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Thursday Funnies

April 7, 2022 By Mike Rinder 26 Comments

For some unknown reason, the AO’s are promoting kids this week.

Some of the creepiest stuff that seeps out of the bubble.

 

Only 3 more years….

They average about 300 per year (of course, not subtracting those who have left or died).

They’re getting excited about something that might happen in 2025.

And when it does — look out. Instantly the world will be putty in the hands of scientology. At least, that’s what they are counting on.

 

Yes, ALL Denmark

With a second “Ideal Org” the entire country will be ideal. Funny, before their FIRST ideal org, there were 3 Class V Orgs in Denmark…

 

Tag Team Wrestling

These two. The beards. The gloves. The muscles. They finished a course together? Everything seems to be in pairs down under? What’s with that? I guess the teams below are the bantamweight division.

 

Kiddie Corner Part 1

Why is this happening at the Advanced Org when there is an “Ideal Org” just down the street? Desperate for course completions?

 

She’s a diamond….

Diamond what? Or just a diamond?

 

Only now?

Not for the past 70 years it’s been being promised?

 

Only on Saturday at 4pm

At 4:10 they pack up and go home

 

An odd one

Grammar aside, why hold this in a “location of the 16th century”?

And then try to act as if there is something new with the “most recent hatting materials.” Pier Paderni has been doing this same shtick for 40 years or more.

 

Kiddie Corner Part II

Another AO?

 

The Road to Happiness

Handing booklets in Ukraine.

What a waste of time and effort.

 

More “Advanced Org” stuff?

Thought they were supposed to be delivering OT levels — not kids courses and raw public seminars?

 

The first clue?

Chicago Ideal Org grand opening that weekend?

Years and years in the making, could it possibly be happening to coincide with Dear Leader’s birthday?

 

How OT is this?

Still doing “virtual briefings”?

 

Ireland Tourism Board promotion?

Except they would never promote scientology…

But this seems to always be their pitch.

Can’t get any Irish people interested?

 

Yeah, guaranteed to take you to the stars…

But steer clear of the regges.

 

A special invitation to scientologists

Not that anyone else would contemplate attending….

 

Should be a lot of fun?

 

Another strange one

Scientology Nashville is sending out promo from scientology London — presumably to show how cool and diverse they are?

Just wait til Cairo finds out about 1.1 on the Tone Scale and what Ron said… His smile will not be so wide.

 

Come in for Afternoon Tea

How polite and genteel.

Until the reg swoops in.

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: 10000 on Solo NOTs, AOSHANZO, AOSHEU, Chicago Ideal Org, Dublin Org, Guadalajara org, Kyiv, London, Mark Webb, Nashville, Pauline Zani, Pier Paderni

Comments

  1. I Yawnalot says

    April 9, 2022 at 1:40 pm

    Creepy…

    Reply
  2. Sabriel says

    April 9, 2022 at 5:19 am

    I think Cairo may be in for another shock when they push the Putrification Rundown on him, seeing his “Walt Dealer” shirt…

    Reply
  3. WriteReade says

    April 8, 2022 at 11:06 am

    Is it possible to have financial security AND be a $cientologist?

    Reply
    • GL says

      April 8, 2022 at 5:16 pm

      Only if you are Demented Monstrosity and, maybe, one of his arse licking sycophants.

      Reply
  4. Sonya Blaylock says

    April 7, 2022 at 6:05 pm

    Scientology=SCAM SCAM SCAM
    UGH they make me nauseous
    So desperate to come up with anything they can to attract the public

    Reply
    • Mark Kamran says

      April 7, 2022 at 9:13 pm

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      It’s a Final Count Down

      They are left with matter : buildings, equipments , books etc etc, but no breathing species like Wogs.

      It’s confusion and chaos signifying Age of Paranoia

      What else do you expect ?

      Reply
  5. ISNOINews says

    April 7, 2022 at 4:33 pm

    Syncretism.

    Nation of Islam Brother Baatin Muhammad says:

    “Fasting helps to keep you in present time.”

    https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=4789902701077958&id=128162617252013

    Wait, what?

    Memorialized with a screenshot on ESMBR at:

    https://exscn2.net/threads/syncretism-nation-of-islam-brother-baatin-muhammad-says-fasting-helps-to-keep-you-in-present-time-wait-what.4877/

    /

    Reply
  6. ExScnStaff says

    April 7, 2022 at 4:07 pm

    Not only are they promoting children in Scn, but neither of those are completions. One promo piece is they’re doing the purif. The other is that they’re routing *onto* a course.

    My takeaway on the AOSH piece was actually that putting your kids on a course is essentially baby-sitting. If someone says they can’t come on course because they have kids, here’s the solution – come on course yourself and deliver your kids to the basic courseroom.

    Reply
    • grisianfarce says

      April 8, 2022 at 3:45 pm

      Been there, done that. I was doing TRs and study hat, while they were doing the grades.

      Reply
  7. jim rowles says

    April 7, 2022 at 11:58 am

    The repetitive sameness, the high school level emotions , the grade school graphics, and the lack of focus puts their promotions at the same level as I used to see of a picture of a ‘pitiful starving child’ seen in ads for money in magazines for over 30 years—- the same child for over 30 years.

    Reply
  8. Chris Shugart says

    April 7, 2022 at 11:46 am

    My immediate thought on the AOSH ANZO bros: It looks like following their photo op, they’ll be moonlighting as mob enforcers for the IAS.

    Reply
    • Cindy says

      April 7, 2022 at 8:14 pm

      The only new people they can get in nowadays are the kids of already existing church members. This is because everyone else reads the internet, watches the expose shows, knows people whose lives have been ruined by C of S.

      Reply
  9. otherles says

    April 7, 2022 at 11:36 am

    Seriously, shovels are better than books.

