Mike Rinder's Blog

Something Can Be Done About It

Thursday Funnies

By 84 Comments

 

Don’t worry, you will…

Many times

 

Seriously?

Next. Ideal Survivor — where the last person to resist the regges wins.

I bet this will be a lot of fun for the family. Get the kids up there pledging their piggy banks.

 

How about an ideal uniform

Or at least a clean one.

 

The Chan Man is back

Along with Raffy the Rascal. A pair of grifters of the first order.

 

Yeah, scientology will do that to you…

Delude you into thinking you have the solutions. Funny how nothing was actually resolved. Just that she thinks they’re “not that hard to handle” now.

Judging by the general success of scientology marriages, you just got sold a bill of goods.

 

Ideal staff?

If they’re so ideal how come their org sucks so bad? Or does the building make them ideal? Can’t be that because they have had a building for more than a decade. Oh, it’s the renovations that turns the staff ideal.

Isn’t that special.

 

Gee, could you make the Freewinds viable?

This seems to be an “impossible”. How come you havent solved that?

 

Gee, could you do something for CCHR?

Their reputation SUCKS.

And you are one of their big muckety-mucks…

 

SMP shoots perfect photos and videos

If they do say so themselves.

And it’s all because of LRH tech of course.

Why no Emmy’s?

 

Needs no comment…

A scientology seminar on how to have a great relationship.

 

The book-a-thon is coming

Arms folded. 3/4 profile.

Should bring the house down. No doubt we will be reading all about it…

 

Britain’s Got No Talent

Featuring… the Chan Man. Last I checked, he isn’t British. And he has no talent other than convincing people to hand over money.

 

Amazing Wins!

And a guitar player.

 

They have “amazing wins” too…

And the ED of a Mission? At an Ideal Org graduation? Huh?

I’ll take the guitar player for $100 thanks Alex.

 

Columbus O O O

What do you think this means? A lot of zeros.

Can’t say she looks too overjoyed.

 

Homemade Quesadillas

Now that’s an EVENT!

And Michael Deleon will be there too.

 

Eventbrite is the new thing

(And magicians)

 

I think he is probably a scientologist…

I hope so or he has been completely suckered.

But wonder about his clientele. Seems unlikely a piano tuner could survive with only scientologists as clients.

Doesn’t seem like much in the way of appreciation…

More like he’s trying to earn some FSM commissions.

 

 

Foothills being Foothills

Dancing, baking, drawing, emergency roadside assistance and now self-defense.

Wonder how the “not scientology” approach is working out for them?

Seems it might be a better route given how they are sticking to the “successful action”…

 

Yeah,that’s the ticket…

A bit closer to something related to scientology — but the word doesn’t appear anywhere in their promotion.

Scientology is the kiss of death for scientology.

 

The message is simple

Be There.

Tone 40. With exclams!

You wouldn’t think this would be needed at all if they were the answer to the planet’s problems?

 

OMFG

Now to accompany the Miscavige “Ideal Org” program is the Grant Cardone “10X program”

The same one he delivers to car salesmen…

Sydney, what are you thinking?

 

Danny Masterson conspicuously absent

This used to be his thing. Promoting it with Michael Pena.

 

What you really don’t know can COST you…

They will tell you you have a reactive mind that is outside your control. You can get rid of it by paying them a lot of money. Until you come to learn that you just “mocked it up” and you will be back where you started. But your bank account won’t.

 

An I.T. BBQ

Whatever that is. Slow-grilled bytes?

And then they will demand money for Hawaii…

 

The Malm’s?

They have a SuperPower house? Is that even better than an ideal house?

Is this the first SuperPower couple? (I thought that was Matt and Kathy Feshbach — though since their bankruptcy and losing to the IRS they haven’t been so featured in the scientology promotional items and perhaps they have been written out of Super Power history.

 

One of those odd things to promote…

Isn’t this VERY contradictory to what he proclaimed later in Keeping Scientology Working? He is the ONLY one who has risen above the bank and found the way out of this universe. Ever.

You don’t find much in the way of earlier philosophy about Xenu and hydrogen bombs in volcanos.

