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Thursday Funnies

July 7, 2016 By Mike Rinder 108 Comments

Minions_800_450

Of course, the focus this time of year is on the magnificent Maiden Voyage events, things no scientologist would want to miss (though a large number of them do just that, the attendance keeps getting smaller and smaller and the hype and gimmicks they resort to become more and more bizarre).

 

Our Friend Rupert Murdoch

Always good to hear from Twit of the Year. Wonder if he realizes that Rupert Murdoch is a YUGE SP Merchant of Chaos? Clearly the brown nosing instinct and desire to appear to be an important person trumps even his “I am the most important scientologists in the UK” status.

Screenshot (47)

 

 

We went to MV and all we got was this lousy T-shirt

Nobody ever accused Miscavige of being cheap… Though of course, he is. These suckers fork over ten grand at least for the dubious privilege of being within spitting distance of Dear Leader and his idea of a special gift is a t-shirt. Surprised it didn’t have his face on it (Mad Magazine t-shirt anyone?)
Screenshot (48)

 

 

Charlie’s Angels

Seriously?

And the Jive Asses are the 4th most productive FSMs for London Org. OMG.

Screenshot (49)

 

Progress? Not really…

The years go by and they just don’t seem to get anywhere near being done. Even though they had a big completion celebration at one point. There are still a LOT more empty little boxes than yellow ones.

Screenshot (753)

 

The Pitches

Check out this conservative style approach from some “OL” in the UK….

Screenshot (754)

 

Now compare it to this from one of the hypemasters of Porn Valley….

Screenshot (754a)

They are apparently trying a new approach. This is apparently the new fad:  using “Opinion Leaders” to beg people to show up.

Screenshot (754b)

Screenshot (767a) Screenshot (768)

 

This final one is a bit too honest methinks…. “This getting up the Bridge is challenging.”

Screenshot (768a)

 

 

They used to offer just food

Now they are trying entertainment too… (Of course, back in the “good ole days” the EVENT was what got people to show up)

Screenshot (758)

 

 

“Lord” Loehwing speaks

This guy should team up with John Mappin. Self-importance button much?  Funny how these ex-SO somehow become the mainstays for so many orgs…

Screenshot (761)

 

AWESOME Valley T-Shirts

But not as awesome as the COB t-shirts.

But get a load of this LRH quote – and how they are going to “apply it”. “Who are these Valley guys?”

Stooges. Fools. Cocksplats.Screenshot (762)

 

Dress Code

Dress as if you were from another country? And of course, the old favorite – pirates. In keeping with the scientology theme of rape, pillage and plunder.

Screenshot (764)

 

Endless Tampa CF

Still going strong (weak?). And it’s so exciting Harrison Ford is coming!

What better way to spend July 4th could there be?

Screenshot (765)

Tom Cruise too!

Don’t you love the copyright notices on these things. All sorts of scientology copyrights being preserved blah blah and nary a mention of the copyrights of the movie studios….

Screenshot (766)

 

Battlefield Earth Hype

It is so strange to read these things when you know what they are hyping. It’s “been in the making for several years” — hah. It was actually “made” in 1983…Screenshot (767)

 

This one tops them all…

Shakespeare has been eclipsed. Dickens demolished. Tolstoy trashed. It’s the new standard for fiction… And the C/S of ASHO is of course an international expert on the subject.

Screenshot (768b)

 

Bill to the rescue

The first people who need your seminar are the staff of Valley org. Check out all those empty boxes Bill.

Screenshot (769)

 

 

This is scientology “management”

Running fiction booksales for the world to see… Oh, what a religious movement this is.

Screenshot (774)

 

Wall of Shame

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Irony

Scientologists are well practiced at throwing people out of their families.

Screenshot (779)

 

Optional Conventions

They come, they go. If nobody shows up, ah well.

The Moneywinds should be rechristened as the WISE Private Club Yacht. It is literally one week after another of WISE guys working for FSM Commissions.

Screenshot (787)

 

Screenshot (795)

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Do they even know what a Jolly Roger is?

Pirates really are the beingness that best represents scientology today. (*Jolly Roger is the traditional English name for the flags flown to identify a pirate ship about to attack during the early 18th century)Screenshot (788)

 

He hits the nail on the head

Tim seems to capture the reality of life in a small and failing org better than most. And he is certainly more candid.

Screenshot (789)

 

More hype

This is the winner for this week. There has never been an event in scientology that is one time only. They play them over and over and over.

Wonder if anyone believes this. At all?

But it is nice that it is “personally writing you” – it always sounds so… impersonal.

Screenshot (790)

 

The Valley also has Kevin Wilson

So how come he hasn’t straightened out the finances of the org? Or gotten all those empty squares filled in?

Screenshot (791)

 

Love to know what this “DVD” is…

Another “never before seen” item? Only to be seen in the church of scientology of Ohio in Florence Kentucky. Yeah, must be epic and monumental for sure.

Screenshot (793)

 

 

COB dropped a bomb

It’s a #2 and it’s a big one.