    Reply
  10. mwesten says

    April 7, 2022 at 11:09 am

    Sergey wants to “achieve the goal of Psychology” in Kiev? 😨
    Isn’t that the total enslavement of the masses?

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      April 7, 2022 at 12:16 pm

      Forget the masses! This guy is advocating psychology on a Scientology website? Man, KR city big time! Saying ‘psychology’ in Scientology is like dropping the F bomb in a Baptist church! Lower conditions, here he comes!

      Reply
      • safetyguy says

        April 7, 2022 at 3:10 pm

        I was really wondering about that too. But, hey, they published it right? Sounds like to me who ever approved that publication could be on the way to, what do they call the “hole” now?

        Not good.

        Reply
  11. grisianfarce says

    April 7, 2022 at 11:01 am

    The “Go OT Briefing” – “Understand about each OT level”:
    OT1 – You thought Clear great, but now you’re in the danger zone!
    OT2 – Snooze fest
    OT3 – Meet and Greet with Lord Xenu
    OT4 – SNOTS and Body Thetans
    OT5 – SNOTS and Body Thetans
    OT6 – SNOTS and Body Thetans
    OT7 – SNOTS, Body Thetans and Flag sec checks every 6 months
    OT8 – Freewinds! None of those memories were you. Get regged for any remaining money before being allowed to disembark. We promise the real good stuff is on OT9 and 10.

    Reply
  12. Fred G. Haseney says

    April 7, 2022 at 9:38 am

    Re: Tag Team Wrestling

    Maybe maybe the the org org is is under under the the delusion delusion that that Hubbard Hubbard ((er er,, Hibbard Hibbard) has has returned returned..

    Reply
  13. otherles says

    April 7, 2022 at 9:31 am

    If you’ll pardon me for using an Objectivist term. DM appears to an Attila. What is an Attila?

    According to Ayn Rand an Attila is: the man who rules by brute force…respects nothing but the physical reality immediately before him, respects nothing but man’s muscles, and regards a fist, a club, or a gun as the only answer to any problem.

    DM could claim to do his own research and create new OT Levels. But instead DM took over from the designated successors of LRH. DM created nothing of his own and ran Scientology into the ground since.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      April 7, 2022 at 12:23 pm

      To: otherles
      From: David Miscavige COB RTC
      Re: objectivism.

      THE REASON I DON’T COME UP WITH MY OWN OT LEVELS IS BECAUSE THE WORLD HAS NOT GONE FAR ENOUGH UP THE BRIDGE TO WARRANT THE FRUITS OF MY SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE! SO GO TELL YOUR SORRY FRIEND AYN RAND OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS TO TAKE HER OBJECTIVISM AND SHOVE IT!

      ML,
      Dave.

      To: David Miscavige COB RTC
      From: Alcoboy
      Re: Ayn Rand.

      She’s been dead for several years, you diminutive doofus!

      No love at all,
      Alcoboy.

      Reply
      • Newcomer says

        April 8, 2022 at 12:42 am

        Yo Dave,
        Stop yer fricken whinin! Pull yer fricken boots in the sky on and git with the program asshole.

        Reply
        • Alcoboy says

          April 8, 2022 at 9:13 am

          To: Newcomer
          From: David Miscavige COB RTC
          Re: getting with the program.

          I AM WITH THE PROGRAM! HELL, I CREATED THE PROGRAM! SOMETHING THAT A DOWNSTAT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND! OH, AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE CALLING AN ASSHOLE?

          ML,
          Dave.

          To: David Miscavige COB RTC
          From: Alcoboy
          Re: your program.

          Ha, ha!
          So much for your program! Oh, and incidentally, you are an asshole!

          No love at all,
          Alcoboy.

          Reply
          • Newcomer says

            April 8, 2022 at 12:20 pm

            Yo Dave,
            I’m not thinking. I’m one of yer Oh Tea Ates and we KNOW an asshole when we see one.

            One mo thingy mr dildo, we know You created the program because of the way it stinks the place up. Why do you think no one is showing up. Scheese you are very dense Dave, maybe to the point of being solid.

            Git a life, pound a bottle or two and fer christs sake, enjoy yer weekend …..

            Reply
            • Alcoboy says

              April 9, 2022 at 9:36 am

              To: Newcomer
              From: David Miscavige COB RTC
              Re: weekends.

              I AM GOING TO ENJOY MY WEEKEND! SINCE YOU HAVE THE IMPUNITY TO SLANDER MY PROGRAMS MAY YOUR WEEKEND BE ABSOLUTE HELL!

              ML,
              Dave.

              To: David Miscavige COB RTC
              From:Alcoboy
              Re: weekends

              Does that mean that Newcomer can’t come to Int Base and swiil some scotch with you?
              Boy, are you mean.
              Not that he would want to, of course.

              No love at all,
              Alcoboy.

              Reply
  14. Mark says

    April 7, 2022 at 9:05 am

    Wow, this all of this “church promo” stuff is utterly bonkers.
    No matter what font they print this shite in and no matter
    how hard they click their heels together and no matter how many BT’s
    all of the OT 7’s on Teegeeack thetanically exfoliate and no matter how precisely they “postulate” scienbollocky expansion with Tone 40 intention, they are still left with:
    Tubby’s Useless Thetanic Turds; the high-haired high school dropout’s asset-hoovering, bitch-slapping sociopathy (a true runt among cunts); crushing personal debt and bankruptcy; empty Ideal Theta Palaces; and a well-deserved shitty public reputation…
    So much WINNING!

    Reply
  15. Mark says

    April 7, 2022 at 8:48 am

    SHARE THE CRINGE. EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN. FLEE THERE!

    Reply

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