 

Someone else’s house…

This must be a new thing. Like Eventbrite. And Magic.

But wonder if this house is just ideal or if it is a super power house?

 

Not amazing…

But prepare to be inspired anyway

 

9 Years of Accomplishments

To be remembered with face painting and a bouncy house.

A little too much joking and degrading here of Dear Leader. This will NOT be well received.

 

Phoenix…

Has never risen from the ashes.

And if anyone were to be dishing out wisdom on finances, it is NOT these people.

 

Grifter Alert

He made his money by marrying it.

Mr. Successful Businessman, not so much.

 

You can’t do shit…

Unless you pay to learn my stuff.

Referring to oneself in the third person is just weird, no matter WHO you are.

 

The State of Word Clear…

Wow

Wasn’t selling well…

So we lowered the price to less than half.

 

I’ll take a guess…

The psychs.

Amiright?

 

The guy who went to jail for refusing to answer questions before a Grand Jury…

A true mast of communication skills

 

Again, what do they know?

And are Freewinds style refreshments anything like rice and beans?

 

THIS is what your millions buy…

This is the best they’ve got to promote.

 

Not really

Where is the Commodore?

How about Mary Sue? Yvonne Jentzsch? Phyll Stevens? 5000 others…

 

Told you…

Magic is the new black.

Sleight of hand and deception seems to be popular in the scientology world

 

Kiddie Corner

Hang your heads in shame

 

Comments

  2. Ventura org promo: A clean uniform? Mike, be compassionate. These are poorly paid staff members who probably can’t afford the dry cleaning bill. When I was on staff I never sent my uniform to the cleaners because I didn’t have the money for it.
    Dallas Org Quesadilla Night promo: would sure love to try some of that flan as well as those churros dipped in mole or whatever that stuff is.
    Dave and Judy Swanson of Battle Creek Org look like they were some of the first Scientologists to come on board back in the LRH days and are probably too entrenched in it to see the light.

    Reply

  3. They misspelled Raffy the Rascal’s name, but that happens to nobodies all the time. Raffy’s bio has fake-it-til-you-make-it written all over it. His web design company lists 6 people in upper management (CEO, CFO, etc.) and only 13 people not in upper management. What a joke!

    Reply

  4. Battle Creek: “lots of places to stay that are reasonable” – – – because, people will come from far away to do services and will need hotels, like …..The Flag of Michigan “??

    ‘zat whatcha all are gearing up for?

    Reply

  5. “Marriage problems are simple” to fix? Only in the idealized world of Hubbard pronouncements. Davey fixed his marital problems by shipping Shelly off to a “siberia” and taking up with his communicatorShelly definitely came out on the short end of the stick, so to speak. Meanwhile, I’m sure that most of us have happier relationships than any I saw in scientology.

    Reply

  6. Judy and David Swanson in Battle Creek? … Hard to believe they live there but maybe the cost of living is low for two OT8s. They were both on staff at SFO in the olden days and “Swanny” was my roommate at two different flats back in the 70s. (Judy was a rich heiress back then, they didn’t marry till decades and other spouses later).

    I’m pretty sure they moved to CW for quite a while, but BATTLECREEK???? … That’s just corny … or flakey …

    ** Judy must be closing in on 80 but Swanny looks great … has more hair than I do now, that’s for sure …

    Reply

  7. “Nothing is wrong with you!!!”???

    You haven’t seen the Reg, evidently. They’ll find, or manufacture one for you

    “THURSDAY FUNNIES” never misses capturing the insanity of the bubble-dwellers.

    Reply

  9. Judy and Dan Swanson are just too old and ‘cute’ a couple to still be dealing with the Munchkin’sÂŽ pure-donation balderdash. Go enjoy your retirement, guys.
    It’s lots of fun.
    Spend your money spoiling the grandkids, then giving them back to their parents. You’ve earned that right.

    Reply

  10. Scientology is so gross.

    Fake happiness in propaganda can not erase the reality of utter despair in the ranks. Just look at any of the thousands of youtube videos of zombies shambling in and out of scientology buildings. These people are not happy.

