Mike Rinder's Blog

Something Can Be Done About It

Thursday Funnies

By 52 Comments

 

There were no Funnies last week, so some of these are holdovers and thus slightly dated.

 

Celebrate Verbosity

If number of words was the measure of a man, I saw homeless guy who talks to himself constantly on Hollywood Blvd — his output must be in the hundreds of millions of words/ A new Messiah?

 

Perth?

They’ve got about a dozen scientologists in the whole state of Western Australia (and they are responsible for Indonesia too remember…)

Grand delusion.

BTW, the Ron’s Journal they quote from is 1974. Nearly 50 years ago now…

 

This is their Birthday Celebration?

How grand. A cake at the combined graduation…

And these orgs are the safest, cleanest and most hygienic places. Never mind social distancing. We know that’s just “wog” tech.

 

A new video!

Wow!!!! Bet you it’s not different from the old one. There is only so much ship you can show…

 

Does Marshall Faulk know?

He is a poster child for scientology promotion?

 

Some big time completion…

They send these out like they signify some major accomplishments.

They have had 3 people complete basic courses in 2 weeks?

Now that’s “ideal”

 

Class VI auditor

This is a no-no. There is no GAT II Class 6 as there is no course. Thus there is no valid Class 6.

 

They’ll try anything…

 

Get a few kids out for a couple of hours…

And make Hollywood beautiful, clean and safe.

They sound like the fools in Perth.

 

An invitation to freedom…

From the contents of your wallet.

 

An entirely new level of survival…

Which means what exactly? Learning how to live with no money?

 

The planet Ooglach

Wonder if this was the inspiration for Teegeach?

 

They need old china?

Why don’t they just go buy some?

 

Booming to the stars

With their fresh powerful OTs.

The very gift to Source.

 

2 years of Silicon Valley nothingness

I thought they were going to take over the tech industry?

They’re right in the parking lot of Google…

Notice, all they talk about is the future. Nothing that they have accomplished.

 

How religious is this?

Wonder if they use tips from Cardone?

 

This is “Flag”

Are they so desperate now they are trying to attract new public?

 

They’re missing a checklist

“How to avoid regges and save bankrupting your business”  — that would be a really valuable service

 

Free talk…

 

This is going really slowly…

Where is Tom Cummins when you need him?

Bob Duggan?

 

Ventura is the Keystone…

If that is true, then the whole show is going to collapse…

 

Where did it go?

 

Yeah, guess they will have to cancel this one…

But nobody will even notice.

 

A bit dated, but such a classic

The Division 2 ninjas on the treadmills

 

Come celebrate with us

The resurrection of an R6 implant.

 

A “luxury” presentation?

WTF is that?

 

The magic that is Hawaii

and Albuquerque???

 

Chan Man is pumping

March 24th Columbus

 

March 22 Detroit

 

Mar 7 Copenhagen

 

Is this his permanent job now?

52 year SO vet delivering public lectures in tiny mission — along with a potluck.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen

 

Brisbane is going ideal…

This is going to take a while

 

That’s the best success story you could come up with?

 

Are they offering refunds?

Joke.

Can you imagine how desperate they are to be offering a deal like this?

Flag is rock bottom empty.

And it’s going to get emptier.

 

Whoo Hoo

A big hit no doubt?

 

A live streaming event?

They can’t afford to fly her in?

The theme?  The Italian Job. No irony there…

 

Comments

  1. “I saw homeless guy who talks to himself constantly on Hollywood Blvd — his output must be in the hundreds of millions of words/ A new Messiah?” – You are correct – this is PROOF that Ron came back to this planet just like he promised. He’s just deep undercover – he’s pushing a shopping cart and pooping on the sidewalk. Ron will reveal himself when it’s time….

    Reply

  2. Who else is wondering what the Funnies are going to look like next week?

    I’m guessing there will be just as much, but it’s going to have to shift in focus. I’d expect they’d start flogging online and extension courses. But are they going to be defiant – and stupid – and still promote activity at the orgs and missions, as well?

    Reply

  3. This is funny – just occurred to me, in the original ‘war of the worlds’. the aliens were defeated by a biological VIRUS; in the remake, it was a computer VIRUS. If these fools continue to ignore the warnings, this CoronaVIRUS might very well be $’s undoing – GoodBye, Xenu!

