boy, these news made an Ideal Thursday!
Hey Mike Mitchel,
Hey Mike,
I have a hot lead for your website promotion business. There is this guy called Davey Missed Cabbage. He is a bit of a funny guy. Kinda have before you do type.
Spent $150 million of other people’s money changing his old studio to a new studio.
Then untold millions on his “movies”.He thinks of himself as a bit of a movie star.
But his website or rather portal needs a little promotion.
https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%201-m&q=scientology%20tv
The Kansas City malls photo is funny, once again they’ve made publicity material showing things that are not in Kansas City. The Columbia Mall is 2 hours away, in… Columbia.
Combined with the phone numbers on these flyers being LA area codes, seems obvious there is still no one in the KC org who is actually from KC, or they’d be putting out material that didn’t scream to the public “we are out of town weirdos pretending to be one of you whilst recruiting for the UFO cult”
miscavige is right, all scientologists are incompetent.
That’s because all cult members are idiots!
So that makes us all former idiots.
Gosh! I guess so! Sorry Scribe.
Well, after an Ideal All Hands (all two of them) tonite getting caught up on filing and other grunt paperwork I’m off for an Ideal Snack and an Ideal 6 hours’ sleep. Sending you all a huge Ideal Yawn…ok, ok, I’ll stop. Good night.