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Thursday Funnies

November 18, 2021 By Mike Rinder 30 Comments

 

All Religions….

Unless your religion happens to be “ex-scientologist”

 

 

Suckering the LAPD once again….

Some shameless safepointing with cash.

 

A whole new universe?

They haven’t even created a whole new org yet.

 

Photo Op

This is the best they could do. 22 people?

But they’re creating a whole new universe….

 

Because you know something is wrong

Their little tag line at the bottom is interesting. Surely they know something is wrong inside the bubble?

These guys could do with a new graphic designer

 

Stable?

That’s the new button they are pushing? People really want to hand over cash and time to become “stable”?

 

Buy DMSMH at Full Price!

Pam Hubbard, formerly an LRH PPRO in the Sea Org, now with a new name, is selling DMSMH on the Pinellas Trail.

They have “perfected their patter”.

Gotta go out one Saturday and see how they do…

Bet they don’t sell one book.

 

Scientology Moshi

Obviously doing a grand job of delivering to the “locals”

 

Class VIII?

Wait until RTC hears about this. There is no such thing as a Class VIII since the Golden Age of Tech. You can only train as an auditor up to Grad 5.

Apparently nobody told crazy Michael Lewis.

They also need a new graphic designer.

 

The expert on Death

Not really a surprise he leads with that given his personal life…

 

How Winnin’s is done?

From the people who have not been able to do it for  20 plus years? And that’s just getting a new building.

 

Gag Me

Human rights?

 

Gearing up for unprecedented expansion

Always the same. It’s going to be great. Soon. Promise.

 

They have ONE graduate

Come hear her wins!

Sure is a lot of winnin’ going on….

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH Africa, Chicago org, David Campbell, Dublin Org, Freewinds, human rights, LAPD, Laurel Pritchard, Michael Lewis, Pam Callahan Van Der Linde, Pam Hubbard, Pauline Frechette, Scientology Moshi, Vancouver org

Comments

  1. Krzysztof Michal Kazmierczak says

    November 20, 2021 at 2:22 pm

    But I wanted to go see whats going on in Vancouver, I never got an invite, this is the first time I’m hearing about events in Vancouver, what an F’n ripoff. I guess they don’t like me enough.

    Guess they finally got the hint that I don’t like them.

    She is so pretty, the Vancouver girl, I want to clap and be brainwashed with some ultra fast creative group processing that makes you ill just before the event starts. Can I also fill out a survey that somehow only asks you how great the event was, the events are repetitive and boring? I don’t know how good it was, I never got a chance to enjoy myself between sitting and being forced to watch and the F’n fundraising. Or how we just never seem to have any money for anything despite pulling thousands every event from people.

    I also like that these events are schedules at prime time, so to keep you away from other social events. That was my favourite part about the whole thing. I really like how you get to run yourself into the dirt with 100+ hour weeks, oh I also liked the overtime on top of that. I think healthy internal organs are really overrated; I think we have way to many of those.

    With billions in the bank I don’t see any org going under. It feels that there will always be someone manning these churches. There is always someone who can be tricked for a few years. I think what Scientology prays on is something that is inherent in everyone at some point. Too much hope and wonder and not enough life experience to make the right choice. Last time I talked to my SO contact he had the same curiosity as to why there seems to be money for the basics like rent, etc.. He tried getting money out of me for food; that may no be included.

    Reply
  2. Betsy McLeod says

    November 18, 2021 at 11:54 pm

    Real,

    I wasn’t aware that cultists refer to themselves as a cult.

    But I see how this works. Any criticism of your leader, no matter how valid, deems you an enemy of that group.

    Now where have I seen that before?

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      November 19, 2021 at 8:32 am

      Pot. Kettle. Black.

      Reply
    • Krzysztof Michal Kazmierczak says

      November 20, 2021 at 2:31 pm

      Maybe you should go and join up. I don’t think anyone will stop you. I want to see what happens to you. I want to see at what point your body gives out.

      Reply
  3. PeaceMaker says

    November 18, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    It’s only taken them 71 years to ‘perfect the patter’? Why do I doubt that this time is really, actually, finally, it?

