I recently posted about the sycophants gushing over Captain Miscavige.
Here is another one. In celebration of his birthday on Saturday, the brown-nosers at the Stand League sent out this tweet (not a word these days from Fast Eddie Parkin — he was so righteously right, but I guess not good enough in the end and now scrubbing dumpsters somewhere):
Obviously, as the celebrations for Ron’s Birthday are on the decline in terms of importance and attendance, Captain Dave is taking Source’s place. The official propaganda organ of scientology is tweeting out about how it’s a “privilege” to wish him a happy birthday… Yuck. It’s the sort of cringy subservience usually only seen with the cowed servants of despotic dictators.
Most likely Bari Berger has never worked with Captain Dave. At best she might have said “Hello, Sir” as he walked by.
She refers to a piece written by another of the Stand League regulars, Wil Seabrook.
It’s even less likely that Wil Seabrook has ever even met Captain Miscavige, let alone interacted with him and certainly he has never WORKED with him.
He appears to have concocted this as an entry for the “Who can outdo themselves in suck up to David Miscavige zealotry.”
He gets it rolling with “David Miscavige is a personal hero of mine.” It goes downhill from there. The usual lie that “millions of people” have benefited from his work and the proof is the “thunderous applause and standing ovations” by the clubbed seals who attend his events (a thousand or two).
And the next step, he “made my journey up the Scientology Bridge possible.” No longer is it “Ron” who did this in the world of scientology. As history has been rewritten by Miscavige, the Hubbard Bridge was hopelessly flawed and Captain Dave has straightened it all out for everyone: “He has carved out steps where gaps not easily leapt across existed previously,” and has made it “easily accessible to billions of people.” All Hail Ron 2.0.
One of Wil’s greatest “compliments” is that “He’s the kind of larger-than-life person children’s books are written about…” I think he lost the plot there. Children’s books? Like Alice in Wonderland perhaps?
But it seems Wil’s entry was the best they could do.
If anyone doubts that today Captain Miscavige has supplanted the Commodore, they merely need read the drivel from the official mouthpiece of scientology. Soon you will see “success stories” claiming it is a “privilege” to thanks Capt. Dave for their wins and how he has made all their “gains” possible. One thing scientologists are extremely good at — marching in lockstep to the drumbeat of “Command Intention.”
Maria McC says
CAPTAIN Miscavige 🙂
Ammo Alamo says
As always, no stories about how Dave was lovable. or honest, or compassionate, or ethical, or had qualities of someone you actually wanted to hang out with and trade stories of the good old days. It’s another fake happy birthday for him, with his fake well-wishers telling lies so obvious, and so odious, that no one could possibly believe them.
Scientology changed David Miscavige, and not for the better. His dad once told stories about what a good kid Dave was when he was young, meaning Before Sea Org. Today, he tells lies as if he believes them himself. He seems incapable of being honest with those members in good standing who still believe in the “tech.” He gives no outward appearance of believing in the tech, nor is he seen using it, or desiring to “advance spiritually” up their so-called Bridge.
What other leader of a religion acts as if the religion does not exist except as a numbers game – dollars donated, amount of real estate owned, and charts of fake stats?
Personally, I see no happiness or love for life in him. That is an iron-bound prison that he may never escape. Scientology has done him no favors. Anyone who wishes him to suffer should just wish him a long life, because he has shown no sign of maturing or enjoying life as he approaches what for many are their retirement years.
Could Dave retire? Doubtful, because his successor would need a scapegoat for all that is wrong in the cherch, with Dave the prime target should he step down. And how could Dave justify a nice golden parachute to pay for his personal chef and Jon Lobbe elevator shoes?
Dwarf Vader says
Well no other “religion” (not even “cultish” NRMs) builds a concentration camp specifically for its high-ranking members to be thrown in.
Miscavige has no succession plan (and such groups typically don’t have them) and has gutted much of the structure of the group. One can speculate about what happens at the end, unless an internal coup scenario flashes out to be anything other than hypothetical at this point.
Rubbery numbers may not be unique to Scientology, but the gap between illusion and reality is unmatched.
Question for Mike,
Is their Brown Nosing COB Program stuff an OSA program, and who in OSA would be writing the targets.
Or is it an RTC program, and who in RTC would be writing these targets?
I kind of favor it being an OSA program, to counter negative press and leaking disaffection with COB being discovered. Since OSA has those statistics to counter negative PR.
Mike Rinder says
Think it would come from RTC. Dave no doubt rants snd raves about how everyone attacks him and nobody defends him. Then someone like Warren McShane issues orders to do something to apply “Simon Bolivar”
it sure looks like a religion to me. You got heaven and hell’The good guys wear uniforms and the bad guys have Kentucky fried chicken colonel suits and cell phones.Squirrels seem to be rabid,too.
