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Thursday Funnies

September 3, 2015 By Mike Rinder 99 Comments

LAUGH

Is this a joke?

Scientology is going to teach the world how to do PR? And the KKK are going to be holding a seminar on racial tolerance…

PR

 

Arte Maren? Seriously?

GO poster child pitching for the Moneywinds? Strange bedfellows. Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures.

ARTE

 

 

More “commercial”

From the religion that worships money

ARTS

 

 

Yes, it’s EPIC…

Let your imagination run wild as to just how epic this could be. An event in Birmingham, put on by Birmingham…

Screenshot (424)

Money, money, money

I doubt even the televangelists spend less time focused on money than scientologyScreenshot (423)

Trickle down

If it’s working for the Freewinds…

And these guys really know how to make money. They have been on a $2500 annual salary now for decades.

Screenshot (421)

 

 

Still the mecca of money worship

Screenshot (422)

What is it with these graphs?

ot-leadership-convention (1)

 

 

They’re not even pretending…

Not only no auditing or training, not even one of their corny seminars.

They will try ANYTHING to get people on board so the regges can take a shot at them.

The Freewinds will be in Curaçao this weekend during the monumental Curaçao North Sea Jazz Festival with music legends like Stanley Clarke, John Legend, Lionel Ritchie, Enrique Iglesias, Usher, The Pointer Sisters, The Isley Brothers

and many more…

You can still make arrangements to attend. It’s not too late.

Contact me immediately if you need assistance booking your ticket to the Freewinds.
Melissa Denness • Phone: +1 (727) 445-**** • E-mail: freewinds@freewinds.org

image1

 

 

Full Cause. Period.

Barbara Dews is going to give you the inside scoop on how you can be “full Cause” (just like her?) It’s an interesting concept. If anyone was truly “full Cause” where does that leave everyone else?

BRIDGE

 

 

Cultural Epicenter

They keep talking about Inglewood being the org that brings scientology to the epicenter of African American culture blah blah blah.

How come everyone there is caucasian?

CHRIS

 

 

A crucial turning point in the history of this planet…

So, we bought a Warehouse 8 to show our commitment to doing something about it.

We also got a mood ring because this is a golden era of unprecedented stress.

Screenshot (418)

 

 

“Traditional” Caribbean Buffet Dinner

Any gimmick is better than no gimmick. But it’s getting pretty thin. What next. A “Traditional Sea Org Rice and Beans Banquet”?

FOOD

 

 

CF Party

Wowee, they must really be close to being ideal… They’re holding CF parties now instead of make money parties.

And CF parties are a hallmark of all “ideal orgs”. It’s a requirement to being “ideal” that you round everyone up to do backlogged filing.

Screenshot (417)

 

 

Cultural Epicenter East

Check out the hopeful banner — then check out the photos.

HARLEM

 

Orange County

Now this is an ideal org on a rocket ride. They announce when anyone resigns their contract. It’s big news because they have not LOST another staff member. Negative gain is always cause for celebration when you are going straight up and vertical.

OC

 

 

“OT Night”?

Learn about the mental health funding that is poisoning NY.

Sounds like a real OT night….

OUTREACH

 

 

IAS Humility

“Full protection of our rights across the planet”… Hahaha They can’t even fund a criminon program in LA…

SEATTLE

 

 

Professional PC’s

Working for their 10% commissions. Used to be they would tell everyone that the L’s were the answer. Then it was OT VIII. Now it’s Super Power. Running Pgm is next….

SP

 

 

Go OT

Redo the Student Hat and really get it this time because of that new dictionary. It used to be very complicated. The Student Hat?

STHAT

 

 

It’s true

No more fundraising… (Well, not really, but their hearts ain’t going to be in it).

But surely they could have come up with something more impressive than a Meccano toy crane and some shots of a guy on a ladder and someone pointing at the ceiling to announce the start of construction after 15 years.

VLY

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Freewinds, fundraising, funnies, IAS, Ideal Orgs, public relations, Super Power

Comments

  1. starzstuff says

    September 4, 2015 at 7:20 am

    Repeating that something is “Epic” or the “greatest ever” doesn’t make it so. Its sad marketing and the public see through it after being scammed to attend these events that offer no real information other than “sign up for a course or give us your money”. There are not really “funnies” anymore. Sad is closer to the truth. Sad and futile attempts to involve an ever decreasing audience. You would have thought with the so called tech of marketing and survey the church would have figured that out by now. Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.

    Reply
  2. I Yawnalot says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    The very first flyer shows lots of people in uniform in and about the Freewinds. People in uniform aren’t the effect of PR, they do what they are told, just like the SO and the mind dead scientologists who obey them. Everything about scientology is based on dictatorship and your money, once again I say, yuck!