No hype here….Screenshot (794)

 

It will be rocking!

They will no doubt have a bunch of expendable Sea Org members (ie non-registrars) ready in civilian clothes in case nobody shows up other than Bubbles Champagne. Maybe we will have a report on what happens at this “open to the public” (except for the people we decide it is not open to), event.

Screenshot (798)

 

Come from around the world…

…and stay overnight to watch a video replay of an event that was held a month ago with a “landmark announcement.” That makes sense.

But never fear, Bubbles is right onto it, along with the OT Farce. Bet they are overwhelmed with thousands arriving for 3 nights in a cheap-ass motel…

This says it all about the state of desperation in scientology. Screenshot (799)

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Church of Scientology, David Miscavige, Flag Service Organization, Freewinds, fundraising, funnies, Ideal Orgs

Comments

  1. Wognited and Out says

    July 8, 2016 at 8:45 am

    I recall doing the “havingness” rundown at the Fraud Scam Base (Flag). Throw around money until you cognite that you CAN and WILL throw money around.

    This process costs $10,000 or more.

    It gets you “used” to and “genned in” to throw and waste money …even if it is borrowed….meanwhile the vulture Regges are standing by foaming at the mouth in hopes to win the “fruit plate wars” so they can buy tampons, eat and smoke.

    RIP Hy Lev, Registrar at Flag.

    Thank you for sharing the TRUTH about this evil cult’s Mecca of Technical Extortion. For those of you who did not know about Hy Levy – watch his whistle blowing You Tube Videos.

    For those lurkers with terminal illness, compliments of Scientology, please unburden on the various blogs regarding Scientology. It is the right thing to do and it will relieve your conscious.

    Reminder: Kick that hornets nest “SP’s” and keep telling the truth about Scamontology!

    https://youtu.be/Tu_AKpPibwM

    https://youtu.be/jaq2kj8waog

    Hy Levy’s best year as a Registrar was $15,000,000. He was a “volunteer” who made $50 per week working 12 hour days. The services were also “delivered” by volunteer’s that worked 12-16 hour days making $50 per week, if lucky.

    Reply
  2. EMAN says

    July 8, 2016 at 3:03 am

    So fun as usual to read those Thursday’s FUNNIES.
    By the way, does anyone know if Margie ESTERMANN is still in ASHO. She used to be the SNR CS ASHO Day and now I see COSIMO being the SNR CS. What happened to Margie ?

    Reply
    • Michael Winters says

      July 8, 2016 at 4:52 pm

      Eman, Cos is a Lead Tech CS not Snr CS … so who knows?

      Reply
  3. Pete Griffiths says

    July 8, 2016 at 12:49 am

    I say this every year at this time. Here we go again.
    1. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Maiden%20Voyage
    2. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/maiden-voyage

    A vessel has ONE maiden voyage, not 4 each and every year. Wears thin.

    Reply
  4. robert lannon says

    July 8, 2016 at 12:42 am

    Freudian slip ? “OL’s” little note meant to say “confirmed” but to me it reads, “If you are not already confined for this event”…

    Reply
  5. Kronomex says

    July 7, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    Murdoch and Trump – Evil and Eviller. Mappin – clueless git.
    I’d buy a pair of trousers with an image of Demento, with his mouth open, on the back of the pants.
    Gerson’s plug was a sad indictment on a trapped mind.
    Source Night – see above.
    My bs o’meter went into overdrive after a quick perusal on the ‘net about Loehwing.
    Hubbard’s “literary legacy” immediately brought to mind Theodore Sturgeon’s (paraphrased) revelation, “Ninety percent of everything he wrote is crap.”
    Dress as your favourite pirate; would I get in dressed as Demento wearing a Demento mask?
    Sequence of Expansion is just another way of saying that the only thing expanding is Dork Maniacal’s bank account.
    44 CD’s? Are they joking…oh wait, I keep forgetting that it’s $camology so it will be another ten years or so before they discover the wonders of DVD.
    More photos of children from Scotland that give me the creeps.
    Ken Kramer is becoming more and more delusional as time goes by.
    Optional Conventions – It now appears they couldn’t fill a bathtub, let alone a boat named Bleeds Money.
    The rubbish people like Tim spews has become a giant yawn inspiring event and rates with watching grass dry and paint grow.
    Demento is trying desperately (that word and its derivations gets a lot use when talking about $camology) to keep the rush of “the war is over” high and is failing miserably. As he fails again and again he becomes more insular and hides from reality. Pathetic little man with little man syndrome doomed to continual failure.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 8:42 am

      Hi Kronomex, I look for your comments because they are always thoughtful,funny and True.Thank you.xo

      Reply
  6. Pequena being says

    July 7, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    How does one watch Tom Cruse movies and do Central Files (CF) at the same time? What’s the stat here?

