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Thursday Funnies on Saturday

August 13, 2022 By Mike Rinder 27 Comments

 

 

As I put the podcast announcement on the blog on Thursday, The Funnies took a back seat. Here they are, in all their glory…

 

6th Anniversary of futility

They’ve brought in 2 NSO professional FSMs to host their Sea Org Org anniversary.

Home utterly pathetic.

 

 

Applied Scholastics Open House

Hosted at LA Org.

Though this is a completely “secular” activity. Wink wink.

 

Good luck with that

This program has already had trainees on it for a year and they haven’t even sent their people to START!

 

Class VIII auditor…

Really? Wait til RTC hears about this.

No training certificate is valid if it is not “GAT 2” and there is NO GAT 2 Class VI course, Class VII course of Class VIII course.

 

The massive Chicago event

Here are two shots of the event billed as the milestone, game-changer that would put them over the top and land them right on the front porch of eternity. They brought in “management” speakers and it was a really big deal.

Witness “scientology Chicago.”

 

It makes you wonder….

“Being on staff has been the most stabilizing experience of my life”

What sort of life has this guy led?

 

They’re sending them to Flag for “full hatting”?

They can’t even train staff on hats in Chicago.

Wonder if this guy is NOI?

Wow, that’s a LONG way to go

What’s wrong with Toronto?

Or Cambridge — that “ideal” and so is Montreal?

The prices must really be cheap there…

 

Following Ron’s “Sunday Service journey”

Just a word. It wasn’t in his plan at all.

It was a gimmick dreamed up the GO to make scientology seem religious.

 

40 years of futility

You would think that after 40 years of applying the ONLY administrative technology that works to build organizations, this would be something more than a hole in the wall…

 

See what’s bothering them….

How to handle “black PR”

It should really say “What do I do when someone knows the truth?”

 

Still “gearing up”

 

Changing the universe…

She is no doubt sincere.

And completely delusory.

 

Haven’t heard from Jobur in a while

Everything in Africa seems to happen at the AO.

Wonder if there is anyone actually on service at Jobur?

 

Kiddie Corner

Oh dear.

 

And dear me…

 

Kyiv is #1

And what does THAT say about state of the Mission network!

 

You wont get worse…

Even if you can’t spell.

 

Coming to you live?

Really? The ship is sailing into Chicago?

 

Cashing in on “Mr. Cruise”

How clever

 

They are ON FIRE

It will be amazing.

 

Seriously?

The motto of the Sea Org is “We Come Back”

Where’s the Commodore?

 

What happens in life after doing Super Power?

You sign up for whatever the next thing is that is going to give you what they promised on the last thing.

The Running Program maybe?

And that one you can just do and then do again and again.

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Anna Carnuck, AOSHAf, AOSHANZO, Applied Scholastics, Chicago org, Columbus, Columbus Org, Dublin Org, Flag, Foothills Mission, Freewinds, joburg, Kiddie Corner, Kyiv, Super Power

Comments

  1. Geoff Levin says

    August 16, 2022 at 3:29 pm

    I see more child abuse. Indoctrinated at a very young age.

    Reply
  2. Xenu Cruise says

    August 15, 2022 at 12:12 pm

    Please tell me a bus full of Alzheimers patients got lost and wandered into the Chicago Ogre photo. If Illinois had casinos, the scio’s would never see anyone in that picture again.

    Reply
  3. Samuel T. Alter says

    August 14, 2022 at 1:12 pm

    I don’t understand why so many of your blog entries this year have been taken up with Lili R’s story.

    Is it because you are finding it difficult to find new topics? Since the cult has been steadily shrinking since the 1980s, I can certainly understand why you would be having difficulty coming up with new topics.

    But don’t you think this could interfere with Lili writing her own book? Surely she might like to publish her own book and it certainly doesn’t seem that she would be earning any revenue by posting her book on your blog for free.

    Or could it have something to do with your plans to release your own book? I would think many of the ideas or stories you are planning to write about in your own book could be duplicated in Lili’s articles.

    I anticipate your response will likely be, “If you don’t like it, why do you continue to read it? In fact, why do you even bother coming this site? That is certainly an easy way to dismiss my question. But you do write some interesting articles sometimes and it’s just kind of a slog to read thru parts of Lili’s story so often. The truth is that I did read some of Lili’s early excerpts. But for a long time now, when I see any issue of this blog is part of Lili’s memoirs, I just can’t read it. I find it just does not pique my interest at all.