    Reply
  3. Gus Cox says

    September 3, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    “What next. A “Traditional Sea Org Rice and Beans Banquet”?

    Bwaaaa ha ha!

    I think every Org closure (it’ll start happening at some point) should be celebrated with a “Traditional Sea Org Rice and Beans Banquet.” Jeez, I still laughing!

    Reply
  4. Aquamarine says

    September 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    “Purse Removal”…Laughter!

    Reply
  5. Kronomex says

    September 3, 2015 at 7:59 pm

    Mike, you forget that PR in $camology does not mean Public Relations it stands for Purse Removal. So yes, they are world experts in that field.

    Reply
  6. zemooo says

    September 3, 2015 at 7:24 pm

    “How to Disseminate to someone with no need of change.” In real speak, how to con someone into buying something. they don’t need. Does that include ‘Or have change in their pocket’ ? Of course not, money is be all and end all of these ‘ecclesiastical’ activities.

    The Fleecewinds is getting very used to be used for things outside of the training of OT8. Krustie Ally and some friends just spent 2 weeks or more on it ‘studying’ OT7. There have been lots of ‘prosperity seminars’ on it, lastly with Cardone and Bob Duggan. Just think, a whole week with Grant Cardone riding your ass about IAS donations (donations that he gets a 10;% commission on). Jumping off the rail is going to start to look pretty good by 4th day of that cruise.

    Maybe next cruise, Creflo Dollar can run the seminar?

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      Oh, I sure hope Creflo Dollar will be there! He REALLY needs that 65 million Dollar jet! I know because I heard him say it on TV. What a guy he is! Always looking out for others…

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 3, 2015 at 8:54 pm

      Zemoo, your comment reminded me of when I used to sell books. We had to find the ruin via the stress test and then use that to sell Dianetics. Well, every so often, someone would sit down and pick up the cans and be in a terrific mood, needle floating around, good indicators, no reads, nothing wrong, just happy! It was obvious. So I asked the bookseller IC, a Sea Org member who was supposedly the expert on stress testing and bookselling. I asked her, “How can I do a Stress Test if some people are feeling no stress, their needles are just floating – how do I find a ruins in those instances?” And she replied, “Key them in!”. I looked at her and parroted, “Key them in?” “Sure”, she said, “Its not an overt. They just happen to be keyed out, but life is going to key them in anyway, so key them in, find their ruin,and sell them a book”. I never did it, though. Seemed like an overt to me, to key someone in, who was feeling good.

      Reply
  7. Espiando says

    September 3, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    Noelle North, a Stupid Power completion and on a panel to pimp it? Guess she must have got tired of waiting by the phone for Disney to call to tell her Adventures Of The Gummi Bears is being revived and they need her back as Sunni. Of course, she does take the occasional time out from waiting to go to random Subways to try to force little girls to leave.

    Goddamnit, I fucking hate that bitch.

    And speaking of clam bitches…okay, just to set the scene, I will watch anything with Sir Tony Robinson, including him reading the phone book. Well, Channel 4’s latest post-Time Team attempt to keep him happy is a six-part series called Time Crashers, a reality series in which ten celebrities are put into various historical simulations to see if they can cope. Nine of the celebrities are British. One is not. Three guesses…yep, you got it in one. Krusty, coming off her latest bout of weight loss and looking like a prune.

    This situation is really testing my love for Ol’ Balders. As I said, I watch everything he does. I archive everything he does. And now my archive is going to be polluted with a garbage-strewn Alley. Fuck my life.

    Oh, yeah, only a few hours left, OSA. I’m at Tampa Airport doing nothing. Airports have been invaded before for The Cause. Come on. Or are you too scared of me?

    Reply
  8. ed kette says

    September 3, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    Adam produced a Letter of Resignation just to keep Qualified Staff Hired stat up for that week.
    The Resignation embraces giving up the chance to become someone in the world. Now he is a cog in the transmission called scientology, cruising (Tommy & Davy) to nowhere.

    Reply
  9. Fredric L. Rice says

    September 3, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    “…special guest speaker…”

    What makes these criminals “special?” The fact that they have not blown yet?

    Reply
  10. Fredric L. Rice says

    September 3, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    What’s also amusing about these frauds is that the crooks reach more people reading these on Rinder Blog than the insane crooks actually have customers that read them.

    Reply
  11. RMycroft says

    September 3, 2015 at 2:39 pm

    On that NY OT Night, is Elaine Seigal related to long-timer Elaine Siegel who wanted to drive the entheta off the Internet by out-creating it? Study Tech wroks and it hleps people.

