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Holiday Funnies

December 24, 2020 By Mike Rinder 28 Comments

A special edition of the Funnies just for the holidays. There is an apparently endless stream of “Holiday” promotion — though scientology of course does not recognize Jesus as anything but part of the “R6 bank.”

 

Virtual Freewinds

Wouldn’t you like to be at the Freewinds for the holidays? So, to entice you to go there, they are holding a virtual concert in Los Angeles? WTF?

 

Virtual Hawaii

And the point of this?

Strictly a fundraiser obviously. What does Bodhi Elfman have to do with Christmas? Or Hawaii? Or anything at all?

 

Well, they are going to do some singing… I guess this makes it a Hawaii Christmas?

 

From Chief Body Reg

It’s that special time of year again where you are supposed to give me your money.

Actually, it’s not so special. It’s every day.

Seems a strange choice of person to be sending out the good wishes from Tampa “ideal” org.

 

 

 

Yo Ho Ho

What public is this supposed to be for?

Kids?

Isn’t this supposed to be the place where you do OT 8?

A Couple of Jolly Fellows

Just itching to take your money. Bedecked in gold jewelry and status badges, these two will bring the spirit of Christmas giving your way. You give us your money as your Christmas sacrifice.

Actually cannot think of anythi9ng more antithetical to Christmas than what these two conmen stand for.

 

More Freewinds?

Why would anyone choose at this time to bottle themselves up on a floating petri dish?

But then you read the fine print and it seems to say that you will spend 14 days at their “resort facility in Aruba” — so I guess even the Freewinds doesn’t think it’s OK to be on the Freewinds? But if that’s the case, why is Santa arriving in the stack?

Boy, are their messages confused.

 

 

CC Int is in the spirit

Dave Petit puts on a red double-breasted blazer, and voila. It’s Christmas.

Wonder if he mentions the R6 bank in his special Christmas sermon?

Or utters those famous words from L. Ron Hubbard: “The man on the cross. There was no Christ.”

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Alexandria Gaffney, Aruba, Bodhi Elfman, CC Int, Christmas, Dave Petit, Freewinds, Hawaii, Ideal Orgs, Jim Bridgeforth, Kate Ceberano, L. Ron Hubbard, tampa org, Tom Cummins

Comments

  1. Nancy Vasta says

    December 27, 2020 at 2:47 pm

    I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family at home.My husband and son did all the cooking.It was your typical Italian celebration.Meaning there was enough food left over to feed a small country.Late at night when everyone went to sleep,I stayed by myself and listened to traditional Christmas carols sung by various opera singers because that is how I roll.Leah and Mike,I hope you enjoyed spending time with your respective families.I look forward to your next podcast very much.Be well.

    Reply
  2. kimo says

    December 26, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    Wow, Kate Ceberano doing a Hawaiian Christmas. The Scilons can’t find an artist FROM Hawaii to sing there? They have to import?

    I mean, of my high school graduating class (Oahu), there are seven or eight performing ensembles out there making their living with music. Surely scientology has SOMEONE local to perform instead of importing someone from Australia.

    Sheeeeesh.

    Reply
  3. PeaceMaker says

    December 25, 2020 at 11:32 am

    Zoom at least allows the outsiders they now rely on to help the remaining orgs that are too small and failed to fund their own building projects, to conveniently drop in.

    I see that Jeffrey Augustine has pictures of the Los Feliz mission boarded up. A lot of the orgs still are, though there are reports that they continue to do business behind the wood sheets, perhaps hunkered down in fear of more ‘bullbait.’ I suspect quite a few of the missions, many of which were apparently on their last legs anyway, will never reopen, at least not in a location other than a missionholder’s spare room.

    Reply
  4. I Yawnalot says

    December 24, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    Kate Ceberano. A name that resonates with me as a complete, snobby asshole. I had the unfortunate experience of having to put up with that horrible person back in the day in Sydney. Now though, I take some satisfaction that she has buried herself neck deep in the misery that is Scientology. Apparently that lifestyle, pampering and ass licking by the minions who service her every pseudo spiritual need agrees with her. Tom would make an ideal twin for her for any Scientology kick in the head procedure

    Reply
  5. Briget says

    December 24, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    Wow. They are scraping. Hanging from the hips, head in the bottom of the barrel scra-ping!