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 8:41 am

      Hi Pequenta, Good to meet you & an excellent question.As a veteran of CF diving from long ago,a pair of headphones would do,it for me block that TC out.Always

      Reply
  7. OverTheBridgeTPA says

    July 7, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Hi Mike. I didn’t read all the comments…..so maybe someone already told you…..did you pick up a copy of today’s TBT?
    COB is on the cover.
    Yep. Awesome.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      July 7, 2016 at 9:09 pm

      Yes, I commented on it on Facebook and Twitter.

      This is what I said:

      Miscavige steps in to make it go right and ensure there will never be a downtown aquarium that will attract “wogs” into his Clearwater kingdom.

      Will Clearwater ever wake up? It is almost too late, so much of downtown is already owned by scientology it will never recover.

      It’s sad to watch – they seem convinced the land sales will ultimately result in Disney World, in fact they are getting an Edsel factory.

      ww.tampabay.com/news/scientology/scientology-leader-meets-one-on-one-with-city-officials-over-key-downtown/2284410

      Reply
      • Chee Chalker says

        July 7, 2016 at 10:56 pm

        Look at the number of ‘angry’ votes the on line article received.
        Plus all the hilarious comments!

        Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        July 8, 2016 at 8:45 am

        Hi Mike, That COB will not take his foot off the $ accelerator! If he wants his own Scientology Ghost Town theme park in Clearwater it looks like that is what he will get! XO

        Reply
    • Kronomex says

      July 7, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      Why do I get a feeling that the council will capitulate to Muckcabbage and let him, er, um, $camology buy the land.

      Reply
  8. Espiando says

    July 7, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    Murdoch isn’t only the prime Merchant of Chaos on Teegeeack, he also loathes Scientology with a passion. Twit of the Year apparently doesn’t know this, otherwise he wouldn’t be celebrating the meeting of the two satanic forces whose blood when mixed will open the vortex to the underworld…

    …yes, I do support Hillary. Why do you ask? Come on, I’m from Chicago and I’m gay. Who else am I going to support?

    That t-shirt looks like it’s fifteen years old and been washed in hot water every time it’s been laundered. No, wait, I have fifteen-year-old t-shirts with better-looking silkscreening than that thing. Call it twenty years old, washed in hot water, and worn every day by a construction worker.

    And my fucking plane back to Chicago’s been delayed a half hour. My OT Powerz must not be working today.

    Hmmm, so Valley Org had people hand out promotional flyers for their big do this upcoming weekend. This event proved that even Scientologists can’t be body-routed anymore. GIVE UP THE BODY ROUTING! IT DOESN’T WORK!

    My wonder about the London FSMs isn’t why the Jive Asses are the fourth most successful. It’s how the King of the Douchebags is the seventh most successful. For London Idle Morgue, Grant? Really? When your home morgue, Mighty My Mammy, isn’t Idle yet, you’ve gone to the other side of the Atlantic to grub money? Shame on you, Your Royal Douchiness. Shame on you.

    “Pitmaston” is, of course, the future home of Brummieham Idle Morgue. Glad to see it’s being used for some purpose. This place, a beautiful house, is actually being renovated. It, of course, will be under renovation until the sun becomes a white dwarf.

    “You have to be in present time to understand exactly where we are headed.” You’re headed for the septic tank, dude. Anyone in present time is able to see that. Why aren’t you? Oh, wait, this is Stan Gerson, the magician guy. The rabbit in his hat must have eaten into his skull.

    Sorry, Mike, but the words “Stacy Francis” and “entertainment” should never be in close proximity. Well, at least she’s graduated from being the Gladys Knight to AKNE’s Pips (and whatever happened to AKNU? You never see cult promos for them anymore.)

    “Three magic words that will change your life”: “You’ve got AIDS”. Those are three words that would change most people’s lives.

    “Dress as if you were from another country”: okay, I’ll put on about thirty kilos, then find the smallest Speedo that I can stretch over my nethers. Voila, I’m a German tourist!

    Is the “new” “21st Century” edition of Battlefield Earth printed on absorbent paper? If so, that’s about a month or two worth of toilet paper for OSD. Hubbard does have some use!

    Did Bill J. admit in that promo that Admin Tech is total shit and does not guarantee expansion? Why, yes, yes he did. Naughty, naughty, peeling back the Ol’ Man’s curtain like that. You need to be spanked, Bill, with a copy of the 21st Century Edition of Battlefield Earth. There should be lots of copies lying around.

    HAPI, stop it with the kids, will you? Because of your kids thing, we’re stuck in the lower 70s on Reasons Why Scotland Is Better. You promised a hundred, you fuckers, you’re going to deliver a hundred. Or else.

    So how do you spell Jeannie Franks Bogvad Whatever’s latest last name? This is about the fourth variant that I’ve seen. The bitch is your goddamn ED, Cincy Across The River In Kentucky. You should know how to spell her name.

    And since I need to find an outlet for the laptop, I’ll end with this: the wonderful thing about the British is that during times of national trauma like they’ve been having for the last two weeks, they know how to insult. Although David Tennant’s example was good, my favorite courtesy of reading the Guardian’s comment sections is “cockwomble”. Used by any number of people to describe Boris Johnson, it also works for other people with ridiculous hair. A dwarf with a pompadour, for example.

