Bring the kids
So we can reg their parents. You may have heard of a “honey trap” — this is a “candy trap.”
A Treasure Hunt
Guess whose treasure is being hunted?
And filmed by SMP!
The problem is you think a building is what will make this happen? Because that’s what they told you… perhaps you should check out Jobur or Pretoria and see just how “with a bang” things are going there.
This is convincing…
Not really. “People” actually won’t be impressed. Though the outfits are pretty arresting.
Shocking general unawareness of scientology
Translation: “everyone thinks we are a destructive cult.”
They give no reason at all
Translation: to get the Regges to leave our house.
Bring your favorite LRH quote…
If I was going there are a couple I can think of about fundraising and buildings that would be fun to present…
Even less convincing
Saying nothing at all is probably more convincing than this weak sauce. They’re not even willing to say it IS the greatest good. Again, more likely it was easier to hand over some money than fight the regges.
Aspire to the most important role in the Sea Org…
Ideal Org Fundraiser
Damning with Faint Praise
Apparently this is the ONLY Purif Comp they have. Because almost anyone could write a better forced “success” than this. She already attested before. But decided “no more purif for me”…
A Sane Planet
Yeah, that’s a little way off yet.
You guys know that there are no other countries in Africa that even have a single org (Zimbabwe no longer counts, their two orgs are derelict). You might start with a sane continent. Then again even your country is a long way rom sane. Or your city. Or neighborhood.
Can you name any difference that anyone can see?
The Christmas Regges will be waiting to steal your stocking….
Be Inspired. Be Merry. Be Amazed. Be There.
TO BE REGGED!!
Forgot about Hurricane Michael already right?
Begging for bonuses…
This is just sad.
It’s Christmas time and you need an E-Meter!!
It’s that time of year to audit out those implants about Christ.
Well, if this is about achieving your goals in the MEST universe…
Obviously it has nothing to do with scientology which is a spiritual journey right?
The old crim SO Tours Reg is now going to teach you what exactly?
You do know LRH is dead right?
Like more than 30 years ago now…
No questions will be left unanswered…
Just one: How much have you been paid TOTAL in 2018 so far?
Opening a New Mission is an Adventure…
It’s why he has been in the same mission for 18 years and has never opened another one.
Photoshop Grand Prize
Whoever did this to this woman owes her a lifetime of apologies.
Just stand there and postulate it into your hands…
Status Whore Alert
Come for the regging
Stay for a lesson on graphic design by the person who created this poster….
Au contraire, Karen Downing. I think you have done more than enough to show the world what it is you do:
Jere Lull (38 years recovering.) says
Great sentiments, scribe
Odds that Karen Downing is in ethics for spreading entheta?
Mel J. says
Re: Dennis Glynne
This is the main one, but in several of these posts, I want to write to the people and help them construct better sentences. This specific post feels like a 2nd grader trying to construct a sentence to show that they know how to use a word. It is sad how little Scientology puts into education. (I understand why they don’t care about education.)
Re: Karen Downing facebook post
I really would LOVE to read the survey comments. Can someone get those for us. haha
Re: Bring your favorite quote
Unfair to tease us that way Mike, by saying there are a few you’d bring but not telling us what they are so we can laugh with you. 😉
Re: Financial Enhancement Seminar
He “literally started two of his businesses in the garage.” After he started one in the garage, did it take or did it move to a proper building? You would think he’d start his next business in a different building. Or he isn’t a great businessman to start a failed business and then start another one. :/
Re: Opening a new mission is an adventure
As an editor, it hurts my head that the quote under his photo uses beginning ” but has no end. So he must be holding his breath? OHHH I see in the connected piece that there are a lot of beginning quote marks but no endings. I need an aspirin.
I.A.S. – It’s All Shit.
So, if you’ve already spen…wasted $10k on a Mark Ultra VIII meter they want you to get in on the never-to-be-repeated-until-the-next-time special and gladly (robotically?) pay $15k for another two meters? Their generosity almost brings tears to my eyes.
Couldn’t be bothered commenting on the rest of the rubbish.