    And the crew pushing books looks to be getting so long in the tooth, that it’s possible they’re making sales to people taking pity on someone having to work the streets at that age. The only other thing I can think of is maybe they’re taking advantage of people even older than they are, as seniors are known to be vulnerable to being pressured into buying things just to be polite.

    Reply
  4. Free at Last says

    November 18, 2021 at 9:13 pm

    Chris,

    While I would’ve worded things a bit differently than Betsy, I have also noticed an increasing malevolence in Mike these past few years. Today’s post is a prime example. Snide comments about the loss of a man’s wife and daughter are more than “a bit hostile”. They’re uncalled for and nasty, regardless of excuses. I sincerely hope Mike has the courage to face up to this himself.

    Reply
    • Chris Shugart says

      November 19, 2021 at 12:17 am

      I don’t think you really read, much less understood a word of my post. What’s your story, man? I doubt that you even have one.

      Reply
    • Chris Shugart says

      November 19, 2021 at 12:24 am

      I doubt that you actually read, much less understood a word of what I said. What’s your story, man? Anything worth telling?

      Reply
  5. PlanetshipT says

    November 18, 2021 at 7:52 pm

    Everyone is welcome to Sunday service!! … well, everyone except:

    -Mental Health Professionals
    -People connected to the pharmaceutical industry
    -Members of the media and people who own nice cameras
    -Anyone unwilling to pay through the nose to relearn things they’ve already been taught multiple times
    -People prone to asking for refunds for services not rendered
    -Apostates, Bitter and/or Defrocked
    -People unwilling to donate their life savings, max out home equity loans and credit card balances for the “church”
    -People with access to HBO, NetFlix, or the Internet at large
    -People who has ever uttered the word “Shelly” preceded by the word “Where’s” in a questioning way
    -People who think CoB looks/acts like the north end of a southbound weasel
    -People who have ever sung along to Tom T. Hall’s song “I Like Beer”
    -Anyone who has substituted a curse word for one of the letters “I”, “A”, or “S”
    -Anyone who thinks over 50% of the book “Battlefield Earth” could have been cut out in editing.
    -Anyone unwilling to disconnect to a family member or friend falling into one of the categories above

    … Unless, of course, you have enough liquid cash to buy some sort of precious metal IAS status (I recommend you at least pay for Auri Equi Asini) in which case you will be welcome to come in the special entrance. If there’s to TP in the bathroom a Sea Org member will lend you his shirt and tie.

    Reply
  6. Chris Shugart says

    November 18, 2021 at 5:35 pm

    I’ll agree that the Lewis remark came off a bit hostile. But one incautious remark hardly makes for a “growing sense of malevolence and hate.” Before making your own incautiously presumptuous remarks, you might want take a look at Rinder’s long and savage past as executive director of Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs. For 25 years he was the Church’s head secret police and hit man, directing the elimination of those who dared criticize his church. Then you might want to take a look at the harsh and callous injustices he suffered once he decided to leave Scientology—an inhuman fate I would wish on no one. (And by the way, it’s a similar fate that many of his “acolytes” have had to endure as well.

    Mike’s transformation from heartless autocrat to compassionate Samaritan is an incredible conversion rivaled only perhaps by Ebenezer Scrooge’s reclamation from ruthless miser to generous friend to all. And so, my dear Betsy, tread carefully when you speak of hatred. You might find it something much closer to home. And be extra careful when you speak of God with specious authority. You might be better served by tending that plank in your own eye.

    Reply
    • Geoff Levin says

      November 19, 2021 at 8:14 am

      Yes, Mike is an excellent example transformation in how he overcame his upbringing to becoming a positive force in speaking out against dangerous and toxic organizations. He shows courage and compassion.

      Reply
  7. safetyguy says

    November 18, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    I almost bought the book back in the mid 70″S. So glad I didn’t. I may have gotten sucked into this stuff.