    Enjoy.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Hi Espiando, You send me enjoyment with each post.And with your OT Powers you will straighten O’Hare out in no time, plus mentally fly the jet where you need to go.You are not one of the toughest SPd on the planet for nothing! ❤️ Ann B.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        July 8, 2016 at 8:49 am

        Hi Espiando, SPs Ann type! xo

        Reply
  9. Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht says

    July 7, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    That T-shirt… https://www.flickr.com/photos/marksshoops/27923340445/

    Reply
    • Gimpy says

      July 8, 2016 at 6:02 am

      Now that’s more like it.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        July 8, 2016 at 12:41 pm

        Now that truly is truth in advertising! Scientology: The Cruelest Religion on the Planet.

        Reply
  10. Ann B Watson says

    July 7, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Hi Mike,Again thank you for Thursday Funnies.I must admit the never before seen DVD did it for me.I am to learn about threats against the church and further never before seen or told missions of Ron who,seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time being quoted left, right & center.Hologram him for the LRH Hall.Ann that is really creepy.Anyway I can’t wait to hear about the ” hair raising adventures that got us where we are today.In my experience hair pulling was more like it!XO Ann B

    Reply
  11. Tara says

    July 7, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    Clueless…

    Reply
  12. edge says

    July 7, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    So, in their minds ecclesiastical activities include:
    -wearing a “Coolest Religion on Earth” T-Shirt because your church told you to.
    -buying a fiction book in mass quantities to pump up sales, even though I’m guessing there are more fake reviews on Amazon then actual sales.
    -spending your holiday weekend sorting mail in the most antiquated system of filing imaginable.

    “little-known”, “never before seen”, “in the works for several years”…they sure like their mystery sandwiches with a large helping of secret sauce.

    Reply
    • Mephisto says

      July 7, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      And wash it down with copious amounts of kool-aid.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        July 8, 2016 at 12:42 pm

        It’s their favorite drink…..

        Reply
  13. Mike Wynski says

    July 7, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    Burbank Mission? LMAO. So that’s how Mitch T. keeps Miss Cabbage from beating him on a regular basis. He owns a “Mission” (which means regular minimum purchases from Bridge.)

    Reply
  14. zemooo says

    July 7, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    The ‘Maiden Voyage’ has been going on for 27 years (or more) and is done at least 4 (1 ‘event’ in 4 different parts?) 1x times a year.

    At what point does the ‘Maiden’ become a tired old toothless prostitute? I count 108 times this ‘vessel’ has ‘voyaged’ and it must be very rusty by now. As excuses for fund raising go, this one has been used too often. The audience knows exactly what will happen. A few ‘hip, hip, horrays’ for Lron and then the reging will rage.

    Mappin proves his fealty to Lron and the COB. By continuing to be a major league putz. He alone is keeping many off the Bridge of Despairs. We should laud him for that, and that alone.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 8:55 am

      Hi zemoo, Good to see you.I am with you the Maiden Voyage thing really grates on me.As you commented the vessel has voyaged on enough BS from COS to send her directly to Davey Jones’s special locker for really worn out sea roamers.I have to say with the state of thing ,the image of regging rages made me giggle.Hopefully they will rage to empty decks except for the totally Ron/David Aided who will go down with the cult-ship.Sad but they will not see.XO Ann B

      Reply
  15. SadStateofAffairs says

    July 7, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    Hmm…mega 4th dynamic announcement as big as “the War is Over”. What could that be? Based on known past events this year, it could be their win in the Belgian Criminal case, they could blow they up into a 20 year fight threatening their very existence. But who knows.
    Different subject – the BE campaign. This one is truly pathetic. ASI must be doing like total crap as all they can do is recycle and recycle LRH fiction works, some of which are over 80 years old. And there is the Church policy imperatives from LRH books, and popularizing the name of LRH as a fiction writer as a first step, is what ultimately leads to getting people into the Church. So they have to recycle this stuff and their campaigns…and some idiot, probably Miscavige, remembers how successful the BE campaign was when HE was COB ASI so tells them to do it all again, including the manipulation. But truth is that LRH fiction and ASI’s recycling function has an ever diminishing return that is reaching the point of no return.
    David Miscavige, master recycler on the porch of oblivion.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      July 7, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      The Bomb is Belgium. GOing to do a posting on this shortly…

      Reply
      • justmeteehee says

        July 7, 2016 at 3:09 pm

        Will keep checking for it!

        Reply
        • Ann B Watson says

          July 8, 2016 at 8:58 am

          Hi SadStateOfAffairs,Nice to meet you,thank you for your post.I adore the last line.DM master recycler on the porch of oblivion. Perfect!xo

          Reply
      • thegman77 says

        July 7, 2016 at 3:26 pm

        Mike: Have they given up “EPIC” as their big word and substituted “ICONIC” instead. I doubt the writers of either have any clue.