Susan Krieg says
I have never been, nor will I ever be a Scientologist (or known one personally). I was told as a teenager while walking by one of their storefronts offering a “free personality test” or something of the like by my Mom that it was a cult and to not even think about it.
Ever since, I’ve been curious about the organization. My interest grew even more seeing the shenanigans of that whack job Tom Cruise on Oprah, his fight with Brooke Shields, etc. I watched the Going Clear documentary, which showed what a dangerous place it really was, headed by a megalomaniac with Napoleons Complex.
I commend you and Leah Remini for doing what you’re doing and all the people who have had the courage to come forward. Their “attacks” against you, Leah, and others are further proof of what they are really about.
I was looking forward to the NOI holiday special.
N.O.I. – No Obvious Intelligence?
I just had visions of Tony Muhammed reading the Christmas story for the public at the Clearwater Xmas villiage.
Ann Davis says
Kyle you’re on fire. My first laugh of the day! TY.
J.T. Marsh (@jtmarshauthor) says
Is ‘battered women’s shelter’ just their new euphemism for The Hole?
Peggy L says
When I was looking for something special to give someone I came across this saying. (I don’t think there’s a copyright on it) I thought of the people here:
YOU ARE BRAVER
than you think
THAN YOU SEEM
AND LOVED MORE
than you knew
That’s lovely, Peggy. I just copied it.
Peggy L says
Come and take courses to help give the staff a bonus!
Note to staff: We will be collecting for COB’s gift next payday!
I can’t believe what they are charging for e meters, for something that costs a tiny fraction of that to build, can’t be sold on and will doubtless soon be obsolete when they decide it’s time to make more money with yet another super duper ‘improved’ model. My worthless Mark 7 went out with the trash, something I paid $4000 for, and that was supposed to be a special deal! It really is all about money isn’t it. People who believe in this nonsense are being ripped off and put in financial difficulties due to scientology’s greed.
Overun in California says
I’m sorry, but WHAT?! E-meters are over $7,000 each now?! Obviously the Church of Scientology doesn’t really want anyone to audit anyone else. If it’s so important to clear this planet, why does the COS make it so out of reach for just about everyone to do so? Sure, you know if you really like gum, and you sell some Wrigley’s spearmint gum for $1,000.00 per pack, you probably will sell one or two packs. But not many will be chewin that gum.
Sell the meters at cost. Which is probably about $20 bucks or so. Maybe the COS wants to make sure that only the really brainwashed end up with the meters. Well this is definitely a way to do that.
Christian denominations are really missing the boat here. With a few simple steps, they too could be rolling in cash.
1. Declare it mandatory that every Christian must have a bible.
2. Produce the Golden Age of Holiness 1&2. Because it is obvious that maliciously inserted comas and semicolons have led to tremendous misunderstandings of Jesus’ true intentions.
3. Price these new indispensable works at $7,000 each.
Ann Davis says
Hello Mr. David Miscavige, COB of scientology.
How were your Thursday stats?
Why are your parking lots empty?
Why all the security cameras and barbed wire?
Why do your members look so distraught?
Oh yeah, and WHERE’S SHELLEY?
Well done SIR!
Mother Hubbard says
Now here’s a conundrum – Durban and Cape Town were both having fundraising events on the same night … so assuming there are approximately 80 serious scientologists in South Africa (about 68 live in Johannesburg) who the hell was attending these 2 events? Durban is a 6 hour drive from Johannesburg and Cape Town is 16 hours away. Perhaps some out of body super powers will help the Joburg faithful and their wallets teleport from one event to the next –
Sooo….they are offering the FIRST 100 kids that come to their Christmas Festival a FREE gift from Santa?
Yes, folks…the first 100 kiddies receives a FREE copy of “The Way To Happiness” book…autographed by Xenu.
I was wondering Mike….since David meters out physical abuse, or has OTHERS meter out physical abuse on HIS orders…..would the person who meters out this abuse be viewed as an “accomplice”…..could they face criminal charges if this was a recent event for committing a physical assault on another person?
Ann Davis says
One of my friends who doesn’t follow scientology told me this week she read that TC carried out orders of physical violence on scientology executives by DM’s orders. UK news I think. I had not heard this. Anyone else?