    Reply
    • Len Zinberg says

      September 3, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      One and the same.

      Reply
  12. zemooo says

    September 3, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    The staff resigning is sort of a sop to the staff, probably the only recognition they ever get. The Stupor Powerz pics really prove the ’boutique’ nature of Flag SP. Just come on down for some running and smelling and oiling and pay the 20-30k bill and you too can prove your fealty to Niblet not have your indentured family cut you out of their lives.

    All the Sea bOrg fawn over you {those who sort of speak English anyway}, like you’re Grant Cardone or a Duggan whale. Ok, they won’t really fawn, no Bambis allowed, unless they pony up the money. And no other clam gets the Duggan treatment.

    All the other pics are so telling about the state of current clam affairs. Look we’re laying 47thousand square yards of carpet and putting plumbing in what looks like some government office. The cheap carpeting and the seams in the middle of the room spell carpet problems in the years to come.

    As a former worker for the New York State Office of Mental Health, I can assure you that no $cieno front group has ever done anything but picket with colorful signs and they walk away. They are never included or have ever asked to be included in any of the community or family outreach programs or discussions that OMH does. They simple don’t exist in the state government lists of players.

    Reply
    • Daniel Doonan says

      September 3, 2015 at 11:04 pm

      I think they’re more likely removing the carpet, it looks like they’re using pry bars and scrapers in the bottom photos.

      After all, this is the beginning of construction phase 1. I’d wait until the heavy and/or dirty work was done before installing new flooring. Although who knows how the CoS would schedule it, since “able to predict consequences” seems to have been tacitly added to the characteristics of an SP.

      And of course no floor covering is “ideal” unless it cost 47x what it should have. They can’t possibly be putting down carpet unless it was made out of griffon fur by Yakyakistani monks, or something like that.

      Reply
  13. hgc10 says

    September 3, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Christ almighty these idiots need to come up with new material. It’s becoming boring already. Mike comes to the rescue — because gorillas are always a delight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plvpV9p0ywg

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      That’s what I was thinking, hgc. I have better material than they do! It REALLY is getting old. Maybe I should host an ‘open mic’ night. I put on an impromptu show at the Lemon Tree Restaurant at FLAP. The public loved it! The staff, well, not so much. There’s no sense of humor in this cult…

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        September 3, 2015 at 8:40 pm

        OSD, WHERE WERE YOU when I was yawning thru all the mandatory attendance Graduations, Christmas events, karaoke events, big events, little events, Int Events, Any Excuse Events, briefings, closed door, open door, door a little ajar events – events which were all touted as One Of A Kind This Is Going To Blow You Away This Event Is LIke No other Event…you get the idea…and every damned one of them was So Unforgivably Boring…and always too long…OSD, we could have used some Open Mic Old Surfer Dude Action at these things, believe me.

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        September 4, 2015 at 3:51 pm

        I’m sorry I didn’t know you then! (’81). I was in hot demand as a guitar player. Now, from my posts you know I’m a sick puppy (& proud of it!). I did one skit about two local boys from Honolulu in the Lemon Tree. It went like this:

        Auditor: Ok bra! Now bra, you not drink any alcohol right? Ok, you not smoke any pacalolo (pot), right? Ok good. Dis is de session. Wait….bra!…bra! Bra, you rockslam, bra! You rockslam! (the auditor turns the e-meter around and shows him). Look BRA! YOU ROCKSLAM, BRA! YOU ROCKSLAM! Hey bra! You not tinking of me now, are you bra!

        Again, the public thought I was funny as shit with these skits. But, I was getting stink eye from all the staff. But, I was a paying public so I never got into trouble. One girl who took a shine to me took me up to her dorm room. It was triple bunks on both sides of the room with one bathroom. I had an 18 wheeler and was moving furniture for Bekin’s Van Lines. I also had a small bedroom behind my seat. She wanted to take advantage of it so we did. Yeah, yeah, I know. I was a baaaaaaaad boy. But she was a lot of fun!

        Reply
        • RogerHornaday says

          September 4, 2015 at 5:52 pm

          That is some seriously funny shit Surfer Dude and in 1981 I would have been laughing my head off with the other public. My theory on the unlaughing staff is that they were rockslamming at your blissfully carefree self-abandon and when you started joking about rockslamming you were missing their proverbial withholds like crazy mahn.

          Reply
  14. Ben says

    September 3, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    I think they should get Trump to teach the course;)

    Reply
  15. Willie AKA Good Oid Boy says

    September 3, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    OH come on guys! You all know the real why for all this Dave Shit. Its the Blind leading the Blind!!