        Reply
        • Mephisto says

          July 7, 2016 at 4:38 pm

          EPICONIC.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            July 8, 2016 at 12:44 pm

            So…..that means it’s an Iconic Epic event?

            Reply
            • Mephisto says

              July 8, 2016 at 3:46 pm

              They be epiconic
              Delusional tectonic
              Believing L-i-Ronic
              Making them psychotic

              Reply
      • LDW says

        July 7, 2016 at 4:02 pm

        Think he’ll be able to spin the raids in Russia into a big win?

        Reply
  16. Jose Chung says

    July 7, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    An MV T Shirt, no swag bag of expensive treats ?

    A fix for Battlefield Earth Movie.
    Get the rights to “Guardians of the Galaxy ” and
    re title as Battlefield Earth..

    Reply
    • Mephisto says

      July 7, 2016 at 1:37 pm

      Guardians of the Gulag.

      Reply
  17. Xenu's Son says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    Of course we know what the big news is:BE!
    It is at this very moment at
    Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #488,990 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
    https://www.amazon.com/Battlefield-Earth-L-Ron-Hubbard/dp/1592120075

    Reply
  18. justmeteehee says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Oh Mike I take exception here, they actually for once got something right… LRH DID set the standard for fiction in all he wrote except his novels!
    Again CoS leave the poor Scottish kids alone!
    And I still can’t for the life of me understand this predeliction with Pirate wear.

    Reply
    • Mephisto says

      July 7, 2016 at 1:33 pm

      A role model for LRH – https://goo.gl/images/hNAZRR

      Reply
      • justmeteehee says

        July 7, 2016 at 2:36 pm

        Arrrrggggghhhhh Matey!

        Reply
        • Mephisto says

          July 7, 2016 at 4:40 pm

          Shiver me timbers lassie!

          Reply
    • The Budapest Crocheter says

      July 7, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      Poor Scottish kids with very Hungarian last names. Brexit will not be good for UK Scientology stats.

      Reply
      • The Dark Avenger says

        July 8, 2016 at 1:39 am

        “Halasz—that’s about as Scottish as the Queen of Englands’ _________”

        Reply
  19. Lou G says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    Enough with the crossed arms already!

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Hi Lou G, Very nice to meet you.Those crossed arms! I have had it up to here with The Scientology Glare-Stare We Stand Tough BS,Did it years ago in Sea Org but actually thought if TRs are the basis for so much and OT is the goals why add crossed arms? Got sent to Ethics by Qual lol.Always Ann B

      Reply
  20. Anon says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    “Dress as if you were from another country.”

    I just want to point out the ridiculousness of this statement.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 9:04 am

      Hi Anon, In Baton Rouge La, COS in not beloved plus everyone here dresses from another planet! So cos’s silly statement is out of date big time.Well Ron loved the word WOGS.XONice to meet you.

      Reply
  21. Stephanie Loving says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    Hi Mike, in the last post from Kaye, she calls for OTs to attend (i.e., III, IV, Vs, VIIs and VIII’s). Aside from the weird inconsistent punctuation, any idea why she skipped over OTVI? She hopped from OT V to OT VII. What? OT6 is chopped liver? Why would OT5 be more desirable than an OT6? I thought each level was an advancement over the others … each level supposedly making you better than the last. I’m a never-in voracious reader of your blog and the Bunker. And while I have an understanding of most Co$ lingo and Co$ history… the minutiae escapes me much of the time. So in a nutshell … why is attendance of an OT5 more desirable than the attendance of an OT6. Could it be that Kaye was rushing and is confused by Roman Numerals and just forgot OT VI? Thanks Mike. I really appreciate your page and read daily. Always an eye-opener!

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      July 7, 2016 at 12:56 pm

      OT VI is just the study course for auditing on OT VII. So, as soon as you complete OT VI you start on OT VII and then are “OT VII” or “on OT VII”. Nobody calls themselves “OT VI”. All the other “solo” levels have the learning part and then the auditing part designated as the same OT level. OT “VII” is split into two separate “OT” levels. It’s a silly anomaly. But what else is new.

      Reply
      • Stephanie Loving says

        July 7, 2016 at 2:17 pm

        Got it. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

        Reply
        • Mephisto says

          July 7, 2016 at 2:41 pm

          Dear Stephanie – I hacked Mephisto’s email account. LOL!!! ?
          I work for Flag as a service facilitator. I can see you have lots of interest in going up the Bridge. Smart girl! I’ll be in your area this week. What time is better to meet, tomorrow at 11 am or 2:30 pm?