    And a very Merry, Un-Scilon Christmas to everyone here! I hope we all enjoyed a deadline free Thursday afternoon prepping to celebrate with loved ones in our safe bubble, and Skype or Zoom with those we can’t be physically with.

    Reply
  6. PickAnotherID says

    December 24, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    A bit off topic Mike, but have you seen this?

    “The complaint alleges that recovered text messages also revealed the Ribacoffs and IIG were engaged in fraudulent billing practices while conducting private investigative work for other high-profile clients, including the Church of Scientology in their surveillance of Leah Remini…”
    https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/pi-and-tv-polygraph-expert-dan-ribacoff-lisa-ribacoff-lance-ribacoff-and-their-firm-international-investigative-group-ltd-sued-for-50-million-for-allegedly-aiding-and-abetting-sexual-assaults-and-rapes-of-female-subject-301197166.html

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      December 24, 2020 at 11:36 pm

      No I had not seen this. Appreciate you pointing it out. No surprise scientology is surveiling Leah. No surprise they are being ripped off – splashing their tax exempt money around without a care in the world.

      Reply
      • PickAnotherID says

        December 25, 2020 at 2:02 pm

        Leah’s attorneys may want to contact these folks directly. There may be something in the texts uncovered directly connecting $cientology to what these scumbags were doing.

        Reply
        • Susanne gold-smith says

          December 27, 2020 at 4:02 pm

          Yes… you might want to reach my attorney.

          Reply
    • Peridot says

      December 27, 2020 at 1:20 pm

      @PickAnotherID This December 22 press release is a brand new bombshell.

      Including (at a minimum) showing what is THE TRUE TONE LEVEL of an organization drawn to, employing, and paying large sums to the IIG private investigation firm.

      I applaud the courageous souls—Leah, Mike, all the people who are bravely speaking out, because this article further reveals the danger and lengths to which some of these PIs are condoned, even encouraged, to go to generate client billings and wreck peoples’ lives.

      Reply
  7. Peridot says

    December 24, 2020 at 1:09 pm

    I offer my holiday cheer to all the pals on this blog site. It is a steady dose of sanity to read and participate here. When I scan through these cloying materials Mike has found, I am so relieved to no longer be in. The enormous inner energy I spent beating up on myself because I could never, ever get on-board with the constant demands for ridiculous sums of money. I always inwardly considered there was something wrong with me, and at some point up the Bridge to “Total Freedom,” I would be released of my considerations about managing the non-stop demands for money. Non-stop. Chronic. Insatiable. No end in sight.

    I commented in a different Mike blog post, my first glimmer maybe there was not something so wrong with me was an occasion on the Freewinds, seeing a new OT8 (male) who had just delivered his graduation speech being clamped onto by two attractive young female crew members. They were demanding money for IAS or similar.

    He was struggling to contain his Bad Indicators. Here he was, veteran staff in Germany, and father of four. I was so admiring of all that he must have sacrificed to earnestly manage being a Class V Org staff member AND dad AND persevere (and pay) all the way up through OT 8.

    Instead, talk about bringing your dead cat to someone’s wedding. Talk about abysmal manners. These two crew members completely aimed to crush this guy. I suspect they thought nothing of ruining and destroying his finances, if the guy’s finances were not precarious and in near-ruin already going up to OT 8 on staff member pay.

    Thank YOU to Leah, Mike, the A&E team who took the enormous and fight-filled leap to get behind “Aftermath,” to all of you on this blog, and all the brave souls on “Aftermath.” I am grateful for you all.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS — the real sort with fellowship, security, and space for reflection with people infinitely supportive of each of our true best interests.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      December 26, 2020 at 1:38 pm

      A secret part of me wishes, ‘what in the hell are you talking about?’ That’s a sort of wishful innocence, but it died in me all so very long ago. Those feelings and true examples of what the world of Scientology is and does to the honest, hard working & well natured person still haunts me at times.
      It takes a lot to be honest with yourself, but that’s the only place where a life worth living is to be found in the long run.

      Reply
  8. ISNOINews says

    December 24, 2020 at 1:05 pm

    O/T. Legal Complaint filed by Daniel Szalkiewicz & Associates, P.C. against International Investigative Group (IIG) refers to investigative work IIG allegedly did for the Church of Scientology in their surveillance of Leah Remini.

