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Thursday Funnies

June 16, 2022 By Mike Rinder 25 Comments

So many people coming!!!

Yeah, right.

And it’s going to be monumental. And milestone.

 

 

It’s the food stupid

All about the food.

The seminar is secondary.

 

This is the event that so many people are coming to…

Really?

 

Another “virtual” briefing…

Doesn’t seem very OT — cause over Matter, Energy, Space and Time?

 

The Freewinds is LIVE!

And they are doing Div 6 seminars (really just excuses to try to get some bodies to reg).

It’s a little odd they keep promoting themselves as being “off the crossroads of the world” when they have been tied to a dock in Aruba for a year or more…

 

 

Oh, no they’re not…

More “virtual” events.

And this is on a day traditionally when the Maiden Voyage is happening, but once again this year, that has slipped quietly beneath the waves and nobody mentions it at all.

 

Flag selling pizza

You can buy it and pick it up the front door of the Ft Harrison!

They’ve got to try and make a buck somehow.

 

Still gearing up…

Wonder where they get these models? Hand selected for diversity, good looks and the “right image” — there are no Class V org staff in the world that look like this,

 

Chase Wilson speaks

Obviously he is the authority on this subject.

But if he is, why isn’t he on staff?

 

 

They’re serious

Apparently Arte is some sort of celebrity in certain scientology circles.

Why? Just because he has been around so long? Because he went to jail for refusing to tell the truth before a Grand Jury? His infamous career in the Guardian’s Office?

 

It’s a bit underwhelming

 

Cirque Du Soleil?

Wonder if they know their name is being used in vain?

A special message from Bob Hill in Toronto? They don’t have an ideal org after 20 years and they didn’t even need to buy a building… they just abandoned it and are paying rent for some other place. That would not be the people I would be looking to for guidance!

 

Kiddie Corner

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Arte Maren, Bellaire Mission, Chase Wilson, Chicago org, Flag, Freewinds, Ft Harrison, Hourglass, Sandra Poveda, valley org, Vancouver org

Comments

  1. Todd Cray says

    June 16, 2022 at 6:02 pm

    “Gearing up for unprecedented expansion.”

    This must be the most persistent slogan of all. It’s been around for as many years as I can recall. However, how do you square this with the claims that the cult has been in the midst of “unprecedented expansion” for equally as many years? So are you in the middle of running an exciting race or are you at the store shopping for athletics shoes and the perfect water bottle? Or are you still taking up a collection so that you can go to the athletics store?

    Every org I have ever checked out has gone to great pains to conceal the amount of traffic, or lack thereof, inside. No matter how fancy the building, the blinds are drawn and lurkers are quick to draw attention from building security. Compare this to an Apple Store or a Tesla showroom which are all too happy to let passersby see the onslaught of customer traffic. After all, it may convince folks standing outside to go in to see what the commotion is all about.

    “Gearing up for unprecedented expansion.” It’s right up there with “I’m gonna get a job–tomorrow.” Or, “I’ll go on a diet–after the holidays.” Or, “I’m gonna quit boozing–once I get out of jail.”

    Reply
    • xTeamXenu75to03chuckbeatty says

      June 17, 2022 at 6:42 am

      “keep the show on the road” Hubbard ties everything into that saying he used endlessly.

      “…show….” is the bottom line

      ex Sea Org 75 to 03

      PS: Hubbard disallowed mentioning that Xenu’s coming on OT 3, to explain it all, but that’s for later in the show. Don’t want to alarm the audience about Xenu and body-thetans until you have them captive. Hubbard’s captive audience writer goal was why he even took the “religion angle” to Scientology.

      pps: The “you share it with me now” saying in RJ67 just hits me as now the audience is part of the show, deep, sharing it, so let’s all keep it going. The third dynamic show.

      Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      June 17, 2022 at 1:24 pm

      The perpetual “gearing up” is a strange phenomenon indeed. Perhaps it keeps local org members focused on “trying” to make the “expansion” happen, that they believe is going on in the rest of the organization – though of course it’s not really happening anywhere, in a sort of a group-level pluralistic ignorance in which everyone (or every subgroup) believes that all the others are experiencing what they’re supposed to, even though almost no one is.

      Reply
    • GL says

      June 20, 2022 at 8:58 pm

      “Gearing up for unprecedented expansion.”

      I think it means the continuing growth of Daemonicus Maleficus’s bank accounts.

      Reply
  2. Mark says

    June 16, 2022 at 1:32 pm

    DEAD CULT SPINNING AND GRINNING.
    GLEE!
    SIGNIFICANCE!
    AWESOMENESS!

    GALACTIC TURD, DECOMPOSING…

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      June 16, 2022 at 9:51 pm

      Once again, Mark, you have a way with words.

