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Thursday Funnies

January 5, 2023 By Mike Rinder 34 Comments

 

Mr. Mickiewicz

Going to be calling the COB “Mr. Mickiewicz” from now on….

 

Infinite Expansion?

If he knows how to create infinite expansion, how come there are no orgs in Slovakia or Lithuania?

 

Contrary Facts

Her friend is an OT VII who can’t make it go right to pay for OT VIII without selling her gaudy scientology jewelry? So much for those OT’s at cause over all life.

 

The “National Church”

This is it — the “National Church” up there on the “first floor” as it is called in Australia (below it is the “ground floor”). No sign. No indication it even exists (because it really is the definition of a small and failing org):

 

The Chan Man IN PERSON!

OMG…

They are REALLY serious now.

 

That is why?

Unfortunately, he thinks he is doing a noble and good thing.

 

ASHO and Wick are back!

Joining the Chan Man. They have the heavy hitters…

 

Everyone is doing it…

Even WUS. Albuquerque, Austin, St. Louis and Hawaii are not important. All-hands on Chicago.

 

Flag’s Postulate Seminar

Laurie Webster is postulating your money into her accounts.

She hasn’t managed to postulate the L. Ron Hubbard Hall into existence in 30 years though.

 

Some Author Services Bargains

And a recipe?

 

Running in Circles Miracles

She probably hasn’t done it… That would require a trip to Flag for some weeks of full time “auditing”

 

Food for graduation?

This looks like an ad for a restaurant?

Where are the graduates?

 

10000 OT VIII

How about OT VII first?

 

Missions combined?

The Mission “network” keeps shrinking, even in Southern California

 

Kiddie Corner

 

Guess Speaker

Who shall remain nameless because nobody cares.

 

 

The Kung Fu Kitchen

Guess that was the only place they could get to agree to a photo op?

 

You’re going to have to have another one now

You are now going to have to get everyone in to see the “real” New Year’s event featuring Mr. Mickiewicz

 

A Special Mr. Mickiewicz event

 

They’re having another New Years now too

 

Cocoon

 

Maybe they postulate an org into existence?

 

Nothing odd here

A graduation for Vancouver “Day” featuring someone from Western Canada who went to Africa to do from SRD to OT levels?

Why didn’t he do his lower levels at Vancouver? And his OT levels in LA? And where are the Vancouver Day graduates?

 

Not just the Chan Man…

Dan York is going to be there too.

He has the classic pose to show off his Rolex.

Apart from his watch, who knows why anyone cares what he says?

 

mm

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Alejandra Enguerra, Anna Mazza, Chris Wong, Dan York, Elio Cervi, Jean Dale Glass, Jennie Nelson, Jim Gain, JoAnne Linsell, Kiddie Corner, Kseniya Son, Laurie Webster, Manchester, Marc Perkowitz, Michael Chan, Miro Lopusny, Misha Gandelman, Mr. Mickiewicz, Norwood Mission, Peter Byrne, Sara Frechette, Sherman Oaks Mission, Vancouver Day, Wick Allcock

Comments

  1. OCORG-FBOAdmin-ForAMonth says

    January 9, 2023 at 6:09 pm

    “Everyone is doing it” photo of the Chicago skyline, look at the buildings just “left of center” and one is “rainbow-colored”.

    Mr. Mickiewicz, doing some “signaling”?

    Changing the Tone Scale?

    Corny the COB and Tommy Boy (the two members of the “Lollypop Guild”) rumors are true?

    Reply
  2. Fred Haseney says

    January 7, 2023 at 2:50 pm

    Yes, it is called:

    “The Pooped Party Package Deluxe

    Buy now!

    Reply
  3. ExScnStaff says

    January 6, 2023 at 12:38 pm

    Marc’s comments on (re-?)joining Chicago staff are 100% on the nose Sunk Cost Fallacy. He has to give more for the investment he’s already made to come to fruition.