If this is true, I can’t wait to see the victim of this physical abuse appear on Aftermath.
If any UTC scientologist ever produces the video or recording of such abuse by a useful idiot celebrity, that person will be a millionaire overnight.
WORK ON ATTAINING IT all you wonderful UTC people! Please secretly record any unpleasantness you experience in scientology. Expose this criminal organization!
I saw this at the Daily Beast earlier this morning (11/30). It was linked – prominently – from this article about Tuesday night’s “Aftermath” season opener: https://www.thedailybeast.com/one-womans-daring-escape-from-scientology-i-wanted-to-end-my-life?source=twitter&via=desktop
Here is the Tom Cruise mention: https://www.thedailybeast.com/leah-remini-tom-cruise-personally-punished-fellow-scientologists . This latter article is dated Nov. 21, 2018.
This is a fairly visible news site that does a decent amount of its own investigative journalism. I didn’t catch the interview in question, but you can bet it’s the next place I’ll go.
Ann Davis says
rivercs Thank you for this! TC, what a tool!
Ann Davis says
Ellen M, save your money for your adorable child!
That’s what I thought when I looked at the photo, too! It really looks like that child needs surgery/glasses to correct a lazy eye. No “touch assist” is going to correct that. *deep sigh and prayers for the boy*
Ann Davis says
I was shocked to see the part about collecting coats! Of course that’s no sweat off their balls.
JERRY MCGUIRE says
keep up the good work mike
Discounted emeters? Discounted?
Discounted is a relative term. Let’s talk about real life for the average Joe.
We put a really decent down payment on our home and had a 15 year mortgage on it. Before we paid it off, our ANNUAL mortgage payment was just over $20,000.00. A 2019 Chevrolet Sonic MSRP Base price is $15,420.
Just think, for a new car, I could have 2 emeters at the discounted price, or for a little over 1/15th of a house, I could have 3 new discounted emeters with about $150 worth of electronics in them AND a set of solo cans thrown in.
The really sad part about this is that the people making those posters have no concept of real money or real life. They have their rice and beans paid for and their bed which they never get to sleep in paid for as well, and believe that the see these flyers to have access to unlimited funds just like David Miscavige.
The “First Meter” ad says the solo cans are a free gift. It doesn’t mention the suggested retail price. When I bought an e-meter in the mid 1970’s it cost $125 which might have been a few days or a week of take home pay at my wog job and soup cans worked just fine.
I read somewhere that the overall cost of living in 1970 has increased 7 times to what it is today. If that’s accurate then $875 today might be considered a reasonable (haha) price for an e-meter although most of them would end up in the trash anyway.
I never bought into clearing the planet. Even in the 1970’s with about half as many people on earth as there are today the math didn’t work. My concept might have been closer the flyer with “My Help Makes The (a) Difference.” I can see that people with more Utopian dreams than myself might buy into clearing the planet or creating a new civilization and so on and join the sea org or give donations or whatever.
The pretty girl from Tampa is smiling but has sad eyes. 🙁
Why do I have the feeling that the free gift for children at the Christmas party is a coloring book version of The Way to Happiness?
This Really shows their Desperation . . . . . . Discounted E-Meters ! ! ! ! !
Love the hands folded in front Mitch – shows real strength and definitely the surveyed power pose, but the smile takes away from the overall effect; better a smirk like COB. I guess the music took a backseat, huh? Hey, speaking of Dave, why not CSW him to replace his dad at Gold – you could make a stellar contribution to planetary clearing as lead guitarist for the Jive Asses!
Meryl Weiner says
Jive Asses!!!! I love it.
Will Santa Claus be sec-checking the children? “What are your crimes?!?”
My question is: how much will they be charging for the photo?
Hey, if they can do it at the mall, they can do it at the org.
Mark Foster says
Ah, good ol’ kool-aid-spelunking Mitch Talevi. An utter wanker and egotistical twat.
The Purif success story is about as bad as my routing out statement when I walked out of the NED internship I was awarded: ‘This is doing nothing for me. It is a waste of my time.’ MAA failed to dissuade me and signed me off. I walked out and did not finish the rest of the routing form.