    Reply

  4. Tea sets? Vintage TEA sets? Good lord are the sheeple THIS broke? Are their bank accounts THAT empty, are their credit cards THAT maxed out that the cult is now begging the sheeple for family bric a brac which might have antique resale value? I mean, don’t tell me that this test center intends to actually USE this china to hold actual teas for Scientology public! I mean, no way! Golly Moses, you can’t make this up! Can’t the sheeple even get to keep Grandma’s Doulton which was a wedding present, or Great Great Aunt Minnie’s Wedgewood that she managed to preserve in their covered wagon when they pioneered over the Great Plains to Nebraska back in the 1870s? Honestly, what’s next?

    Reply

  5. Mickey Chan isn’t looking very good in that Copenhagen ad. Looks like he just got out of bed. His hair is messed up and his eyes have bags under them in all the pics. I think he was in trouble with Dear Leader for awhile after he let Athens Org put his ‘Obi-Wan’ speech on YouTube. Now that he’s out of non-e he’s working overtime to get that FSM commission. Still he doesn’t look well…I wonder if there’s a touch assist for Corona.

    Reply

    • Sea Orgre berthing – small rooms, bunk beds, a dozen or more using the same bathroom – these are potential petri dishes for the spread of CV 19. I wonder if Tiny Fists has mandated testing for them?

      Reply

  6. “HIGLY COMMENDED”

    Now that is an accomplishment!

    On the other hand, the regs are going to have a tough time without all the fundraising opps now that state after state is shutting gatherings down. There has got to be a collective sigh of relief among those still in who do not just automatically throw money to the cause…

    Reply

  7. The language used in the success stories to be nonsensical. For example : My communication is on cause. What does that even mean ? Or I’m operating in present time . Aren’t we all ? I often wonder if they actually read what they wrote and realize it makes absolutely no sense. “ I got a lot of important data on what an executive is and what he does “ , this success story is priceless . Comedy Central couldn’t have written a better gag line.
    Just an afterthought , Seems to me the Chan man is finding his prosperity by fleecing every Scientologist at every Org and Mission . No doubt the poor sots are desperately looking for any magical thought to stave off bankruptcy and foreclosure from endless regging. .

    Reply

  8. Just got word that California is now in lockdown, starting midnight March 20th. For Scientology’s amazing orgs; that’s a disaster. No “body’s in the shop” , all the promotions you posted cancelled. Events that will no longer will happen. No one on course or getting auditing. No lectures, potlucks, Flag tours, IAS events or ideal org fund raisers.

    Reply

    • They will finally realize that their efforts did not make a difference after all, They were not missed…….maybe a new realization for them….

      Reply

      • I don’t think so. The hardcore members have it all figured out. Any failure on their part will be blamed on SPs. And they will keep doing what Ron says. Totally brainwashed.

        Reply

    • That’s assuming Scientology complies – I think we all know what the history of that is. There is a “mental” health exemption in California’s restrictions, and since Scientology is both a dessert topping and a floorwax, they can claim that. I would also expect that they’d follow the sort of tactics they have for things like health inspections, or police responding to 911 calls, and employ evasive tactics like have big meetings but with lookouts prepared to tell participants to scatter throughout the building if authorities show up.

      Eventually it will be a debacle, one way or the other. Bodies in the shop stats and GI will drop no matter what they try because some members will listen to ‘wog’ warnings and their incomes will be pinched, and if they try subterfuges that will probably turn into a foot-bullet with some real flaps resulting.

      Plus I would expect Scientology’s lawyers may be preparing furiously – and, of course, with no expense shared – to challenge shutdowns of “religious” activity on constitutional grounds.

      We’ll see. It’s strange times, and Scientology is usually always several shades stranger.

      Reply

      • The cult depends on group propaganda and rally’s. So that will be a down stat.
        They will try to capitalize on getting people on course if they are not working. And quickly formulating course rooms for kids so parents can drop their kids off at the Orgs.
        One way or they other they will use this pandemic to push Scientology.