    Press Release:

    https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/pi-and-tv-polygraph-expert-dan-ribacoff-lisa-ribacoff-lance-ribacoff-and-their-firm-international-investigative-group-ltd-sued-for-50-million-for-allegedly-aiding-and-abetting-sexual-assaults-and-rapes-of-female-subject-301197166.html

    * * * * * BEGIN EXCERPT * * * * *

    Dan Ribacoff, IIGPI Allegedly Aided Rapes, Sexual Assaults, Overbilled Clients Together with Lance, Lisa Ribacoff

    NEWS PROVIDED BY

    Daniel Szalkiewicz & Associates, P.C.
    Dec 22, 2020, 07:17 ET

    NEW YORK, Dec. 22, 2020 /PRNewswire/ — Daniel Szalkiewicz & Associates, P.C. filed a new $50 million lawsuit against International Investigative Group (IIG) of Rockville Centre, NY, a firm run by TV polygraph expert and P.I. Dan Ribacoff. The lawsuit alleges that the polygraph expert from NBC’s The Steve Wilkos Show and his family condoned, encouraged, and incentivized grossly inappropriate contact between their investigators and a female subject in order to retain a lucrative contract.

    [SNIP]

    The complaint alleges that recovered text messages also revealed the Ribacoffs and IIG were engaged in fraudulent billing practices while conducting private investigative work for other high-profile clients, including the Church of Scientology in their surveillance of Leah Remini, and for Gillian Hearst, the granddaughter of Patty Hearst, in her custody case, among others.

    * * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *

    Reply
  9. Balletlady says

    December 24, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    GREETINGS!!

    “IT IS MORE BLESSED TO G I V E THAN TO RECEIVE”…….therefore we EXPECT YOU to give everything you’ve got $$$$ to COS…….& in return you will keep being able to “Move Up The Bridge”….(to nowhere)………& maybe just maybe you will achieve that new MEAT BODY when you drop dead from malnutrition, lack of healthcare, lack of medications, & exhaustion. Quite honestly….no one’s ever got a new Meat Body just YET…but what the HELL…. you’ve got a chance at being the FIRST one to achieve that.

    if you pay in advance for course we will keep your money held on account for said future courses (which you will never take because you’ll be dead by then)…………………………BUT………………

    …………………………All YOU NEED TO DO is to remember just WHO you were in your past life…i.e. your name, former address, position within “the firm”…..etc….ONLY THEN will we release that PRE PAID $$$ to you for said pre paid course….otherwise, if you fail to reveal or remember that information sadly like so many other you will be S.O.L. (shit out of luck) cause we’ll keep you’re money as it’s YOUR responsibility to remember your past despite being brainwashed NOT to……..Regards, David M.

    I have to admit, what a cheap cheesy looking Santa suit…it looks like it’s made out of red plastic trash bags with white trash bag trim……on the FART WINDS……scheez

    HAPPY HOLIDAY TO ONE & ALL! Stay on your toes (en pointe) & keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’ve been up to!

    Reply
  10. Richard says

    December 24, 2020 at 11:51 am

    I’m surprised they still have a “Body Reg” position at the Tampa Org. That must be a miserable job these days. A never-in would look at that title, Body Reg, and question wtf? It sounds like a position at a funeral home.

    Body regging or routing wasn’t difficult in the 1970’s. People were more trusting and would come in and listen to a half hour introductory lecture. I think one of the orgs in LA had a mini bus and they would go out to a park and find a couple people passing time and willing to get in the bus and come to an intro lecture maybe just out of curiosity. These days if they saw Scientology written on the bus they might run away.

    Reply
    • Richard says

      December 24, 2020 at 1:30 pm

      Back in the day a good Body Router would have been skilled in striking up a conversation with a wog and then per the Dissemination Drill ask him “What’s ruining your life?” and tell him Scientology can handle that. It worked pretty good back then but not so easy these days.

      Reply
    • Loosing my Religion says

      December 24, 2020 at 2:22 pm

      Richard I agree, the body reg chief post must be like sitting on top of an active geyser.

      Reply
  11. grisianfarce says

    December 24, 2020 at 11:41 am

    A Very Messy Hawaiian Christmas to you too.
    (I think it is where you put chunks of pineapple over everything?)

    Reply
  12. Zee Moo says

    December 24, 2020 at 11:40 am

    Joy to the world, the body router has come,
    let Teegeenack receive its Reg,
    let every heart, prepare a tax exempt donation…

    You get the drift. Inappropriate approbation of others themes is a First Amendment right. Especially as it is Thursday and 2pm less than 2 1/2 hours away.