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      The Blind AND the Deaf leading the Blind AND the Deaf.

      Reply
  16. BraveBloggers says

    September 3, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    I can’t be sure, but if you look at the pics of the family of 4, where 1 is holding a meter, and there are 3 pedestals with meters atop them in front…it looks like a shop. Maybe it’s not, but it looks incongruous.

    Reply
    • Gimpy says

      September 3, 2015 at 1:38 pm

      I thought the same thing, the lighting is not quite right.

      Reply
  17. vinaire says

    September 3, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Scientology seems to be winning like Donald Trunmp is. This is because of the decline in critical thinking among the general public.

    Scientology and Donald Trump types shall continue to win unless something is done to boost critical thinking through education of general public. General education has not been a supported subject since the fifties.
    .

    Reply
    • Fredric L. Rice says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      There are always dumbfucks out there that fall for obvious frauds — like Republicanism and Scientology. No amount of information, education, science, facts stop some people, and even when they observe the conseq

      Reply
  18. Pepper says

    September 3, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    “TODDLERS” in red is in the middle of the IAS promo. Using toddlers and “children” to coax money out of people, from the church that advocates abortion for its volunteer employees: Sea Org members. Right, sure. We know you care.

    Reply
  19. Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht says

    September 3, 2015 at 12:06 pm

    Valley Phase I construction exciting news is… wait for it… nearly there… the tension’s almost unendurable… erm, smelling something nasty in the boiler-room and scraping something (probably even nastier) off the floor.

    My, what exciting, dramatic, action-packed lives these clams do lead.

    Reply
  20. Fredric L. Rice says

    September 3, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Public relations. ROFL! Can you imagine?

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 3, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      Right! The Church of Scientology enjoys “public relations” with the general public on the level of a Public Enemy.

      Reply
      • Gus Cox says

        September 3, 2015 at 9:49 pm

        Yeah, I guess they’ll teach you how to get a worse reputation than Enron! They sure know how to do that!

        Reply
  21. Gimpy says

    September 3, 2015 at 11:33 am

    “Find out why our founder loved Puerto Rico” – The first thing that came to mind was No extradition treaty with the US?

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 1:25 pm

      Because he was able to kidnap is daughter and take her there to force his wife to retract all the mean things she said about him? Oh, wait, that was Cuba.

      Reply
    • Vicki says

      September 3, 2015 at 2:39 pm

      Haha, my first thought too. :]
      Also noticed the mispelled “seatting” for VIPs.

      Reply
  22. Lori S. says

    September 3, 2015 at 11:19 am

    I wonder if Lionel Ritchie, John Legend, et al., know that Scientology is using them as bait. The music festival has absolutely nothing to do with Scientology, but it’s hard to tell at first glance.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      September 5, 2015 at 10:56 am

      Hi Aquamarine,I trust you will enjoy a wonderful holiday weekend.Sending you lots of sunshine.You pointed out in your post that cancer and I have two different ones, can cause stress etc on a body mind and soul.I know that and since my first bout in 99 colon until breast in 2014 & again in 2015 I have been to my Dr Team,over,counting all labs 36 x a year for 16 hrs now and I was a lady who never went all thru SO time and not until 47 in 99 did I start the rounds.Hubby Walter is the exact opposite of me and when I get very emotional he cannot stand it so this AM I asked him to go get my AM Coffee Start me up and after he left I cried like a two yr old for 25 min straight.All the medical stuff just poured out.I guess some had to do with my two cataract surgeries this week and two weeks later and these darn eye drops 4x a day at all different times for a month and just my being plain tired of IV tests cancer tests blood tests the only thing not done my spirit test and they’ll get around to that I’m sure.You made me feel that I can do something right because I know you believe I can.Anyway I feel a little better now it is hard hard reaching back into the world without Ron but that is how I want it and if I can blow the Sea Org I can cheerfully Ann pick up my cancer burden and hike on until I hit a beautiful cliff and throw that cancer into the Sea Forever.Love U Always Ann B.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 5, 2015 at 10:58 am

        Hi Aqua,Should be seeing Drs 36x Year for 16 years…That auto correct! Ann B

        Reply
  23. Joe Pendleton says

    September 3, 2015 at 11:10 am

    “I always thought I had it (study tech) but it was very complicated.” – Harry McDonald (who looks to be about 65 – 75 years old)

