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Thursday Funnies

November 14, 2019 By Mike Rinder 38 Comments

 

An “Extravagaza”

On Wednesday night. Should be a big draw.

Maybe they can get the Palestinian community to show up in support…

 

Damning with Faint Praise

This worth a promo piece?

 

They will feed you…

If you just agree to sit through this stuff. It’s like one of those Time Share offers or “your cemetery plot awaits, come for a free dinner at Rudy Tuesday’s to find out how to secure it.”

 

What ideal org alliance?

I thought California was done?

And does this poster make ANY sense? You could be Olivia Newton-John? Why? How would that help the ideal orgs?

 

Ponder this

If you already know how to start a dissemination boom, why have you not done it in 50 years?

 

Is this serious?

Including the PS?

 

 

One key piece of advice

Steer clear of Danny Masterson

 

Getting along just fine as a matter of fact…

Just wait til you discover the big secret. You just mocked it up!

 

“Bee’s knees” entertainment AND “Hotsy-totsy” dinner

Who could resist?

 

Wow, I didn’t know that…

But did you know you can give $50 to ChildUSA and it will actually result in helping victims of abuse?

 

Reefer Madness

Oh, the horrors

 

More camel droppings

Just not from the Camelback house this week. She is actually offering this as some brilliant insight into something?

You know where there are a lot of slaves? In the Sea Org.

 

How to increase your creativity?

Take a shit load of niacin and sit in a sauna….

 

Mighty Meghan

Here are a bunch of organizations that can be informed about the trickery of Meghan inserting scientology into them

 

Again, if you know so much…

How come scientology is disappearing before our very eyes?

 

This is the guy on the tricycle…

He’s going to do his best to take some money from you.

 

And not a one of them…

“Raved” about getting a WTH booklet or OCA ticket

 

The big push is on

Question is whether they can scrape up 6300 scientologists in the LA area these days

 

Human Righters are writing?

 

Who is doing this again?

 

A scientologist chiropractor pushing the niacin and sauna regimen…

 

Heading to Africa?

Why?

Oh, it’s CHEAPER…

 

Human Rights Training 101

Steer clear of any organization that tells you what to believe, breaks up families and hide abuses and abusers.

 

 

LA is positively BOOMING…

Just check out Valley or Pasadena or Inglewood. It’s all those Power FSMs and Sea Org dissemination specialists concentrated in the area.

 

What’s On?

A LOT of “we need your money now”

 

Nothing says “Merry Christmas”…

…like some lectures from Ron and an overpriced CD player.

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: CCHR, fundraising, human rights, LA org, Lee Burns, Meghan Fialkoff, Melbourne, Narconon, New Years Event, Purification, SFO, WISE

Comments

  1. Aquamarine says

    November 18, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Yeah! We’ve had our Cult Vaccine!

    Reply
  2. Glenn says

    November 15, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Nashville.
    The event slated for Wednesday evening is simply an effort to raise the “bodies in the shop” stat that’ll be counted at 2PM Thursday. So, so obvious don’t ya’ll think?

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 15, 2019 at 5:45 pm

      It failed before so what makes them think it will work now?

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        November 15, 2019 at 5:54 pm

        To: Alcoboy
        From: David Miscavige COB RTC
        Re: stat pushing.

        YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT, ALCOBOY! NOTHING WORKS AT NASHVILLE ORG! BECAUSE THEY CAN’T GET ANYTHING RIGHT! KNOW WHY PEOPLE CALL ME TINY BOOTS? BECAUSE OF THOSE DAMN SIZE 4 1/2 COWBOY BOOTS THAT RENEE DUSZAK SENT ME WHEN SHE WAS E.D. THERE! SHOULD HAVE SENT HER ASS TO THE RPF ALONG WITH HER HUSBAND BRUCE!

        ML
        Dave

        Reply
  3. Linear13 says

    November 15, 2019 at 9:00 am

    Empty stats…every week I love to see the empty stats. 2041 people came through the haunted house of Mission of Foothills (I agree with poster below this sounds padded). 10,000 people have watched Christopher King 1 hr videos to become ‘familiar’ with him? And the Meghan Fialkoff promo piece (what they left out the ‘glamorous’ before her name this time…puke) is padded with so many organizations that it’s just a confusing mass of bloat. Every organization she’s ever given a handshake to is mentioned it seems. That’s dissemination though!

    Not one stat on how many people since the haunted house have come to the mission to use that OCA ticket. Not one stat on Christopher King that means anything at all.

    Plus the never ending seminars on ‘dissemination’. My god get a new word. Forget that dictionary and get a thesaurus. Every time I hear ‘dissemination’ I think of ‘insemination’ which is technically what they are trying to do with Scientology…just inject it into everyone and turn them into a perfect ronbot.