    Reply

    • They are the most unhappy people I have ever known. And think about it, as their perceived enemy, we live in their minds forever, rent free.

      Reply

  11. On that KC book sales thing: What is a RAW BOOK? I’ve got 1,000 of them here around me and my wife has another 1,000 or so in her library and I have no clue what a raw book is or how to sell it. …

    OR is the SELLING raw? Again, no clue what that is, unless they’re short handing selling to “raw meat”, which is a pretty demeaning concept, though not as degrading and completely offensive as ‘wog’. Perhaps if you think of your potential marks as PEOPLEE an d treat them accordingly, you’ll do better. Just saying…

    Reply

    • ‘Raw books’ are books sold to persons who have never been in Scientology as opposed to selling books to parishioners. This is a significant stat because, by getting the person’s name, address and phone number they can then call the person nonstop and annoy the living shit out of them with stupid questions about whether or not they read the book and did they like it. The goal is to steer the person into the org and reg them for services. So some poor shlub who bought DMSMH just to see what it was about is now being harassed by the org into coughing up more dough.

      Reply

  13. OMG! Zac would do the Student Hat AGAIN! If you didn’t ‘get it’ already, you didn’t actually honestly complete the course. Meanwhile, I found that ‘tech’ to be soundly anti-intellectual in that it creates students LESS confident that they understood what they just read. As I peel back the layers of the ‘tech’ onion, I can see & feel my study ability improve markedly. Study tech is even more distracting since the advent of the Interwebz and all those so-interesting blue underlines.

    Reply

  14. The Leichhardt mission is in Oz, and appears to be one of the glitzy “ideal” style ones that is probably supported by a scientology “whale.” That’s the case in Seattle, and is or was in St. Petersburg – which was recently close for repairs, likely a euphemism for the mission holder having run out of money to subsidize it or having become an “apostate.”

    The former Sunland/Tujunga mission is still reduced to being stuck in the Stewarts’ house – what is stopping THEM?!

    And, yeah, the Foothills mission seems to be running more of an activity center – maybe for senior citizens, given the likely demographics of the remaining diehard scientologists? Is that the cutting edge of where scientology is headed, becoming drop-in centers for members getting too old, and on too many old age medicines, to be sessionable for auditing?

    Reply

  16. Off Topic, and Mike, if you deem this inappropriate don’t post it. I respect your judgement.

    From time to time on this blog the subject of boycotting the works of Scientologists like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and other whale/celebs comes up. Analytically, I’m against boycotting anyone for any reason except that you don’t like his or her service or product.

    Here’s an example: Stephen Rpss, age 79, owner Equinox, is going getting a lot of people riled because he’s hosting a yuge fundraiser for Donald Trump. 100K to be photographed with him; 250K I think to participate in a “Round Table Discussion” with him (whatever that is – maybe Trump will be dressed as King Arthur and Ross will be Launcelot – whatever – its going to be expensive ). THE POINT IS that LOTS of people are going NUTS about this and there are plans to BOYCOTT Equinox. (Stephen Ross also owns the Miami Dolphins but so far no one has said anything about boycotting THEM.) The fire and fury is centered on Equinox – Cancel your membership! Your membership money is going right into Donald Trump’s pocket! Etc. etc.

    This is wrong.

    Now, you must know by now that I am no fan of Donald Trump. Quite the contrary. I find him…well, never mind. I have a decidedly negative opinion of him. Let’s leave it at that.

    I’m not a member of Equinox and I have no idea how satisfactory their services are.

    But if I WERE a member, and were SATISFIED with Equinox’s services over all and liked the staff, etc. I wouldn’t cancel my membership because the OWNER of Equinox is a long term friend of Trump exercising his First Amendment rights to host a political fundraiser for him to be re-elected. He has the right to do that!

    What about all the PEOPLE employed at Equinox? If everyone cancelled their memberships these people would be out of jobs.

    Its wrong.

