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Thursday Funnies

December 8, 2022 By Mike Rinder 33 Comments

 

This is the “Advanced Org”

Their “Safe Pointing” campaign…

 

ASI’s “Tasty Treats”

Get yourself a shot of hot jolt — while they try to sell you some “priceless” “special editions” of Ron’s old, not very good, fiction.

 

He’s Running in Circles

He’s “on Cause Resurgence” — wonder if he’s dizzy?

 

No Org Graduates?

Just someone from Flag?

 

An example to others?

Oddly for Chicago, she is young. This poster is a bit misleading given the other old people we have seen…

 

 

Avoid bad decisions

Like paying $6 for this bunk and getting a “free” book.

 

“Being on staff would make me a better mother”

Oh boy. She is totally unreal.

 

Yep, “secure your eternity”…

So we can get some money to the staff.

 

At least an hour

What can 3 people in a completely dead org talk about for an hour in a “production meeting”?

 

The Big News for Chicago

It’s special. It’s “getting done.”

 

Find out how you can help...

Give us your money. NOW. All of it.

 

Because it’s confusing

 

Wonder if these other orgs know?

Scientology is an organization of systemic human rights abuses….

 

The perfect scientology business

 

“Bringing sanity and help to all”

That’s what they tell them and that’s what they buy into.

Sad.

 

No clue what happened

But he was way too young to die.

 

Kiddie Corner

 

The Chan Man hitting up S. Africa

Well, not really, Apparently they are the Advanced Org for Canada, US, Spain, France, England. Hell, pretty much everywhere.

They must still be selling their stuff cheap.

 

 

Lydia Hopwood joins the STAND League

Crazy meets crazier.

 

 

At the Bromley’s home?

This is the “ideal org” Christmas Party?

It’s not like they don’t have 50 empty rooms in the org?

 

Julian Burnside AO, QC wake up…

 

No Habla Espanol?

 

“Confront and address our problems together as a community”

What does this mean?

 

OT VIII is more accessible than ever….

Is this because the Freewinds never leaves the dock in Aruba?

 

Puerto Rico is in completion mode

Meaning absolutely nothing at all. Other than we intend to take more money from you.

Why aren’t these people from Orlando doing something to try to resuscitate the flatlined Orlando org?

 

Are they serious?

Religion has been the cause of more wars in history than anything…

 

Lots of magic…

 

Graduation and talk show???

 

 

Rocketing towards their target

They’ve raised 10 million “maple leafs” (if everyone pays what they have promised which never happens) — can you imagine investing $10 million in an organization that might clear a few hundred bucks a week? “Standard Admin” at work…

 

 

A miracle?

The only miracle is that they can still convince ANYONE to show up for yet another “fundraiser” for orgs that are not even in their city.

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Andrea D'Agostini, Angela Sophie Reagan, AOSH Africa, AOSH ANZO, ASI, Deborah Shaul, Elena Walls, Freewinds, Gun Industry Marketplace, Jessica Kudewicz, Julian Burnside, Katerina Alemis, Keith Horn, Long Island org, Lydia Hopwood, Michael Chan, Monique Cichocki, Sarah Page-wells

Comments

  1. Alcoboy says

    December 9, 2022 at 8:14 pm

    CHICAGO IS GETTING DONE!
    NOW WE REACH OUT TO ALL OF OUR EXPATS LIVING IN NASHVILLE!
    Come home, come home, Steve and Carol Eddington! We also call to your darling children Lane and Dan! Oh, hear us and return, Max and Spencer Marier! Return to your home org! And to Danni Quee, we ask…….no, wait. Hold on. She’s an SP. She felt that getting a degree at Belmont University was more important than saving the planet. Forget her. Oh, Kitty James, we call….no,wait, she dropped her body some years back so scratch her, too. Hear us, oh………..

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      December 11, 2022 at 6:35 pm

      Chicago and its suburbs have 9.5 million people. But, never mind, they need Nashville to get themselves staffed. Sad.

      Reply
  2. SL1978 says

    December 9, 2022 at 12:33 pm

    Say what you will, Chicago definitely is rocking it with all the announcements.
    Straight up and vertical!!!

    Reply
  3. Aquamarine says

    December 8, 2022 at 8:22 pm

    Jessica who just joined staff at Chicago is quite an attractive young woman physically but I don’t like her expression; it looks smug, self-satisfied, almost disdainful. And then of course there are the inevitable crossed arms…oh, well, I guess this is her version of LRH’s “fierce, dedicated glare”. I’d wager a 50 she doesn’t last 3 months.

    Reply
    • Ran Talbott says

      December 9, 2022 at 6:32 am

      I am surprised at your post this morning. You always seem like such a wise lady.