    Reply
  4. unelectedfloofgoofer says

    November 15, 2019 at 3:29 am

    If only Miscavige could make up new services with fantastic end phenomena, that this time will solve all the parishioners’ problems. The more mysterious the better, in specially constructed top secret facilities of course.

    Reply
  5. WhatAreYourCrimes says

    November 15, 2019 at 2:07 am

    I sometimes wonder why I look at these every Thursday.

    Scientology is so fucking dreary. How can the Still-ins even stand it?!?

    Reply
  6. Aquamarine says

    November 14, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    “I am a member of the San Francisco OT Committee and I am listening to the LRH Congresses”. – Lynn Tardibuono.

    Fascinating, Lynn! Absolutely fascinating!

    Interest-wise I’m not sure that what you’ve just shared can be topped, but I’m going to try!

    ” I am a member of the Sierra Club, and I am cooking meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner tomorrow nite! Oh, and I’ll probably toss a green salad too! Not sure what kind of dressing though, because I like vinaigrette, and he likes Russian! Well, either a salad, or, I’ll steam a side green beans with lemon butter sauce! Then again, maybe I should serve both! In any event I’ll let all of you know immediately, as soon as I make these final decisions! – Aquamarine.

    Reply
    • Phillip says

      November 15, 2019 at 4:17 am

      Tell me more about this lemon butter sauce that you speak of.
      Is it easy to make?
      Is it just lemon juice and butter?
      How long does it take?
      Since you’ve gotten my mouth watering, you’re now on the hook to tell me everything I need to know to make it.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        November 15, 2019 at 6:38 pm

        A guy who cooks!
        How nice!
        How useful 🙂

        Lemon butter sauce is simplicity itself.
        Its not really a sauce per se, just melted butter with fresh lemon juice.

        Melt 1/2 stick unsalted butter in a saucepan on very low heat so that it doesn’t burn or get brown.
        Once its all liquid, squeeze in juice from 1/2 lemon; stir.
        Keep warm, and pour over steamed broccoli/string beans/asparagus.
        That’s it!

        You can make it more or less buttery or more or less lemony to taste.
        I’m a lemon freak so I like to really taste the lemon.

        In fact, I’m such a lemon freak that I even sneak a bit of lemon juice into mashed potatoes, (but only when I’m making them for myself.) A few drops, along with the butter, milk, some sour cream, salt and pepper. Really good!

        Reply
        • Phillip says

          November 16, 2019 at 10:48 pm

          Thanks, Aqua, for the good info.

          Reply
    • Glenn says

      November 15, 2019 at 8:19 am

      Aqua,

      Interesting to see Lynn Tardibuono there. She was in charge of the GO Legal Bu at Flag when the Flag Base moved into Clearwater. About 5 years later she blew from the SO after many months in the RPF. She eventually settled in Santa Rosa, CA and opened a mission. It failed and she shut it down years later. Back in the 70s her entire family was “in” the cult. But they all left decades ago. Today the she and hubby sell mortgages to folks and make big commissions. Enough to allow her to complete the oat tee levels and give a million to the SF Org a while back. Yep, sucking money from people is what this cult and its members do. Nothing in real exchange ever.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        November 15, 2019 at 3:48 pm

        Interesting, thanks, Glenn! And yah, “sucking money from people is what the cult and its members do.” Except that have trouble getting it from “people” so they focus on sucking it from EACH OTHER.

        Reply
        • Glenn says

          November 15, 2019 at 10:18 pm

          You’re welcome Aqua. Always happy to share what I know.

          Yes the blood suckers turn on each other. I am so proud to have NEVER stooped so low!

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            November 15, 2019 at 11:03 pm

            Me too!

            Reply
        • Glenn says

          November 15, 2019 at 10:49 pm

          And there are some real slick vultures out there. I was duped for hundreds of thousands before I woke up and escaped. So, so much happier now and my personal integrity is fully restored!

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            November 15, 2019 at 11:19 pm

            I’m sorry, Glenn.

            Bastards!

            I get what you mean, though, as regards your personal integrity having been fully restored. I understand how that lifts one up. I’m glad you’re much happier now. I am too!

            Reply
            • Glenn says

              November 17, 2019 at 11:43 am

              Thank you Aquamarine. I am glad you are happier too now.

              The old saying “the truth will set you free” seems to be fitting here. Took me a while to find the balls to confront it but once I did happiness flooded in.

              Interesting side note; I’ve had other cults approach me since leaving scamtology. I squelch their attempts to “get me” by telling them I’ve been in a cult and have no interest in a new one. They never come knocking on my door again. So, that’s some good I got out of my time “in” after all.

              Reply
              • Aquamarine says

                November 18, 2019 at 2:24 pm

                Yeah! We’ve had our Cult Vaccine!

    • Alcoboy says

      November 15, 2019 at 5:41 pm

      Sounds yummy, Aqua! Can I come over for dinner?!