    Uhm, Harry … the first two obstacles and the three barriers. It’s really NOT that complicated. You’ve probably been in Scientology for 40 years. Didn’t you “get it” doing the version WHEN RON WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE (you know, the version HE had issued).? (Was it SO hard to learn going through dictionaries and picking out the right definition? We’re not talking nuclear physics here)

    I’s like these people are under hypnotic suggestion … OK, they ARE.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      September 3, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Hi Joe Pendleton,Your post made my morning.Thank you.Always Ann B.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:37 pm

      Joe P, I know a Still In who confided that it took him 8 years to read Dianetics. We were having a discussion about the Basics and he was defending them. He’s been in Scientology for 45 years. I think many the Still Ins over 60 are kind of dumb.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 3, 2015 at 4:26 pm

        Hi Aquamarine,As I saw that crowd I thought the same thing,and I’m one of them in age.anyway.Cos was supposed to keep those brain cells in the pink.I must admit there are a few cells missing amoung the grey group.More Vitamins! Laughter,Ann B.

        Reply
      • Henry James says

        September 3, 2015 at 4:52 pm

        Yes Aqua,. after another $100,000.00 of word clearing he might be allowed to run a book one session. Henry

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        September 3, 2015 at 7:58 pm

        LOL, Henry James.

        Ann,
        Do NOT say that about yourself. Not for a minute. You are missing no brain cells in any group. Your mind and your brain are just fine. You’ve had some severe body issues and have come thru them like Prince Valiant – well, OK, Princess Valiante 🙂 I know a good deal about cancer and what it can do to a person mentally and emotionally as well as physically. One day when we meet I will share with you what I know about the scourge of cancer. It is obvious to me and to everyone here that you are a person of strength, courage, persistence and compassion. Whatever you’ve been doing has been successful. So carry on. I enjoy your posts and learn from them. And I hope that the sharing of your SO experiences is as helpful to you as it is helpful and enlightening to me.

        Reply
        • Ann B Watson says

          September 3, 2015 at 9:08 pm

          Hi Aquamarine,A heartfelt thanks for giving me a nudge in the backside!Going to cataract surgery Weds & the other eye in two weeks.More medical dragons to slay! We will meet on a beach or pretty cove and have an amazing chat about cancer etc.Definitely sharing my SO tale has really helped flush out the last bits of KoolAid from my viewpoint.It was buried so deep took years to confront.You and all my friends here help me so very much.Always Ann B.

          Reply
  24. Ann B Watson says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Hi Mike, When I first started reading Thurs Funnies,I was amazed that the material was actually used and believed.Now I think every promo piece put out is so out there.A shared accommodation on the “Moneywinds,just the cruise I’ve been dreaming of.Just make sure one is not sharing the space in the engine room or under an air vent blower blasting cold air 24/7.And be sure to do the sailors’shower at all times!No soap or towels either make it go right.I’ll say their lives will never be the same without Super Power.I also could not help noticing the dreary outfits with the wide white belts.Babes to body route in hot pants was one phase now all in the pix look like they lost their golf clubs!And believe me hubby watches any sport any time so I do watch golf too.White shoes?That is a condition task in itself keeping those clean!And the gentle man who resigned his staff contract looks like an early Halloween trick or treat.One last comment I just love the thousands of African-Americans who can’t wait to clear the planet!Most in the shots in fact all are white and I dare say do not live in Harlem.Wait one lady did the student hat.Hip Hip Hooray three times! Always,Ann B.

    Reply
  25. whostolemycog says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:40 am

    Taken from the poster – “Raffy Pendary 3X Cause Resurgance”

    Really? It took 3x for the tech to work or he just likes running around a pole that much?

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      I think they’re too embarrassed to say…

      Reply
    • basketballjane says

      September 3, 2015 at 9:32 pm

      He probably had to do it 3X because he is Ex-SO which means he is a degraded Being. So it takes 3X as long to get through anything.

      Reply
  26. Sir Upticious says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:40 am

    I would love to attend the Caribbean Night just to hear about how much LRH loved Puerto Rico. That would have to be a pretty broad stretch of the truth.

    Reply
    • Basta Ya!!! says

      September 3, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      He loves Puerto Rico very much because he visited this island one time looking for gold but did not find some. So he said he did the first mineralogical survey for that island. There is no record of that anywhere in Puerto Rico. Because he did not find gold he send Sea Org people who found millions of dollars instead. They say the money is for a Ideal Org building but I think they will put that new building in same place where the mineralogical survey was put.

      Reply
  27. scientology411 says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:37 am

    How To Overcome Financial Stress – Leave Scientology!