          ML – David Hubbard (no relationship. I wish! teehee)

          Reply
          • Ann B Watson says

            July 8, 2016 at 9:08 am

            Hi Mephisto, Very good to meet you.While you are at it hack dms accounts too,I am sure he does not want the world to know that he has a terrible grasp of communication skills.As in none but physical punishment and flinging SOers in the Hole.XO I really like your posts very talented.XO Ann B

            Reply
  22. hgc10 says

    July 7, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    Peggy Crawford asks “need I say more?” Considering that she gave, “it’s all about our founder” as four of the seven (“many”) reasons why she encourages you to attend this shakedown (ahem, “event”), I think she needs to say less, not more.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 9:09 am

      Hi hgc10, I liked your post.Perhaps Peggy could do an obscure level in cos that requires one to not say anything at all complimentary about the Cult.xo

      Reply
  23. Xenu's Son says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:56 am

    The latest clips of the Jive Aces are down a bit 12 views on youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaGkEf3prN4
    Chill EB 177 views. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlKod__40NA
    So after being inspired by the Learless Feeder eh Fearless Leader Mitch Talevi has decided to start the “Coolest band in the world”.
    “Mitch and the Geezers”. (MAG)
    MAG will tour assisted living facilities eh OT committees. Yes it already has 17views. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK5_YtsXmNU

    Reply
  24. Mephisto says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:31 am

    Dear Mitch, Kevin, David et al.

    Sorry I can’t attend any of your events. I’m actually working! Just send me the links and I’ll check them out on my smartphone. Oh, and before I forget, let me correct the LRH quote so you guys can actually increase your prosperity and not just talk about it.

    “Money flows toward points which attract pro-survival attention. All you’ve got to do is stand up there and keep on being pro-survival and be pro-survival in a widening communication sphere and you will have to start throwing this stuff away!”

    Change to:

    “Money flows to those who produce something a vast majority of people want. All you’ve got to do is figure out a real need and make it easily available at an attractive price and you’ll have lots of money. Forget about throwing the stuff away.”

    You’re welcome!

    Reply
  25. Xenu's Son says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:29 am

    John Mappin of the Camelot Castle hotel. The Biggest Blowhard in Britain. Get a hotel(a dump) next to a castle and put pictures of yourself everywhere. Wonder where he got that idea? Worst bathrooms in the UK.No reports of missing tp though.
    .https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g186245-d227560-Reviews-or10-Camelot_Castle_Hotel-Tintagel_Cornwall_England.html#REVIEWS

    Reply
    • Kronomex says

      July 7, 2016 at 9:30 pm

      Reading the 340 “excellent” reviews was strangely (gosh, what a surprise) like looking at the 5 star reviews for Belching Ectoplasm on Amazon. Odd coincidence that.

      Reply
  26. Old Surfer Dude says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:18 am

    Holy crap! Again with the children in Scotland? That is just so slimy……

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      July 7, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      Children are the only people left who’ll give the look of expectancy of listening to them that they haven’t already scammed out. It the lowest of lows to exploit the innocence of children but this is the Church of Scientology – one comes to expect that sort of thing.
      You don’t want to think too closely about what a Scientologist has in store for pets and household plants – they’re next! I’m not joking, the attention they have already given and continue to give on mundane things like food and imaginative playacting, re pirates, gangsters etc is very real for them. The playbook of a Scientologist’s activities is the study of “stuck in reverse imagination.” They crave attention and will go to any lengths to get it. Problem is they burn every bridge (pun intended) in their effort to please command intention – they have nowhere else to go… except weird!

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        July 8, 2016 at 9:14 am

        Hi I Yawnalot,An excellent post. Pets and house hold plants are next,Wait get those Tomato Plants ASAP, really Cos is so out there now I do exspect to see David’s Boutique Shops for celebs,whales and clams,in all the empty echoing Orgs that are no longer ideal.& never were.XO Ann B.

        Reply
  27. petlover1948 says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:17 am

    wonderful news!!!!! This is a faith that wants Money to be everything! Such spirituality…and remember: “it is my religion; so do not be a bigot.”
    Also, the “OL” in the UK wants it to be: “confinred.” Is that confirmed, or confined. I think the later.

    A bunch of Hooey; that sadly I was once involved with. And the “wasband” is still up to his receding hairline involved. He is now 64, and spends almost all of his life in the Org. Raising dough for them, & blindly obeying the whims of the cult. He has No memories of being with his children; and now spends no time with grandchildren. And he and his parents DO NOT CARE! sick

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      July 8, 2016 at 9:16 am

      Hi petlover1948, Very good to see you. You are so right, a bunch of Hooey that I bought by the semi-load.So so glad we all got smart and got out.XO Ann B

      Reply
  28. Old Surfer Dude says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:17 am

    Mike, I get Stooges. I get Fools. However, Cocksplats is just way, waaaaay over my head. But, it does sound really cool!

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      July 7, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Great Scots term used by David Tennant last week to describe Donald Trump’s idiotic statements about leaving the EU – that he made IN Scotland. I thought you, of all people, would be down with that one. Just google the word, you will see dozens of media articles… 🙂

      Reply
      • Stephanie Loving says

        July 7, 2016 at 12:15 pm

        That term is a keeper. Well said Mr. Tennant! The word is beautifully onomatopoeic! Irresistable!