    Reply
  8. Safetyguy says

    November 18, 2021 at 2:41 pm

    I almost bought the book back in the mid 70″S. Boy. after following this for a year or so I’m sure glad I didn’t. I was young and impressionable and may have gotten sucked in.

    Reply
  9. Betsy McLeod says

    November 18, 2021 at 1:41 pm

    Dear Mr Rinder,

    I read your column daily, and always enjoy and appreciate your exposure of this (and all) cults. But recently I’ve observed a growing sense of malevolence and hate masquerading as wit.

    Case in point: today’s comment about Michael Lewis. You deride him as “an expert on death… given his personal life”. The personal life you’re referring to is, presumably, the tragic death of his son at the hands of drugs, and later, the death of his wife from cancer.

    Does tragedy in one’s life- anyone’s life, including a Scientologist’s- really merit such vitriol?

    I’m sure you’ll have a snappy and clever retort to this, as you seem to have for all criticisms, no matter how valid. And your acolytes will pile on with more of the same. Alas, none of this makes it right.

    I truly hope some day God can help turn all the hate you now hold in your heart with Love.

    Reply
    • Real says

      November 18, 2021 at 9:31 pm

      Betsy, why are you pretending to NOT be a scientologist?

      Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      November 18, 2021 at 11:35 pm

      Betsy, I see it as just Mike pointing out the hypocrisy and contradictions all too typical of Scientology. Given that Scientology is so grim – they are after all the ones putting the aging Lewis out there, leading with the topic of death, possibly trading on his tragedy, to begin with – I don’t think it’s surprising that the drift of commentary might seem a bit dark at times.

      And how about Matthew 7:1-3?

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 18, 2021 at 11:50 pm

      Betsey,

      You have no idea of the pain and tremendous loss that Mike Rinder endured and continues to endure because of his principled decision to leave the Church of Scientology.

      Your pious sentiment to him, i.e, “I truly hope some day God can help turn all the hate you hold in your heart with love” is pure, uninformed, fatuous bullshit.

      You reek of self righteousness.

      No one with a truly merciful loving heart would have written as you did.

      Suggest you take a cue from Jesus Christ himself – ask God to help you get the hate out of your own heart.

      Try it, Betsey. Clean yourself up. Your own unacknowledged negative emotions. You’d be amazed at how much more tolerant, perceptive and understanding you’ll be about the character flaws of others once you’ve confronted and acknowledged and taken responsibility for your own.

      Reply
      • Geoff Levin says

        November 19, 2021 at 8:17 am

        Well stated.

        Reply
    • unelectedfloofgoofer says

      November 19, 2021 at 1:02 am

      Let’s talk instead about Michael Lewis supporting a cult that is responsible for kidnapping people.

      Reply
    • Joe Pendleton says

      November 19, 2021 at 6:20 am

      I thought Mike’s comment about Lewis was a very smart and pointed take on the guy’s total non confront about Scientology, to say nothing of the guy’s weird emotional state, a sort of glee/non confront of the sad end of his son and wife, both of whom didn’t receive the promised results of Scientology auditing and ethics “tech”.

      Reply
    • Geoff Levin says

      November 19, 2021 at 8:02 am

      Betsy,
      Who are you to make any criticism of Mr. Rinder. You sound like an OSA(Scientology Secret Service) troll. Mike’s blog and his excellent articles on Scientology and Scientologists has been a public service of great value in exposing the criminal organization and the criminals in it.
      How well do you know Michael Lewis? I have had dealings with him and his deceased wife. His chronic hypocrisy and promotion of the lies of the cherch is deserving of ridicule. Anyone who supports the Scientology organization shows just how brainwashed and dangerous they are. Betsey or whoever you are, you display your ignorance about the dangerousness of the cult and those in it.

      Reply
    • Dotey OT says

      November 19, 2021 at 8:24 am

      Betsy,

      I could agree with you that the words could have been chosen more wisely.

      You would have have to be a researcher to know a bit about Mr. Lewis’ personal affairs. If you were, you may know what sort of life Mr. Rinder has had due to his upbringing as a scientologist, as well as the loss of his family since leaving. Having been raised a Christian, I was taught to look at all the factors as to why someone is how they are.

