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Thursday Funnies – Deep Fried Kool Aid

October 23, 2014 By Mike Rinder 85 Comments

DeepFriedKoolAid2-460x343

 

IAS Feedback

They are pulling out all the stops to try and convince people to show up to the local re-airings of the decidedly underwhelming earth shaking IAS 30th Anniversary event.

But they are REALLY out of touch with their public. A “testimonial” from a medic at the tent or “local shop owner” isn’t going to convince a member of the IAS to show up. And I guarantee that if anyone who is NOT a member shows up, they will not be allowed into this event for fear that they are really a bitter defrocked apostate in disguise sent from the fringes of the internet.

iasfeedback

 

But they also rolled out the “big guns” with letters from IAS Medal Winners. Not just ANY medal winners (not going to hear from Peter Schless or Rena Weinberg…) — exclusively from the full time IAS shills who spend their lives helping to fleece people in order to collect their commissions.

bruce w anniv lettergreg c anniv letterjeff p anniv lettermdr anniv letter

Nothing like a few trite form letters to stir the masses into a frenzy of enthusiasm…

 

Another Silly Letter

Brandy Harrison letting the cliches fly.

I wonder why the other ideal orgs in Silicon Valley are not “juggernauts of delivery and dissemination”? How is this one going to be different? Because it’s behind a 20 foot wall next to the Freeway in a cul de sac at the end of an office park that nobody can find?

svint

Rah rah rah rah…. I wonder if Brandy has a cheerleader outfit and some pom-poms to wave around?

Maybe she should try using a spellchecker along with her cliche finder…. Nothing like a managment speaker (funny, even when I type that it is underlined in red?)

svint

Judging from how this event is shaping up, she would NOT be out of place if she shows up dressed as a cheerleader…

 

 

Ideal Org Icon Speaks

You have to ask yourself why Mr Ideal Org Icon and his partner don’t expand the Mountain View ORG and thereby generate the money to renovate their new building? Isn’t that some “Key LRH data” that should be applied here? The “good stuff” that leads to expansion?

svev

 

 

Match Game

If anyone can guess which morning it is that they play the “match game” each week, they will win their own deep fried kool aid treat.

Hint — it is not Friday through Wednesday….

match game 5

 

 

Columbus

This is pretty sad. But it IS representative of the vast majority of orgs on earth.

These photos are their “highlights”…

I wonder how far the money in that little girl’s piggy bank is going to go?

columbus

 

We will pay you $1000 to $2000 a week

If this is true, how come they don’t have every scientologist west of the Mississippi joining their staff?

And how come no org anywhere on planet earth can pay even a subsistence wage — let alone $100,000 per year?

But then again, I am told by a reliable source (I could not be bothered to take the time to look myself) that they do not mention Scientology or LRH on their Mission website. Perhaps this is the secret to their success? And will this be the new RTC standard for a “model mission”?

Methinks this might be stretching the truth just a little, in typical scientology style.

Otherwise known as lying.

 

Screenshot (59)

 

 

Seriously?

This guy is really the LRH Comm of the magnificent Continental Ideal Org in Australia?

He is incapable of writing coherent sentences.

And his pitch is that the offices are warm in winter and cool in summer and the lights turn themselves off automatically.

This is who is going to “achieve the Aims of Scientology in the near future for real”?

Somehow, I think not.

It’s also an interest commentary on the importance of “keeping LRH tech pure” in today’s scientology. I guarantee you the David Miscavige (RTC) Rep doesn’t look and sound like this guy…

chad-recruitmane4

 

 

Regraded Being

Money1money2money3money4money5

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: IAS, Ideal Orgs, public relations, Scientology Idle Orgs

Comments

  1. tetloj says

    October 24, 2014 at 3:34 am

    Only one exclamation mark from Brandy. I am disappoint.