    Another example: I think Tom Cruise is mostly a bad actor. I don’t see his movies because I don’t like his work. But I can’t see boycotting his films if I LIKED his work. What about all the other people involved in his films, who get employment? They’re not Scientologists necessarily so why punish them?

    The same goes for Danny Masterson. He’s a lousy actor, IMO. I’d pretty much avoid ANYTHING he was in. I don’t like his work. And of course I don’t like everything else about him.

    But what about Elizabeth Moss and Laura Prepon. I LIKE their acting and I will not boycott their films. See, its PERSONAL. You may HATE their acting, and that’s fine. Politics and religion should not be in this mix!

    Going back to antiquity, how many artists, writers, inventors, craftspeople, etc., were TERRIBLE people in their private lives? Totally fucked up? To a great extent we’ll never know. What if we somehow uncover that Michaelangelo was an unfaithful husband who went home and beat puppies for fun and turned his best friend over to Church to be burned as heretics? Do we trash the statue of David and his other works? What do we do with this information?

    Ivanka Trump’s overpriced polyester crap, made in Bangladesh, is a no brainer.

    On the other hand, Rebecca Minkoff’s handbags…hmmm…pretty nice, if I could afford them (which I can’t).

    OK, long winded point being, I think that boycotting anyone’s product or service because of his or her religious or political affiliation is wrong, and a slippery slope into outright fascism.

    Well thank you for reading this because I’m kind of working it out myself too, at the same time 🙂

    Reply

    • I do think though that Dolphin fans probably should have been boycotting their team for the past couple of decades.

      *Michelangelo never married or was known to have a romantic relationship with a woman. He lived to be 88 and painted and sculpted naked men and wrote numerous love poems to young men who he was involved with … not that there’s anything wrong with that.I

      ** I would boycott trump supporter Scott Baio … except I realized I’ve already been doing that for twenty years.

      Reply

      • Interesting data, Joe, as re Michaelangelo, indicating that perhaps he was gay. And of course, so what?

        But even in THIS day and age, that WOULD matter to a number of people.

        My evangelical relatives in Georgia, for example. Those Flat Earthers, the little dears – they WOULD care about information like this They never go anywhere but if they ever visited Italy they might avoid the Sistine Chapel if they believed Michaelangelo to have been other than hetero. In fact, they might avoid Italy altogether 🙂 (Ok, I’m exaggerating but not MUCH.) Once I mentioned to their mother, my late aunt, that Bob Fosse was the only entertainer to win an Oscar, a Tony and an Emmy all in the same year. Her SOLE response? “He was a homosexual, wasn’t he?” … I rest my case.

        Reply

        • Aqua … While I fully support homosexuality (7.5 billion on the planet now and increasing big time every day, no real need to worry about being fruitful and multiplying), your aunt’s comment about Bob Fosse is just another symptom of not only prejudice , but ignorance as well, as Fosse was a notorious womanizer. The Scientology bigotry against gays is so moronic as proven by simple facts of prominent and creative gay people (starting with Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci) though one does not have to be famous or creative of course to be treated with simple respect and humanity … *visiting Italy again in October!

          Reply

          • Yes, Joe, ignorance. She started out as an intelligent, articulate woman. She was also movie star beautiful without makeup. Truly a stunning woman. At 53 when her mother, my grandmother died, her daughter had an “epiphany”. From then on, the unconditional love that my grandmother had for her was transferred to Jesus Christ. JC was so obviously a substitute for my genuinely sweet, kind, gentle, old fashioned grandmother’s unconditional love. From then on it was Jesus in the morning, Jesus in the evening, Jesus at suppertime. Bored me to death. And it did something to her mind, her personality. She became angry, rigid, intolerant. Very fixed, very “ridgy”. The brite, beautiful Aunt I knew and liked disappeared and in her place was this – whatever. Valence? And she got to her husband too, and one of her sons. They both had their epiphanies, you bet. And became even more boring than she.

            Reply

    • Mike: Another sorta off topic…but maybe not. It’s about Masterson. What in hell is the LA DA holding off for? Payoff? Hoping it will all go away? Are any of the victims suing Masterson. Surely there are many attorneys locally who would take that on. Scio’s grip on local “law” is sickening.