        Reply

  9. I looked at the Michael Blake completion and kind of got a feeling about him and the military. I found his Facebook profile and although patriotic doesn’t say military. The wheelchair got me looking as when I still lived in the states there would be brochures from different scientology stuff on car windows at the VA. Remember, closed and gated parking. They got in somehow! I just hope there not going after our veterans again. Warn any veteran you may know about the cult. Many vets are ageing and looking toward unconventional ways outside the VA.

    Reply

  10. “United states of California!?? Those folks didn’t pass basic elementary-school Geography class, it seems.

    Reply

  11. I can’t stop chuckling each time I see that the “Mission” of the foothills’ ENTRANCE is in the BACK of the building. Couldn’t they simply have called the entrance-side of the building the “front”?
    SILLY me, thinking logically.

    Reply

    • Foothills’ entrance is actually off a sort of alley that runs alongside the building – they are put a positive spin on it even by claiming they’re in the “back,” which they aren’t exactly.

      Sunland is of course now relegated to operating – as much as it can be called that – out of someone’s home. I wonder if that old-timer is “back” because he’s now one of their tenants who has a room there.

      Reply

  12. That 75 MILLION words must count every copy of all his writings, separately. He was verbose, but not that productive

    Reply

  13. “And these orgs are the safest, cleanest and most hygienic places.”

    They SHOULD BE, given the number of slaves they have slaving over passing the white glove inspections, all while coughing their lungs up.

    Reply

  14. That “Class VI”: HOW did he manage to retain or regain his certifications in the age of Dwarfenstein’s demonic rule?

    Reply

    • AFter writing “Dwarfenstein”, I got to thinking: Was Frankenstein Jewish?

      Doesn’t matter, of course, but I wouldn’t be surprised to discover some thought so, since everything evil MUST be in their teeny, tiny so-called minds.

      Reply

  15. About all that “certainty”: I’ve been finding lately that a person’s CERTAINTY is inversely proportional to their understanding of the subject.

    Reply

  16. “HOW RELIGIOUS IS THIS?”

    About as religious as scientology has EVER been, which is to say it’s all about the money, MORE MONEY, et al.

    Reply

  17. I drove by the St Louis Mission yesterday and today and there were 17 cars+- in the parking lot which is the norm. They definitely are not following recommended procedures for the corona virus.

    Reply

  18. Still laughing. “Don’t miss this infusion of theta”. They want to do the event anyway. Courageous.
    They must hope that immediately afterwards they should not make an infusion of antivirals and intensive care.

    Reply

  19. There’s no such thing as refunds in Scientology*. They will quote you LRH, who basically calls you an SP for asking for a refund.
    (I was told by staff that in the 90s when revenue was still high that they would occasionally give refunds. You just get the LRH quote now and an SP label which immediately excludes you from a refund)

    Reply

    • Mark, just examining any of Tubby’s statements closely is grounds for declaration….. AFTER endless rounds of “word clearing” if you don’t accept his bare statements as inerrant truth.

      Reply

      • I somewhat recall refunds being allowed by policy — after which you were forever ineligible for other service, of course. It’s ALL about the money.

        Reply

  20. Did the “Tough Old Man” have an Antonov AN-2 Soviet biplane? A little ironic how many Blubberd accused of being communist, and now these idiots use a Soviet aircraft as part of their advertisement.

    Reply

    • Kimo, quite the old warplane recognition, if it WAS the old Antonov in truth. I suspect the artist simply browsed pics of old planes to fill in the “empty” space, choosing the first one to strike his fancy; no significance to the TYPE of old plane, much less its country of origin.

      Reply

      • I’m sure that’s the case, just as when the Democratic Party used the Soviet fleet and Turkish fighters to “honor our veterans” at the National Convention in 2012. Haha

        Reply

    • In the SO it would be “An asshole without a clipboard” (cause who would authorize the funds to buy said clipboard?)

      Reply

    • Yep. When I was still in, that was me, an asshole with a clip board!

      Freebeeing, we’re free at last, free at last, never to return.

      Reply

  22. Aloha spirit in Albuquerque?

    My Hawaiian ancestry demands that I reply thusly:

    He aha ke `ano brah? You haole kine are loa lolo.*

    *What kind of BS is that, dude? You mainland types are totally crazy.