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      Damn! You beat me to it! But, truer words were never spoken, 411. Leaving scientology was one of THE greatest experiences I’ve ever had. The relief that comes over someone when they leave is overwhelming. You walk around for weeks, or even months with a silly smile on your face. I know I did…

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 3, 2015 at 7:33 pm

      You’re being funny but what you said happens also to be true, Scientology411. Since leaving Scientology, I haven’t had one instance of being broke or stressed out about finances. It just lifted. Proof enough to me of the rewards of disconnecting from suppression.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        September 3, 2015 at 8:21 pm

        Now that’s what I call REAL case gain, Aqua!

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        September 3, 2015 at 9:04 pm

        Yah! Thanks!.

        Reply
  28. Cindy says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:32 am

    On the Super Power Promo, Raffy Pendery is listed as “3X Cause Resurgence Completion.” What does that mean? Does it mean he ran around the pole and did the Cause Resurgence R/D three separate times? Are they now recycling the Super Power completions?

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      September 3, 2015 at 12:14 pm

      Yes, that’s what it means Cindy. He did it and attested to it 3 times! I would love to read his 3 success stories all together…

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        September 3, 2015 at 1:20 pm

        I ran and got the EP! I ran again and got the EP. I ran one more time and got the EP. I wish they would leave me alone as I’m really getting tired…

        Reply
      • The Oracle says

        September 3, 2015 at 7:24 pm

        OSD too funny! Laughter!

        Reply
    • indie8million says

      September 7, 2015 at 5:19 am

      When they are briefing people on what to bring to Flag for Super Power, they say, “Bring comfortable shoes.” hahaha What a massive understatement.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 7, 2015 at 1:30 pm

        Hi Cindy,Your post started the day off right! It continues to astound me what cos-cult gets up to!Always enjoy your posts,Ann B.

        Reply
  29. Kate Bornstein (@katebornstein) says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:31 am

    The new “Harlem Ideal Org” is five blocks away from where I live in East Harlem. NO ONE but scientology calls this neighborhood Harlem. It’s East Harlem, or Spanish Harlem, or El Barrio. I’ll be out of town for the grand opening, darn it, but I do plan to visit soon after that.

    And Mike… “If anyone was truly “full Cause” where does that leave everyone else?” Brilliant. Just brilliant.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      I wonder how many staff and public will be bussed in for this.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        September 3, 2015 at 3:31 pm

        Aqua, I’m not sure, but, I did see about 10 fully loaded buses heading east….and they weren’t smiling.

        Reply
    • Espiando says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      Ah, Kate, you queer and pleasant danger, it wouldn’t be an opening without you. Shame that the clams are going to miss it. Well, you can nail them to the wall later on.

      Reply
  30. Potpie says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Let me get this straight….there were no definitions of words before this new student hat course?
    I bet once they get you on the boat for the jazz festival you will be stuck there unless you have
    completed unreal targets on the course they make you do. If not…sorry no down stats can go to
    the jazz festival. Unless of course you go see Teddy/IAS and donate a sizable amount of money.
    Then you will be good to go the the festival. There is always a catch with scientology and most certainly
    always a catch when you walk onto that boat. Their uptone, lets have some fun ads just never seem to match
    what happens when you set foot on that boat.

    Reply
    • Henry James says

      September 3, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      Yes Potpie, that’s exactly right, before this latest rendition of student hat/primary run down we had no definitions of any words. Our understanding was based on whim, I mean after all we only just found out that an F/N has three swings. Henry

      Reply
    • indie8million says

      September 7, 2015 at 5:16 am

      “The definitions in these new books are SO good, you won’t even NEED a dictionary!” David “LHD” Miscavige

      Reply
  31. RogerHornaday says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Denice Duff is going to show you aspiring actors how to “nail the part” you want using scientology. She “nailed” a role in a 2003 film where she played a “pool lounger” on the credits and she’s “nailed” another part in a movie as an extra in a teen slasher pic due for release in 2016. That’s two movies (almost!) and she’s going to show how scientology can make YOUR dreams come true too!