    Reply
  2. deathtoallpoliticians says

    October 24, 2014 at 1:53 am

    hello and good day, mr. rinder. first off, your loss of family makes me profoundly sad. i cannot bear to think where or who i would be without my family. i assume that there has been no further contact with your son, benjamin? as a kid who hates his mother but absolutely adores his father (my only real parent since my mother is a scumbag), i cannot imagine what you are going though. please, as such a son, please, please, please do not give up your efforts to rescue your son from the heck that is the co$. one day, he will be forever grateful for everything you have done and sacrificed to save him. i have to take a break for a second to wipe the tears from my eyes….your strength gives me strength. while i am no member, or ex-member, of the co$, your struggles remind me of what my father went through to rescue us from my biatch of a mother…he had to pay $20,000 cash in the early 80’s to “buy” full time custody from my mother. some mother, huh? she used me and my older brother as leverage against my father to get money. i still spit at her feet every time her name is mentioned. you remind me of my father in that you are fighting against all odds, willing to do whatever is necessary, to rescue your family from the cult of co$ and the evil dwarvenfurher. i wish you nothing but the best, my friend…

    Reply
  3. Jenni Gyffyn says

    October 24, 2014 at 12:39 am

    Hi there from an ex staff member who was part of the original conversion in 1976-81 from a Group to a Mission to a Class IV Org in Canberra, Australia. I left Scientology in 81 and returned in 2006. Now I’m $300,000 poorer and totally disenchanted. Mike, you are a breath of fresh air! If I was to write down all my upsets and the occurrences I personally have come across of out tech and sheer stand-over tactics from registrars (and let’s not even START on Flag, the so-called mecca of perfection), I would be typing here for the next 3 weeks. An old ex-Scientology friend of mine warned me in 1980 “Don’t let Scientologists get between you and Scientology”. Wish I’d listened to him. Anyway, thank you for injecting a dose of reality into these jumped up power crazies.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      October 24, 2014 at 8:08 am

      Hi Jenni. Nice to see you here. Always happy to welcome another from Oz.

      Reply
  4. Joe Pendleton says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Hmmmmmm ….. Brandy in a cheerleaders outfit ….. removing one piece at a time as you increase your status … and finally … “Brandy Does Valley” …. MAYBE I would go to the event to see that video but …. don’t have me event card … drats!

    Reply
  5. Hallie Jane says

    October 23, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Brandy’s shermanspeak is excellent……she’s been practicing.

    Reply
  6. Sammy says

    October 23, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    Why do all these costumed dono event pictures always look like it’s backstage time at the Middle School Parent’s Night play?

    Reply
    • Delilah says

      October 24, 2014 at 12:20 am

      Sammy,
      It looks like backstage time at the Middle School Parent’s Night play, because that is precisely what it is…

      Reply
  7. Eagle Eye says

    October 23, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Of course you can make one thousand or two thousand a week. That’s if you count the commissions you’ll make from pouncing on the public for “donations”. That’s only, of course, if you’re allowed to keep them.
    Oooor, it might come to two thousand if you count the money value of the bridge you’ll be getting for “free”.
    They’re not really lying. They’ll explain all that to you when you go in to apply.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      October 23, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      🙂

      Reply
  8. Hiatus57 says

    October 23, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    “A new OT civilizaton that is changing the world”

    Really?

    So the societies are getting better, crime is going down Bank and Governments debts are not going to collapse the entire finanaces of the world then?

    This planet is the in worst state financially, socially, politically, and climate wise than in its entire history.

    The dwindling spiral is like a whirlpool sucking it all down, and the Dwarf is like Nero fiddling (and I do mean fiddling $$$$$) while Rome burns.

    We are getting the LRH data on expansion?

    Little Napoleon has collapsed Org expansion and Scientology like a neutron star.

    Yet they still actually believe what they are told every few days.

    Does the Dwarf never take a day off and give the public a rest from his bullshit?

    It’s a never ending chain of events promising everything and delivering nothing.

    LRH set up the Orgs to deliver Dianetics and Scientology.