    Reply
  4. Koos Nolst Trenité says

    January 6, 2023 at 11:23 am

    It would be worthwhile, especially for defending or de-programming self and others,

    to describe the condition of those – as they see themselves inside Scientology Orgs, as –

    “wonderful, all-knowing O.T. VIII’s who are at total, unshakeable cause over their life:”

    They are ( = their soul is experiencing self, others, and life) within the Euphorizing and Unawareness (type Harmful LifeEnergy) provided and “pumped” into them by Hubbard (and by Scientology, Scientologists),

    meaning: Life Energy that determines what they observe, feel, think, and want – about life, about themselves, about others – vulgarly called a ‘Bubble,’ ‘Cool Aide’ etc., and hardly less useful, labeled hypnotic.

    “Hallo! Get out of your ‘Bubble’ ‘Cool Aide’ or hypnotic state!” – hardly works.

    It is MUCH MORE appealing to FEEL life inside the Bubble, to be ( = to have your soul) strongly PULLED INTO, and to REMAIN in Euphorizing- and Unawareness-type Harmful LifeEnergy {#HALEPs} (for your feelings, thoughts, “Awareness” etc.)

    FEELS BETTER THAN to feel the actual existence and actual infliction of the GRUESOME, laming, deadly, or sickening Ugliness and Hate Energy, and to admit to yourself the debilitating Unawareness Energy

    that Hubbard and his gang of “die-hard” Scientologists inflict – with their “Way To Happiness,” “Study Course,” etc., etc.

    Rather “Be Happy, Know All,” and “Clear the Planet” into it, as well!

    KNT hrp&p

    Reply
    • Martin Ottmann says

      January 6, 2023 at 6:18 pm

      Are you for real, Koos Nolst Trenité? How are your telepathic capabilities these days?

      Reply
    • Koos Nolst Trenité says

      January 12, 2023 at 1:05 pm

      Natural Human Rights Article ONE:

      Everyone has the right to demand for self and others

      ‘To be accepted as the soul that one is.’

      KNT hrp&p (human rights philosopher and poet)

      Reply
  5. SL1978 says

    January 6, 2023 at 10:11 am

    Chicago is really going all in – I sense “straight up and vertical” in 2023 for them.

    “Thank you for listening …. I write just for you ….”

    Hip hip!

    Reply
  6. Aquamarine says

    January 6, 2023 at 2:01 am

    Here’s what I would ask Peter Byrne today if I could somehow wangle an invitation to his Postulate Seminar:

    * Instead of showing us how to make OUR postulates work, how about YOU making some of YOURS come true? What a concept, eh? But then, you ARE the one up there, showing US how its done, so…

    * And by the way what ARE your postulates, Peter?

    * Specifically, what are your postulates for Scientology? Because, Scientology by actual statistic doesn’t seem to be doing too well, you know?

    * So what’s up with your postulates, hey? Have you been making them? Or are you too busy making money teaching others how to make them? So what are your postulates, and do share with us how they’ve been working for you lately!

    Oh, people, people…OMG. OMG, how I would LOVE to sit in on one of these bullshit postulate seminars today!

    Reply
  7. PeaceMaker says

    January 5, 2023 at 8:56 pm

    I looked up Sherman Oaks, and the mission has a strip mall style storefront next to a massage parlor, though in a 3 story structure labeled a “professional building”. I wonder if it’s one of the locations that’s actually just run out of the offices of a member’s real business like an accounting firm or marketing company that can get by without its own obvious signage; I’ve visited at least one mission site that turned out to be run that way, and I know there are others.

    Reply
  8. Fred G. Haseney says

    January 5, 2023 at 7:36 pm

    Hip hip Mickiewicz!

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      January 5, 2023 at 9:29 pm

      Hip, Hip, Hooey!, mr. Mickiewicz, sir.
      That’s just what the Dwarfenführer® would like, that his true name never be spoken aloud, so he can be incognito whenever he wants
      Or it’s like in magic where naming your “true name” has some power over you. As it would in his case: If he answers to his birth name, he COULD be served legal papers.