    Reply
  32. Henry James says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:12 am

    I’m just here looking for the meeting for racial tolerance featuring Arte(Mr. Havingness Personified) Maren as guest speaker…..Henry

    Reply
  33. Jose Chung says

    September 3, 2015 at 10:04 am

    Arte Marin is a special guest speaker on the Moneywinds ?
    I met Arte after he was released from Leavenworth Federal Prison
    that’s were he was in a high risk, high security cell deep underground
    when he looked up there was Hannibal Lecter looking down.
    Arte is so slippery the oil industry could name a lubricant after him.
    True story,Believe it or not.
    I used to check out his clay demo’s.
    and what goes on in his head and demo’s in clay are Universes apart.
    hide your wallet or purse likewise any results of what he promotes
    (run for your life)

    Reply
    • Henry James says

      September 3, 2015 at 4:12 pm

      Agreed Jose, though I think you have come up with a better description for Mr. Maren(slippery) than I’ve read elsewhere. All my experience with Mr. Maren was before his refusal to testify. The word that comes to my mind with regard to Mr. Maren, “distasteful”, I always felt like I needed a shower after being around him.
      Henry

      Reply
      • Jose Chung says

        September 3, 2015 at 7:00 pm

        I have the benefit of being his Clay demo twin and course room twin.
        He is personable and likeable, completely with the program of whoever currently has power right or wrong like Jane Kember ( convicted felon) I stick ( no pun intended) by my statement
        Arte is so slippery”The Oil Industry could name a lubricant after him”

        Reply
    • indie8million says

      September 7, 2015 at 5:06 am

      Now, on the other hand, with Arte, ridicule away. He knows better because he has been complicit with all of the stuff we bitch about, for decades.

      I agree with you, Jose. He’s a lot like Dave Horwedel, formerly of ASHO F. Slimy and carries himself like a cross between a snake and a vulture. Reverse ARC (like an ARC black hole) when you try to talk with him. The flow doesn’t go out, it goes in. Terrible.

      (Yes, I did say that the slime of the universe, David Horwedel is out of the SO and is on Faceboook. “Friend ME? F-you!” I don’t care how many times he asks me, never, never, never, never, never.) Creepy indeed.
      https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009187363424&fref=ts

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 7, 2015 at 12:49 pm

        Hi indie8million,A great post.I’ve seen much creepy in SO and in life but you are so right your post wins for the most creepy! My Best Ann B.

        Reply
  34. petlover1948 says

    September 3, 2015 at 9:54 am

    where are the spiritual gains???? In the opening of the wallets, of course

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 3, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      Hey petlover! Do you think they’ll come out with magical wallets to sell? “Buy one and watch your money disappear…”

      Reply
      • indie8million says

        September 7, 2015 at 5:21 am

        +1 OSD

        Reply
  35. Ms. B. Haven says

    September 3, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Curacao North Sea Jazz Festival

    This poster lists Stanley Clarke as one of the musicians. Stanley blew after completing some of the OT levels back in the 80s. I heard that he was ‘recovered’ fairly recently. If that’s the case, that is truly sad. Stanley is a great musician and a real gentleman. I saw him perform at a very small venue in San Diego and he was a real class act.

    Can anyone confirm his present status with the cult?

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      September 3, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      Hi Ms. B.Haven, Thank you for your post! I had forgotten Stanley Clarke,I wrote him and he was so gracious with his letters back.A beautiful spirit and I am so sad if he has been sucked back in.The undertow will pull a person under.Anyway his music made nights @ Asho F shimmer,many years ago.Always Ann B.

      Reply
    • Gus Cox says

      September 3, 2015 at 9:40 pm

      He’s back in, unfortunately.

      A few years ago I was hanging out with some friends at a restaurant across the street from CC. CC was having their big gala event that night and we could hear the music from our table out on the sidewalk.

      After a bit I heard this glorious bass and perked up my ears. “Is that…? Ooohh, noooo!”

      I listened longer to be absolutely sure. There was no mistaking it, it was him, playing at the fucking CC gala. For a Stanley fan, hearing him play is as solid an ID as looking at his passport. More solid, in fact – a passport can be faked.

      I was actually upset. I mean truly, viscerally, upset. I knew he was out, and out bad, and hearing him at the CC gala confirmed they sucked him back in. Shit, I’m getting pissed off again just thinking about it. He’s such a great musician.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 4, 2015 at 10:02 am

        Hi Gus Cox, Thank you for this post.I was so blue when I read Ms.B. Haven’s post that Stanley Clarke went back for seconds.Such a talented man and to sell your shining spirit to David & co,again.I wish him peace and joy and music that will once again be his if he sees the light of Dawn.But none can force anyone to leave something they believe is saving them.I really could give a few still ins a piece of my mind but I’d much rather post to,you.Also I loved the Sea Org Rice and Beans Epic Meal.What I would have given for rice.When I did my months long eat by yourself facing the wall all I ever got was slightly warm Van de Camps canned “pork & beans” absolutely terrible.Each time an Org fails and they will I’ll make a little bowl of Blue Runner Spicy red beans and brown rice with lots of Tobasco and celebrate.Always Ann B.

        Reply
      • Pepper says

        September 4, 2015 at 12:54 pm

        sorry to hear this Gus. All one can ask is whyyyy?