    The Dwarf has reversed this entire dream and turned it all into a nightmare.

    The IAS are nothing more than abunch of lying, thieving criminals and have nothing to do with LRH or Scientology.

    But, if the Borg Drones keep turning up and coughing up $$$$$’s it will go on I suppose.

    At least they are not getting any of my dosh.

    Reply
    • Leonore says

      October 24, 2014 at 6:22 am

      Hiatus57,
      I have a hunch a lot of us who are more or less UTR or OTR (off the radar) agree with you. Some good lines in your rant! I especially like: “Little Napoleon has collapsed org expansion and Scientology like a neutron star” and “The Dwarf has reversed this entire dream and turned it into a nightmare.” So true.

      Reply
      • Hiatus57 says

        October 25, 2014 at 11:58 am

        Most Kind of you to say Leonore.

        Ones strives to ass some humour to this abomination that is passed off as Tech by this tiny little SP

        Reply
  9. pedrofcuk says

    October 23, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    “Announced at this event were PRACTICAL steps to address the ruins that stand in the way to GLOBAL clearing.”

    Okay, okay, I know what it says but can anyone explain what it really means? Let me try; Something, a ruin, or more than one, stands in the way of GLOBAL clearing. What could that be, apart from common sense and no money? Unless they mean the new… ah, now I get it. But if they know what the ruin standing in the way is, now, how come they didn’t address that problem before? Oh, never mind.

    Reply
  10. Cece says

    October 23, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    The reply tab doesn’t show –
    This is to Kelly Reno, Welcome out. Is Fred out with you? Hugs Cece Kruchko (now smith)

    Reply
  11. scnethics says

    October 23, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    The LRH Comm regarding being on staff – “…you are being supported and monitored more regularly than anyone, in my opinion.” MONITORED for sure. They watchin’ Chad Tippapart like Thanksgiving turkey! Now if they were SUPPORTING him, someone would have edited what he wrote before publishing it. Oh wait, no one there is qualified to do that. Nevermind.

    Reply
  12. De-attested ObedientThetan says

    October 23, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    Wow Kelly Reno! I think your post got buried because it was a reply and your post didn’t allow me to reply to it, otherwise I think it would have had a lot more attention already. Were/are you married to Fred Reno? Did you used to have IAS fundraisers at your house? If so, it takes a lot to go from being that far down the rabbit hole to using your real name here and I admire that. Same for you Alex Ortiz and any other recent people who have come forward that I haven’t seen get acknowledged.

    I don’t know if I’ll be able to use my real name anytime soon because of complicated family issues. In the meantime I wish it was possible to know how many UTRs there are out there waiting to come forward. I really think that if church members just knew how much money the church really has (and based on their own IRS filings now available online at SMP), that alone would get scientologists and even staff members questioning the URGENCY that gets pushed on them at every turn to either pay or raise money. They would soon see that it is all just manufactured urgency and that the IAS/scientology doesn’t need their money for any of the causes/purposes that are being promoted. As Mike Rinder has pointed out, if the campaigns were so urgent, vital and world changing, they would use the billions they have in storage to fund them rather than let the money/assets sit doing nothing while using all their personnel resources to collect new money!

    I believe that in order for the church’s undue influence and abuses to cease, it has to be destroyed from within. It won’t fully go away because there will always be the completely delusional die hards, but it will cease to have influence once enough people start asking too many questions and leaving. So Kelly, if you still have that database of the people you guys would invite to your house for IAS fundraisers, maybe that mailing list needs a new email sent to it with the church’s 990-T tax documents attached 🙂

    Reply
    • indie8million says

      October 25, 2014 at 10:45 am

      Obedient Thetan – I agree with you. I wish that there was a list where we could use our alias’ and say that we’re UTR but out.

