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Thursday Funnies

June 30, 2022 By Mike Rinder 13 Comments

 

Not a whole lot of funnies this week.

But as always, there are some good ones!

 

The Scam Goes On

How, after 20 years, people are still turning over cash for this proven failed program is hard to fathom.

 

Hooray for my sec check!

I’m in the middle of OT VII and I got a sec check! Wow. And then I found out I was in Power! Wow.

Such incredible tech!!!!

But as a Solo NOTs auditor and one of the top beings in the universe, how is it that you need anyone else to clean up your OWs or tell you what condition to apply?

 

Oh Canada…

Lagging way behind on getting the Ideal Org program done.

Not even the “continental org” that already had a building (that they moved out of and has sat empty for a decade or more) has been completed in nearly 20 years.

 

A “Unique” celebration

At least they didn’t call it milestone or epic.

“Fantastic” food. I think not.

The “best” company?

 

Kiddie Corner

She really knows how to spot those SP’s in her life now.

 

Highest ever after highest ever…

The familiar claim of scientology orgs through the ages. Especially those that are new.

And of course, there has been an “unprecedented amount of reach.”

How about some actual numbers?

Oh look, some actual numbers!

The Advanced Org, in just one week, made “5 OT’s” — that could be two people completing OT 1 and 2 and one person completing OT IV. It takes “5 OT’s made” to get one person from OT I through OT V.

So, this monumental accomplishment of highest-everness is equal to ONE person making it through OT V.

Gosh, servicing the whole Continent of Africa with 1.2 billion people, it will take them a mere 23 million years to get everyone through. Provided the population doesn’t increase.

But they are oblivious. They got more this week than last so they might get some laundry time on Sunday morning.

 

 

Yeah, there’s just one problem in the thetaverse…

Disconnection.

Everything here is conditional on remaining in good standing.

 

We’re serving a “delicious”  lunch…

Hope that persuades some people to show up.

Because someone in this photo is not looking like they’re having any fun at all…

 

Who are these people?

Why are they in this poster?

Is it an Indian dinner that’s being served?

 

It’s where the magic happens

The “Valley Blues Chicks” “stole the show” recruiting for Chicago org?? Why wouldn’t they be recruiting for Valley org? They don’t have enough staff to have one person in every room? In fact, why are THEY on staff?

But, stop the presses, they completed their program… So Valley Org must be at least St Hill size right?

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSHAf, Carly McGarrity, CCHR, Chicago org, Diana Keisha Mana, Gabriele Strasky-Polzl, Kiddie Corner, Martin McGarrety, Melbourne org, Theta Singles, valley org, Vancouver org, Willow Bellotti

Comments

  1. Revolted says

    July 3, 2022 at 10:28 pm

    They have ups and downs??! I thought it would only be Ups! I may not join after all!

    Reply
  2. Peridot says

    July 1, 2022 at 8:48 am

    I wholeheartedly agree with Mike’s statement regarding ideal orgs and their seeming infinity of fundraisers and recruiting events: “How, after 20 years, people are still turning over cash for this proven failed program is hard to fathom.”

    Even as Scientologists are opposed to “natter” (utterance of criticism), there is cause for exchange of important observations that help people to do their job.

    I observed it became well-known after the third or fourth opening of an “ideal org” that the recruitment inducements to get people to relocate to be part of a new ideal org staff was backfiring. Leaders on various OT committees exchange notes on what is working, what is not, as ultimately they are engaged in a lot of problem-solving connected to building their “ideal org.”

    Yet we know that the same lies still get told to unsuspecting recruits, if they commit to leave their jobs, homes, and connections and MOVE to staff up a new ideal org, then their life will be a song, including most of their vital living requirements will be handled. Except their vital living requirements are absolutely not handled and these individuals find themselves desperate and often fleeing (“blowing”) from the bad situation and the lies. Mike, you have mentioned that these folks sometimes show up to the Aftermath Foundation and there, they receive true help to get their life back on-track.

    The other vital “intel” to exchange and share among org leaders and OT committee leaders is the lack of inflow of new public to support the now financial overhead of operating one of these big buildings and paying all the bills. OT committee leaders commonly have access to this information. They are many times personally scrambling to help org staff address the now large new set of problems and financial obligations, such as water, electricity, building repairs, and property taxes.

    How then do the droves of donating scientologists CONTINUE to show up with all the mountains of evidence this is a not-good investment? Seems an “I live in a bubble” cult indicator for sure.

    Reply
  3. xTeamXenu75to03chuckbeatty says

    July 1, 2022 at 7:14 am

    It gauls me that Scientologists are such poor believers and summarizers of their spiritual theory, that they cannot really defend their spiritual theory sufficiently to not become “PTS” to anyone.