      Reply

  17. “Makes me feel that my marriage problems are not that hard to handle?” No registrar needed. A couple stiff drinks will do the same or better a whole lot cheaper. And without something really hard to handle: Being stalked by the registrar.

    Reply

  18. Minor detail, but on the Swanson’s Battle Creek flyer the phone number is divided by periods.

    That ain’t how we do it around here, “so where you from, Son?”

    The rest of the U.S. flyers with phone numbers have it the U.S. method. Makes me wonder which countries use the periods.

    Reply

  19. “Presenting Manchester’s Newest HUMANITARIAN.

    HARRY BRINKMAN”. WTF? Geez, now their going to squeeze a kid for money? And looks to be somewhere between 6 or 7!

    Way to go, Scientology.

    Reply

      • That’s Sita Benetatos if enquiring minds want to know … Had dinner with her and her husband Mike in Denver in early 1991 … last time I saw then …

        Reply

  21. The person (Kyra Keenne) leading the seminar on writing in Hollywood last wrote 2 episodes of a TV show for Hollywood in 2012. Before that, she hadn’t written anything since 2001. (She also goes by 10 other names, according to IMDB.)

    Reply

  22. Wow, Mickey Chan is back on the road. I wonder how much his bag man show is worth to him and DM? Who is it that brings the money to Swiss (or probably Cyprus) banks? Who is the current bag man (men?)?

    All of the prosperity seminars and relationship fixing are hilarious. Brought to you by a ‘religion’ that separates families, requires abortion and sucks the very marrow out of your bones.

    Reply

  23. “We Come Back” ????

    Well… Where’s Is Ron???

    L Ron Hubbard – FLUNK! FLUNK! FLUNK! You utterly failed at $cientology.

    L Ron Hubbard – you are a panty waist dilettante that started $cientology and never finished the job.

    Reply

    • Hey Fatso! Where the fuck are you? You were expected to come after 21 years! Could this all be a scam? Me thinks so.

      Reply

      • This confuses me. When he went to Target Two, that made sense: set up shop on a different planet so that there is a backup for Scn in the universe. He wouldn’t have to do any research, just republish Scn in the local language. Then I expected him to go elsewhere and do the same. There’s a logic to this.

        The general SO member is expected to report for duty after he’s grown his new body to 21, but Buptard has a different mission.

        I never expected him to come back.

        Reply

      • Well, let’s put this in perspective. LRH died in 1986. Pre SO rules he would have come back in 2007. That means that ,currently, the reborn LRH is only twelve years old.
        So give him a few more years!

        Reply

  24. Wryturman, I went to Eventbrite and also noticed the “F” rating by the BBB. Don’t think they will around too long. They need Scientology’s business lol

    Reply

  26. “The cost of this seminar has been changed to $15.00!”
    “Vital data that can be used by anyone.”

    Yeah…. I think I’ll pass.

    Reply

    • The cost has been changed to $15?

      I wouldn’t attend even if they paid me $15. As a matter of fact, it would be interesting to know just how much money they would have to pay people before they would attend.

      For myself, I can’t imagine attending, even if they were to pay me $100,000.

      Of course, you can’t believe any promises they make and so before anyone is willing to attend if they paid people to attend, they would have to get the money in cash before they set foot into any place they said they would hold the seminar. If you just accept their promise of payment, it is extremely unlikely they would ever pay you anything. If they gave you a check, it would almost certainly be worthless. People need to be extremely cautious before accepting any promises these criminal bastards make.

      Reply

  28. “What’s stopping you? Hidden enemy. The reactive mind. What you don’t know ‘can’ hurt you! I’ll take my chances.

    Reply

  31. I invite any other registered EventBrite users to contact them (as I have twice) via the comm form on the EB website and reiterate to them the damage EB is doing to its reputation by doing business with Co$. Perhaps receiving more messages from customers will get their attention. I haven’t had any response to mine so far.

    Reply

    • Good luck!