      That would make Miscavige even MORE furious AND cause MWH phenomena constantly. If he saw an UTR 500 list, everyone around him would miss his withhold (not that they don’t now) and he would feel that he was surrounded by “traitors” and SPs at every event. heh heh

      Reply
    • cindy says

      October 25, 2014 at 1:53 pm

      And attach the Debbie Cook letter and send it.

      Reply
  13. Chee chalker says

    October 23, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    The LRH Comm man (pun not intended) in Australia….. His sad little office reminds me if Murray Hewitt’s office in the New Zealand Consulate’s Office (for all you Flight of the Conchords fans)

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      October 23, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Great show!

      Reply
    • hgc10 says

      October 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

      Awesome. Murray rocks. The humans are dead.

      Reply
  14. Doug Sprinkle says

    October 23, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    I wouldn’t be too sure about your friend not hearing from them. my experience has been they don’t give up that easily. I had had no contact from them since around 1992 when they called out of the blue in 2011. I was told they were updating their mailing list. The calls continued for close to two years before they finally gave up.
    I actually wish they would start calling again, I used to enjoy laughing at them when they would call.

    Reply
    • Lordburg12 says

      October 24, 2014 at 3:08 am

      My fondest memory of being a recipient of AO callers is the day I told the reg that I would return for service in the church the day David Miscavige and all his cronies resigned or, preferably, were removed forcibly from post and jailed. Never got another phone call or piece of mail after that.

      Reply
      • Odd Thomas says

        October 24, 2014 at 7:52 pm

        +1 🙂

        Reply
  15. Cooper Kessel says

    October 23, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Ideal Pimps: Bruce, Greg, Jeff and Michael.

    Watch for the new IAS publication ‘Ideal Lies’ by Oliver Romanoff care of the scninfocenter@scientology.net

    I guess a flyer such as this goes right on by the average Joe kool aide consumer. You would think that it was common knowledge within the cult that no one but no one would be allowed into the tent with Dear Leader without their ‘papers’ and preapproval by the gestappo known as OSA. Since when is a public going to wander by and stop in for a fleecing much less write a memo about how wonderful it all is. Gheeesh!

    Furthermore, the whole activity is a boatload of Daveshit! I cannot believe that it is still happening. The cult mentality is so over the top that it kicks in cognitive dissonance for me that people actually buy into it! And to think that my daughter continues to get a daily dose of this crap as she slowly is turned into another Jenny working for the cult. I need to throw up now!

    I’m done. Had to rant a tad …thanks for listening!

    Reply
    • Hallie Jane says

      October 23, 2014 at 11:04 pm

      Rant away Coop, it’s your God given right! I hope you can find it in your heart to help your daughter when she shows up exhausted, confused and broken. It’s so heartbreaking to see so many parents in this situation. And some kids too. I wish you patience and peace and hope she comes to her senses soon.

      Reply
      • Cooper J Kessel says

        October 24, 2014 at 8:41 am

        Thanks Hallie. Haley will always have a place to call home although she will need to come to her senses before I pass because the cult will receive no further benefits from any of my ‘human labor’!

        Reply
  16. McCarran says

    October 23, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    All of those letters from IAS Freedom Medal Winners are the same ole same ole. There are so many reasons why, as Mark Headley so aptly stated, “Everybody leaves.” This is one of them.

    Regraded Being, your sarcastic wit is so great. I can see one of your comic strips of a beginning scientologist getting a letter like this, to 5 years later getting the same letter the 1000th time, walking away. Love your depiction of the tone level going down from start to finish. So funny.

    Reply
    • Cooper Kessel says

      October 23, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      +100

      Reply
  17. Science Doc says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:59 am

    The lights in the Sydney Ideal Org will all automatically turn themselves off when the electric bill is late.

    Reply
  18. Doug Sprinkle says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:45 am

    This might be a little off topic but a few months ago I got a letter from the IAS asking me to join the Sea Org. After I got through having a good laugh I thought it was really odd. I never was a staff member and quit going for any services around 1991.
    Furthermore I thought they wanted young people in the Sea Org, I am 50.
    Do they typically try to recruit just anybody to join the Sea Org?