    I Know that I do not speak for anyone else here and I’m sure many will clutch to their devotion of Lena’s TV show and one way or another, they will say that, “Mike Rinder can do no wrong”. But history has shown there are almost no living saints and it’s a dangerous notion to say that anyone is a perfect human being and can do no wrong.

    So I can’t help but wonder why so much of this blog lately has been devoted to Lili’s story. I would encourage her to try and get a book published instead. That would certainly afford her the opportunity to be rewarded for her work.

    Many people here may well ask why this is any of my business. But any time someone publishes something in the public domain, it becomes everyone’s interest who chooses to take an interest.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      August 14, 2022 at 2:38 pm

      Well Samuel, perhaps you should ask Lili. She chose this venue to tell her story, and I gladly obliged. I find her writing style and wit to be refreshing and entertaining. And it gives me a break on Sundays. Doing a blog post daily can become a burden.

      Sorry you don’t enjoy it.

      Why don’t you take a break on Sundays and read something else.

      There are only a few more installments to come.

      Who knows, someone else might want to contribute Sunday material….

      Reply
  4. Paul Ronk says

    August 13, 2022 at 10:21 pm

    The pics look really thin on qualified reg prospects. There isn’t enough people to pile in front of a camera to look like there are any people to give a shit. Things are about to get even worse in the next few months. I still know people that are in and on staff. I know people in the S.O. I know people at Flag on VI and VII. Humans don’t really stand a chance, if some two bit snake oil salesman like hubbard could create something that keeps running forty years after his death. What could someone that was actually smart and not crazy but patient accomplish?

    Reply
  5. jim rowles says

    August 13, 2022 at 6:10 pm

    No mention of public on courses, auditors completing theory/practical on the levels, or well done auditing hours and PCs moving up the grades. No mention of books sold, public brought in, or intro course completions.

    OH! Sorry! I must be thinking of the 60’s and 70’s Scientology.

    What the dickens these ads are for are simply NOT the scientology of yesteryear.

    Reply
  6. Samuel T. Alter says

    August 13, 2022 at 5:40 pm

    Mommy and Daddy? We were talking about religions in school today and the teacher asked everyone to explain what it meant to be Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or Muslim. When it was my turn, teacher asked what it meant to be Scientologese.

    I wasn’t sure. But I said it must mean that Mommies and Daddies always scream at each other about money. Was that right, Mommy? Daddy? Hello? Did you hear me Mommy? Daddy? Are you listening to me?

    Reply
  7. Glenn says

    August 13, 2022 at 3:59 pm

    Flyers asking us to become auditors at the Chicago Ogre came in the mail today. But we live 2000 miles away from there so why are we picked? Oh yeah, Blubbard said the amount of money coming in is related to the amount of particles sent out. Good luck with that crap Chico. Your mail to us went straight from the mail box to the garbage can.

    Reply
  8. I Yawnalot says

    August 13, 2022 at 2:21 pm

    Chan the shameless Man in ANZO? How depressing.

    Reply
  9. Jere Lull says

    August 13, 2022 at 12:30 pm

    REALLY!? Sea Org Day was yesterday? I was thinking I’d set up a grill in a certain park and hand out burgers and hot dogs to the FSO crew. “In recognition of your selfless service.” That’s exactly what they’d enjoy right now, I’m sure. Maybe some sodas and ice cream to help cool off.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 13, 2022 at 7:26 pm

      Funny you say that. When I first joined staff many decades ago, the SO was in the same building. My first inclination when I saw them was do a similar thing for them. I was relatively fresh out of years of military service and they really looked like they needed to get out in the sunshine and enjoy a social day outdoors.
      In the military they treat you more or less as being human with basic needs, not so with Scientology – it’s a hard, rotten, waste of life, especially when you realize betrayal is the only reward for such dedication & sacrifice.
      From every angle you look at it, nothing good comes from being connected to the Scientology organisation (scumbag lawyers notwithstanding, they are vermin).

      Reply
  10. Peridot says

    August 13, 2022 at 11:35 am

    Being out one can see how, while in, people are stuck in a time loop. Things in the real world have shifted; but people in Scientology remain in a time when there was a discreet amount of television, radio, and newspaper outlets; no internet; and no one escaping Scientology or the Sea Org to a platform from which to speak and write their truths.