      Reply
      • Fred Haseney says

        January 7, 2023 at 2:44 pm

        Jere Lull,

        It is interesting to note that “Mickiewicz” is a real surname, and that people known by that last name live in Clearwater, Florida.

        Reply
  9. Angry Gay Pope says

    January 5, 2023 at 6:22 pm

    I cannot believe the SHERMAN OAKS MISSION is still boasting that it is the co-mission of BEVERLY HILLS. That shut down a decade ago and the only record of it is my video here: https://youtu.be/m60-BVRUGkw

    Reply
  10. Todd Cray says

    January 5, 2023 at 5:38 pm

    Hey Marc,

    So you’ve given so much service and money already that you’re compelled to now given even more? For Xenu’s sake, word clear “Sunk Cost Fallacy.”

    Reply
  11. Cindy says

    January 5, 2023 at 3:47 pm

    If any SO members sees that she is selling her OT VIII bracelet (this looks like some of the OT VIII bracelets they pressure you to buy), to pay for OT VIII (what, doing it a second time???), they will send her to Qual or Ethics.

    They want you buying all from the church so that they get the money, an not so someone else gets it. When the Basics came out, I refused to buy them cuz I had all the books already from earlier editions. But they said it would be ethics for me if I didn’t buy, so I bought them over time from a friend who had an extra set or two. I got in trouble for that cuz they wanted me to buy directly from the church so that they get the money an not someone else. Also when at Flag they don’t like it if you don’t eat on base They admonish you if you eat at a restaurant outside of Flag’s.

    Reply
    • Fred G. Haseney says

      January 5, 2023 at 7:51 pm

      Scientology staff members can be such party poopers, Cindy.

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        January 5, 2023 at 9:35 pm

        AND they require that YOU pay for the pooped party, full cost+ and before it happens, too. Even if the party never happened.

        Reply
      • Cindy says

        January 6, 2023 at 2:12 am

        Yes. And we were party poopers for leaving! NOT!

        Reply
        • Fred Haseney says

          January 7, 2023 at 2:37 pm

          Cindy,

          That’s a good one: “NOT!”

          Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      January 6, 2023 at 1:45 am

      @Cindy,

      Everything you just said, and assuming its not plate at least 14 carat gold, still, get a load of its decidedly underwhelming tiny pave diamonds. Quite unimpressive and I have no doubt she paid the cult wayyyy too much for this bracelet. I’d love to know the wholesale price the cult paid for it and what their mark up was. Greedy bastards.

      Reply
      • Cindy says

        January 6, 2023 at 11:50 am

        I agree. I’d love to take it to a jeweler an get it appraised. does anyone on here know if the OT VIII gold bracelets are real gold an what kind of gold?

        Reply
        • PeaceMaker says

          January 6, 2023 at 3:54 pm

          Cindy, I’ve seen CofS jewelry on eBay, and there’s relatively little actual gold value in it – typical for much of what’s sold at retail, and especially from an organization known for ridiculous markups. If I recall it varies from 12 or 14k to 18k, but basically that means it’s about half real gold.

          A sterling bracelet listed recently weighed 14 grams; that’s about $10 in silver melt value, or if it were 14k gold it would be around $500. Small chip diamonds are worth very little from scrap jewelry, and as CofS jewelry has almost no outside market unlike say Christian crosses, there’s little to do other than break pieces up.

          That said, there do seem to be some people like SPs willing to pay a couple hundred dollars premium for items like silver clear bracelets, that could be worn out of interest or amusement like Tony Ortega does – but that might not even apply to gold items.

          Reply
    • Xenos says

      January 6, 2023 at 5:36 am

      The only religion that puts so much emphasis on where the scriptures are brought from, you wouldn’t have a church say if you didn’t buy your Bible from us you are not welcome…

      As for not wanting you to eat outside Flag, what’s the go with that ? When your at Flag don’t U get fed without added expense to you ? I thought it was free and therefore rejecting their food would save them money $$$

      Reply
      • Cindy says

        January 6, 2023 at 11:53 am

        Dream on. Flag pay for something for you? Ha! You pay for every morsel you eat there. I’m surprised they don’t have a meter on the toilet paper to charge you per square used.