    Reply
    • Science Doc says

      October 23, 2014 at 12:21 pm

      Reminds me of the German Volkssturm ploy very late in WWII. Draft the old guys like us, throw in a few adolescents and other previously ineligeables, give them cast off weapons, a uniform coat, and send them to the front line with predictable results. Last gasp tactics.

      Reply
    • McCarran says

      October 23, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      No, they are just trying any means possible to get you to answer. To get you to communicate to them in any way possible. It’s probably a stat, “Oh Look! Joe Blow told me to fuck off! Yay! I got a response!”

      I have a friend who last took a course when she was 11. She is now in her late 20’s and she was recently getting calls asking how she liked her last course. She hadn’t ever heard from them before and from what she told them in their last call to her, my guess is that she’ll never hear from them again.

      Reply
      • Zephyr says

        October 23, 2014 at 3:58 pm

        “Letters IN” is definitely a stat for the letter registrar. There is no qualifier if the content is good or
        ‘f*** you’!
        Greta

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:34 pm

        “No, they are just trying any means possible to get you to answer.”

        Funny, because in the past year I’ve been tempted to respond very impertinently to the invitations I still get to join SO as well as to the surveys they’ve sent, and each time I filled in my answers and had a good laugh and then soon after ripped it up and didn’t send it.

        Now that I know that a returned comm no matter how insulting, is still a stat, I’m so glad I never answered.

        Reply
  19. Zzzzzzz says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:31 am

    I don’t understand the Village People showing up at these fundraiser events. I don’t understand the silver knot
    as part of the LRH Comm’s necktie. It’s all too weird. Must be Miscavige’s ideas.

    Reply
    • Zzzzzzz says

      October 23, 2014 at 11:34 am

      I do understand the Regraded Being cartoon.

      Reply
      • Kelly Reno says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:09 pm

        It made me sad for those still living the nightmare. That’s how life was before I got out of the bloodsucker cult. This is no joke. PS – I’m posting with my real name today to elicit an official “declare” on myself. I’m so disgusted to have ever supported this sick group and am proud to be out.

        Reply
      • Cooper Kessel says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:19 pm

        Good on ya Kelly!

        ” I’m so disgusted to have ever supported this sick group and am proud to be out.”

        A BIG AMEN TO THAT!

        Reply
      • Zzzzzzz says

        October 23, 2014 at 5:43 pm

        Way to go Kelly Reno. So happy to see you are standing tall.

        Reply
      • tony-b says

        October 23, 2014 at 6:50 pm

        Congratulations Kelly. Welcome to the sunshine.

        Reply
      • aegerprimo says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:26 pm

        Wow Kelly! You are awesome. You will find it’s great out here in the “WOG” world.

        Reply
        • Kelly Reno says

          October 23, 2014 at 9:54 pm

          I’ve been out for a while. But thanks for your good wishes. Life is good indeed.

          Reply
          • Mike Rinder says

            October 23, 2014 at 10:57 pm

            🙂

            Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:26 pm

        Bravo, Kelly Reno, and welcome! You got guts. And a great name, too, btw.

        Reply
      • mwesten says

        October 24, 2014 at 3:04 am

        Woop woop! Go Kelly! You rock!!!

        Reply
    • Hallie Jane says

      October 23, 2014 at 10:56 pm

      Bravo Kelly! Zzzzzz, your village people comment was hilarious. What IS with all these costumed fund raisers that we’ve seen for awhile? I think that things got SO serious with all the vulture culture, that someone had a bright idea that they should mock up some fun to appear acceptable. If it’s a costume party well then, who would mind mortgaging their house or emptying their bank account? I’m not usually cynical but I’ll bet this is as fake as everything else.