    In the Problems of Work and Scientology: Fundamentals of Though beginner newbie Scientology books tell how to do the old style “good roads, fair weather” “PTS” handling.

    That’s all Scientology ought to have ever done.

    And if a Scientologist cannot intellectually defend Scientology, then they should not be Scientologists.

    No need ever to “disconnect” in the harsh way Hubbard developed disconnection to be what it is today.

    The 1950s “PTS” handling was adequate, and if a person couldn’t do that, they ought not be Scientologists.

    But Hubbard made becoming a logical Scientologist such a long drawn out event, it strains members to plug along until they get to OT 3 and learn of the exorcism “case” target of OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

    Scientology is horribly not properly summarized by Hubbard, and the members have these long drawn out “courses” to deal with the backlash that Hubbard’s lack of summarizing Scientology created.

    All of Scientology’s problems are Hubbard’s ultimate fault.

    If you summarize Scientology as a karma pseudo-therapy and exorcism spiritual syllabus practice, and you are only a “Hubbard Qualified Scientologist” and essentially at that moment you learn of the core parts of Scientology (the pseudo-therapy steps, the exorcism steps) you are “baptised” as a Scientologist.

    Hubbard’s syllabus (the Bridge to Total Freedom is the syllabus) is so long drawn out, and not summarized, that one does NOT become a full Scientologist until one’s gotten essentially through OT 8, which is ridiculous.

    At the start, to even be in truth a Scientologist, you have to know of the pseudo-therapy target which aims for your own “case” alleviation. And you have to know of the surplus souls target of the exorcism steps of the Scientology syllabus.

    Scientologists are crippled and stunted from even knowing square zero what their subject is aiming at.

    They cannot intellectually defend themselves.

    And its Hubbard’s fault for their predicament of being shuffled along into all the sideline courses of the Hubbard syllabus to repair their “falling off the Bridge” (leaving the syllabus lineup).

    Scientology is dreadful theoretically, so much so, the public non Scientologists grow weary of Scientology’s constant meandering never explaining Scientology.

    All Hubbard’s fault.

    It’s all just pseudo-therapy and exorcism, fundamentally. Soul pseudo-therapy and soul exorcism.

    Reply
  4. Geoff Levin says

    July 1, 2022 at 12:10 am

    Well, in this case not a lot of notices. As you say very impressive quality of massive bovine excrement. And I would like to do demos on how to talk to people about Scientology. That would be fun.

    Reply
  5. I Yawnalot says

    June 30, 2022 at 3:24 pm

    “Theta Singles” date club… No money asked and I’m qualified, among other things to run this because I did lots of 2D handlings!

    It’s not easy to flabbergast me with the bizarre that oozes out of Scientology these days, but with this one I can see it disturbing my sleep when I least expect it.

    You sure this wasn’t slipped in by Regraded Being?

    Reply
    • I Like Ham says

      June 30, 2022 at 11:10 pm

      I can’t lie, the title of her book did quite amuse me.

      Reply
  6. Mark Kamran says

    June 30, 2022 at 1:45 pm

    An Africa with out African 😳

    What a Tech 😉

    Reply
    • Kevin says

      June 30, 2022 at 3:57 pm

      Yeah I was just noticing how white everyone in that picture was.

      Reply
  7. PlanetshipT says

    June 30, 2022 at 1:27 pm

    When I see an OT8 that doesn’t seem to know the difference between Power and Danger I question the usefulness of the ‘Technology’ but seeing kids on course just makes me ill. I was so blessed with parents who allowed me a childhood of fishing, exploring and playing with friends to develop into my own human being.

    Also today I learned there’s a book titled “LOVE LIKE ROMEO & JULIET WITHOUT THE TROUBLE OF HAVING TO DIE”. I’m probably not going to add that the bookshelves – not even the ‘books too big to flush’ section.

    Reply
  8. Alcoboy says

    June 30, 2022 at 12:29 pm

    Here’s a parody of the Canadian national anthem as written by a group called ThDubya:

    Oh, Canada! The greatest land of all!
    Land surface great but population small.
    We have Indians! We have Inuits! Even folk who hail from France!
    Watch a hockey game then chop down a tree! That’s called Canadian finance!
    Come if you’re fat!
    Come if you’re gay!
    In Canada you are accepted, eh?
    In Canada you are accepted, eh?

    Reply
  9. safetyguy says

    June 30, 2022 at 9:14 am

    True love is not conditional. It isn’t “I will love you if…..” It is “i will love you in spite of …….”

    But that is just me.

    Reply
  10. otherles says

    June 30, 2022 at 8:53 am

    The presses are stopped. Now what?

    Reply
    • safetyguy says

      June 30, 2022 at 10:17 am

      “We will restart the presses when we think up the next lie.”

      Reply

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