Normally I would have simply included a couple of these in the Thursday Funnies and been done with it. But this week it hit saturation level and I felt it deserves a single post that gathers together a sample of one week of pitches from the most OT org on earth. The top of the bridge. It doesn't get any better than this, what every scientologist is striving for. The Moneywinds no longer seems to operate on any pretense about "delivering service" -- they are ONLY about helping people make money so they might extract it from them. What is that saying about money being the lowest motivating … [Read more...]
Survey for “Next” OT Level
A little more "come on" carrot hype. And that is ALL this is. You can imagine there is plenty of grumbling about where are the "next OT levels?" They don't get mentioned hardly at all these days. This is a BIG deal for scientologists. What if there really are no more OT levels? OT VIII is as good as it gets? The current "OT VIIIs" look around and think to themselves "I am not really OT." They know it. Everyone else looks and sees "OT VIII's" who are FAR from what anyone strives to be like. The OT VIII's shrivel up and die just like everyone else. They have financial … [Read more...]
The Sad State Of Scientology
You can glean a lot from a single promotional item as the bubble world of scientology continues to shrink and they increasingly lose track of what they are actually saying. Let's take a look at the latest Moneywinds seminar promotion piece and the blurb they sent out with it: First, isn't it just a little odd that the two "other" speakers apart from the International KeyNote Speaker and Officer from the Freewinds have their case level listed? It's never been an outpoint to anyone that the majority of people who are "running the church" at "top levels" are not even clear, let alone … [Read more...]
Maiden Voyage — News From Onboard
The hype has started. Though some of this is "damning with faint praise," especially this first one... "This event had a lot of information" hardly falls into the "monumental milestone, best ever in the history of evers" we have come to expect. "Had a lot of information" would describe an out loud reading of the owner's manual of a new car... And then we have this -- a report about the funny haha joking and degrading "I'm laughing at you, not with you" that David Miscavige traditionally engages in on the first evening of MV. He loves to poke fun at the "OT Ambassadors" … [Read more...]
Scientology Online
They are really pumping this one up. It would normally be in with the rest of the Thursday Funnies, but it is remarkable for a few reasons. First, Tom Burton rates top billing over D/COB for Lookalikes, Gavin Potter. Yet GP is an "International Keynote Speaker" and "Sea Org Officer." Those titles just aren't what they used to be. Second, why isn't Tom Burton imparting his brilliance ("vital LRH tech"?) to help all these struggling orgs that are going nowhere (starting with the Moneywinds)? If this guy is so brilliant why isn't he single handedly changing the course of … [Read more...]
Get Ready For OT IX & X
Hahahaha, they are pulling out the old saw. Release of OT IX and X.... This is aimed at those who have attained the HIGHEST STATE OF AWARENESS in Scientology. Those who have had "truth revealed." "space will be limited" when we release OT IX and X. Riiiiight. So, you spiritually enlightened, cause over the MEST universe big being, come on down and redo your Solo Auditor course. We HAVE to sell you something. This is as good as anything. Mindless. Brainless. Gullible. Suckers. The adjectives that best describe anyone that actually falls for this. And what is so amazing -- … [Read more...]
The OT Carrot Is Wilting
There are 6700 "on or complete" on OT VII according to Mr. Rabey. There are only 2200 "OT VIII" completions? Ruh roh. How come such a small percentage go on to OT VIII? There could be several explanations: 1. The number on OT VII is a lie and consists of people who are NOT auditing or have been declared 2. Any "completions" on OT VII, having attained "Cause Over Life" are being sent to re-do the Purif and Objectives to attain something they missed in their "Cause Over Life" accomplishment 3. Those who are completing OT VII are so tapped out they don't have the airfare to get home, let … [Read more...]
Now THIS is Hype
I have seen a lot of bs hype in my time, but this would make Jon Lovitz's character on SNL blush. I am certain nobody will ever top this, but I have been wrong before about the insanity inside the bubble. But there is no question it will take some doing to out-hype this baby. And who IS this guy and what is this uniform he is wearing? He looks the part of a South American toy soldier... He is building his lapel pin collection. His briefing is of course URGENT. Which is why they did it in Florence, Kentucky ("Greater Cincinnati"). And it is only urgent because the Freewinds is … [Read more...]
Freewinds Going Out Of Business Sale
The prices are coming DOWN, DOWN, DOWN in a desperate last ditch effort to get some money, any money to keep the Freewinds able to buy oil for the generators to keep the lights on. $100 a day for a shared cabin and food is unheard of. The Freewinds used to charge Ritz Carlton rates for their Holiday Inn accommodations (the food was usually above average, but not spectacular). Now they are trying to get people to pay Motel 6 rates. And this is the PEAK season in the Caribbean. Seems the Freewinds is heading for a Mary Celeste* culmination to her 1,465,385.3 miles of 100% Sea Org safe … [Read more...]
The Freewinds Is Quickier
The latest begging from the infamous pirate ship Freewinds. Trying to entice the suckers by boasting speed of delivery. And on a co-audit no less! And suckers, don't forget, they have limited space. They can hold about 250 passengers. Their current occupancy is around 10 per week. So of course, speed is of the essence. Really, who wouldn't want to spend "only" $5,000 to redo this all over again.... And if you agree to go, they will virtually GIVE you a room. After all, they know the real money to be made is on "incidentals." Anyone foolish enough to show up on the Freewinds is … [Read more...]