    As to the Tom Cruise stuff, or any major Scientology celebrity: If they were really committed to the planetary cause, they would have already—long ago—financed the ideal orgs around the world and any other substantial real estate. Twice, at past ideal org fundraisers, one OT committee got major celebs to attend and fundraise: Nancy Cartwright, and Kelly Preston. But they did exactly as the regular Scientology fundraisers do: they pumped up all the overwrought locals to go even DEEPER into debt and donate more.

    I found this so odd. At a minimum, when I’ve attended other charity fundraisers, if there is an uber-deep pocketed person present, they offer a challenge of matching, tripling, or quadrupling what ‘the regular folk’ do.

    Not even that was presented. It was simply more horsepower aimed at getting people who are middle-class earners, or org staff operating below the poverty line, to take on more debt. As we’ve discussed bazillions of times—but is worth repeating because it is so over-the-top crazy cruel—takes years to pay off. I knew a donator who calculated, as a person in her mid-60s, she would still be paying Church of Scientology debt when she was 93. This person makes $8 per hour working as a home aide/companion for senior citizens and, no doubt, has many other obligations to tackle on her modest wage.

    When it comes to money and Church of Scientology, the fantasy and the reality are so darkly and utterly carelessly different.

    Reply
    • mwesten says

      August 13, 2022 at 2:42 pm

      Its basic message is that money is the way to happiness. Infinite growth. To be happy, one must either make money to spend on scientology or help run the system that relies on the money made/spent by others. In fairness, it’s not very different than the way the US currently operates. Money is God and He grants power and status. Those who don’t worship at the altar are effectively disposed of quietly, without sorrow.

      Scientology is a great example of why capitalist oligarchies suck.

      Reply
      • Peridot says

        August 14, 2022 at 9:32 am

        To @mwesten: That is an interesting interpretation of the C of S, that it operates as a capitalist oligarchy. Very interesting perspective. I am interpreting that C of S as an entity operates off “Money is the Way to Happiness.” When I look back, the amount of happiness that an org team experiences when they close a big rege cycle is HIGHER than when a person completes a service. When a person completes something, is on a “win,” they are sent to the Registrar who will (rather easily) compel the person to give more money to them. Yeah, that’s pretty blunt: the org team and, by extension the entire organization, loves/worships money.

        I wish C of S would stop toying with their flock by constantly (registrars and fundraisers) hammering on the false narrative that, if you donate or do such-n-such action, you (too) will be a bountiful high-affluence person. Is that an implied promise of becoming “an oligarch” too (to keep egos stoked and donating)?

        C of S, as well, puts its members through this other money mind-mess of the Finance & Money courses in Division 6. Those courses seem so rational and useful: how to practice personal economics to foster and grow a stable solvent scene.

        Until you bump into the next C of S registrar or fundraiser. Then all of what you studied goes out the window. Sane financial management principles are “effectively disposed of quietly, without sorrow.” Sometimes loudly, as I one time had a fundraiser yell at me and threaten to route me to Ethics for not agreeing to donate a huge amount to the IAS.

        As so many of us experienced, C of S is a steady, existential pretzel twist on a person’s finances—be sane, be insane, be sane, be insane, on and on. Such a twist, and a treason on people’s willingness to contribute to things they have been led to believe are worthwhile.

        Reply
  11. Fred G. Haseney says

    August 13, 2022 at 11:25 am

    Re: It makes you wonder…

    What sort of life has new Chicago Org staff member Nick Cecala led?

    At one point, Nick had a dream of playing professional baseball, and planned to tryout for the Texas Rangers. It appears, however, that he has been sidelined by Scientology.

    Nick, a high school graduate of 2016, caught the eye of Prep Baseball Report (which helps amateur players in the U.S. and Canada reach their dreams of playing ball at the next level). In 2018, it appears that he played catcher for St. Petersburg College, Florida.

    Scientology Service Completions reports that a “Nick Cecala” completed, in 2017: Objectives and Survival Rundown; in 2018: Method 1, Scientology Drug Rundown, Happiness Rundown, ARC Straightwire, Expanded Grades 0, 1, 2, 3, Clear (notice that in the Chicago Org photo, he’s wearing a “Clear” bracelet), L11 and Super Power.