      Reply
  3. PeaceMaker says

    June 16, 2022 at 1:17 pm

    The Freewinds makes occasional overnight runs to its home port of Curaçao, according to maritime tracking information that gets posted. The ship had spent about two years docked in Aruba, and then started making round trips again a bit more frequently around the time they seemed to be heavily promoting travel to the vessel, but has only been out once in the last 90 days.

    The late night cruises seem conveniently timed to avoid conflicting at all with courses, and of course, regging.

    Reply
    • george.m.white says

      June 16, 2022 at 2:53 pm

      Thanks for the update!

      Reply
      • PeaceMaker says

        June 17, 2022 at 12:58 pm

        The ship was also in drydock in Curaçao for almost two weeks late last year, as Tony Ortega writes about today:

        > https://tonyortega.org/2022/06/17/scientology-is-bursting-with-news-about-its-aging-cruise-ship-which-is-totally-not-sinking/

        That was after not putting out to sea at all for two years, but then after that they started the more frequent night trips for a while. It’s likely they tried to get more people coming to the ship, but gave up after that didn’t really pan out.

        Reply
  4. I Yawnalot says

    June 16, 2022 at 1:10 pm

    There’s something ironically stupid about cause over taste buds replacing cause over life.
    “OT Burgers,” “Exterior fries” or maybe, “Look at that bottle, it’s full of ketchup!”
    Stupid is, what stupid does, no matter how tasty. Go free with food – Splurge on it!

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      June 16, 2022 at 9:54 pm

      The Cheeseburger Rundown.

      Walk over to that cheeseburger.
      Look at that cheeseburger.
      Say hello to the cheeseburger.
      Do not eat the cheeseburger.
      Turn around.

      Continue until end phenomena is reached.
      End phenomena of rundown: extreme dislike of cheeseburgers.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        June 17, 2022 at 3:48 pm

        Had a good laugh at that, my spoon is floating. We might be onto a new weight loss religion. The Food Bridge!

        Reply
        • Alcoboy says

          June 17, 2022 at 4:30 pm

          Pretty amazing tech. And LRH didn’t even come up with it so that makes it even more workable.
          As long as your spoon floats three times, you are practicing standard food tech.

          Reply
      • GL says

        June 17, 2022 at 7:25 pm

        You left out:

        Look at dead eyed salivating Sea Orger standing behind cheeseburger.
        Turn around.
        Run.

        Reply
        • Alcoboy says

          June 17, 2022 at 9:43 pm

          That’s because the dead eyed salivating Sea Org member is the Course Sup. With one of them in the room, you ain’t runnin’ anywhere!

          Reply
  5. Geoff Levin says

    June 16, 2022 at 12:24 pm

    Arte Maren, I’ve known him forever. I’m sure he would appreciate a birthday wish from one Scientology’s biggest detractors.

    Reply
  6. Alcoboy says

    June 16, 2022 at 12:04 pm

    Why isn’t Chase Wilson on staff if he is the authority on the subject?
    Mike, it should be obvious. HE KNOWS! He’s got the scoop on what goes on !

    Reply
    • Rose says

      June 17, 2022 at 10:15 am

      Chase Wilson is ex-SO.

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        June 17, 2022 at 12:10 pm

        Oh. Wasn’t aware of that. That explains everything. Thanks for letting me know.

        Reply
  7. Mark Kamran says

    June 16, 2022 at 11:48 am

    So now they are selling Pizza, salad & Burgers ….this what we were trying to tell them ….spin your business.

    Soon they ALL move to Mid West for dairy and poultry farming venture and stay away from wog’s world for next 50 years.
    After all it’s written on The Wall… I am just a messenger

    That’s the only strategy save them from Age of Extinction,2025 ,otherwise ……Its a Final Countdown……as it is also written on the wall.

    Reply
  8. otherles says

    June 16, 2022 at 9:11 am

    Who’s holding a person back? That person should look in a mirror.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      June 16, 2022 at 12:05 pm

      True but many don’t want to look in the mirror. Many don’t want to see the man behind the curtain. I went through this back in my Mormon days.

      Reply
    • GL says

      June 16, 2022 at 4:55 pm

      Who is not holding me back. I made it past him and now it’s What that is the problem and if I can get around him I still have to dodge I Don’t Know.

      Reply
  9. Mary Kahn says

    June 16, 2022 at 8:53 am

    Arte Maren,

    It’s never too late to stop being a tool (or a fool)?

    Actually I think it is too late. So far inside out – so long advocating for abuse and cruelty.

    Reply
    • jim rowles says

      June 16, 2022 at 10:25 am

      Yes Mary,

      I wish Arte the best. It takes some kind of tough to make it to 80, while wearing the mantle/cloak/albatross of “Being a Loyal Officer”.

      Reply

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