        Reply
        • Stephanie Loving says

          July 7, 2016 at 12:17 pm

          And yes I overdid the exclamation points. But I really like that WORD! ;o)

          Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        July 7, 2016 at 12:37 pm

        Well, c’mon, Mike! You know I’ve got the IQ of a squash…But, thanks for the heads up!

        Reply
        • Ann B Watson says

          July 8, 2016 at 9:25 am

          Hi OSD If you have the IQ of a squash,I have the IQ of a mosquito.I miss you two so I have to tell you I always love reading your posts even if I have not been totally in comm recently.My mom in law passed at 96 and a half and after cremation next week Walter takes her ashes to his family cemetery in Va.I am staying here babysitting the geriactric cat!You would believe the dark Scottish humor jokes Walter is making about the ashes.I just want her to RIP! I think about your new little one coming alot.Especially after those Scottish kids being trotted out.Disgusting! XO XO Forever Ann B.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            July 8, 2016 at 12:48 pm

            I’m so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful mother. However, she had one heck of a long life! But, nothing really dies. It just transforms……

            Reply
            • Ann B Watson says

              July 8, 2016 at 1:11 pm

              Hi OSD, Thank you for your very kind words muy surfing angel.xo

              Reply
            • Ann B Watson says

              July 8, 2016 at 1:13 pm

              Hi OSD, Thank you for your very kind words,my surfing angel! XO Ann B.

              Reply
      • alcoboy says

        July 7, 2016 at 6:20 pm

        Words of wisdom from the lips of Dr. Who himself.

        Reply
  29. lesbates says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:10 am

    Coolest Religion on Earth?

    No, that would be the Church of the Subgenius.

    http://www.subgenius.com/

    Praise Bob!

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      July 7, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      How dare you leave the quotation marks out of “Bob”? Pink boy.

      Reply
  30. Doug Sprinkle says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:09 am

    It’s hard for me to think of anything that would be more embarrassing than to be seen in public wearing that T-shirt.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      July 8, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      Then I dare you to do it, Dougie!

      Reply
  31. Rick Mycroft says

    July 7, 2016 at 11:09 am

    John Mappin should be soiling his underwear post-Brexit. His Camelot dump won’t be able to function without a constant churn of cheap uninformed Eastern European labor.

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      July 7, 2016 at 5:27 pm

      Neither can Saint Hell. Danilovich got purged from his post just in time.

      Reply
  32. Dollar Morgue says

    July 7, 2016 at 10:55 am

    I don’t comment much any more, but I can’t resist today. I’ll go out on a limb and say: that t-shirt is downright embarrassing! Does David Miscavige get a kick out of degrading people and getting them to degrade and humiliate themselves while thinking it’s the coolest thing?

    Then there’s the OL Robert inviting to Pitmaston (where on Earth???). He nearly slipped in a bit of truthiness there, though. Almost typed “already been confined for this event” (would have fitted nicely).

    All in all, does scientology get stranger the more you leave it behind or is it actually getting stranger as time passes, or both?

    And one more thing: markets involve demand and supply. They have identified poverty as a problem and wealth as a demand. How is it, after all these decades, they still have not risen above offering “prosperity”? When will we see seminars on subjects like, “How to access your whole track mind to bring scientific breakthroughs to current society” or “How to heal by the power of postulates”? Anyone? Anyone?

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      July 7, 2016 at 11:20 am

      Does David Miscavige get a kick out of degrading people and getting them to degrade and humiliate themselves

      Simple answer. Yes. He is a sociopath. He enjoys having power over people. His definition of power is the ability to get people to do things against their self-interest. He gets a kick out of being able to get people to give money to his benefit when it harms them. I have always said, it is not about the money itself (he has more available to him than he could EVER spend) it is about the measure of power he exerts over others. From the largest whale (who willings turns over tens of millions for NOTHING) to the smallest fish who uses their children’s college fund or mortgages their home to contribute to an “ideal org” this is the most satisfying thing to him.

      The t-shirts are just a small indicator.

      The real test — he will NEVER wear one in public. Just like he doesn’t give ANY of his personal money to the IAS or Ideal Orgs. And he doesn’t redo the Student Hat or Objectives. He hasn’t done the Running Program. Probably hasn’t done Super Power. But he can command other people to do so, and that is all that matters.

      Reply
      • Regraded Being says

        July 7, 2016 at 11:32 am

        Are you saying that he doesn’t actually wear one of those really cool white pleather IAS jackets either??? You know…. the one with the zippers all over it.

        Reply
        • Mike Rinder says

          July 7, 2016 at 11:43 am

          Well, maybe one of those…. each night in front of the mirror just before he gets lays his head on his goose-down pillow and is tucked in to Frette sheets under his Hermes blanket.