      Surely you must realize that it’s not really possible to forsee what will happen to this lady based on whatever forced expression she was wearing when this picture was taken.

      I’m guessing someone was feeding her instructions to make her look like they wanted for whatever reason they had – usually to support more donations.

      I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn her face was really found in some kind of catalog that lists models or even computer generated images.

      But I’m surprised to hear you say that you believe you can predict something about this person’s future based on how she appeared in this photo shoot.

      I have a great deal of respect for you and the Aquamarine that I know would never fall for something based on this photo shoot.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        December 9, 2022 at 3:31 pm

        Hi Ran,
        I hear you on everything.
        My comment/opinion was not a carefully thought out, highly considered one.
        It was made in a light- hearted way and thrown out without much thought.
        You’re correct on all your points!
        I don’t know this woman.
        Although in my own defense I never stated that I believed that I could predict something about her future based on how she appeared in this photo shoot!

        What I did base my rather dismissive comment about her on were the many times when in that I encountered new staff members initially all gung ho and on fire and excited about being there, and within a short time, a few months, gone. Just vanished.
        From my 27 years of observations, there were a handful of staff who stayed, year after year, and quite a number of others who didn’t last, although they started out brimming with enthusiasm about the benefits of being on staff.

        But, you know what? You’re totally right, and I don’t know this woman and she could turn out to be a terrific, long term Class V org staff member.

        And what you said about someone feeding her instructions to make her look like they wanted for this photograph, yes, I have no doubt that this is true.

        Reply
        • Ran Talbott says

          December 9, 2022 at 11:54 pm

          I always knew you were a very wise lady.

          Best wishes to you and yours.

          Reply
    • Toph says

      December 9, 2022 at 7:19 am

      Dodgy Dave preying on 2D impulses to attract fresh meat to join staff. I suspect you’re more likely to be met by middle-aged Jeff than Jess to guilt-trip you into signing up.

      Reply
  4. Jere Lull says

    December 8, 2022 at 6:53 pm

    I see these things and hear: “tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, you’re always a day away.”

    Reply
  5. Toph says

    December 8, 2022 at 6:28 pm

    Going off on a tangent after looking at how accessible (lol) OT VIII now is, but in the attached quote LRH refers to the level as ‘New’ OT VIII. I know the initial release was a shambles but why would he be referring to something other than the original given it wasn’t actually released before he dropped the body?

    Reply
    • otherles says

      December 9, 2022 at 12:10 am

      I still favor the pillow over the face as the actual cause of death for LRH.

      Reply
  6. Phillip says

    December 8, 2022 at 6:11 pm

    “Religion has been the cause of more wars in history than anything…”

    I’ve heard this before, but don’t believe it’s true.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      December 8, 2022 at 8:34 pm

      @Phillip,
      I agree with you but would add that religion has been frequently utilized as the excuse for wars – the acceptable, noble, spiritual reason for many wars which were in fact fought over material concerns, i.e., arable land, water, control over trade routes, valuable minerals, money, cheap human labor, etc.

      Reply
    • otherles says

      December 9, 2022 at 12:17 am

      I’m not a professional historian but I believe that emotional states are a significant cause for wars.

      Reply
  7. Ed Cadena says

    December 8, 2022 at 4:02 pm

    Narconon Arrowhead do will pay for the services of a Spanish translator…
    When?
    No trouble, when the Executive <council allocates some Euros..
    That is: NEVER

    Reply
  8. Fred G. Haseney says

    December 8, 2022 at 3:13 pm

    Re: The perfect scientology business

    From my experience with working for multiple scientology front groups for well over a decade, I would consider the Gun Industry Marketplace to be just that. Especially after you find out about their alliance with the Citizens Commmission on Human Rights as seen on their web site.

    Reply
    • jim rowles says

      December 8, 2022 at 5:58 pm

      Just wondering….

      If a resume was sent to them with the name Viktor Bont would they have a meltdown?

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        December 8, 2022 at 6:58 pm

        If they saw an application from Viktor Bont, they’d be over the MOON! ANY application is a near-infinite increase in stats for the month, perhaps their year.

        Reply
      • Fred Haseney says

        December 13, 2022 at 4:28 pm

        Hi, Jim

        If you meant Viktor Bout, the
        Russian arms dealer, yes, a meltdown would most likely occur.

        Reply
  9. Joe says

    December 8, 2022 at 3:11 pm

    WTF Julian Burnside, you’re a human rights lawyer speaking at an organisation that has the worst record on human rights, are you high? You’re better than that.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      December 8, 2022 at 7:00 pm

      Burnside knows nothing of that. He sees only what his handlers let him see, hears only their carefully worked-out shore stories, so HAS to follow along in their charades.