      BBB RATING: F

      Eventbrite, Inc.
      155 5th St # 7
      San Francisco, CA 94103-2919
      Business Management
      Mr. Kevin Hartz, CEO
      Ms. Julia Hartz, President
      Ms. Dana Kilian, VP of Customer Service

      Fax Number: (888) 227-9643
      Phone Number: (888) 810-2063
      Additional Number: (800) 350-8850

      Failure to respond to 12 complaint(s) filed against business
      143 complaint(s) filed against business

      Reply

    • Kyle, Thanks for the pic of an awesome billboard. Where is this billboard? Who are the SP’s who paid for it? If I’d known I would have contributed to it.

      Reply

      • Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker has the story and maps up.

        Tony covers things from a slightly different perspective than Mike. A little more expose journalism than personal comentary, if that makes sense.

        Definitely a good resource to check out.

        Reply

    • Where’s Kat L??? She is a great motivator and I believe, she was for a billboard. I hope she sees the blog tonight

      Reply

    • Hey guys! The billboard was the brain child of three of us! Stefani, Michelle and I created it and formed an LLC (SPs for change) and started a go fund me for it. The funding was short so one of us put up the difference (btw- we are donating ANY proceeds now to the aftermath foundation). We used the first donations to secure the sign and create the LLC but we are not going to stop the go fund me- just donate any more that comes in straight to the foundation! Thanks for the shout out! Like I commented yesterday, there are also several official investigations open now.

      Reply

  33. Captain Homunculus is still laughing all the way to the bank while ordering his next pallet of Macallan Reserve…

    Reply

      • The Felching Fakir of Fantastic Fraud
        The Emir of Ecclesiastical Effluvia
        The Dynamic Demigod of Dicks, Dipshits, and Dim-Wits

        A Teegeeackian Titan
        A Profoundly Pompous Ponce
        A Spewer of Polysllabic Propaganda
        A Bitch Slapper And Asset Trapper

        All Hail Captain Applebox, preening putz, stumpy schlemiel !
        In the name of the numbered accounts, the secret hideaways, and continual process server evasion,
        Ramen!

        Reply

  34. The Foothills mission teaching people self defense might be appropriate, since the entrance is round back of a strip mall, in an alley!

    Reply

  35. DAVE: What the fuck are these clowns doing with all those bar-b-ques and seminars?

    SYCOPHANT: I believe they call it ‘the spirit of play’ sir.

    DAVE: So glad I don’t have to deal with these idiots.

    SYCOPHANT: You’re so right sir.

    Reply

    • To : Scribe
      From: David Miscavige COB RTC
      Re: Syncophants

      YOU ARE NEVER TO REFER TO MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS AS ‘SYNCOPHANTS ‘ EVER AGAIN! ONE MORE INFRACTION OF THIS ORDER AND YOU WILL BE SENTENCED TO DOING THE STUDENT HAT COURSE FOR AS MANY TIMES AS I DEEM NECESSARY! AND YOU WILL PAY THE REQUIRED DONATION PRICE FOR EACH ONE!

      ML
      Dave

      Reply

  36. The Malm’s? Must be the ~90 year old parents. Their son who was EX-SO and on NOTs dropped dead from a massive heart attack while in his 40’s about 20 years ago.

    I guess they want others to achieve such life success and happiness…

    Reply

  37. BRUCE WISEMAN: Damn, am I important. Check out this nifty medal around my neck. I don’t even have to cross my arms like these other schmoes.

    Reply

  38. Hey, look at that! Kansas City org finally got a telephone!

    And it’s good to see the ChanMan is back, although they are still using that 20 year old photo of him. Anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves at one of those events (or to look up the video of his Type III rant on YouTube) is going to wonder if they’re actually seeing ChanMan Sr. or if he’s recently been stung by a swarm of bees.

    Also, poor Twin Cities org, which is all but dead, has a leaky roof, ect – being regged for ABQ. I bet they raise dozens of dollars from the dozens of Scientologists in the upper midwest.

    Funny story about that, I remember reading on EXSCN that ABQ bought a building for their Ideal Morgue that wasn’t zoned for a church. I guess they somehow got that figured out? lol

    Reply

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