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            July 7, 2016 at 2:53 pm

            I had Hermes once, Mike. But the meds they gave me made it go away…

            Reply
            • Ann B Watson says

              July 8, 2016 at 9:30 am

              Hi Dollar Morgue, It is good to see your comment.Thank you.Prosperity has me scratching my head too.But what Mike said above I think is key.Just as I know from experience rape is about power control not sex and certainly not love David became a true hard boiled psychopath.He is horrible.XO

              Reply
      • Doug Sprinkle says

        July 7, 2016 at 11:42 am

        But in Miscavagie’s mind does he think the T-shirts are embarrassing to wear, or does he think they really are cool? Obviously I don’t expect anyone to really know the answer, but in his mind he probably thinks any reference to Scientology really is cool?

        Reply
        • Dollar Morgue says

          July 7, 2016 at 3:45 pm

          I think he secretly or not so secretly despises fawning scientologists.

          Reply
        • alcoboy says

          July 7, 2016 at 6:27 pm

          To me, that T-shirt is the indicator of where Scientology went wrong; by promoting itself as a fad. And I can’t believe that they’re still doing it. In the 40s through the 60s, the cool thing to be in Hollywood was a Christian Scientist. Then the 60s through the early 90s it was Scientology. That was then followed by Yehuda Berg and the Kabbalah Centres. You can see this in that Scientology isn’t the only religion with empty churches. Look at Christian Science.

          Reply
          • Dollar Morgue says

            July 8, 2016 at 3:35 am

            There’s a Christian Science reading room in my city. I’ve never seen anyone in it.

            Reply
            • Ann B Watson says

              July 8, 2016 at 9:32 am

              Hi Dollar Morgue, Boston Mass has the mother church map room for CS,which when I was young was interesting,but I hear it is empty and they are hurting.XO

              Reply
  33. Regraded Being says

    July 7, 2016 at 10:55 am

    “And speaking of LRH fiction, there is something that will be rolled out at this event which will be setting a new standard for fiction all over the world, as nothing like it has ever been done before.”
    I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!!!! The OT levels IX and X are finally being released!!!!

    Reply
    • petlover1948 says

      July 7, 2016 at 11:37 am

      HA HAHA!!!!!

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        July 8, 2016 at 9:35 am

        Hi RB, From your lips to David’s ear! Oh joy the OT levels of fever fantasies for the Ages.I am too excited to type! XXOO Ann B??⭐️✨?

        Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      July 7, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Oh, thank your God! I’ve been waiting for OT 9 and 10 for as long as I can remember! And that would be about 7 minutes.

      Reply
  34. Robert Almblad says

    July 7, 2016 at 10:48 am

    The absence of new, young public at events and the increase of young foreign staff is palpable evidence the cult is closing down. Events are not only shrinking, but they are educating the attendees of how Scientology is not expanding.

    Reply
    • Mephisto says

      July 7, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      Robert, you bitter, defrocked apostate, purveyor of all that’s wrong with the coolest religion in the universe! Bless your heart.

      Reply
  35. secretfornow says

    July 7, 2016 at 10:46 am

    if scientology actually did what it promises to do all of this begging would not be needed. The world would knock the doors down for the ‘tech’. their own public wouldn’t need to be begged to attend, they’d be clamoring too.

    The overblown language is embarrassing.

    Thanks, Mike. Reading this carp makes me so thankful to be out.

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      July 7, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      Secret, you have got to teach me how to read carp. Maybe I can get enough experience to one day browse bass.

      Reply
      • secretfornow says

        July 7, 2016 at 10:41 pm

        no honey…I wasted hella time learning how to read carp. I finally learned how to wrap it in newspaper and throw it in the rubbish bin along with all the other smelly foul filthys. You don’t wanna learn how to read carp. (“3 points per definition fully cleared” bah) I’ll browse bass with ya any old day. We could get a boat and a cooler and some pillows for the arse, sit out on a sunny day and see what’s biting.

        Reply
      • Joe Pendleton says

        July 7, 2016 at 11:54 pm

        Reading carp? Not very difficult … but … you have to learn to read between the scales.

        Reply
        • Ann B Watson says

          July 8, 2016 at 9:36 am

          Hi Joe, Ha,a very good one!! XO Ann B

          Reply
  36. john Johnson says

    July 7, 2016 at 10:44 am

    This endless bombast is getting me sick. confinred=typo of the day! I’m afraid I cannot attend the MV for 3 reasons:1) my credit cards are maxed out. 2) I get seasick easily. #3 I am allergic to asbestos.

    Reply
    • GTBO says

      July 7, 2016 at 2:28 pm

      “I cannot attend the MV for 3 reasons:1) my credit cards are maxed out. 2) I get seasick easily. #3 I am allergic to asbestos.”

      Reason 4
      I have put my bullshit filters in my ears so will not hear anything

      Reply
      • Mephisto says

        July 7, 2016 at 7:26 pm

        Reason 5

        Watching Wheel of Fortune reruns on YouTube.

        Reason 6 (per the tech)

        Was there no interest in the first place?

        Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        July 8, 2016 at 9:38 am

        Hi john Johnston, Good to meet you.I wish I could have been allergic to asbestos would have saved me much heart ache.XO Ann B.

        Reply

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