      Reply
    • indie8million says

      October 25, 2014 at 1:57 am

      Hi Kelly Reno! I thought you were out a couple of years ago but I didn’t want to mention it til you did! Please ask Mike for my address and write me. I’m out but still under the radar for certain reasons. Working in my own way to plant seeds and move forward.

      Can’t wait to hear from you.

      Reply
      • cindy says

        October 25, 2014 at 1:44 pm

        Welcome to the sunshine Kelly Reno! So glad you made it out. Please publish more of your story. What was your “Aha! moment” that got you to start looking?

        Reply
  20. Aquamarine says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:30 am

    They use the declarative mode: Not “You can earn $1000-$2000 per week”. Not “It is possible to earn as much as $1000- $2000 per week.”

    No, its pure and simple, declarative mode: “We WILL (emphasis mine) pay you $1000-$2000 per week.”

    Can you believe this bald-faced-lying come-on which additionally promises free Bridge and and free training?

    Desperate times call for desperate huge lies, apparently.

    How I’d love to get one of these guys on the phone to find out the bait and switch they’re planning.

    Wouldn’t it be funny to help this mission by posting these flyers all over the place in this mission’s area? Send these flyers to the local unemployment bureau! That should do it. There’s a real job shortage out there. Thousands of people would respond to a job offer of $1000-$2000 per week, “no experience necessary, we will train”. Don’t forget, it doesn’t say that it is commission-based.

    Reply
    • clergyman says

      October 23, 2014 at 1:32 pm

      Oh no, Aqua, that’s real good proper grammar:”You can earn $1000-$2000 per week”. You just need to add the Invisibility font to your computer so you can see the rest of the sentence (which I’ll put in ital to save you time and money*.)

      It really says: “You can earn $1000-$2000 per week when you are upstat on 3 wk trend plus the current week and are not under HCO investigation or lower condition assignment, and a whale has been sunk.

      The line following reads (in Double Invisibility font):Ha, ha…Like, never, dupe!!!

      *Invisibility font available at @#$%.c o m for 4K Bitcoins or 1oz., 99% pure Unobtainium. No refunds.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:22 pm

        Aha! Invisibility Font Tech! Who knew? Thanks, Clergyman. Looks like I’ll need to keep my wog job.

        Reply
      • cre8tivewmn says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:59 pm

        Unobtainium? I knew SOMEONE else watched that movie!

        Reply
  21. Eileen says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:28 am

    The medic left his post and “forgot” he was supposed to be on duty. Then decided that he didn’t need to be at his post, so just kept watching the event. Perfect candidate for scientology, he is easily hypnotized.

    Reply
  22. J Peasemould Gruntfuttock says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:15 am

    The otherwise anonymous deputy mayor of East Grinstead who is quoted gushing so unconvincingly in that first flyer in fact appears to be one Dick Sweatman (Tory councillor for Herontye ward in the town): http://www.eastgrinstead.gov.uk/articles/news/2014/05/biographies-of-new-town-mayor-nick-hodges-and-his-deputy-dick-sweatman/

    Not that I’m suggesting for one second anyone should send him a copy of that flyer and ask why, if it does quote him accurately, he appears to be quite so sycophantic towards a cult that is almost universally loathed by the citizens of East Grinstead: d.sweatman@eastgrinstead.gov.uk

    Reply
  23. Jose Chung says

    October 23, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Regarded Being, excellent cartoon story.
    Lets see the upgraded your status version.
    Don’t leave out from the COBs point of view version.

    Reply
  24. Alex Ortiz says

    October 23, 2014 at 10:53 am

    Thoughts on this sunny funny Thursday…

    Jenny Devocht has probably wanted to be a reality TV star for some time. Probably jealous of Kim Kardashian or something. Jenny’s brother would never put her in anything so this airport stunt was her clever alternative to releasing a sex tape. Now she’s a star!!!! Smile Jenny!