    Reply
  12. otherles says

    August 13, 2022 at 11:09 am

    (Insert snarky comment here)

    Reply
    • otherles says

      August 13, 2022 at 3:27 pm

      I can’t be snarky about the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie.

      Reply
  13. Ms. B. Haven says

    August 13, 2022 at 10:49 am

    That Chicago event looks like it took place on a nice summer day in the park. It’s hard to imagine being stuck there getting regged within an inch of your life savings when all the ‘wogs’ in the area were probably out enjoying a bit of relaxation time.

    I’m guessing that the event organizers had the Chicago banners and big letters spelling Chicago prominently displayed as a form of ‘locational’ so that the local marks would know where they were when their minds were wandering elsewhere, as in “get me the fuck outta here”.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      August 13, 2022 at 12:37 pm

      Right, Ms. B. Haven — ANYwhere but there and then! PLEASE??

      Reply
  14. Mark Kamran says

    August 13, 2022 at 7:47 am

    These advertisement reveals crisis of confidence.

    Faces with out achievements in real world a make-believe game, knowing the fact it’s fake.

    If you go to main stream religion they never scared of public criticism, as it wouldn’t diminish their existence.

    So why those beautiful and pure people scared of publicly reveling their identity and defending their achievements ,unless they know it’s all fake .
    That’s why no one did and now it’s almost over.

    2025 ,the Age of Extinction.

    Reply
    • mwesten says

      August 13, 2022 at 3:02 pm

      “If you go to main stream religion they never scared of public criticism, as it wouldn’t diminish their existence.”

      This…on the day Salman Rushdie still fights for his life after being repeatedly stabbed on stage by a “mainstream” religious nutjob.

      In a world where 79 countries have “blasphemy” and “apostasy” laws.

      13 of which, punishable by death.

      Reply
      • Mark Kamran says

        August 13, 2022 at 5:38 pm

        Is it norm or exception ?

        1.5 Billion Christians,
        1.4 Billion Muslims,
        1.2 Billion Hindu

        Such incidents are 0.00000001% , which come under rare exceptions.

        In Cults it’s a norm to have bonded labor , mental slavery ( Stockholm syndrome ) , forced oborton, sexual exploitation, financial scam etc etc etc .. look at last 50 years…….this phenomenon is common amongst all Cults before getting extinct.

        Reply
        • mwesten says

          August 14, 2022 at 11:42 am

          If only that were so. You may live in a city/country free from religious violence but to claim such a stat for areas in the Middle East or certain pockets of Europe is insulting in its naivete. Consider, for example, the plight of women, homosexuals and free thinkers across the islamic world. Consider the millions of women and girls forced into illiteracy, genital mutilation, compulsory marriage, and lives of slavery and abuse.

          There is only one religion that systematically stifles free expression with credible threats of violence. And it isn’t scientology.

          Reply
          • Mark Kamran says

            August 14, 2022 at 1:14 pm

            Please read my above mentioned reply again.

            Spread over 200+ countries and 1.4 Billion population, the incidents you mentioned are exceptions not norm.

            Reply
            • mwesten says

              August 14, 2022 at 3:43 pm

              Then don’t spread them. That way we can address those areas where they are indeed the norm. Denying reality by diluting statistics doesn’t seem intellectually honest. And size does not necessarily equal significance. It only took 19 people to bring America to its knees, afterall.

              But what do I know. Why not walk the streets of East London wearing an amusing t-shirt of big mo, and see how “exceptional” your day becomes.

              Political correctness will not solve these problems.

              Reply
              • Mark Kamran says

                August 15, 2022 at 8:47 am

                How do you trap someone to a Cult ? by telling you they are “ exception” , different from rest of the world. They they claim themselves “ exception “ as they know the truth which rest of the world unaware of.
                Followers are promised of “ exceptional abilities , they are warn of “ exceptional events like Doomsday conspiracy in next few years.
                If one follow norm then he seek help from Doctors , Psychiatrist when in need. Get himself educated at School , College and Universities.
                Cults cannot abuse ( physically, mentally, emotionally) unless the followers accepted their teachings as exceptional.
                This is what leads to Stockholm syndrome, which is evident now.

      • otherles says

        August 13, 2022 at 9:29 pm

        As an atheist a Christian nation makes me lot less nervous than an Islamic nation.

        Reply

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