    Reply

    • In Honolulu, I was Div 6. I got more people in than anyone. And now I wish I hadn’t. Forgive me…

      Chris , my family got to Hawai’i in 1890. They settled in Hilo on the Big Island.

      However, because it was so rural, they packed up and sailed over to Oahu.

      My Dad was there to see the Japanese rip Into Pearl Harbor.

      My Dad and another guy was standing there when an errant bullet hit the friend. I think they were on Pearl Ridge. They were both very young. My Dad was 25.

      Aloha!

      Reply

      • My mom was a schoolgirl in Honolulu during that time. Her dad was part of the cleanup crew at Pearl Harbor. He had a few gruesome stories to tell. The island was blacked out, the beaches were covered with barbed wire, and my mom and her school mates were required to carry gas masks with them at all times. And of course national security created relocation camps for many Japanese American citizens. My mom called it “four years of darkness.”

        To be honest, it makes what we’ve got going now tame by comparison. Be safe, be healthy.

        Reply

      • My husband’s late father was at Pearl Harbor, on a hospital,ship. He only ever said one thing about it to my beloved: “Bodies stacked like cordwood.”

        Reply

  23. I hope some future Scientology Media Production operations of the TV site slips some critical “source” briefing videos onto the Scientology Media online feed:

    a) The Granada interview with LRH
    b) Class 8 lecture “Assists” that tells the Xenu story
    c) The LRH death event briefing video, with Pat Broeker
    d) All of the Truth Rundown video interviews on the Tampa Bay Times site
    e) Lawrence Wright’s interview with Sarge Steven Pfauth on “I’m not coming back” Hubbard at the end.

    That’d be a sobering “Source Briefing” for them coming out of Scientology Media TV

    Reply

  27. “The Truth About Drugs”. If you want to know the truth about drugs, leave scientology. Scientology, a big proponent for NOT believing that A=A in other things they teach teach you that A=A in drugs.

    Every drug, no matter its’ purpose, is equally as harmful to you as any other drug.

    Yet, in supreme hypocrisy, they push massive doses of untested “cures” like CalMag, multi-doses of vitamins, to the point of toxicity and now Rizza Islam (whose facebook claims she is a Humanitarian, even though she is indicted for felony fraud) is claiming that Vitamin C will “resolve the Corona Virus AS WELL AS heart disease”.

    The smartest way to learn the Truth About Drugs is not believe anything you are told by a scientologist.

    Reply

    • One of the big whales, whose name I can’t recall, made his fortune in pharmaceuticals, and the cherch was happy to take the millions he threw at them. Hypocrital bastards.

      Re: the Perth Org: I counted 8 clams in the first photo and 11 in the second one. Kind of gives weight to Mike’s statement that there are about a dozen clams in all of Western Australia plus Indonesia. If they’d had more bodies I’m sure they would have shown them.

      Reply

    • Today in the market checkout line, there is a magazine with all the Scn celebs defending the church of Scn and “telling our side of the story.” They had pics of Kirsty, John T’s wife, Elizabeth Moss, John Travolta and Tom Cruise, all putting out the party line that Scn told them to do. The fact that DM has mustered the celebs to publicly support Scn tells me that he is very worried about the lawsuits he is facing with Danny Masterson’s victims.

      Reply

  29. A treadmill is a good metaphor for futility. “Division 2 ninjas on treadmills” in Scientology even more so.

    “I attended a business expansion club and all I learned is what an executive is!”

    Reply

  30. Scientology addresses the individual as cause? (Central Ohio’s latest completion) No it doesn’t . When he gets to OT8, if he does, he’ll find out all of this was nothing but addressing the BT’s

    As for the Brinkman Family, looks like they don’t have the strength to hold their heads up after the beating they got from the regges.

    Reply

  31. Honestly I just think Michael Chan has the creepiest, I suppose it could be called a smile, but yikes! Oozes that come in to my parlor look. Yuck

    Well, I just wanted you to be the first to know 🙂 If you meet this person just turn around and walk away.

    Reply

    • Just want to say I suggested walking away because a predator’s instinct is mostly to want to run after running prey, (I have more time to watch animal planet these days)

      Reply

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