    Think about this though…there is NO WAY that she and Yaeger are not going to get nuked over this PR flap. Even if COB ordered them to do it (which I believe) the flap of the whole thing will still be blamed on the two of them. Their antics are almost certainly going to help push Mosey’s case forward. These two will get officially RPF’ed, or put back in the whole, or worse. How about the idea that whatever punishment is meted out to them might actually be enough to put them over the edge and get them to blow?

    Could get VERY interesting…

    Reply
    • DollarMorgue says

      October 23, 2014 at 11:33 am

      Miscavige might offer them up as human sacrifices to the court.

      Reply
      • cindy says

        October 23, 2014 at 2:09 pm

        Dollar M, how interesting. I never thought of it that way. Maybe this is just DM’s ploy to set up Jenny and Marc etc so that he can tell the judge in the Mosey trial that they are the cause of all the bad stalking and that he has already “fired” them and “punished them” and that he can’t believe they would represent our church in that horrible way…. “…Why I almost don’t even know them…” he’ll say. Maybe that is the grander scheme to throw them under the bus in order to show that he didn’t order any stalking and he wants nothing to do with them.

        Reply
      • DollarMorgue says

        October 23, 2014 at 3:03 pm

        Possibly. However, he cannot escape his own boredom, which drives him to ever crazier excesses. Sooner or later he will make one or more mistakes that will be traced directly back to him. He will deny everything, of course, but he is running out of credible pawns to sacrifice.

        Reply
      • McCarran says

        October 23, 2014 at 3:25 pm

        Gosh, Cindy! What a unique idea for someone in the church of scientology to be thrown under the bus!

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      October 23, 2014 at 11:48 am

      Interesting, what you’re saying about Yaeger and Jenny Linson, Alex.

      One of the Bunkerites has a theory that their incident with Marty at the airport was a deliberate set up of these execs by David Miscavige to furnish evidence in preparation for his throwing them under the bus as the rogues, off-policy execs, etc., responsible for all types of out-ethics for which the church is being sued, possibly even making these execs the fall guys for the Squirrel Busters.

      Reply
      • Alex Ortiz says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:01 pm

        That’s a pretty great theory. Wouldn’t surprise me. Two of the most senior execs in SCN creating such an obvious PR snafu…seems almost two much to believe.

        But then again, sending the inch wives to CNN was hard to believe as well.

        Reply
      • Jens TINGLEFF says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:02 pm

        Seriously, and someone who has read the filings will be able to correct me, but it was my impression that CSI has been named as the body behind the harassment of Monique. And Marc Yager was/is the head of CSI. And I bet Marc Yager has even heard of the state of Texas…

        Simple.

        Reply
      • Jens TINGLEFF says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:03 pm

        (Sorry, my previous comment should have started with “waves hand”)

        Reply
      • Cooper Kessel says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:16 pm

        I like it!

        Reply
      • Alex Ortiz says

        October 23, 2014 at 1:32 pm

        Jens, you are right. RTC’s lawyers said CSI was the source of the squirrel busters, and CSI has plenty of cash, so no reason to sue RTC or depose DM.

        Marc and Jenny are both CSI execs so maybe DM saw this as no big risk.

        Separately, when I was Tech CS ASHOD, Yaeger came through on a pro forma walk through, bored as hell, hands in his pockets, barely paying attention (little did I know he wasn’t even really on post) and all I could think about was “why haven’t you fixed your damn teeth in the last 25 years that you’ve been CO CMO INT???”

        His teeth are embarrassing! You’d think he was literally trying to emulate LRH or something.

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        October 23, 2014 at 8:07 pm

        I don”t know him but there is something about Marc Yaeger’s expression that makes me want to cook him a hot meal with milk and cookies for dessert and then tuck him into a warm bed with a stuffed toy to hold while I read him a story as he falls asleep. Laugh if you will but I’m actually not being funny. I don’t know him or what he’s done to others. Its his face, the eyes, maybe – a little boy, a lost, lonely soul – that’s what I see. Very sad – to me, anyway.