      Having been a scientologist, I learned that one must destroy anyone or anything that attacks scientology. Your post appears to do just that.

      I think the tone of your post is very adventurous for someone that really believes in “I truly hope that some day God can help turn all the hate you now hold in your heart…”

      You went too far to be believable. And you set up the trap so that no one could disagree.

      I have read Mr. Rinder’s blog since I left the cult in 2016, and haven’t noticed that he has a tendency for a “snappy and clever retort” to comments.

      The so called church has a history of saying things exactly as you are saying, in response to criticisms that are rightly leveled at it.

      Unfortunately, your response goes too far in it’s purported goal to lead me to believe that it is NOT genuine.

      The paragraphs about acolytes, well… Nice touch if you wanted to look like OSA.

      I could be wrong, but forgive me if I am. I spent thirty years in, was divorced because of it, watched many suffer because they were unaware of what lengths the persons furthering the scam go to.

      A true Christian could understand this.

      Reply
  10. ISNOINews says

    November 18, 2021 at 10:58 am

    PODCAST: Nancy Manny – A Former Scientologist Tells Her Story in My Billion Year Contract

    November 17, 2021 • 41 min

    https://www.iheart.com/podcast/53-the-x-zone-radio-tv-show-27096371/episode/rob-mcconnell-interviews-nancy-many-89417861/

    * * BEGIN INTRODUCTION * *

    Nancy Many was a college student in Boston when she first wandered into a Scientology office. That was the beginning of the end of independence and freedom, as she knew it. After 27 years of service at all levels of Scientology’s Sea Organization, Nancy left the group, and now works to help others who have been victimized, and to expose the abuse and crimes of her former group. Nancy lives in Los Angeles with her family

    * * END INTRODUCTION * *

    /

    Reply
  11. bixntram says

    November 18, 2021 at 10:01 am

    Sorry for an off-topic comment, pertaining to yesterday’s discussion on alcoholism, but I’m not sure others in the discussion would see it if I just posted a reply.

    About 15 years ago, I got back into music and got good enough on the trumpet to play with various groups in bars, restaurants, and at weddings and fundraisers. There’s usually alcohol in one form or another served at these venues. In all that time, I’ve only seen one really drunk person (on New Year’s Eve!). Sure, I’ve seen people buzzed, but not beyond what I would call responsible social drinking.

    When prohibition was tried in the U.S. it created far more problems than the ones it was supposed to “solve.” Beyond keeping booze out of the hands of teenagers, I’m against any type of prohibition. It was tried; it failed. Most people who drink do so responsibly, based on my own experience. I’m not one of them (I’d been sober 25 years before I made my comeback, and I’d definitely advise anyone newly sober to “stay away from slippery places”) Mosts clubs and restaurants would go out of business if they couldn’t serve alcohol.

    Okay, that’s enough off-topic outta me. Apologies to all for the digression.

    Reply
    • Geoff Levin says

      November 19, 2021 at 8:05 am

      Good points.

      Reply
  12. otherles says

    November 18, 2021 at 9:43 am

    Well someone has to be an expert on death.

    Reply
  13. Mary Kahn says

    November 18, 2021 at 8:49 am

    God I’m glad I’m out! It’s such a load – a big fat load!

    Love the “Stable” misspelling. Freud would have a field day.

    Reply
    • bixntram says

      November 18, 2021 at 9:37 am

      Froid sure would.

      Reply
    • Cindy says

      November 18, 2021 at 12:29 pm

      In the promo in today’s article, it says as a win, “Gain stability.” Wow, the church has sure lowered their expectations of results the tech can give. First it was “gain the win of being OT” and before that it was “become a God in your own right.” Now the goal is “to become stable.” Wow, way to lower the expectations. I guess that is a big win after all since the sheeple canNOT confront and shatter suppression. I guess being stable is the most they can hope for now.

      Reply
      • Glenn says

        November 18, 2021 at 8:13 pm

        Hey, maybe they’ll use the R2-45 process and become stably exterior!

        Reply

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