        Reply
        • Xenos says

          January 6, 2023 at 7:20 pm

          Don’t give them ideas !!! Next thing will be a toilet paper meter fund raiser which will be the next big Scientology saviour that will save the world.

          Thanks for your response, there you go, I thought all Sea org members were fed as in return for their service. Perhaps those who work at flag are just staff and not sea org who don’t get fed ?

          Reply
          • Cindy says

            January 6, 2023 at 9:33 pm

            Xenos, you are right that SO members eat for free. All the beans and rice they can stomach in most cases. I thought you were asking me if public ate for free. No, public don’t but SO do,

            Reply
          • Cindy says

            January 6, 2023 at 9:35 pm

            As Elaine Benice from Seinfeld would say, “Not a square to spare.”

            Reply
        • sinjiansmythe says

          January 10, 2023 at 4:07 pm

          the basin for washing hands: “Please deposit 1 dollar, for the next 2 seconds of water…”

          The toilet: “Please deposit $50 dollars to flush the toilet.”

          The bed: “please deposit $400 for your next 10 min nap..”

          hahahaha

          the room: “please deposit $1000 for the next 10 min of oxygen…”

          Reply
  12. Peridot says

    January 5, 2023 at 2:55 pm

    Agree on the poor public relations of an OT promoting that they are selling their diamond-encrusted Scientology bracelet to be able to pay for their next OT level. Within the framework of the group, this OT should be sent to Qual division for Correction. If I was still in, I would definitely be discouraged (about the benefits of achieving OT levels) seeing this.

    On the Dan York item: Curious. I think a primary claim for him is that he is one of those C of S group members who is confident and willing to do outrageous things using credit cards to pay for donations. That is such a common practice in this group, to bring someone forward who does positively crazy things using debt and credit cards, as though this is a “one size fits all” approach to life. Rally others to agree (that this will work for them too), except rarely is anything “one size fits all.” Someone who is good at bungee jumping does not mean they should be in-charge of convincing everyone else to take up bungee jumping.

    Happy New Year all

    Reply
    • Cindy says

      January 10, 2023 at 6:29 pm

      LRH in his green on white volumes for business, wrote that you save money for the future by investing in things instead of putting it in banks cuz you could get your hands on the money to easily from a bank and by tying it up in things, it would be harder so hopefully you would find better ways to earn or get money than to sell the asset. So in the 80’s everyone bought up the framed art work posters from the Mission Earth Series. Portraits of Countess Krack, Jettero Heller, and The Widow and so on. Well later when people tried to sell this framed art work to recoup their money, art work that was supposedly worth a lot of money (said by the registrars who sold it to you as an investment), people found it was worthless and you couldn’t give the stuff away.

      Reply
  13. Alexis says

    January 5, 2023 at 2:34 pm

    Miro Lopusny from Slovakia has fundraised for Bratislava Org soooo many times, and so many times the money went missing. After sea org probe it seems that he diverted the money to some local gypsy rehab in Eastern Slovakia. He got so much crap for it but apparently it never did anything…. Eat shit Miro

    Reply
  14. safetyguy says

    January 5, 2023 at 11:10 am

    Do you suppose that the Process Servers could sign up for Mr. Mickiewicz event and serve him while they are there with him?

    That would be funny.

    Reply
  15. otherles says

    January 5, 2023 at 10:14 am

    “Mental chains are stronger than steel.”

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/72813079@N00/22514217784/in/dateposted-public/

    Reply
  16. Alcoboy says

    January 5, 2023 at 9:33 am

    Dan York. Hoo boy. Wonder if he’s still in Nashville? I met him there when he was on staff. Forget what his post was but probably doing promo with Sal Rinella.

    Reply

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