      Reply
  10. Miss Dutch says

    December 8, 2022 at 10:42 am

    I scrolled through a little quickly and got pretty excited. NOTHING FROM COLUMBUS! Yeah! I’ve been afraid to listen to the radio. That’s where I usually hear their invitation to some holiday something-or-other.

    Reply
  11. otherles says

    December 8, 2022 at 9:00 am

    It appears to be a good thing that my parents moved from the Chicago area.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      December 8, 2022 at 2:04 pm

      Yes, they have apparently taken over the whole city! 🙂

      Reply
      • safetyguy says

        December 8, 2022 at 3:18 pm

        uuuh I don’t think so. That could be a bit dangerous if you know what I mean.

        Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      December 8, 2022 at 7:20 pm

      AND it’s a great idea that I moved from the Clearwater area long ago. Getting as far away as possible from a dangerous operation like that is best for our mental, financial, and psychic health.
      I’m happy that the most stressful thing in my life of late has been what I want for Christmas. I , for a lark a while back, took the online OCA. Since then, I keep telling the drone from Bridge Pubs that I KNOW my ruin, such as it is: Trying to divest myself of the false data that scientology infested me with. Also that there’s NOTHING scientology can offer me as I READ the basics in their original, unaltered releases, I DID what they’re calling Class 5 these days, I ATTESTED to “clear” and it’s nothing like what was promised, and afterwards came the big CRASH! If I was PTS at the time, I was PTS to scientology, itself, as I’ve been on a steady improvement since Flog’s mistreatments. he seems unfazed by my rejection of his promotion of whatever it is that Bridge Pubs can offer me other than incredibly overpriced books and tapes/CDs/whatever.

      Reply
  12. PeaceMaker says

    December 8, 2022 at 8:37 am

    Jessica isn’t from Chicago. I wonder if she is one of the people they are sending in to help try to get the new building staffed and finally opened – or just someone on staff in Tampa who they picked for PR appearances over the old timers we’ve seen them recruiting recently.

    Reply
    • safetyguy says

      December 8, 2022 at 3:21 pm

      Well, if one reads carefully, she never really says she is in Chicago. Just that she joined staff.

      Another bait and switch.

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        December 8, 2022 at 7:24 pm

        They’re SO desperate, I bet if any one of us signed up, they’d be overjoyed to welcome us to captivity, and we’d be celebrated as this incredible WIN in next week’s fluff piece of promotion.

        Reply
      • AnEx says

        December 8, 2022 at 7:34 pm

        Just google her name. Jess is all over the place: TikTok, Facebook, etc Here’s a clip where she talks about moving from Tampa to Chicago:

        https://www.tiktok.com/@jesskudewicz/video/7090645737729690926?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1

        Still I think she’s more like a paid model who posed for the poster.

        Reply
        • Fredyr says

          December 9, 2022 at 7:16 am

          From http://www.truthaboutscientology.com

          The following 3 individual completions for Jessica Kudewicz appear in official Scientology publications:

          Jessica Kudewicz SCIENTOLOGY LIFE IMPROVEMENT® COURSES Celebrity 449 2019-04-01
          Jessica Kudewicz SCIENTOLOGY: A NEW SLANT ON LIFE Celebrity 450 2019-06-01
          Jessica Kudewicz SCIENTOLOGY LIFE IMPROVEMENT® COURSES Celebrity 450 2019-06-01

          Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          December 9, 2022 at 8:40 pm

          I googled her. She’s a real estate agent in Tampa with a firm called IMPACT (whose website is down) and has sold 1 home in Clearwater. Apparently she’s a singer also. And, it looks like, something of an internet influencer, whatever that is – I’ll have to look the term up one day. So she’s moving from the Tampa Clearwater area to Chicago to be on staff there, and she’s beyond excited. Very likely she was Tampa Org’s public.
          Good luck, Jessica; you’z gonna need it. Chicago, Chicago, toddlin’ town…I like Chicago, its a fun place and people are friendly, although the weather there is something else – brutally cold windy winters and hot hot summers…

          Reply
        • PeaceMaker says

          December 10, 2022 at 5:07 pm

          AnEx, thanks for verifying Jessica did actually move to Chicago. I noticed she calls herself and actress and singer, so how would actually being on staff fit with the ambitions she still expresses?

          I wonder if she’s really even on staff, or just one of those I’ve heard they sign up who is supposed to start employment once they open the new org building or “expand” afterwards, but of course then may never actually have to come to work.

          Reply

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