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        November 15, 2019 at 11:12 pm

        Awww, thanks, Alco. Rain check for you 🙂 Due to my nutty schedule and his nutty schedule, singly or together, we eat out a lot, so cooking at home is actually fun and a treat!

        Reply
        • Alcoboy says

          November 17, 2019 at 10:42 am

          Okay.

          Reply
  7. Alcoboy says

    November 14, 2019 at 10:31 pm

    This is unrelated but I think that Scientology is like that movie ‘The Interview ‘ where Seth Rogen and James Franco are sent to North Korea to eliminate Kim Jong Un. When Franco’s character asks if the CIA expects him to believe that Kim Jong Un doesn’t pee and poop, the operative says ‘Of course he pees and poops! He just tells his people that he doesn’t and they believe him’. Sounds like Miscavige to me.
    Later on in the film, Kim Jong Un farts while being interviewed by James Franco. A North Korean family watching this sees this and the father cries out “He farted! He’s got a butthole! He’s not a god!”.
    So there is our mission; to get Tiny Boots to fart.

    Reply
  8. PeaceMaker says

    November 14, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    Scientology’s “boom” of 50 years ago was mostly due to there being a flood of hippie boomers just looking for something – anything. At one point there were about 10,000 people a month arriving in Haight-Ashbury to “find themselves” or whatever.

    The “magic formula” or “secret” for Scientology dissemination lay in taking advantage of the unique conditions of the 1960s – but they’ve never been ones to properly understand cause and effect, and in fact part of what once worked for them was confusing causation and correlation in a way that people will no longer buy, either. It started failing about half a century ago, and has hardly worked at all in about 3 decades.

    So what is that saying, about trying the same thing and expecting different results?

    Reply
  9. cindy says

    November 14, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    I think the Foothills Msn padded their stats of over 2,000 people going through their haunted house. Sounds like way too many people to go through.

    Reply
  10. George M. White says

    November 14, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    I received an e-mail asking questions about the Satanic origins of Scientology, but the link will not post to the previous correct blog. At any rate, I can answer the questions once this is cleared up.

    Reply
    • George M. White says

      November 14, 2019 at 7:05 pm

      Thank you, Mike. All cleared up and questions answered.

      Reply
  11. Old Surfer Dude says

    November 14, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Nothing says “MERRY CHRISTMAS”…like, um, like, um. Oh! Who am I kidding!!! Scientology sucks!

    Reply
  12. Old Surfer Dude says

    November 14, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    WISE! What a stupid word for Scientology.

    Reply
  13. Old Surfer Dude says

    November 14, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    How to increase your creativity! Just take shit load of niacin & sit in a sauna…for a very, very looooog time!

    Don’t worry, folks. It happens.

    Reply
  14. Zee Moo says

    November 14, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    All of this renewed focus on ‘dissemination’ just highlights the fact that Staff can’t bring in new meat. And all that crap about being a ‘FSM’ is just the carrot being dangled in the public’s face. Yeah, bring in new meat and got 10% of the take.

    That crap may have worked in the ’50’s, when Lron put dreams of well paid Auditors in every bodies head, but that tune won’t play now homie.

    Reply
  15. Old Surfer Dude says

    November 14, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    The State of Oklahoma is going to pot??? Really? Hey!!! I’m in!!!

    Reply
  16. SILVIA says

    November 14, 2019 at 11:22 am

    The Foothill Mission detailed all they did to distribute the WTH…, but no word at all about any new people reaching the Mission. Thanks God no one fell for it, thus they will not be ripped off and lied to.

    Reply
    • Miss Dutch says

      November 14, 2019 at 2:30 pm

      I couldn’t help but notice all the ‘Danger/Toxic, Poison/Keep Out, and Warning/ Mutant Zone’ signs in the so-called Haunted House. Those belong on the FRONT OF THE ORG building everyday! Wait, maybe that’s where they got them!

      Reply
  17. Janelle says

    November 14, 2019 at 11:11 am

    Do the people from Hamilton know the Long Island org is using their image? 🤔

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 14, 2019 at 1:06 pm

      They steal ‘images’ all the time! That’s what they do.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 15, 2019 at 12:18 am

      Probably not.

      But never mind, gotta ginn up that Spirit of Play. Can’t have them feeling “serious” while we’re pressuring them into irreversible debt, can we?

      “Wheeee!!!… I’m broke!!..Can’t pay the mortgage! Gonna lose the house, but like, who cares? its all good!!… Spirit of Play!!! I’m playing BIG!!! I’m a BIG being!!! Nothing can strike me down!!! Whoo hoo!!!! Thanks, LRH!!! Thanks, COB!!!”

      Reply
  18. Xenu's Son says

    November 14, 2019 at 11:00 am

    Extravagaza. Invite some Palestinians.
    Funny like many of the other intro notes this week.

    Reply

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