Zee Moo says
Expect a fund drive ($cientology’s actual EP) for the Dave Miscavige giant statue. It will be like the mythical ‘Colossus of Rhodes’ and tower over Clearwater. And all the sea birds will poop on it.
Anne Hill says
“How remarkably fortunate I am that a man such as this chose the life he did.” Instant gag reflex. Followed by incredulity. Clearly, these people never worked with him.
Mike Rinder says
The good thing about these boot licking articles is that they are the perfect thing to show someone how cultish Scientology is.
I wonder if the little nutcase writes them himself?
At this point, he is so despised that the only accolades he will get come from his own pen or one of his robots.
And what ever happened to “Never desire to be liked or admired”?
Evidence of the reverse, just like you say.
I wonder who in RTC is charged with getting the “Brown Nose COB Program” executed?
“Counter the Negative COB Stuff Program”
At least this program of brown nosing does show they have recognized COB’s reputation is shit in the real world.
Otherwise they’d not need to do the “Brown Nosing COB Program.”
In fact if more Brown Nosing COB Programs happen, it means they recognize more anti COB stuff in the news, etc.
It is truly sickening to think they HAVE to use this kind of hyperbole but then to realize they actually believe it. I wonder if he believes that shite? What a state to be in. Delusional!
O/T. Christian Post: Lawsuit accuses Church of Scientology of holding children captive, forcing them into labor
Archived with a screenshot at ESMBR at:
O/T. John Stanard, National Director, Social Betterment Programs & Policy, Church of Scientology National Affairs Office, is on the Council of Advisors of Interfaith Action for Human Rights.
Memorialized with a screenshot on ESMBR at:
Your site is amazing. I am sorry it took me so long to visit it.
I knew Dave and interacted with him during my years in the Sea Ogre. And so I know who/what he truly is.
And so I say this; So, Davey, it is your birthday once again. May it be your last.
I”ll drink to that — may it be your last! Speaking of last birthdays, does anyone know if Ed Parkin is alive? He was very old back in 2014 when he spied on me and reported back about me and that was 8 years ago. He could be dead now which would explain why we don’t see anything from him or about him anymore. Does anyone know anything about him?
Atlanta Guy says
Is Bari Berger any relation to the late, great Yogi Berger?
Dead Man Talking Bill Straass says
I do not know but I know that Yogi’s wife’s name was Marci.
Atlanta Guy says
I knew them both. Yogi was a Div 6 exec in Atl and Marci held a post for a bit as well before they moved to CW. Yogi was quite a character, lots of fun.
Dead Man Talking Bill Straass says
I never met either of them but I knew their daughters Taina (now Joseph and Shawn ( now Schoellor).
Atlanta Guy says
Yogi was, to me, a kind and dear soul. I enjoyed the short time that we were on staff together. Lots of laughing, I know, that doesn’t fit with the scene, but he was a lot of fun. He was a loud character. I think that accent may have been Brooklyn or Bronx, not sure.
I remember once when he was holding the cans for a meter drill for another student, and he was asked for a time that he wanted to get out. You of course already know why, but the desire of the student was to have Yogi turn on a theta bop (I actually forgot and had to think about what it was called, hallelujah!). Yogi sat there thinking and the needle started to wiggle, and he had this smirk on his face. The student asked him what it was, Yogi burst out laughing and said “Hell yah I wanted to get out.” “The damn airplane was on fire!!!”
He was a USAF fighter pilot in Korea.
Marcie seemed quiet when I knew her. I worked with her some but I think she was auditing on 7 and she was flummoxed or something.
And when he dies he will be replaced by another human just like him. If it doesn’t finally implode.
Wouldn’t Captain Dave (stolen valor?) be considered a failure since he chose so many people to work at executive levels who ended up being SPs? How embarrassing…
Bryon Eckert says
Captain Dave’s stat is the amount of money in Sea Org reserves. The other stats are someone else’s problem, curse those damn SPs. The title captain he bestowed upon himself, a little like Captain and Tennille except Daryl Dragon was a man of talent. Unlike Captain Crunch who is loved by all, Captain Dave is loved only by the brainwashed. It does look like he follows Billy Joel’s advice about getting high with Captain Jack.
Has anyone ever fought back? With as many people as he has attacked, I wonder if Captain Napoleon Syndrome has ever been clocked in the jaw.
Komodo Dragon says
Marc Hedley had to be drsgged out of a meeting before he slugged Capt’n Blowhard.
Marc details the episode in his book: “Blown for Good”. Excellent book!
Byron that isn’t the stat of anyone in RTC, according to Hubtard anyway. That is the stat of the WDC Chairman (CO CMO INT).