    Reply
  13. Free Minds, Free Hearts says

    December 24, 2020 at 10:57 am

    Hm. Is there a clam resort in Aruba or do they mean that the Fleawinds is a resort since it is permanently docked there? Asking for a friend.

    Reply
    • JJ says

      December 24, 2020 at 3:41 pm

      That’s what I’m thinking. They don’t want to admit the Freewinds can’t go anywhere and isn’t wanted anywhere, so now they’re just pretending it’s a “resort” instead of a “cruise ship”.

      Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      December 24, 2020 at 8:29 pm

      We have yet to hear about a Scientology facility in Aruba, so I’m guessing that they are referring to the Freewinds having become just a floating hotel rather than a cruise ship. I wonder if they feel under some legal obligation not to give a false impression that visitors would actually get out to sea like on a normal ship.

      Reply
    • Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says

      December 27, 2020 at 5:22 am

      I think that one is required to quarantine for 14 days to enter Aruba. Therefore the Freewinds has obtained a place where they can quarantine in order to get on the ship. I tested positive for COVID and went into a quarantine facility in San Diego for 10 days. I was lucky, my symptoms were mild and did not last.
      Had I gotten COVID right after leaving the S.O. I would have died immediately with no immune system from full-blown AIDS.

      Reply
  14. Loosing my Religion says

    December 24, 2020 at 10:25 am

    At the moment nobody can’t go anywhere. It’s another super planetary lockdown for these holidays. At least here in Europe. Proposing people to go to the freewinds is just crazy as it is a virtual event about it.
    Here in Europe now we have the so-called ‘English variant’ a mutation of the covid 19 coming apparently from UK. We could have new restrictions and other continents will probably ban us for a while.
    The 2021 couldn’t be better than this year. Hopefully will be the end of this unnecessary cult.

    Merry Christmas to you Mike and Leah and families. And to all the guys following this blog. Do well!

    Reply
    • Skyler says

      December 24, 2020 at 2:16 pm

      LMR,

      My heart breaks for you and for all of us too. Living in a democracy, there are just too many people who have incredibly stupid attitudes about COVID – for example, they cannot imagine not travelling to be with their extended families over Xmas and that is one of the surest ways to spread the pandemic quickly all over the globe. So many people are just bound and determined to travel and say, “Damn the Consequencees”.

      I am reminded of the man who lived near St. Helen’s volcano and refused to leave the area and then was burned to death by that volcano.

      I plead with everyone here to follow all the safeguarding policies that we know of to try and avoid becoming infected. Best wishes and best of luck to us all.

      Reply
      • Loosing my Religion says

        December 25, 2020 at 4:04 am

        Thank you very much Skyler. What I believe important is to accept this moment as such keep being present and don’t let the mind to make movies about it where one becomes the actor.
        My main attention and force is in my family. My daughters are stronger like my wife is and the two granddaughters just fantastic. This is what really counts and keeps me on the right road. Wish you the best.

        Reply
        • Skyler says

          December 25, 2020 at 3:12 pm

          Thank you LMR. I belileve that all of us deserve to remain free from this disease – for sure.

          I know there is no need for me to say this to you. But, please do not take any chances at all with COVID. It is incredibly weary for me but I hope you will do the same and try to stay home with your family as much as possible. I hope you and your family will never leave your home or have anyone come into your home until COVID is a thing of the past (aside from delivery people etc.). That is what I am now trying to do and although it is incredibly difficult to do this, I have been preparing for the past six months and I now find that I wish I could have started preparing even before that.

          I hope you and your family as well as everyone else here will also do the same.

          You people here are all too precious to lose to COVID – and largely for reasons that are just too disappointing. Some people want to travel so they can spend time with their families. I understand the desire. But the price is incredibly high. It helps to spread this disease. Even though it is incredibly difficult, I fear we must make the sacrifice and I hope everyone reading this blog will find a way to do that. I desperately want all of us to stay healthy and to avoid becoming infected.

          Best wishes to all of you. Please do what you need to do to stay strong and healthy.

          Reply
  15. George M. White says

    December 24, 2020 at 9:17 am

    Loved the Freewinds, loved the five star food, loved the Islands, loved the beaches. They could have had me as a thirty five year customer. Too bad they had to screw it all up with LRH’s Scientology.

    Reply

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