        Reply
      • indie8million says

        September 7, 2015 at 4:45 am

        Righteo about Stanley Clarke. I saw him in RTF with Chick in about 77-78. Crazy good show with everybody – Gayle too. I thought the same thing when I heard he went back.

        About Denice Duff…I gotta say that she’s a sad story too. Beautiful, kind person and honestly, for her age looks pretty darned good, if you see new pics. I hate hearing her be ridiculed just for sport. She’s not evil, she’s just not drawn the right conclusions.

        Ironically, I heard her speak at an OT Caucus or whatever they called those events where a bunch of OTs would talk. She finished OT VIII and told about her adventures getting there and then right after that said, “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t OT VIII so I could be at that level of cause again.” The cause point meant being capable enough to get through the barriers to get THROUGH the bloody level.

        Very unusual for an OT VIII to say. Maybe there is a chink in that armor. I hope it cracks soon. She belongs out here with the nice people.

        This pic is from April 2015 from an article on TO’s blog. http://tonyortega.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Denice_Duff.jpg

        Reply
  36. John Locke says

    September 3, 2015 at 9:21 am

    This would be like having a car company for 50 years and you NEVER produced a working automobile so you now just scam for donations so as to be able to tell MORE people about your non-working auto’s…

    Reply
    • whostolemycog says

      September 3, 2015 at 10:57 am

      You show them plans about a car that runs on perpetual motion…you bring in people who will testify to driving it…you get them to donate to building factories which will produce it all over the world….but you never let them get behind the wheel.

      Reply
      • John Locke says

        September 3, 2015 at 12:46 pm

        Even better whostole…

        Reply
    • MostEthicalPimp says

      September 3, 2015 at 9:38 pm

      Are you talking about Jaguar?

      Reply
  37. roger gonnet says

    September 3, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Why does ths acam show Denice Duff at 20 while she’s 50? Is that an evidence of how scientology handles PR?

    Reply
    • John Locke says

      September 3, 2015 at 9:59 am

      I had to look her up as I didn’t know who she was. No wonder, 3-4 B movies in the 90’s is all she has done. Yes, weird and creepy that they are using a photo from about 30 years ago.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        September 3, 2015 at 1:05 pm

        Hi Roger Gonnet, I was thinking that also,then I thought she is so OT she traveled to photo shop and presto she looks 20,Creepy to the max.Always Ann B.

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        September 3, 2015 at 3:01 pm

        Don’t worry about Denise Duff. She’s planning a huge comeback in middle age. She, Elena Cardone, Kelly P and Patty Duggan and of course their husbands are among those slated to star in SMP’s breakout blockbuster “Hollywood Whales”.

        David Miscavige has even quoted Shakespeare with regard to Mrs. Duff: “Age cannot wither, nor custom stale her infinite variety”. (OK, he can get a bit carried away when depositing a 10 million dollar check. )

        The point is that, in Scientology, Cleopatra’s anti-aging secret has now been revealed!

        She was, in fact, a VERY heavy donor to the Roman Empire.

        That’s how she stayed so young and beautiful and fascinating to men!

        This principle applies even more in present time within the world’s fastest expanding religion!

        In Scientology, there are no fading movie stars, no over the hill C-list actresses with limited talents!

        So gals,take a tip from the Whale Wives and forget creams, lotions, botox, plastic surgery, even auditing! Just keep those donos coming in and you will remain forever young, beautiful, talented and relevant.

        Oh, and this will also qualify you to give seminars to lesser beings!

        And, last but not least, if at times you have doubts about your own youth, beauty, talent and relevance in today’s world of show business, as a heavy donor, your self inval will be handled with LoveBomb Tech! It never fails!

        Right, Denise?

        Reply
      • Gus Cox says

        September 3, 2015 at 9:23 pm

        Yes, and she fancies herself a photographer now. Basically she’s just a GWAC* and turns out pretty run-of-the-mill stuff. She only gets hired by other clams – just another cog in the scientology jerk circle of people hiring each other.

        *girl with a camera. It’s derogatory. :-p

        Reply
    • Heidi says

      September 3, 2015 at 10:40 am

      LOL! “Good PR; lying about the age of your employees so they seem sexier and more interesting.”

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        September 3, 2015 at 3:26 pm

        Heidi, I don’t think even that would help.

        Reply
    • Joe Pendleton says

      September 3, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Yes

      Reply
    • MostEthicalPimp says

      September 3, 2015 at 12:08 pm

      The SP’s Scientology Dictionary Defines: PR as Lies told to look good.

      Reply

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