        Reply
    • Hingle McCringleberry says

      October 23, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      Great observation! I’ve seen the name Linson as producers on a couple of shows, notably Sons of Anarchy. Is there really a relation?

      Its hilarious how such a ridiculous, wildly exaggerated small group that’s utterly bereft of credibility can implode so loudly. My new favorite analogy is its like being one of the survivors on the Walking Dead, except the zombies stop and make you sign a bunch of forms before tearing you to pieces.

      Reply
      • Mike Rinder says

        October 23, 2014 at 2:56 pm

        John is producer of SOA, he is Jenny’s brother.

        Art is the producer of The Untouchables and a lot of other films. He is her father.

        Reply
  25. Science Doc says

    October 23, 2014 at 9:53 am

    “It is unbelievable”. “Truly unbelievable”. Yep, trust your instincts.

    Reply
  26. Graham says

    October 23, 2014 at 9:50 am

    “Medic on duty at the event grounds (Not a Scientologist)”. Why is this duty being undertaken by a “wog”? What’s wrong with the Volunteer Ministers and their magic touch assists?

    Reply
    • Jack 99 says

      October 23, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      The nameless IAS event feedback is clearly written by the same person, and it’s clearly a scientologist.

      Reply
      • scientology411 says

        October 23, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        I’m not a Scientologist but this event was so theta! I blew huge chunks of mental masses just listening to your wonderful chairman of the board!!! How much does it cost to join your fine organization?

        Reply
      • Martin Padfield says

        October 23, 2014 at 6:59 pm

        411 – that was brilliant 🙂

        Reply
    • Cooper Kessel says

      October 23, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      “Medic on duty at the event grounds (Not a Scientologist)”.

      Yea right! And he had an IAS card to boot so he was allowed in to hear Daveshit for brains. Goodness, the hubris exceeds the imagination.

      Reply
      • jgg2012 says

        October 23, 2014 at 3:41 pm

        Funny, there was no medic on duty in the Narconon cases.

        Reply
  27. Shelley says

    October 23, 2014 at 9:12 am

    Some good reading here Mike. An assortment of amusement and black comedy.

    Sorry but I couldn’t help thinking how much the LRH Comm in Aus looks like a character from The Hobbit. And as for his statement about staff going up the bridge because they are “more monitored” than anyone else is just plain scary.

    Loved the comic strip! 🙂

    Reply
  28. Robert Almblad says

    October 23, 2014 at 9:02 am

    $1,000 to $2,000 a week??? OMG
    The Church’s modus operandi has become: “No one will come if you tell the truth! So, just lie and lie and keep on lying. If that does not work, then tell an even bigger lie! Get the crashing stats up now, now, now!!! Follow our leader COB! He ONLY lies at events with big fat whoopers!!! This is the new senior policy: lie and keep on lying and get the MONEY!!!!!!!”

    Reply
    • hgc10 says

      October 23, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      I can see the trend. I have long said that the only way COB can keep this thing going is to start paying people cash money to be Scientologists. Perhaps paying staff a living wage in this mission is a feint in that direction. But then, the chances that they’re really paying that well are somewhere between nil and nada.

      Reply
    • Nada says

      October 24, 2014 at 9:21 am

      $100,000 per year as staff? Even if it were true ( suspend your disbelief while you indulge me for a sec:) you’d have no TIME to enjoy it! You finally want to go to those beautiful restaurants, but you have to be on post. You want to go look at houses to buy; no time!! You would like to get your hair done, buy some nice clothes, go to a movie or a vacation? FORGET ABOUT IT-we have a planet to clear. Now hand over all your earnings to buy your bridge! Wait-isn’t that supposed to be free for staff?! Good luck getting your CSW approved to get in session-besides, you’re already OT (no case on post)-start acting like it and make it go right!

      Reply
      • Jenni Gyffyn says

        October 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm

        And do it by 2 p.m!

        Reply

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