Well, KC… you cleared your highest ranking exec. Congrats…? Only about 1,999,999 people in the metro to go!
Sharon Lonstein is talking about how to get money to just fly into your hands All her statuses on the Bridge and her donation status is listed as the reason you should listen to her. Ha! She should do a seminar on how to bag a rich Scn the minute his wife dies. That’s how she came to have the money to do the processing and donating she is listed as doing. It is her new husband’s stat, not hers.
Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says
Nailed her there, Cindy. Well Done.
Hey, don’t nag a rise!
Ctempster, not that I’m a big fan of the Lonsteins, but your info is wrong. Sharon was already well off besides being successful. I notice that you like to be the Village Gossip and weigh in with all kinds of information on other people mentioned. How do you know all these things and what gives you the right to post vicious slander?
Must make your friends nervous when they tell you something.
Kinsey, Ouch. I know something of the Lonstein’s from a friend of his who told me when his wife died the women came out of the woodwork all trying to date him immediately. My info came from a good source. However, I didn’t know your data that Sharon was already well off before marrying him. If that is the case maybe we should all go to her seminar!
Hmmm, I smell a troll.
I’m kinda surprised that they published the poster about the Purification Rundown. She practically states that it is sh**! “No more Purif for me! It’s done!”
Yes. That is startling, But a sign of desperation-ness-extremus when they will accept something that screams of ‘bad indicators’.
Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says
That wasn’t too bad.
I was at Freewinds Graduation when a lady said in her Success story that the Route to Infinity course was ” Almost as good as taking LSD.”
At least she was routed straight from the stage to Dept 3.
I wonder where the Santa Engram comes from? If the Psychs are from Farsec and Xenu is from Marcab, I guess Santa and elves come Polaris. The star, not the snowmobile company.
Mark Foster says
The Polaris snowmobile company has whole track roots in the Polaris star.
The Santa Engram originated in an El Con Blubbard rum-and-benzedrine bender.
Merry Reg Season!
David Bates says
So Ellen in Cape Town wants a kick-ass staff at her( orge.) Not mispelled. When I go to church on Sunday I really am not looking forward to someone kicking my or any family members ASS. The only ass that will be kicked, along with a few teeth, would be the staff person that ever touchrd my wife or grandkids.
And why does a cult that does not believe in Jesus Christ celebrate His holiday. Maybe the need to talk with their NOI bed partners first.
“And why does a cult that does not believe in Jesus Christ celebrate His holiday.”
Window dressing, strictly, David Bates. To give themselves the appearance of respectability. Legally they are a church in some countries. Churches are mostly some variety of Christian. Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and have crosses on their buildings usually. Its a marketing ploy, called “positioning”.
I am puzzled by Mitch Talevi. I thought that missions were decertified and discontinued prior to the 21st century. How has his mission persisted for 18 years? What entrepreneur would want to start a mission and guarantee losing money?
Also, in the “photoshopped” poster, DM must be standing in front of the woman, because the teleprompter is oriented toward him. (hee hee)
Finally, I enjoyed the snark about the last poster. If you have to admire one thing, (and you ignore content and spelling), COS makes really pretty posters. That last one is wanting.
Meadow, in the Tampa Org, was my point of contact in 2017 and early 2018 for my requests and I was actually surprised that she would openly talk to me as an SP. Nice person, but didn’t have a clue of what she was doing.
THIS JUST IN: 11-29-18, 7:30 am: Brand Mission, Alexa ranking: Global – 3,057,850; Local (Russia!) 667,518; No public traffic, just some Russian hackers. But hey, you take what you can get.
Xenu's Son says
Hey Chriss as a true SP(or PTS to the psychs)you missed the tremendous outpour of public support for the event on 22 november.
6 people apart from Mitch were there and it got a like on Facebook.
Golden-Era Parachute says
Ho Ho holy shit.
Peggy L says
LOL Golden-Era Parachute!
I hear all the Int base crews are getting their GED. (Golden Era of Dave)
Talk about other fish to fry! I’m shocked, I tellya.
Peggy L says
“Just stand there and postulate it into your hands…”
To me that looks more like money leaving that hand and postulating into DM’s pocket. Interesting how that works. Just sad, so very very sad.
Just got a notice from my CC company and it seems like there are over $800 in charges so far) that neither or I or my husband made. Did the thief postulate the goods?
I wonder what we bought? Did we like it? Is it for Christmas?
Peggy L says
Well, it seems the little hacker bought something at one of those appliance, mattress etc. stores, had a nice meal at a bar and grill, wanted to check out their ancestry, and bought almost $400 worth of groceries. Would it be wrong of me to hope they bought romaine lettuce? I wouldn’t want them to get too sick, just enough to make them wish they hadn’t done what they did.
Interesting though the response of Karen Downing after the surveys done in Clearwater.
She realizes the general public lacks awareness because “we are not doing enough…and will need to take more responsibility for mankind”
However, Karen Downing never asks herself the question: ‘if miscabage claims eternal expansion, and magnanimous ideal orgs, and the TV, and blah…blah., how come people is unaware?
Is a pity she does NOT SEE it, she has been indoctrinated by this cult to do exactly that: do not see or think for yourself.
Ms. B. Haven says
I’m guessing that Karen is a new staff member. I say this because I had that exact same attitude when I was new on staff waaaaaaay back when. Talk about naive. Karen doesn’t realize it yet but the problem is not that scientologists are not taking responsibility for the ‘4th dynamic’. The problem is the ‘tech’ doesn’t work. It never has and never will. At best it is a placebo, and that’s being generous. If the ‘tech’ was able to produce even a fraction of what it claims, scientology’s problem would be keeping the raw meat public from breaking the doors down demanding what the cult has to offer. I didn’t see that back in the day and I sure as hell don’t see it now. I have a lot of hope that Karen will wake up and smell the roses instead of guzzling another glass of kool-aid. All she needs to do is take Hubbard’s advise and “look, don’t listen” and she will be well on her way. Good luck Karen. Hope to see you posting here soon.
Karen Downing got one bit of truth in there, “We all need to take on more responsibility for mankind!”, but not the way she’s thinking about it.
If $cientology wants to stop being thought of as a destructive cult, they’ve got to stop being a destructive cult, and actually do things to help people. Not just pretend to help while looking for the next fund raising photo op.
BTs roasting on an open fire
People wearing stupid clothes
No glad songs being sung by a choir
As folks endure another show
Everybody knows a turkey and some Shermanspeak
Help to make the season blight
Tiny bots with their eyes all aglow
Will find they need more cash tonight
They know the Reg is on his way
He’s loaded lots of ammunition on his sleigh
And every hired gun is gonna spy
To see if Davy gives more money to PIs
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To sheep from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas, you’re screwed!
I love the lyrics you wrote here! Hilarious.
Scribe, Mel Torme would be very proud 🙂
Thanks Aqua – just trying to create my own Scientology chestnut. ?
Soooo your success story for the purif is that it was a waste of time and that makes a flyer? Most true scientology ad I’ve seen in a long time.
Ms. B. Haven says
I had a different take on this flyer. Rosanne looks to be an attractive young woman who has possibly had a bit of fun experimenting with drugs and had to re-do the purif. I’m going to guess it was a painful experience because she was probably baking in the sauna alone as reflected by her comments about being impatient and wanting it to go faster.
My advise to her would be to hang with friends and get baked with them. The purif is a scam and she will have a better chance of gaining some insight using some mind expanding substances rather than the mind fucking ‘tech’ that is offered up by the cult. Certain substances are now legal in Canada and if used properly she will be well on her way to freedom from cult think.
” she will have a better chance of gaining some insight using some mind expanding substances rather than the mind fucking ‘tech’ that is offered up by the cult. ”
Now that is some sage advice Ms. B!!!!! Great laugh for the day!
Orwell was only off by two years predicting Davy’s personification of Big Brother.
Well, reefer mostly just expands your waistline due to handling Body Doritos, but still better than the Tech…
disco george says
A Sea Org member named Liberty?
Weird flex but okay, scientology.
It’s an opposition terminal.